Sunday, November 20, 2011
Techno Viking is Still Out There
Still protecting the honor of women.
Still receiving bottles of water that are held upside down.
Hot Chicks With Douche Bags
PICTURES OF HOT CHICKS WITH TOTAL AND COMPLETE DOUCHEBAGS. WITH COMMENTARY.
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Hall of Mock
- Pfah
- DarkSock
- Baron Von Goolo
- Troy Tempest
- Steve L
- Wheezer
- Medusa Oblongata
- creature
- Crucial Head
- Mr. White
- Archidoucheis
- Mr. Biggs
- Vin Douchal
- Sergeant Scrote Stain
- boatbutter
- Captain Bringdown
- Whoop-di-douche
- Jacques Doucheteau
- massengill
- Dr. Bunsen Honeydouche
- Mr. Scrotato Head
- Deltus
- The Reverend Chad Kroeger
- mr.reeve
- Wedgie
- Et Tu Douche?
- Eliza Douchcoo
- dbBen
- soy bomb
- DoucheyWallnuts
- I R A Darth Aggie
- jonezy
- Hermit
- Chris in ‘Baghdad
- Douchble Helix
- the douche is alright
- Choad the Douche Sprocket
- Stephanie
- The Dude
- Dude McCrudeshoes
- Sir David Douchenborough
- Il Douché
- Bag A
- douche equis
- Capt. James T. Douche
- Charles Nelson Douchely
- THEONETRUEDOUCHE
- Merle Baggard
- ehcuodouche
- Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
- Charles Douchewin
- FredN.
- Ol' Dirty Douchebag
- In memoriam: bcs
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Is he having a seizure?
Ecstasy is a Hell of a drug.
Twit
I’m dying to know what he said, but since it wasn’t in English, it wouldn’t have helped to hear it.
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WTF?
He dances like a kung fu zombie. It’s fascinating and disgusting at the same time.
How do you say “Don’t eat the brown acid” in Norwegian?
I’m not going to bag on Techno Viking. He’s what heroes are made of, with is protection of women and his Righteous Point. If he were in the U.S., he would patrol OWS portests and send away pepper spray-happy police with his Righteous Point and Dance of Honor.
If a cracked out weirdo on E is protecting my honor, I’m screwed. I’ll stick with the weird homeless drifter who keeps me safe from excess shopping carts and soda cans. Plus he makes the cutest dolls from human hair.
Wait – Techno Viking has invented a new DBag class.
There’s no question that he has plenty of douchiness about him – no shirt, carefully sculpted physique, jewelry around his neck, meticulously crafted facial hair, and most notably the preening, peacocking, arrogant prancing and posturing of all douchedom. However: his hippie/homeless look excludes him from the ranks of typical Vegas douchosity, yet is not really herpsterism.
So what do we call someone like this? What is the appropriate classification of this new Douche species?
I’m with Mr. White on this one. Techno Viking laid down the law to Mr. Grabbyhands and sent him on his way. Techno Viking can dance however he’d like.
Techno Viking once ate an anvil in the morning. In the afternoon he framed out a house by jerking off.
agree with White & MC 900, techno-viking sits at the right hand of Odin, eats I-beams & craps out boulder sized benwa balls…they call him Valkyrie!
Techno Viking is Samurai Scrotes 2nd cousin
Techno Viking once hocked a loogie. They now call that loogie Iceland.
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He feels kind of bad about that whole Bjork thing, though.
when Techno Viking has flatulence, icebergs melt
they carve Tchno Vikings turds into dugout canoes
Techno Viking went on a holiday this year. He was hoping to get a blowey in a Thai massage parlour. When he looked down to see the beauty of the person lipping his shaft he saw Nancy Dreuche. He was so enraged at her girth that he went on a murderous killing spree that ended quickly before he escaped with a heart punch to Zyzz who was sticking his non-testicled aesthetic into a 7 year old ladyboy.
St. Vitus Dancebag
Techno Viking can speak Ham.
Techno Viking’s skeleton is made out of bear cancers.
Techno Viking’s asshole is a living autonomous writhing hairless cat head.
Techno Viking drives a 1983 Honda Civic upholstered with Yeti foreskins and painted with the stolen souls of eldelry Minnesotans.
Techno Viking has leather teeth.
Techno Viking has a glass leg and it’s full of New Coke.
Techno Viking works in construction and solders residential plumbing by pissing on surveyors stakes.
Techno Viking eats oatmeal and shits out wheat husks.
Techno Viking’s ass was the first Scandinavian ATM swiper.
Techno Viking eats igneous rock. After shitting he scoots his ass along the eastern seaboard. This is why we have I-95.
Techno Viking incubates feral meerkats from the egg and brutally ass rapes them to death at maturity.
Techno Viking can PhotoShop reality with his eyes by blinking.
Techno Viking can run up steep inclines at speeds approaching 38 mph with his legs behind his ears, on two whirring pubic hairs.
Techno Viking ejaculates peeled boiled eggs.
Techno Viking toe-fucked your wife while you were boring everyone at the table with your stupid story about the time you didn’t tighten your lug nuts after changing your tire.
Techno Viking ate white marble for years without shitting. When he finally did the Taj Mahal was born.
Techno Viking strip mines the cheese and toppings off of pizzas and you ain’t gone say shit to him about it, are you Mutherfucker?
Techno Viking’s farts are better than anything Nickleback has ever produced.
Techno Viking stabs pigs with a steak knife and then speed-fucks the stab wound, but in a kind manner that the beasts enjoy to the point where they follow him to the fence and wait there for years to return, only to eventually be taken away to the slaughter house and rendered into a corn dog that Michelle Bachmann fellates.
Techno Viking showed Michelle Bachmann how to cure The Gay, but was unable to cure The Stupid.
Techno Viking farted and Calvin Klein stole the scent to use as his new cologne.
Techno Viking jacks off to automotive repair manuals.
Techno Viking makes Albert Einstein look like Michelle Bachman without the intelligence.
Techno Viking can make 89 yard fieldgoals by sharting greased pigskin out of his rectum at lightspeed
Techno Viking provides security at Abba concerts by stripping naked & wielding an 8 foot cocck above his head like a lariat
Techno Viking can engulf the Mattehorn with his anus & reduce it to cookie crumbs
Techno Viking’s bunghole resembles a hairy fjord
Techno Viking gave birth to Ray Nitschke afetr eating a 55 gallon drum of Dannon yogurt & washing it down with an elephant skin full of castor oil & meade
Techno Viking is the only one to ever bring Plinky’s mom to vaginal orgasm…he used european old growth timber, the oil of 1 blue whale & the jaws of life
Techno Viking dolphin fucks Oprah Winfrey
Techno Viking is the new G*d of the Mormon church…they celebrate his birtday by sodomizing herds of goat
Techno Viking has season tickets to Giants games where he masterbates the uprights into an image of Thor.
Techno Viking is beard-fucking my mind.
Techno Viking ferries pygmies on his cock-pole.
Techno Viking ears the paper.
Techno Viking anal fucks Jerry Rice.
Grover Norquist signed the Techno Viking pledge.
Techno Viking was gang raped by an organised group of retarded strip miners .
Techno Viking was butt-fucked by a stainless steel umbrella handle.
Techno Viking has ribs made of wooden dowels. And they are all named “Larry”.
Techno Viking never gets sick, because he just stares the germs down.
After Techno Viking and Jerry Sandusky engaged in some harmless horseplay, Techno Viking was left sullen and confused and soon withdrew from after school activities.
Techno Viking saves the ladies from Mister Grabbybutt, and then shoots an invisible ray from his pointing finger tip, causing Mister Grabbybutt’s pancreas to turn to coal.
Techno Viking sits in sweat lodges to cool off.
Techno Viking’s swollen prostate emits barely audible squeaking sounds which frighten cats and small children.
I’m starting to think Techno Viking should get a nottadouche. No true douchebag cares enough to protect women.
I am now lobbying for a “drug induced bag” clause to the nottadouche ranking.
Techno Viking is no Samurai Scrote, but then, neither is Samurai Scrote.
Techno Viking caused a series of manhole cover explosions after a particularly violent bowel movement .
Techno Viking has training wheels on his cocck & races rabbits with it
Techno Viking uses UC cheerleaders as Qtips
Techno Viking uses the Trojan mascot as a condom
The size of Techno Viking’s ham sandwich caused the domesticated pig to go extinct.
the Titanic creased its hull on the submerged penis of Techno Viking
Techno Viking fucks whales for practice
Troy 3:07,
Dude, that really blew my mind in a chicken or egg kind of way.
Techno Viking can breakdance on his knob
If SEAL Team 6 had been hunting for Techno Viking and found him they’d have turned around and gone home empty handed.
Techno Viking has a pet name for his member…he calls it Newt Gingrich
Techno Viking wears Rosie O’Donnell as a party favor on his unit for the feast of Stephen
Techno Viking and Samurai Scrote are co-authoring the biography of Michelle Obama’s penis.
Techno Viking squeals in Cantonese while chain raping members of the House of Lords
Techno Viking drank a gallon each of blue, red, green, yellow, white, and purple paint. Upon seeing the resultant explosion Jackson Pollack switched from painting houses to being an artist. Fact.
Techno Viking is the illegitimate son of Chuck Norris
Techno Viking has memorized the # Pi…backwards
Techno Viking is on the most wanted list of the universe
Techno Viking eats rainbows and shits Skittles
If Techno Viking were to come in contact with Chuck Norris, the ensuing supernova of ass-kicking power would consume the entire Milky Way galaxy.
Techno Viking jogs on the autobahn
Upon viewing this video on YouTube, Sting became so inspired he invented time travel and travelled into the past and wrote, “Every Breath You Take” as an homage to Techno Viking.
Techno Viking shit a small block of wood shrouded in a malignant goat uterus.
Techno Viking knits puppies to make kevlar
Techo Viking owns a Yogurt Love franchise.
Techno Viking shaves with chainsaws
Techno Viking crafted a beer glass that was as tall as infinity but then got tired of straining to take a sip.
Which is called Viking Yogurt Love.
True story.
Techno Viking in 2013 will re-invigorate the tired game of Major League Baseball by introducing the concept of the Team Pistol. One round, can only be used in the 9th inning, and limited to .32 caliber snub-nose.
When Samurai Scrote is feeling a bit down (which isn’t often), he watches videos of Techno Viking in slow motion and rehearses the moves.
Techno Viking lances his hemeroids with stalagtytes
Techno Viking is Hulk Hogan’s Xbox Live Avatar.
.
Medical FACT.
Techno Viking tilts skyscraper
Techno Viking shoots 10 ropers of molten lava
Chuck Norris gargles Techno Viking’s nutsack. Not that he’s afraid of Techno viking. He just likes him.
Techno Viking makes cow into sushi
Techno Viking has Ambien™ for teeth.
Techno Viking turned Chuck Norris inside out, rat-chewed the gristle off of his ribs, then re-inverted him except for the asshole.
Techno Viking can hover-fuck.
Techno Viking ate Baryshnikov for breakfast and Aphex Twins for lunch. His terpsichorean prowess is the result. Cuz he rollz like dat.
Techno Viking uses the tattered sails of ancient merchant vessels to relieve his inflamed scrotum blisters and wipe the guilt from his filthy ass nipples.
Techno Vikings penis is used to make the hole in auto tires
Techno Viking learned to twitch from Ian Curtis.
Too soon?
Daft Punk is playing at Techno Viking’s house.
Many have often asked why we Austrians gave in so easily to the Germans during the Anschluß of 1938. Few people realize that the Germans have possessed Techno Viking technology since the early 1930s, and then-chancellor of Austria Kurt Schussnig, knew that Austria’s tiny military was no match for the blitzkrieg strike and incredible destructive power of even a single Techno Viking. It was rumored at the time that the Germans had an entire division of Techno Vikings, who would march into battle in front of special “Klangentanks” outfitted with giant phonographs and speakers playing Wagner at high volume.
If Techno Viking were from West Virginia and not Germany, he would be significantly less awesome.
Techno Viking has a personal cameraman that walks slowly backwards in front of him and a phalanx of socialist dancers everywhere he goes.
Techno Viking brushes his teeth with his fist.
Techno Vikings ballsac is embedded with shark teefseses
Techno Viking whistles in the wheat…it sounds like gunfire
Techno Viking can occupy Wall St with one elongated stool
Techno Viking taught StackHouse how to deep fry Turkey by using the nation
1st he boiled Greece
Techno Viking’s erect penis always points in the direction of the nearest Bob Evans® Restaurant.
Techno Viking lashes baby ducklings to the ends of drumsticks for use as Q-tips®.
Techno Viking pushed Natalie Wood into the water with a floor buffer.
Techno Viking danced across Panama years ago. The Panama Canal is the result of his flaccid penis dragging behind him.
when Techno Viking plugs dikes, all of West Hollywood shudders
Techno Viking straps Peggy Fleming & Dorothy Hamel to his feet when he iceskates
Techno Viking went on a hunger strike by eating Ghandi
Techno Viking sharted. Pompeii was buried.
Mitt Romney uses the active ingredient found in Techno Viking’s infected gall bladder as hair coloring and an emergency rectal lubricant.
Techno Viking has a Pet Rock STILL IN its original packaging.
Techno Viking is the real father of Bristol Palins child. No retardation possible.
When Techno Viking gets horny, baby llamas run.
Techno Viking invented Chidurky. That’s a turkey stuffed inside of a duck stuffed inside of a chicken.
Techno Viking takes up two parking spaces when he parks his Geo Metro.
Techno Viking shits corn with pieces of poo in it.
Techno Viking was emotionally damaged when Bob Barker contracted malaria and was forced into retirement.
Techno Viking gave himself a proper Viking funeral…WHILE HE WAS STILL ALIVE.
Techno Viking breast fed an orphaned litter of agnostic draft mules for The Department of Defense.
Techno Viking is the Mayor of two DIFFERENT Denny’s on Foursquare.
Techno Vikings pubic hair looks like Angela Davis’s hairdo
Techno Vikings balls are named Saieed da Muuktah & Baambaatah la Plague
Techno Viking was Ethyl Merman before the sex change
Techno Viking notches his penis…it looks like a saber saw
Techno Viking can bend your mind with a spoon.
There is no “Techno Viking” in “team”.
Techno Viking’s penis has a penis
‘TV’ is short for Techno Viking…he’s in your livingroom raping your eyeballs
Techno Viking killed Chuck Norris in 1973, then assumed his identity by skinning and wearing Chuck’s hide.
Techno Viking eats pudding skins alone in the dark.
Techno Viking patented the human hand, because it never occurred to anyone else to do it.
Techno Viking uses his own cockk as a meat bong.
Techno Viking keeps lumps of it ’round th’ back.
Techno Viking invented butter by punching the ever-lovin’ fuck out of a cow.
Cynthia Plaster Caster made a mold of Techno Viking’s cocck. It is now known as The Washington Monument.
Techno Viking cares about women so much, he hand-rolls tampons for them out of his beard hairs.
Techno Viking’s bedroom slippers are made from Herman Goehring’s ass cheeks.
Techno Viking is so fucking amazing, a Japanese dude made a sculpture of him.
.
No, seriously.
Techno Viking worships taint.
Baboon sniffin’ taint.
Techno Viking can squeeze this
Techno Viking makes diamonds by crushing coal between his pecs.
Techno Viking was raised by a pack of condoms.
Techno Viking once welded the fender on a 1985 Volvo by lighting a fart.
Techno Viking uses a live fire serpent for a condom.
Norse Krumping will soon be swiffering across the nation.
When he unzips his cut-offs lightning bolts shoot out.
Techno Viking poops lutefisk.
Techno Viking uses prosciutto as condoms.
Techno Viking’s beard houses an anarcho-syndicalist commune of lice called Freedonia II. The national anthem is Andy Gibb’s “Shadow Dancing”.
Techno Viking fucked Angela Merkel.
Dammit Medusa I MUST have that sculpture. My children will go without presents for Christmas if necessary. I demand that sculpture. Not in a gay way, mind you. I just wanted to recreate a small-scale viking yogurt rodeo.
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By the way, what size is that figurine? Is it, say, small enough to insert into a human anus, y’reckon?
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Or at least a horse anus?
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Or Breadbox?
Techno Viking visits this plane of reality from time to time but primarily resides in the World of Warcraft.
.
No, really.
Douchble Helix took my line!
Fuck the gay pride parade, Technoviking is part of the gay pride Luftwaffe.
(It’s the best I could come up with…)
TechnoViking can kill Chuck Norris with his deadly arsenal of mismatch colored socks.
Techno Viking’s roach clip is the jaws of life.
Techno Viking lubes with crude.
Tehno Viking’s gaping bottom hole resembles a bear cave…as many a bear has hibernated there…polar as well as kodiak & others ie Alec Baldwin
Techno Viking invented the Slush Puppy.
Techno Viking beat Mothra with his cock, tip only.
Techno Vikings cock is 10 inches, around.
Techno Viking gave Brenda Vaccaro her raspy, trademark voice, with his barbed pube hair.
Techno Viking bongs tall-boys of BLL, with his cock.
Techno Viking stole Odin’s taint.
Techno Viking washes his crusty balls over geothermal vents yodelling Slim Whitman tunes.
Techno Viking hates that pesky rabbit.
Techno Viking voted for Ron Paul.
Techno Viking was neutered by Paul Bunyan’s lover Blue.
Techno Viking’s blood type is AIDS.
Techno Viking’s balls shave him.
Techno Viking had toenail fungus. It caused smallpox.
Techno Viking has a fault line on his spleen.
Techno Viking has x-ray limbs.
Techno Viking was arrested by the FAA for blinding pilots with a lazer pointer. But it was his cock.
Techno Viking volunteers to repair prolapsed uterii with his teeth.
Techno Viking rapes children with his mind.
Ya know, without that (possibly staged) saving of the damsel in distress, this guy’s just a douchebag.
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As for staging the saving of the damsel in distress, he’s a bigger douchebag.
Wow!!!, how did i miss this meme? anyway good stuff.
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When Techno Viking isn’t dancing he’s a DJ and spins records with his cocck.
Techno Viking could singlehandedly beat the Cleveland Browns.
Techno Viking inspires great meme’s
Techno Viking, who is ageless, was the choreographer for Dancing Rick
When Techno Viking throws an interception, he does not break his thumb trying to tackle the cornerback who picked him.
Techno Viking thinks Thor is a pussy.
Techno Vikings Lutfisk fueled flatulence is a leading cause of the green house affect.
@ Sock 9:20
I KNOW. As you can see from the comments, people are begging for the damn thing and the guys says no. He says it’s a one-shot deal, and it’s not for sale. Pfft. If he’d called McFarlane Toys, I guarantee that would have been their biggest seller of the year. Pussies. I would have bought three, myself. One for each hole.
.
Inserters.
At 3:46 pm Darksock proves that the purest form of absurdity lies in the core truth of sad reality.
Techno Vikings rectum accepts medical waste from 23 major hospitals.
Techno Viking is ambivalent towards Lämp.
Techno Viking bakes clams via ass-clenching.
Techno Viking downloads mugs of santorum from iTunes.
Techno Viking’s ass-crack has 5 vestigal eyes and when he runs they blink.
Little known fact. Techno Viking runs a crack team of black ops mercenaries for hire out of Oslo similar to the Basterds under the codename: “Thor’s Scrotum”. His team includes a Japanese computer hacker only known as “Yoshi’s Aborted Egg” a Sicilian Pimp who is an expert at infiltration and subterfuge who goes by the name “Zio Mangiapesce”, also a former Vegas club promoter originally from Israel and possibly a former agent for the Mossad named Howie Feltersnatch who possibly knows or was at one point involved with those responsible for the death of Pumpy. Also a mysterious Tijuana Bleeth who goes by Maria de Guadalupe de chimichanga de Spoogegobbler.
Techno Viking > The Most Interesting Man in the World > Bill Braski > Chuck Norris > Mike Ditka
techno viking’s shorts are made of welded steel.
Techno Viking taught Silvio Berlesconi how to bunga bunga.
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.
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Rollmops.
F.T.W.:
5:32 pm
November, 20
creature said…
‘TV’ is short for Techno Viking…he’s in your livingroom raping your eyeballs