Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Why You Never Hang Out at the I-Bar Anymore

Once they hired Tony and put Journey in the jukebox so the B&T crowd could faux-karaoke to “Faithfully,” it was all over.

Kimmy’s just paying her way through pre-law. She thought it was pre-med. What’s the difference?

# posted by douchebag1
11:34 am November, 8 fatness said...

Is this a group photo right before the bank robbery or is it merely a tee shirt modeling session gone woefully wrong?

11:35 am November, 8 creature said...

Chelsea Clinton has hit the skids

11:39 am November, 8 Nancy Dreuche said...

It’s like he’s holding her hostage with the hang loose hand gesture. That makes zero sense. Their Fever shirts do though. This place is a germaphobes nightmare.

11:50 am November, 8 Wedgie said...

His pinky is copping a feel. Which is the only part of him that makes any sense.

11:53 am November, 8 UFO Destroyers said...

I got a fever. A fever for more cowbell. Attached to a 1,700 pound angry bull. Chasing them around a Sunglass Hut. With frikking laser beams on its horns.

11:56 am November, 8 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Generic Ginger: not the fastest car in garage, but you can’t turn down a ride.
.
Tony invents a new move, the hang loose boob frotter. Watch for it on buses and subways this winter.

12:06 pm November, 8 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Jean Reno ditches Natalie Portman for Aurora Snow in the all porn remake of The Professional.

12:08 pm November, 8 Capt. James T. Douche said...

^wonder if she’ll make that quacking noise when she gags during deep throat scenes.

12:25 pm November, 8 Nancy Dreuche said...

@McCrudeshoes, when I first read that I thought you wrote Janet Reno. And then I thought, ew you could pay me to watch that.

12:28 pm November, 8 Hurl Scheibe said...

Infectious Diseases can cause fever.

Medical Fact

12:28 pm November, 8 Magnum Douch P.I. said...

Looks like Smirnoff is top shelf, making this the low rent, poor guido’s hang out.

12:36 pm November, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Spilvio Dante opens up the BADA-BONG in Secausus. Am I right Douchey Wallnuts?
.
Aurora Snow…porndog.

12:38 pm November, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m so tempted to post the second worst rock video ever, but I can’t.
.
Sopranos

12:46 pm November, 8 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Rev,
If you cared for us, you’d post the worst rock video over, and not give us second best.
.
Penultimatrix

1:40 pm November, 8 Nancy Dreuche said...

Yeah Rev, why are you bogarting the best/worst vid? Quit nigger lipping it and post it already. You’re such a woman with your teasing. Speaking of lady moves, how’s all of your emotional problems?

1:43 pm November, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Without further adieu, the worst rock video ever thunk.
.

1:53 pm November, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I don’t have problems Nancy. Just the fuccken pain in the extremities after all the shit I got off this year. Built in side-effects fuck off Pharma, I’ma comong at you bro. Booze, weed, neurotransmitter inhibitors, sleeping pills and NyQuil have me leading a fulfilling and pain-free life. The pink Zebra’s and Centaur’s that I visit for wisdom in the back garden tell me I should continue this therapy while the doctors bungle tests and speak in foreign languages setting up shop in third tier cities where the indigent dare not set out their shingle like so many chiropractics. I’m posting the second worst just to spite you Nancy Dreuche.

1:53 pm November, 8 Vin Douchal said...

He has the dull stare of a shark’s nictitating membranes. I bet he’d take any amount of money I’d pay him to fuck up one of my enemies. I’m good with that
.
She looks like a redhead-dyed Hillary Swank researching her next movie role in “Cocck Roller” as a loose moraled barmaid that fucks anything after consuming cheap vodka and taking her Pristiq© cut with a shnerter of cocaine while wielding a knife to cut off her bound and gagged lover’s balls post-coitus in a once-repressed/now-surfaced rage of revenge against the male gender caused by years of abuse from four different step-fathers.
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Coming to a theatre near you in Tru3D© Thanksgiving weekend
.
.
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Siskels

2:09 pm November, 8 Magnum Douch P.I. said...

yeah, that video sucked a bag of dicks.

and Nanc, “nigger lipping” ? Been a long long time since I heard that racially offensive one.

3:01 pm November, 8 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Rev, sounds like fun, well not really. You know I find pain to be a great motivator, it really is just weakness leaving the body. But do what you gotta do.
.
@Magnum PI, black dudes gots the best weed. FACT.

3:40 pm November, 8 Medusa Oblongata said...

UFO Destroyers @ 11:53 FTW.

6:37 pm November, 8 Stephanie said...

He gives a fever,and the doctor says I need medication,now.
He has a fever for the flavor of pringles. I don’t know,I’m really sick,so don’t expect much.

7:00 pm November, 8 troy tempest said...

His spleen is made of welded steel.

7:16 pm November, 8 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Stephanie, feel better soon.

10:05 pm November, 8 caleb said...

you people think that chick is hot?!

12:16 am November, 9 Nostradouchus said...

20 bucks says he doesn’t own a car…..

12:40 am November, 9 Jacques Doucheteau said...

He’s going about a teat punch all wrong.

12:50 am November, 9 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Followed by the GREATEST rock video ever thunk:
.


1:18 am November, 9 Jacques Doucheteau said...

For those of you too lazy to click on the link, I’ll summarize:
.
Lead singer flies in on a spaceship shaped like a blimp with two glowing testicles hanging off it, and shoots lasers from his hands to one by one create the other members of the band as each instrument comes in. The whole band is clad in leather, chains, mirrored sunglasses, long hair, scruffy unkempt 10 o’clock beards, and more man grease than you can shake a dick at.
.
You heard me.
.
The spaceship somehow transports them into an armored personnel carrier, which busts into a catholic school dormitory for girls. The lead singer, bare chested with a leather hat and some dead animal draped across his shoulders, shoots lasers from his eyes which set one of the girl’s (who are all 18 +/-) teddy bears on fire while she’s sucking on a tootsie pop.
.
Then the guitar solo kicks in. The guitarist starts rocking out, at which point he shoots lightning bolts from his guitar which turn all the schoolgirls into leather clad dancing sluts in ’80s fishnets.
.
Of course after much dancing and frolicing, the dormitory mothers come in to see what all the hubbub is about, right in the middle of the epic cowbell breakdown no less. The leads singer’s eyes glow red as he stares them down, and their heads fucking EXPLODE!!
.
The video culminates in a lot of sleazy sliming and self-chest rubbing during the chorus reprise, and at one point I think you can see one of the girls topless giving the drummer a blowjob while she’s getting dry humped doggy style by the guitarist.
.
Everyone is somehow transported back up into the blimp-testicle-spaceship, which fires off a laser blast that destroys the school where they just were, and flies off into the clouds as the song fades.

1:25 am November, 9 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Zodiac Mindwarp and the Love Reaction, bitches. They had a song featured on the Return of the Living Dead II soundtrack, I believe.

3:43 am November, 9 CB Popped said...

This guy’s/bouncer’s face looks just like Bert from Sesame Street.

http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Bert

6:57 am November, 9 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Tat and roided up Seth Rogan bag.

1:03 pm November, 9 Stephanie said...

Hydrocodone for everyone,for all of my friends…

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