Best Golden Globes (Bracket #2)
Because one vote wasn’t enough to appreciate the mammtastic year we’ve had, here’s your second round.
Best Golden Globes Finalist #1 (Bracket #2): Tiny Dancer Maria
From mid-November, Fratpud Juan simply doesn’t deserve this.
Tiny Dancer Maria is all that is golden about globedom.
I drink of her perktactiums, and beg for a powder in the green room.
I have no idea what that means.
Boobs.
Boobies.
Boobs.
Boobies.
Boobs.
Boobies.
Boobs.
Boobies.
Best Golden Globes Finalist #2 (Bracket #2): Asian Melons
From late October, these soft, pillowy mamms offer respite from a cold and harsh universe.
Boobs.
Boobies.
Boobs.
Boobies.
Boobs.
Boobies.
Boobs.
Boobies.
gazangas.
bazzzzzooooooooooooooogas.
I poke them softly with a feather and a spork.
Best Golden Globes Finalist #3 (Bracket #2): Melanie
From back in February’s Winged Shirts and Melon Salutations.
Melanie’s Melons are so strong of curvature, they’re one of the few to ever make the finals in this category without any major skin reveal.
Enhanced? Perhaps. Unsure. Unsure of myself. Unsure of anything you’re saying.
Gaghhrrrrghhhhhhh…..
Boobs.
Boobies.
Boobs.
Boobies.
Boobs.
Boobies.
Boobs.
Boobies.
Best Golden Globes Finalist #4 (Bracket #2): Gesthemane Boobies
From May’s Bird Poo on a Shirt, the consensus in the thread was fake, but I think real is also a possibility. Either way, they are firm and succulent and shine with Holy Cleavite. And so they are in the finals.
Boobs.
Boobies.
Boobs.
Boobies.
Boobs.
Boobies.
Boobs.
Boobies.
Honorable mention to the rest who deserve recognition, including The Holy Breasteses of Avalon, Female Ubergnaw, Grampa Joel’s niece Kelly, and The Jordanbag’s Heather.
Vote, as always, in the comments thread.
Asian Melons. I would pile sushi on her bare boobies like in those fancy Japanese restaurants. Then I would throw the sushi on the floor and succle on them tittays like a Shiba Inu puppy with a tapeworm.
Maria is why I’m OK with Conquistadors inflicting genocide on the native of America to clear the path for her supple breasts to one day find themselves here in our country.
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For me to ogle.
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And fwap to
I’m looking at his shorts. I imagine those are most appropriate, as, thanks to her, his crotch is The Land OF The Rising Sun.
Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer.
Tiny Dancer for the spin.
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Yes, @Findertweet. Elton John would go straight for those.
Asian melons!!! Xie Xie for the tittays!!
Tiny Dancer Maria. Sidenote- Gethsemane should be a lead in for new category Navelliest Navel. That thing is big enough to store spare snow tires in.
The gravitational pull of Gesthemane globes is strong, and pulls the barely-there boobies of her bestie Brittany into their orbit…but sadly fail to pull my vote.
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.Asian Melons are too obviously fake, and Melanie too much of a butterface to attract my crucial attention. And by “crucial attention” I mean getting Mr. Happy to come to or pay some.
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.That leaves Tiny Dancer Maria…who looks like she would happily accept my man missile between her mamms….twice.
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Maria FTW
That leaves
Asian Melons looks too much like corporal Klinger from M*A*S*H*
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Melanie’s I.Q. and bad breath remind me of a golden retriever I had realations with.
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Gesthemane’s boobs are abnormally swolen because she’s so hammered.
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I vote for Tiny Dancer’s “headlights on the highway.”
^BTW, I count 2
I sure hope there’s a third bracket becuase I don’t see Hot Mom Carol anywhere
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Tiny Dancer Maria FTW . She’s got a look that could carry her through the managment program at Enterprise Rent A Car. In other words, one of the Taylor heirs would knock her up and she’d get a share of the fortune. Good on you , girl
First of all, let me say that only having two rounds of this category is woefully inadequate. You lazy bastages, make an effort.
That said, I must vote for Maria. I have a weakness for the spinners.
@Rev, thanks for the spin last post; that tune brings a tear to my old eyes. And seeing Siouxsie & Co. from ’83 reminds me of, reminds me of……well hell, I can’t remember one fuccen thing from that year. It was a blur of coke, tequila & sex. Too bad someone stole my parachute pants, bitches.
BTW, if you would’ve put Grampa’s niece Kelly in this or any bracket, she would get my vote.
Which just proves the point above.
You lactose-intolerant panty waists.
Tiny Dancer Maria
Fwap. Fwap. Fwapfwap. Fwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwap Fwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwap.
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FwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapFwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwap Fwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwap.Fwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwap Tiny Dancer Fwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwap.
Tiny Dancer Maria FTW. She has a raging Mayan Eye of Coitus going on in that picture and is posed like a statue of Shiva and, there’s no need for me to lie, there’s something about a rack like that on a little frame that just slays me. And many thanks to Fratpud Juan for the point, as if my eye needed help finding something to look at in that photo.
Mamm’selle Tiny Dancer Maria FTW and for extensive Motorboatage.
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Mother Udders
I think Im seeing more naturals here – but Im in no position to confirm it. Im actually moments away from Scrotato’s actions.
We are all winners here. Even hot Mom Carol has wonderful naturals. Tks VinD.
Personally – I would pull open that zipper Melanie is wearing and motorboat her from head to toe. After luring her away from the Belorussian DB of course.
However, the category is Best Globes, and it has to go with our Tiny Dancer. They look real and DD – ish.
Not for nothing, but do y’all realize there are16 pages of Fish Slap in the Hall Of Scrote?
Don’t get me wrong, Gesthemane’s amazingly hot, but I just can’t look at that picture without thinking she’s about to shoot a pingpong ball out of her navel into that ubiquitous clear cup.
Looks like a landslide (in my shorts. Or something).
Tiny Dancer Maria.
Tiny dancer looks like she’s paralyzed, but nice boobs FTW.
And Asian Melons may be in season this time of year, but sh’e holding onto American Chumpa waaaaaay to affectionately for me to cast a vote her way.
Tiny Dancer Maria, for being both Tiny and Huge at the same time.
Tiny Dancer Maria
this is a tough one. my hip-shot reaction fires towards Asian Melons (ALWAYS in season, I might add). but as I take it all in… AM has what I hope is a promise ring (in that he got her to promise not to sleep around while he does) from that toolbag with the Anheuser-Busch logo on his chest.
dammit, she just fell hard a few notches.
I agree with Mr. Scotato Head: as much as I adore Asian Melon’s amazing melons (fake or not, who cares!) and adorable dimples, I have to give it to Tiny Maria simply on douchey-borfriend principle. had this been for Golden Globes + Douchfiance, she’d be an easy shoe-in for the award.
Hold me closer…!Please hold me closer…!
@Vin
If anyone else had made that Fish Slap comment in the middle of a boobies thread, I would call homo. You get a kitchen pass due to your extensive body of work in prior threads. And by body of work, I mean Barstool Sports.
BTW, your girl Erin Andrews just filed a $10 million lawsuit against Marriott Hotels ’cause some guy saw her naked there.
Shit, if I had a dollar for every time someone saw me jay naked and dick down in Pacific Beach back in the day, I’d be retired already.
My G-Money is on Titties #4 again.
And these should be called Rack-its or Bracktits instead of Brackets. Come on people, why am I the first one to come up with that. Get your shit together.
Gesthemane FTW. Just her pose alone gives me Brazilian Walnut Wood.
Maria in a mamslide, although if I lived my values it would be Asian Melons. What can I say, I’m torn…and turgid
Maria FTW…Asian’s are probably enhanced (and uneven), all #3 was put on a nice funbag holster, and #4 just ain’t doin’ in for me. If you’re going to have nice boobs, don’t strap ’em back, #4…let ’em get some sun.
#3 *did* was, I mean…
Tiny Dancer brings me back to my roots. By roots I mean I mean pubes. And by pubes I mean they fell off as I got older. So since Tiny is a Spanish/Indigenous she only aspires to one thing in life. The thing is to have a song named after her. And ny mane I mean her birth month. I mean late funk.early disco. And by pubes, Spanish, LFED I can only mean the one the only Earth, Wind, and Fire coming at us live from the World Environmental Summit in Durban, South Africa.
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Tiny Dancer Maria
@Rev, nice jam. I’m gonna have to add Earth Wind and Fire to my LadyBoner Jams 2012 Playlist I’ve made myself on Slacker radio. Maybe you could spin this DJ thing into a real thing. You got an Elk’s Club up there you can play at?
#1.
Gotta go with #2…Asian melons. However, may I propose a second category for Gesthemane: “Best Gap Between the Legs While Kneeling”. I think she would win hands down.
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Looking at the nominees, I realize how hard this category is going to be…but don’t let that stop you from keeping them coming DB1.
Tiny Dancer for a Huge Boner! No. Wait! I meant win! Tiny Dancer for a HUUGE WIN!!
And let me just add, this is a day that will live in infamy!! If Tiny Dancer is not picked for the win!
^Too soon FDR, too damn soon.
I meant FDD, but the message remains the same.
While Gesthemane boobies are really nice (and features HCWDB legend He just bangs bitches and drinks), I’ll go with tiny dancer Maria because boobies.
DJ Revvie-Rev doing a fine job. Last time I heard EWF I was wearing Angel Flights.
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Tony Manero’s
What Findertweet said. Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer.
Hold my head close tiny dancer,
Let me motorboat those funbags,
That’s all I got… besides a woody from her mamamamamries.
Yep, Maria FTW.
Gesthemane’s boobies look like they need to be released from their straps, and they get my vote FTW.
Easier than bracket 1 – Tiny Dancer
Now can somebody please refresh me (Full disclosure: I’m going to use your answer for hate fuck material.) Does the winner of Bracket 1 and the winner of Bracket 2, face off in a Boober Bowl at the end Douchies? Last year is kind of a blur on account I was mainlining Cheetos.
Tiny Dancer gives big wood. FTW.
Perhaps they’re pursuing the Ameri-Can League Pendulant. Competing for the Stan-D Cup Championship? Worl-D Cup? Olympeak Gold? The Highsmam Trophy?
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Is it bad that I can’t uncurl my right fingers and my right elbow is thicker than my thigh?
I’d be happy takin’ turns dancin’ with Maria as the band played “Night of the Johnstown Flood”.
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But that wet chick gives me a boner every time.
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“The boner wants what the boner wants.” – “Woody” Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Gesthemane Boobies FTW
Tiny Dancer should win this race, cuz me’s suspectin’ she’s a descendant of that great racehorse Native Dancer, who has sired, grand-sired and great-grandsired many a winner. And the Natives are restless here at HcwDB and desire a true win in the BOOBS category.
Tiny Dancer Maria. I’m all out of clean socks because of that picture.
Asian Melons are in season any time, anywhere. They are natural, wholesome, and great for motorboating.
Even though I’m not into breasts…Asian Melons. Too bad the guy next to her can’t even crack a smile,he’s a doofus.
It came down to the wire between Asian Melons and TIny Dancer for me. Tiny Dancer isn’t to be overlooked as she’s in that stage of her life when she’s the hottest and probably the most approachable. But Asian Melons is my final choice. Why? She’s got the type of face I’d like to see in that contorted orgasm look. Yeah, anyway…
So to confirm, Asian Melons FTW!
Asian Melons, a fine pair of melons indeed.
Tiny Dancer Maria. At least who I think it is in the first picture. It is hard to tell through all the white stains on the computer monitor.
Wait a minute.
Oh fudge.
I was….uh…..painting. Yes. Plain white paint. That’s what it is. White paint.
Asian
Melons.
Tiny Dancer outclasses them all
I stink it will be Tiny picante Maria over Stephanie in the final. Mang.
I stink.
One more for Tiny Dancer Maria.
Asian Melons.
We got an early act gettin ready on the L.A. stage and by early I mean I’ve got to go to the chiropractor and druggist. And by druggist, I mean Lenny.
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And by Tower of Power I don’t mean Oprah’s fart bassoon.
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^One of my favorite bands. For a guy who spends most of his days wasted, you are surprisingly lucid when it comes to music.
Asian Mellons puts the Ho in Me So Horny.
I’ll take the sushi on her boobies for the win.
With a little Yellowtail for the bonus!!
Tiny Dancer Maria FTW. WOW!
Asian Melons FTW and by FTW I mean For The Wank.
Tiny Dancer #1, please.
Gesthemane ftw because bleethy, drunk and wet is a great way to live in Vegas until you turn 30.
I have to pick one? dammit.
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*fawp*fawp*fawp*
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Tiny Dancer Maria FTW. ’cause I don’t need a douchebag to point the way.
Gesthemane
Gesthemane – the way she is posing makes me horny.
Tiny Dancer. Perfect shape, tautness, bustling with natural fertility. If they’re fake, that’s one hell of a surgeon. Which means her dad’s loaded.
Gesthemane Boobies, because you can tell those chicks like to party.
If I was stuck on a desert island, and had only one photo of one of these sets to look at all, only one set to remind me of the glory of boobs, which set would I want to stare at all day?
Tiny Dancer FTW
*day, look at all day. Proof read you ass…
Maria, full of grace. or something.
I haven’t voted on this one yet. What’s wrong with that? Yikes! So, I’ll take Asian Melons for the sake of it.
Put on some leather, Maria,
And don’t dress like my wife,
Cuz that bitch won’t be comin’ home,
I’m a pro with a knife.
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Just trying to get away from the Tiny Dancer motif . . .
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Tiny Dancer Maria for the feel-cop.
oh maria!
MILFy Melanie, because I can be sure they’re natural and I suspect they have the highest boob:nip ratio.
the GF and i concur–dancer Maria. Now i’m going to go play with my GF while continuing to contemplate my decision. And by “my GF” I mean her boobs. And by contemplate, i mean think about the contestants.
Gesthemane Boobies because I’m religious like that.