Sunday, November 20, 2011

Techno Viking is Still Out There

Still protecting the honor of women.

Still receiving bottles of water that are held upside down.

# posted by douchebag1
8:46 am November, 20 Scooby Douche said...

Is he having a seizure?

8:47 am November, 20 Douchble Helix said...

Ecstasy is a Hell of a drug.

9:01 am November, 20 Ohio FJ said...

Twit

9:07 am November, 20 idfma said...

I’m dying to know what he said, but since it wasn’t in English, it wouldn’t have helped to hear it.
.
WTF?

9:11 am November, 20 idfma said...

He dances like a kung fu zombie. It’s fascinating and disgusting at the same time.

9:56 am November, 20 Wedgie said...

How do you say “Don’t eat the brown acid” in Norwegian?

9:59 am November, 20 Mr. White said...

I’m not going to bag on Techno Viking. He’s what heroes are made of, with is protection of women and his Righteous Point. If he were in the U.S., he would patrol OWS portests and send away pepper spray-happy police with his Righteous Point and Dance of Honor.

10:13 am November, 20 Nancy Dreuche said...

If a cracked out weirdo on E is protecting my honor, I’m screwed. I’ll stick with the weird homeless drifter who keeps me safe from excess shopping carts and soda cans. Plus he makes the cutest dolls from human hair.

10:31 am November, 20 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Wait – Techno Viking has invented a new DBag class.
There’s no question that he has plenty of douchiness about him – no shirt, carefully sculpted physique, jewelry around his neck, meticulously crafted facial hair, and most notably the preening, peacocking, arrogant prancing and posturing of all douchedom. However: his hippie/homeless look excludes him from the ranks of typical Vegas douchosity, yet is not really herpsterism.
So what do we call someone like this? What is the appropriate classification of this new Douche species?

10:39 am November, 20 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

I’m with Mr. White on this one. Techno Viking laid down the law to Mr. Grabbyhands and sent him on his way. Techno Viking can dance however he’d like.

10:40 am November, 20 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Techno Viking once ate an anvil in the morning. In the afternoon he framed out a house by jerking off.

11:04 am November, 20 creature said...

agree with White & MC 900, techno-viking sits at the right hand of Odin, eats I-beams & craps out boulder sized benwa balls…they call him Valkyrie!

11:06 am November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking is Samurai Scrotes 2nd cousin

11:15 am November, 20 Mr. White said...

Techno Viking once hocked a loogie. They now call that loogie Iceland.
.
He feels kind of bad about that whole Bjork thing, though.

1:05 pm November, 20 creature said...

when Techno Viking has flatulence, icebergs melt

1:07 pm November, 20 creature said...

they carve Tchno Vikings turds into dugout canoes

1:19 pm November, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking went on a holiday this year. He was hoping to get a blowey in a Thai massage parlour. When he looked down to see the beauty of the person lipping his shaft he saw Nancy Dreuche. He was so enraged at her girth that he went on a murderous killing spree that ended quickly before he escaped with a heart punch to Zyzz who was sticking his non-testicled aesthetic into a 7 year old ladyboy.

1:24 pm November, 20 Blah said...

St. Vitus Dancebag

1:34 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking can speak Ham.

1:35 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking’s skeleton is made out of bear cancers.

1:36 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking’s asshole is a living autonomous writhing hairless cat head.

1:38 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking drives a 1983 Honda Civic upholstered with Yeti foreskins and painted with the stolen souls of eldelry Minnesotans.

1:40 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking has leather teeth.

1:40 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking has a glass leg and it’s full of New Coke.

1:41 pm November, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking works in construction and solders residential plumbing by pissing on surveyors stakes.

1:42 pm November, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking eats oatmeal and shits out wheat husks.

1:43 pm November, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking’s ass was the first Scandinavian ATM swiper.

1:51 pm November, 20 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Techno Viking eats igneous rock. After shitting he scoots his ass along the eastern seaboard. This is why we have I-95.

1:51 pm November, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking incubates feral meerkats from the egg and brutally ass rapes them to death at maturity.

1:56 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking can PhotoShop reality with his eyes by blinking.

1:59 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking can run up steep inclines at speeds approaching 38 mph with his legs behind his ears, on two whirring pubic hairs.

1:59 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking ejaculates peeled boiled eggs.

2:01 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking toe-fucked your wife while you were boring everyone at the table with your stupid story about the time you didn’t tighten your lug nuts after changing your tire.

2:07 pm November, 20 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Techno Viking ate white marble for years without shitting. When he finally did the Taj Mahal was born.

2:08 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking strip mines the cheese and toppings off of pizzas and you ain’t gone say shit to him about it, are you Mutherfucker?

2:10 pm November, 20 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Techno Viking’s farts are better than anything Nickleback has ever produced.

2:10 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking stabs pigs with a steak knife and then speed-fucks the stab wound, but in a kind manner that the beasts enjoy to the point where they follow him to the fence and wait there for years to return, only to eventually be taken away to the slaughter house and rendered into a corn dog that Michelle Bachmann fellates.

2:11 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking showed Michelle Bachmann how to cure The Gay, but was unable to cure The Stupid.

2:11 pm November, 20 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Techno Viking farted and Calvin Klein stole the scent to use as his new cologne.

2:12 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking jacks off to automotive repair manuals.

2:14 pm November, 20 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Techno Viking makes Albert Einstein look like Michelle Bachman without the intelligence.

2:20 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking can make 89 yard fieldgoals by sharting greased pigskin out of his rectum at lightspeed

2:22 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking provides security at Abba concerts by stripping naked & wielding an 8 foot cocck above his head like a lariat

2:23 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking can engulf the Mattehorn with his anus & reduce it to cookie crumbs

2:25 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking’s bunghole resembles a hairy fjord

2:28 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking gave birth to Ray Nitschke afetr eating a 55 gallon drum of Dannon yogurt & washing it down with an elephant skin full of castor oil & meade

2:30 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking is the only one to ever bring Plinky’s mom to vaginal orgasm…he used european old growth timber, the oil of 1 blue whale & the jaws of life

2:31 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking dolphin fucks Oprah Winfrey

2:38 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking is the new G*d of the Mormon church…they celebrate his birtday by sodomizing herds of goat

2:44 pm November, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking has season tickets to Giants games where he masterbates the uprights into an image of Thor.

2:46 pm November, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking is beard-fucking my mind.

2:49 pm November, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking ferries pygmies on his cock-pole.

2:50 pm November, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking ears the paper.

2:52 pm November, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking anal fucks Jerry Rice.

2:52 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Grover Norquist signed the Techno Viking pledge.

2:52 pm November, 20 hermit said...

Techno Viking was gang raped by an organised group of retarded strip miners .

2:54 pm November, 20 hermit said...

Techno Viking was butt-fucked by a stainless steel umbrella handle.

3:01 pm November, 20 troy tempest said...

Techno Viking has ribs made of wooden dowels. And they are all named “Larry”.

3:02 pm November, 20 troy tempest said...

Techno Viking never gets sick, because he just stares the germs down.

3:03 pm November, 20 hermit said...

After Techno Viking and Jerry Sandusky engaged in some harmless horseplay, Techno Viking was left sullen and confused and soon withdrew from after school activities.

3:04 pm November, 20 troy tempest said...

Techno Viking saves the ladies from Mister Grabbybutt, and then shoots an invisible ray from his pointing finger tip, causing Mister Grabbybutt’s pancreas to turn to coal.

3:05 pm November, 20 troy tempest said...

Techno Viking sits in sweat lodges to cool off.

3:06 pm November, 20 hermit said...

Techno Viking’s swollen prostate emits barely audible squeaking sounds which frighten cats and small children.

3:06 pm November, 20 YodaBag said...

I’m starting to think Techno Viking should get a nottadouche. No true douchebag cares enough to protect women.
I am now lobbying for a “drug induced bag” clause to the nottadouche ranking.

3:07 pm November, 20 troy tempest said...

Techno Viking is no Samurai Scrote, but then, neither is Samurai Scrote.

3:08 pm November, 20 hermit said...

Techno Viking caused a series of manhole cover explosions after a particularly violent bowel movement .

3:13 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking has training wheels on his cocck & races rabbits with it

3:14 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking uses UC cheerleaders as Qtips

3:15 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking uses the Trojan mascot as a condom

3:16 pm November, 20 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

The size of Techno Viking’s ham sandwich caused the domesticated pig to go extinct.

3:17 pm November, 20 creature said...

the Titanic creased its hull on the submerged penis of Techno Viking

3:18 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking fucks whales for practice

3:18 pm November, 20 hermit said...

Troy 3:07,
Dude, that really blew my mind in a chicken or egg kind of way.

3:18 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking can breakdance on his knob

3:19 pm November, 20 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

If SEAL Team 6 had been hunting for Techno Viking and found him they’d have turned around and gone home empty handed.

3:20 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking has a pet name for his member…he calls it Newt Gingrich

3:21 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking wears Rosie O’Donnell as a party favor on his unit for the feast of Stephen

3:24 pm November, 20 hermit said...

Techno Viking and Samurai Scrote are co-authoring the biography of Michelle Obama’s penis.

3:25 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking squeals in Cantonese while chain raping members of the House of Lords

3:25 pm November, 20 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Techno Viking drank a gallon each of blue, red, green, yellow, white, and purple paint. Upon seeing the resultant explosion Jackson Pollack switched from painting houses to being an artist. Fact.

3:26 pm November, 20 YodaBag said...

Techno Viking is the illegitimate son of Chuck Norris

3:26 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking has memorized the # Pi…backwards

3:27 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking is on the most wanted list of the universe

3:27 pm November, 20 YodaBag said...

Techno Viking eats rainbows and shits Skittles

3:28 pm November, 20 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

If Techno Viking were to come in contact with Chuck Norris, the ensuing supernova of ass-kicking power would consume the entire Milky Way galaxy.

3:28 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking jogs on the autobahn

3:28 pm November, 20 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Upon viewing this video on YouTube, Sting became so inspired he invented time travel and travelled into the past and wrote, “Every Breath You Take” as an homage to Techno Viking.

3:30 pm November, 20 hermit said...

Techno Viking shit a small block of wood shrouded in a malignant goat uterus.

3:30 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking knits puppies to make kevlar

3:31 pm November, 20 Wedgie said...

Techo Viking owns a Yogurt Love franchise.

3:31 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking shaves with chainsaws

3:31 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking crafted a beer glass that was as tall as infinity but then got tired of straining to take a sip.

3:31 pm November, 20 Wedgie said...

Which is called Viking Yogurt Love.
True story.

3:33 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking in 2013 will re-invigorate the tired game of Major League Baseball by introducing the concept of the Team Pistol. One round, can only be used in the 9th inning, and limited to .32 caliber snub-nose.

3:34 pm November, 20 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

When Samurai Scrote is feeling a bit down (which isn’t often), he watches videos of Techno Viking in slow motion and rehearses the moves.

3:34 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking lances his hemeroids with stalagtytes

3:34 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking is Hulk Hogan’s Xbox Live Avatar.
.
Medical FACT.

3:35 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking tilts skyscraper

3:36 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking shoots 10 ropers of molten lava

3:37 pm November, 20 troy tempest said...

Chuck Norris gargles Techno Viking’s nutsack. Not that he’s afraid of Techno viking. He just likes him.

3:37 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking makes cow into sushi

3:37 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking has Ambien™ for teeth.

3:38 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking turned Chuck Norris inside out, rat-chewed the gristle off of his ribs, then re-inverted him except for the asshole.

3:39 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking can hover-fuck.

3:39 pm November, 20 troy tempest said...

Techno Viking ate Baryshnikov for breakfast and Aphex Twins for lunch. His terpsichorean prowess is the result. Cuz he rollz like dat.

3:39 pm November, 20 hermit said...

Techno Viking uses the tattered sails of ancient merchant vessels to relieve his inflamed scrotum blisters and wipe the guilt from his filthy ass nipples.

3:40 pm November, 20 YodaBag said...

Techno Vikings penis is used to make the hole in auto tires

3:40 pm November, 20 troy tempest said...

Techno Viking learned to twitch from Ian Curtis.

Too soon?

3:41 pm November, 20 Nancy Dreuche said...

Daft Punk is playing at Techno Viking’s house.

3:43 pm November, 20 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

Many have often asked why we Austrians gave in so easily to the Germans during the Anschluß of 1938. Few people realize that the Germans have possessed Techno Viking technology since the early 1930s, and then-chancellor of Austria Kurt Schussnig, knew that Austria’s tiny military was no match for the blitzkrieg strike and incredible destructive power of even a single Techno Viking. It was rumored at the time that the Germans had an entire division of Techno Vikings, who would march into battle in front of special “Klangentanks” outfitted with giant phonographs and speakers playing Wagner at high volume.

3:45 pm November, 20 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

If Techno Viking were from West Virginia and not Germany, he would be significantly less awesome.

3:46 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking has a personal cameraman that walks slowly backwards in front of him and a phalanx of socialist dancers everywhere he goes.

3:47 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking brushes his teeth with his fist.

3:47 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Vikings ballsac is embedded with shark teefseses

3:48 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking whistles in the wheat…it sounds like gunfire

3:51 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking can occupy Wall St with one elongated stool

3:52 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking taught StackHouse how to deep fry Turkey by using the nation

3:53 pm November, 20 creature said...

1st he boiled Greece

3:53 pm November, 20 hermit said...

Techno Viking’s erect penis always points in the direction of the nearest Bob Evans® Restaurant.

3:58 pm November, 20 hermit said...

Techno Viking lashes baby ducklings to the ends of drumsticks for use as Q-tips®.

4:01 pm November, 20 hermit said...

Techno Viking pushed Natalie Wood into the water with a floor buffer.

4:02 pm November, 20 YodaBag said...

Techno Viking danced across Panama years ago. The Panama Canal is the result of his flaccid penis dragging behind him.

4:05 pm November, 20 creature said...

when Techno Viking plugs dikes, all of West Hollywood shudders

4:06 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking straps Peggy Fleming & Dorothy Hamel to his feet when he iceskates

4:07 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking went on a hunger strike by eating Ghandi

4:12 pm November, 20 YodaBag said...

Techno Viking sharted. Pompeii was buried.

4:17 pm November, 20 hermit said...

Mitt Romney uses the active ingredient found in Techno Viking’s infected gall bladder as hair coloring and an emergency rectal lubricant.

4:20 pm November, 20 Nancy Dreuche said...

Techno Viking has a Pet Rock STILL IN its original packaging.

4:21 pm November, 20 YodaBag said...

Techno Viking is the real father of Bristol Palins child. No retardation possible.

4:22 pm November, 20 YodaBag said...

When Techno Viking gets horny, baby llamas run.

4:24 pm November, 20 Nancy Dreuche said...

Techno Viking invented Chidurky. That’s a turkey stuffed inside of a duck stuffed inside of a chicken.

4:25 pm November, 20 Nancy Dreuche said...

Techno Viking takes up two parking spaces when he parks his Geo Metro.

4:28 pm November, 20 Nancy Dreuche said...

Techno Viking shits corn with pieces of poo in it.

4:45 pm November, 20 hermit said...

Techno Viking was emotionally damaged when Bob Barker contracted malaria and was forced into retirement.

4:48 pm November, 20 Nancy Dreuche said...

Techno Viking gave himself a proper Viking funeral…WHILE HE WAS STILL ALIVE.

4:48 pm November, 20 hermit said...

Techno Viking breast fed an orphaned litter of agnostic draft mules for The Department of Defense.

5:03 pm November, 20 Nancy Dreuche said...

Techno Viking is the Mayor of two DIFFERENT Denny’s on Foursquare.

5:04 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Vikings pubic hair looks like Angela Davis’s hairdo

5:05 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Vikings balls are named Saieed da Muuktah & Baambaatah la Plague

5:06 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking was Ethyl Merman before the sex change

5:07 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking notches his penis…it looks like a saber saw

5:10 pm November, 20 Nancy Dreuche said...

Techno Viking can bend your mind with a spoon.

5:18 pm November, 20 Nancy Dreuche said...

There is no “Techno Viking” in “team”.

5:22 pm November, 20 Justin said...

Techno Viking’s penis has a penis

5:32 pm November, 20 creature said...

‘TV’ is short for Techno Viking…he’s in your livingroom raping your eyeballs

5:41 pm November, 20 I believe it was your mother said...

Techno Viking killed Chuck Norris in 1973, then assumed his identity by skinning and wearing Chuck’s hide.

5:54 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking eats pudding skins alone in the dark.

5:55 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking patented the human hand, because it never occurred to anyone else to do it.

5:56 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking uses his own cockk as a meat bong.

6:07 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking keeps lumps of it ’round th’ back.

6:15 pm November, 20 Medusa Oblongata said...

Techno Viking invented butter by punching the ever-lovin’ fuck out of a cow.

6:16 pm November, 20 Medusa Oblongata said...

Cynthia Plaster Caster made a mold of Techno Viking’s cocck. It is now known as The Washington Monument.

6:17 pm November, 20 Medusa Oblongata said...

Techno Viking cares about women so much, he hand-rolls tampons for them out of his beard hairs.

6:18 pm November, 20 Medusa Oblongata said...

Techno Viking’s bedroom slippers are made from Herman Goehring’s ass cheeks.

6:24 pm November, 20 Medusa Oblongata said...

Techno Viking is so fucking amazing, a Japanese dude made a sculpture of him.
.
No, seriously.

6:28 pm November, 20 CB Popped said...

Techno Viking worships taint.

Baboon sniffin’ taint.

6:36 pm November, 20 creature said...

Techno Viking can squeeze this

6:37 pm November, 20 idfma said...

Techno Viking makes diamonds by crushing coal between his pecs.

7:09 pm November, 20 Nancy Dreuche said...

Techno Viking was raised by a pack of condoms.

7:21 pm November, 20 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Techno Viking once welded the fender on a 1985 Volvo by lighting a fart.

7:22 pm November, 20 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Techno Viking uses a live fire serpent for a condom.

7:24 pm November, 20 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Norse Krumping will soon be swiffering across the nation.

7:27 pm November, 20 Capt. James T. Douche said...

When he unzips his cut-offs lightning bolts shoot out.

7:29 pm November, 20 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Techno Viking poops lutefisk.

8:24 pm November, 20 Douche Springsteen said...

Techno Viking uses prosciutto as condoms.

8:27 pm November, 20 Douche Springsteen said...

Techno Viking’s beard houses an anarcho-syndicalist commune of lice called Freedonia II. The national anthem is Andy Gibb’s “Shadow Dancing”.

8:30 pm November, 20 Douche Springsteen said...

Techno Viking fucked Angela Merkel.

9:20 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Dammit Medusa I MUST have that sculpture. My children will go without presents for Christmas if necessary. I demand that sculpture. Not in a gay way, mind you. I just wanted to recreate a small-scale viking yogurt rodeo.
.
By the way, what size is that figurine? Is it, say, small enough to insert into a human anus, y’reckon?
.
Or at least a horse anus?
.
Or Breadbox?

9:21 pm November, 20 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking visits this plane of reality from time to time but primarily resides in the World of Warcraft.
.
No, really.

12:49 am November, 21 Nostradouchus said...

Douchble Helix took my line!

Fuck the gay pride parade, Technoviking is part of the gay pride Luftwaffe.

(It’s the best I could come up with…)

3:31 am November, 21 sportfogadás online said...

TechnoViking can kill Chuck Norris with his deadly arsenal of mismatch colored socks.

4:50 am November, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking’s roach clip is the jaws of life.

4:51 am November, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking lubes with crude.

4:51 am November, 21 creature said...

Tehno Viking’s gaping bottom hole resembles a bear cave…as many a bear has hibernated there…polar as well as kodiak & others ie Alec Baldwin

4:55 am November, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking invented the Slush Puppy.

4:56 am November, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking beat Mothra with his cock, tip only.

4:57 am November, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Vikings cock is 10 inches, around.

4:58 am November, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking gave Brenda Vaccaro her raspy, trademark voice, with his barbed pube hair.

4:59 am November, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking bongs tall-boys of BLL, with his cock.

5:00 am November, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking stole Odin’s taint.

5:02 am November, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking washes his crusty balls over geothermal vents yodelling Slim Whitman tunes.

5:03 am November, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking hates that pesky rabbit.

5:04 am November, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking voted for Ron Paul.

5:05 am November, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking was neutered by Paul Bunyan’s lover Blue.

5:05 am November, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking’s blood type is AIDS.

5:06 am November, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking’s balls shave him.

5:07 am November, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking had toenail fungus. It caused smallpox.

5:08 am November, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking has a fault line on his spleen.

5:08 am November, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking has x-ray limbs.

5:10 am November, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking was arrested by the FAA for blinding pilots with a lazer pointer. But it was his cock.

5:11 am November, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking volunteers to repair prolapsed uterii with his teeth.

5:13 am November, 21 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Techno Viking rapes children with his mind.

5:39 am November, 21 Douchble Helix said...

Ya know, without that (possibly staged) saving of the damsel in distress, this guy’s just a douchebag.
.
As for staging the saving of the damsel in distress, he’s a bigger douchebag.

6:17 am November, 21 Et Tu Douche? said...

Wow!!!, how did i miss this meme? anyway good stuff.
.
When Techno Viking isn’t dancing he’s a DJ and spins records with his cocck.

6:18 am November, 21 Et Tu Douche? said...

Techno Viking could singlehandedly beat the Cleveland Browns.

6:23 am November, 21 Et Tu Douche? said...

Techno Viking inspires great meme’s

6:35 am November, 21 Et Tu Douche? said...

Techno Viking, who is ageless, was the choreographer for Dancing Rick

6:42 am November, 21 FoghornLeghorn said...

When Techno Viking throws an interception, he does not break his thumb trying to tackle the cornerback who picked him.

6:45 am November, 21 Et Tu Douche? said...

Techno Viking thinks Thor is a pussy.

6:48 am November, 21 Et Tu Douche? said...

Techno Vikings Lutfisk fueled flatulence is a leading cause of the green house affect.

6:57 am November, 21 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Sock 9:20
I KNOW. As you can see from the comments, people are begging for the damn thing and the guys says no. He says it’s a one-shot deal, and it’s not for sale. Pfft. If he’d called McFarlane Toys, I guarantee that would have been their biggest seller of the year. Pussies. I would have bought three, myself. One for each hole.
.
Inserters.

6:57 am November, 21 hermit said...

At 3:46 pm Darksock proves that the purest form of absurdity lies in the core truth of sad reality.

7:07 am November, 21 icame isaw idouched said...

Techno Vikings rectum accepts medical waste from 23 major hospitals.

8:23 am November, 21 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking is ambivalent towards Lämp.

8:24 am November, 21 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking bakes clams via ass-clenching.

8:25 am November, 21 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking downloads mugs of santorum from iTunes.

8:25 am November, 21 DarkSock said...

Techno Viking’s ass-crack has 5 vestigal eyes and when he runs they blink.

9:46 am November, 21 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Little known fact. Techno Viking runs a crack team of black ops mercenaries for hire out of Oslo similar to the Basterds under the codename: “Thor’s Scrotum”. His team includes a Japanese computer hacker only known as “Yoshi’s Aborted Egg” a Sicilian Pimp who is an expert at infiltration and subterfuge who goes by the name “Zio Mangiapesce”, also a former Vegas club promoter originally from Israel and possibly a former agent for the Mossad named Howie Feltersnatch who possibly knows or was at one point involved with those responsible for the death of Pumpy. Also a mysterious Tijuana Bleeth who goes by Maria de Guadalupe de chimichanga de Spoogegobbler.

9:53 am November, 21 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Techno Viking > The Most Interesting Man in the World > Bill Braski > Chuck Norris > Mike Ditka

2:08 pm November, 21 Troy Tempest said...

techno viking’s shorts are made of welded steel.

3:42 pm November, 21 Guid is Good said...

Techno Viking taught Silvio Berlesconi how to bunga bunga.
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Rollmops.

7:26 pm November, 21 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

F.T.W.:

5:32 pm
November, 20
creature said…
‘TV’ is short for Techno Viking…he’s in your livingroom raping your eyeballs

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