Thursday, December 1, 2011

Average White Douchebag Is Way In Over His Head

Joey Kia is a stage-1. Just a pudly puddling.

A mish-mash of confused signifiers.

Rachel Hott is all that is pure of Norwegian Wood on a paid-to-pose professional level.

Together, they kill time on a Tuesday. While secretly hating their lives and cursing the God that never was.

Too depressing for a Thursday?

I’mma get a coffee.

# posted by douchebag1
9:31 am December, 1 SonnyChibaChoad said...

tongue looks like a dog’s pecker…
shocker..nuff said
his loin I mean lion is rampant for the bustier-hott.
Medusa: please apply trash can…

9:44 am December, 1 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She’s perty. I showed my dog this picture and even she has a boner.

9:44 am December, 1 Nancy Dreuche said...

“The Shocker” is back. It’s been so long I forgot what they looked like. Looks like Joey here is going for the covert Shocker that sort of looks like a peace sign and that’s what he’ll tell her if she asks what he’s doing. These douchebags are getting craftier. At least the retard tongue really let’s me know where his heads at.

9:51 am December, 1 tall guy said...

He’s one to watch. Sure he’s rockin’ a bunch of weirdly incompatible douchessories, but the eyes tell all. Well perhaps not all, but they tell me that there’s very little that’s average about him – aside from his below average natural state. Rachel hott is gnaw worthy in a Perrey Reeves kinda way.

9:52 am December, 1 Nancy Dreuche said...

Her pose is a little awkward. It’s like she’s she’s trying to make sure she gets the drink in the shot and form some cleave without looking like she’s forming some cleave. These bleeths are getting craftier. At least her forced smile tells me where her heads at.

9:57 am December, 1 Vin Douchal said...

She’s one of those chick bartenders that scrub the glasses in the sink in front of you while bending over and accentuating her boobiagge thinking it will garner better tips. It will.
.
Skippy here has no shot (double entendre, eh?)

10:21 am December, 1 tall guy said...

He could be a late running contender for 2011’s DHG ‘cept I done sent my homework in already.

Yo! DB1, you received it, yeah?

10:29 am December, 1 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Adam Sandler’s retarded cousin works as a bouncer on weekdays at The Tool Shed? Who knew? Rachel knows that she can control his spastic movements towards her and her bewbies just by pouring a shot of Corona with lemonade on his junk because he’ll keep trying to lick it off for the rest of the night.

10:30 am December, 1 Wedgie said...

^Yeah, Deebsy, how about a reply to my e-mail?

10:38 am December, 1 Nancy Dreuche said...

Guys, worry not. What DB1 lacks in common courtesy he makes up in common complacency. He’s a busy guy and were just here to provide the material so he doesn’t have to do anything. Typical boss really. We could always go on strike.

10:49 am December, 1 tall guy said...

It’s all good. My post post consideration led me to a similar conclusion, Dreuche. Mind you it compared to your scathing attack on our cherished leader only in a general way, but I’ll make allowances for you with your Kroeger issues and all…

10:49 am December, 1 Hurl Scheibe said...

She’s got a kind of Katie Holmes thing going on. And that moves me to attention at a 45 degree angle.

10:51 am December, 1 Hurl Scheibe said...

Was it really that simple, that Pythagoras deduced his therom simply by staring down at his erection?

10:58 am December, 1 Stephanie said...

She will put up with his antics for about another minute or two then,quickly move on to paying customers.

11:20 am December, 1 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Level 2 and rising. He has the shirt, the hand gesture, the matching bling on the wrist and around the neck, the forearm tatt and the contorted facial expression. Fuc that, he’s a full-blown level 3.
.
Rachel’s breasts and smile rock. And by that I mean I have a boner.

11:30 am December, 1 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

At first glance, I really thought this guy was retarded and it was pretty mean to be making fun, but then I saw the blingy fake gold bracelet / necklace (that are turning greener by the second) and the garish t-shirt and realized he was just a really awkward looking bagling and in need of a good mocking.
Her breasteses are serious works of art and in need of a good nuzzling.

11:36 am December, 1 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Douches will never tire of the shocker, its an immortal classic yet I seriously doubt there is a single douche alive today that has actually executed the move on a living, breathing woman. Looks like Katie Holmes snuck out Tom Crusie’s heavily fortified scientology protected compound for an evening of fun at, judging by the background is none other than The Cheesecake Factory.

11:42 am December, 1 Capt. James T. Douche said...

^out of Tom Cruises (uggg spelling and grammar)

11:59 am December, 1 DouchYouWannaDance said...

Really cute Hott, but a few more photos needed before rendering a verdict.

Anyone?

Please? 🙂

11:59 am December, 1 jonezy said...

new category?
.
Best smashed/squished natural boob
.
I’d karate kid practice all over those things- wax on/off – paint the fence- turgid salami slap – etc.

12:17 pm December, 1 CB Popped said...

Oh those naturals and how they move.

2:46 pm December, 1 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Rachel hott can hiss “don’t you fucking touch me” through clenched teeth while still almost smiling. And boobies.

6:12 pm December, 1 Nostradouchus said...

Sideways peace sign or shocker? Say hello to the peace shocker.

Shirt lion is going for boobies.

6:04 am December, 2 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I like her top.
.
Mostly because her right boob looks ready to pop out. Whoops.

6:31 am December, 2 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

There should be some nipple showing. I know I’m not the only one thinking it.

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