Sunday, November 6, 2011

Reason #34 Why Killing Yourself May Be a Viable Response to Contemporary Culture

Exiting this world rather than continuing to contemplate this pic’s existence as evidentiary proof of Godless nihilism is, when you think about it, a perfectly rational response.

No, I’m not serious, little Timmy reading HCwDB on his Dad’s computer. Put down the rat poison. I’m sorry Billy gives you nuggies on the playground. It’s sure to get better. Well, probably not. But hey, Lucky Charms is on sale at Ralphs.

Too depressing?

I’m gonna go eat a Cinnebon.

# posted by douchebag1
5:48 pm November, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That guy from Napoleon Dynamite on the left sure looks swole and pale. The other guy has a twig stuck in his side. O sweet NyQuil, I will be staring at you for the next hour while I roll a few in case my neighbour needs a smoke after his mother-in-laws wake ends. These girls are way too far gone to get me going after my scatfest with the X-girls. Fucking Patrick Stewart ruins everything.

6:06 pm November, 6 hermit said...

Lucky Charms® will kill you faster than rat poison.
.
.
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Medical fact
.
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Son

6:14 pm November, 6 lowercaseL said...

Young Ivan Turgenev in the middle is also heavy on the hover hands. http://hoverhands.org/

6:21 pm November, 6 Nancy Dreuche said...

I toast your Cinnabon with my Crown and Coke, DB1. Yeah I guess all of Canada’s exports aren’t sad. I’m not drinking because of this pic, I’ve got real problems. Alcohol isn’t gonna solve them, but when you’re watching Harry Potter with the Rifftrax on, you need a cocktail or possibly two if I can manage to replenish it with water so my parents don’t know the difference. I may not live in the basement anymore but I can still take advantage of the free booze right?

6:39 pm November, 6 idfma said...

“The perfect man of action is the suicide.”
.
–William Carlos Williams
“Descent of Winter”
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Now you never have to wonder what winter smells like.

6:41 pm November, 6 Nostradouchus said...

Monaco bag

7:21 pm November, 6 DarkSock said...

Boiled Egg Butt Plugs…

7:57 pm November, 6 Wedgie said...

Anatomically correct, too. Just 3 easy payments of $1255.99

8:01 pm November, 6 Medusa Oblongata said...

If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.
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Nah. I’d rather beat ’em. Even if I got to jail.

8:02 pm November, 6 FoghornLeghorn said...

Must have been a sale on bad sunglasses and boob jobs.

8:42 pm November, 6 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Silicon based life does exist!

9:16 pm November, 6 Ted Brogan said...

Combined IQ is reaching triple digits. Congratulations!

11:49 pm November, 6 creature said...

he’s wearing ‘Depends’!

2:11 am November, 7 Anonymous said...

I still like girlz better than menz. Especially in this pic.
.
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Fake fuccers

4:53 am November, 7 CB Popped said...

Tighty whitey – brief styled speedos are in.
Always have been.

5:33 am November, 7 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Tighty-Whitey Douche on the left has jumped into contention vis a vis the Douchiest Douche-Face category. He’s a “comer” as they say in racing parlance, and a fuccen douchebag as they say in douchebag parlance.
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NOTE: TRANNY ALERT! TRANNY ALERT!

6:09 am November, 7 Nancy Dreuche said...

Guy on the right could hover is hands over me anyday. Damn that’s a well filled out Speedo.

6:17 am November, 7 Nancy Dreuche said...

Its not cheating if he just hover humps me right?

6:29 am November, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Hermit
.
Dang that NyQuil has a foggy hangover. You’re supposed to stop at one bottle, right?
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Nepos

6:40 am November, 7 Hurl Scheibe said...

This picture makes me wish that the Soviet Union had won the cold war. The Politburo would never allow this travesty to exist.

7:18 am November, 7 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

The only thing hott about these eastern european bleeths is the mounds of plastic that are vaguely reminiscent of breasts. Other than that, it looks like a necrotizing bacteria culture.

8:41 am November, 7 creature said...

a pair of ‘Bore-Ass’ & Nastytasha’s

9:31 am November, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

They have to be aliens. I’m not talkin’ crossin’-the-border-type aliens but those kind from outer space. In order to fit in they changed forms as soon as possible and the first thing they saw were douches. Only explanation.

7:32 pm November, 7 Bret Easton Douchis said...

@nancy
.
Groucho’s secret phrase for today is, indeed, “hover hump”. Congratulations, you just won these four stooges’ annual supply of Valtrex and a fine sampler package of Porch Beef.
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Hover Hump…. Gonna beat that phrase into the ground for the rest of this week….

4:46 am November, 8 Rick Derris said...

The blonde guy looks like the offspring of illicit sex between Vanilla Ice and Val “Iceman” Kilmer. The other douche reminds me of the Preppie Killer from 1986.

Damn . . . I think I am stuck in 1990.

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