Monday, December 19, 2011

Hottest Hott of the Year #1: Sucklechomp Amanda

Chalk up a victory for the purity of a great smile, an angelic, innocent glow, and glammy gnobs of fondle boob spectacularity.

From back in August, we debated whether Sunset Dusty was a ‘Bag/Nottabag.

But we did not debate the Sucklechomp Purity of Amanda.

For hers are gloriousness in strangely silver forearm bracelet perfection.

A barely legal vision of a better tomorrow, a more hopeful future, and viable wombs to preserve the human race when the ninja robot war begins.

# posted by douchebag1
6:54 am December, 19 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

“Well, at least he’s wearing a tie,” my 87 year old mother would probably say. “That shows he’s probably not as big a douchebag as the other slimebuckets on this site.
.
.(The Old Choad doesn’t know about your parental units, but his have always tossed around words like “asshat,” “pudwacks,” “jerkoffs,” and “douchebags”….true fact.)
.
.My dearly deceased dad (and his extremely extant male offspring) wish she were wearing nothing at all.

7:29 am December, 19 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Amen. I do wish we had an update on Dusty- I suspect he is in the middle of an endeavor that involves, grease, paper cups and ordering by number while Amanda has moved on to her junior year and the lap of a really cool psych professor

7:38 am December, 19 Wedgie said...

Could also potentially be the most expensive first date hottie.
She reminds me of a girl I knew in college with the same name.
Her nickname was Demanda.

7:53 am December, 19 Et Tu Douche? said...

I like the speck of black bra reveal as it draws me right into staring at her glorious rack.

8:00 am December, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She’s more than ayight And big horns on her. Merry Christmas Amanda and boobs.
.
As the Douchies of 2011 come to a close I feel that it is my responsibility as Soundtrack Producer to lighten things up after the preceding day’s drunken lighthearted and wrongly perceived racism and misogyny.
.
I’m not a cad but patriot and supporter of all things feminine and colorful. Tanned girls, light girls, and those blessed with Mother Nature’s permanent melanin richness. The last act before the Douchie’s finale is a whole bunch of sistahood.
.
Don’t watch this if you are too stoned or hate flutes.
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W35wtfcByIY

8:22 am December, 19 tall guy said...

Despite several of her bits being as phoney as a 3 dollar bill she’s a deserving winner. And with Dreuche’s fantasy hook-up in the picture it’s win-win. Something tells me she wouldn’t go the distance and in a few years would do a good impression of a dirty blond with a fat arse whose tits sag down to her naval. Meanwhile, I was thinking…

8:25 am December, 19 Douchble Helix said...

Stop the presses! New candidate for librarian hott: http://content.usatoday.com/communities/entertainment/post/2011/12/ap-picks-its-entertainer-of-the-year/1

8:37 am December, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Thanks for the image DH. But this next surprise act has pyjamas, a really stoned drummer, and several burnt septums.
.
Racists
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=py3w5fttedA

8:54 am December, 19 Mandouchian Candidate said...

They use Lady Gaga’s vaginal discharge to take paint off of military transport vehicles. She is awful. @Rev- I missed out on your racism, dammit. I went a whole weekend with no Computer or Cell phone at a “retreat” (bender) but I am glad you came n here and acknowledged your missteps, rather than tweeting it like all the other A listers do.

9:00 am December, 19 Nancy Dreuche said...

@ tall guy, I just said he was easy on the eyes. Jesus H. I make one little comment about the attractiveness of a dude on here and you go all Helena Bonham Carter-shit on me.
@Rev, from previous thread, great Neil Diamond pick to start off this Monday. His red jumpsuit years are my favorite.
@DH, damn with the glasses on GaGa is gonna be the queen of the straight guys as well. Smart business woman.
@Amanda, Congrats on your win. I hope it doesn’t bother you that dudes are jerking it to your cans on the web. And if it does um I don’t know what to tell you. Good luck out there.

9:04 am December, 19 CB Popped said...

I do believe thats a very young Robert Fripp on the black Les Paul in the Genesis vid.

Im stoned Rev, only enhancing the experience. Seeing Phil Collins with all that hair is worth it alone.

Amanda is very hot and deserves it. Those look like giant naturals due to the side fat (I checked with actual live. females) and her face is par exellence. I also feel she would be really hot not dying her hair and going with her natural dirty blonde.

9:09 am December, 19 DarkSock said...

…viable wombs to preserve the human race …
.
.
Does the word “vi” equal “fuck”?
.
Because I’d stick my pee-pee in her tooter until it peed mayonnaise. In a manner of a gentleman, as befitting a lady, of course.

9:11 am December, 19 DarkSock said...

Even if she does look like Benjamin Bratt in the face a little…
rrg
fwe

9:28 am December, 19 Geoffrey said...

Dusty and Amanda checked in
http://tinyurl.com/3n5a3hg

9:28 am December, 19 Charles Douchewin said...

^ Darksock
.
I was going to respond to your Bratt similarity by posting the Emma Watson / Richard Dawkins image. Could you please post it – for the cognoscenti here who may not have seen it.
.
****EDIT: You got it, Charles D.! Enjoy…****

qewr
.
errere

9:28 am December, 19 Justin said...

She has no upper lip.

Boooo.

Nice boobies, though.

9:32 am December, 19 Vin Douchal said...

RE: Early Genesis . Good stuff Rev, really high quality video/audio
.
The early Prog Rock bands had great Keys/Guitar combos, not unlike a sports teams’ one-two punch. Manny-Ortiz, Ruth- Gehrig, Montana-Rice, Magic-Kareem.
.
This Genesis line up is Steve Hackett and Tony Banks rivals of the day to the likes of Rick Wakeman-Steve Howe, RIchard Wright-Dave Gilmour, Jan Hammer-Jeff Beck, Keith Emerson-Greg Lake, George Duke-Frank Zappa to name a few early pioneers.
.
Semi-obscure in their day was the high difficulty factor playing of Gentle Giant. Kerry Minnear and Gary Green added punch to the Schumlan Brothers’ odd Mideaevil and Baroque leanings, which on electric instruments played by incredible virtuosos was really fuccen cool:
.

9:39 am December, 19 Douchble Helix said...

All future Canadian videos posted here must include at least one keytar.

10:12 am December, 19 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Another link in chain of the fake-titted blonde conspiracy. Amanda is 900 days, max, from being a mini-van driving soccer mom, and she looks the part. Sure, she’ll still have great tits on top of the mom jeans and glutial spreadation that will make continental drift look minor in comparison. I hope that’s of great consolation to the used car salesperson / insurance agent that marries her and begins charging her baby cannon.

11:35 am December, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I’m with Dude McCrude. She is cute now but the clock is ticking loudly down to the day when she’s just another top-heavy soccer mom who tries desperately to hold on to her youth-based good looks.

11:47 am December, 19 hermit said...

C’mon ^ Dude Mc and D.W. You have to live for the here and now.
.
.
.
Zen Masters

12:17 pm December, 19 troy tempest said...

CB Popped – that’s not Robert Fripp – that’s Steve Hackett.
.
@Vin – yeah – Gentle giant fucking RULED. But Playing the Game is one of their easiest tracks (I know – I was in a prog rock band and we covered a bunch of their stuff). You want difficult? Try this:
So Sincere:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIaG8a9ACYY

or this:
Knots:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mI8dBOIuG9I

but for real scary stuff, there’s
Univers Zero:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vwjce5wcu4Y

or Henry Cow
Living in the Heart of the Beast
pt1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tl3AXgyzYgs
pt2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EskFhrd1NCQ
pt3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdCAz7sQo3g

(full disclosure – I’ve had a crush on Dagmar Krause for decades, and the bass player, Georgina Borne is *freakin HOTT* and a bit of a genius – she’s written some great books on ethnomusicology and works as a prof in the UK.)

Dagmar’s voice is in my head with this:
Now is the time to begin to go forward – advance from despair,
the darkness of solitary men – who are chained in a market they
cannot control – in the name of a freedom that hangs like a pall
on our cities. And their towers of silence we shall destroy.

Now is the time to begin to determine directions, refuse to admit
the existence of destiny’s rule. We shall seize from all heroes and
merchants our labour, our lives, and our practice of history : this,
our choice, defines the truth of all that we do.

Seize on the words that oppose us with alien force; they’re enslaved
by the power of capital’s kings who reduce them to coinage and
hollow exchange in the struggle to hold us, they’re bitterly
outlasting… Time to sweep them down from power
– deeds renew words.

Dare to take sides in the fight for freedom that is common cause
let us All be as strong and as resolute. We’re in the midst of
a universe turning in turmoil; of classes and armies of thought
making war – their contradictions clash and echo through time.

12:17 pm December, 19 Douchial Webster said...

@ Geoffrey – you MUST post more photos of them!

12:18 pm December, 19 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Hermit, Living in the here and now has gotten me in more trouble then I care to remember. I prefer to teach a longer term philosophy to young douchelings, particularly my rabid and unreasonable belief that lithe and svelte is less showy, but more sustainable than inflati-bleethism.
.
And forget not that Zen philosophy is indo-chinese in origin. So lusting after petite quartasians is as Zen as it gets.

12:25 pm December, 19 Geoffrey said...

Upon your request, Douchial Webster

http://tinyurl.com/3c2yyk6

http://tinyurl.com/7pee7ar

12:27 pm December, 19 Geoffrey said...

…and since I know you will not be satisfied with only those two fotos here is one more.

good day,
http://tinyurl.com/3mcxysb

12:56 pm December, 19 Douchial Webster said...

@ Geoffrey – you’re my hero. She truly deserves her HHoY award. And I think he gets a NOTTA.

1:06 pm December, 19 tall guy said...

Shit! Such a difference between the winning photo and the others posted my Geoffrey. So much so that I retract my earlier comments (yes, including my comment about you, Dreuche – in fact, I’ll even apologise If I offended you). Amanda is smoking!

1:09 pm December, 19 Charles Douchewin said...

Thanks DarkSock!

Also, I’d like to support DW’s NOTTA nod to Geoffrey.

@ Geoffrey – good show of good humor.

2:50 pm December, 19 CB Popped said...

Thks TTempest….damn straight.

Those guitarists were so underrated, etc.

3:43 pm December, 19 Champagne Katie's Paralegal's Parking Attendant said...

We wuz robbed! A girl writes one drunken text, and you never let her forget it. Still, Amanda…Mmmm

9:28 pm December, 19 Stephanie said...

At least she has clothes on and looks somewhat normal,and nice.Most of the girls posted on here think they have to shake their bikini clad ass to get anyone to like them. It’s sad,really.

Girlpower.

2:45 am December, 20 Douchble Helix said...

Whoa! This isn’t some feminine sensitivity website. I happen to *like* the womens who shake their bikini clad ass to get everyone to like them.
.
Take that shit to Oprah’s website or someplace, where it belongs.

4:26 am December, 20 Douchble Helix said...

Geoffrey – did they take a photographer with them on their vacay?

2:47 pm December, 20 Stephanie said...

What,you don’t get excited by a women with clothes on,with a great body,and a plunging neckline?
Amanda is a classy women,and I’m not going to Oprah,she doesn’t speak for me or all women. Oprah is out of touch touch,ie RICH and out of touch with most real women.
You just need a few women on this site to balance things,or you’ll all go homo on each other. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

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