Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Most Annoying Rockerbag: Pukey Bowie

CB Popped hands out the award:

————
His hot could be a little hotter, but is there any question about the societal loss that Pukey Bowie personifies?

His douchal purity rating goes off the chart as we count the numerous signifiers; Sunglasses inside a club, skanky lip ring, hat tilt, mandanna, retro denim self styled wristband, too many bracelets, dildonic facial expression, dogtags, and the unidentifiable substance clinging to his middle finger – which of course – is flipping the bird.

I can’t make out what the hat actually says, otherwise that would surely be another one.

The more I look at the blond here, the more I think her smirk reveals her own mock for the fungus that is clinging to her. The more I observe Pukey, the more nauseous I get.

Pukey – don’t give us the finger as you double fist cheap vodka, or we will pull the tongue right out of your head. Furthermore, dont wear the retro David Bowie button – we severely doubt you know anything other than Ziggy Stardust, if that.

Its a tough category – Toxic Terry was in the hunt as was the hotdog water smelling Band Promoter Petey.

Both certainly pulled the hots while displaying numerous Douche signifiers, but in the end Pukey wins (loses) in a No – Brainer contest as the Most Annoying Rockerbag this year.

The picture says a thousand words, all of them negative.
—–

# posted by douchebag1
4:45 pm December, 14 Et Tu Douche? said...

Good take down CB Popped, Pukey Bowie is such a poseur faux rawker wannabe it’s pathetic, but what really gets me is that I still think Hott Jenn is grabbing his rope.

4:49 pm December, 14 Et Tu Douche? said...

^ Forgot to mention his putrid tongue fungi

4:57 pm December, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Why aren’t you “Collarz Be Popped” any more? Were you sued by Cam, the left handed Jew Lawyer, for copyright infringment?
.
Pukey Bowie is a tool . Good call. Pretty sure his little side kick out of the frame looks like a barbituate addled Garth Algar, right down to the two pubes: “Fred” and”Tony”
.
.
Check out this kid, Ben Lapps. This stopped me in my tracks today:
.

4:58 pm December, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Hot Roadie alert at 0:18 ^

5:26 pm December, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Pukie was disgusting. And by disgusting I mean he’s not with this drunk ready to fuck young Ellen Barkin/Kate Hudson asymmetrical faced perfect drunk fuck while you’re out of town chick. He has the Mayan Tongue Of Homoerotic Wayne’s World Shitty Cocck Tongue Good choice CBP!
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But she looks like she could strip like a porn star needing a new boob job. And by boob jon I mean the one and only Scotsman in Dublin singing about strippers. Chris DeBergh?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHmL1eQHC3Y
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Technology is evil.

5:42 pm December, 14 Wedgie said...

Rev, you know there are no strippers named fuccen Patricia. Even in Dublin.
All three entrants in this category could have won it. Great job, C.B. But I disagree with you about Jenn not being a hottie. She’s lit, horny and good to go. And that makes her a 10 in my book. Don’t be so picky.

5:46 pm December, 14 hermit said...

Excellent choice C.B.
.
.His hat says “caution: barbed penis” in Latin.

5:46 pm December, 14 Mr. Biggs said...

The hat says Rock Clasick.
I believe the shirt says Adicts.
The face says mindless zombie – fire at will.

6:01 pm December, 14 Nancy Dreuche said...

He had me at little sister’s jean wrist band. And by had me I mean had me puking. If this is his way of rockin out with his cock out he out to keep his schmega covered finger to himself. Dick cheese is not on my list of acceptable hours de ouvres.

6:02 pm December, 14 Nancy Dreuche said...

And great mock up, Cizzle B. Pizzled, New York’s finest baghunter.

6:07 pm December, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m as drunnk as funk. Tomorrow is Irish day leading to grand final Friday. In case I don’t get to startt it on time I post the first somg of tomorrow. A really fucking depressing song by Mrs. Kroeger Unmasked. The sweet Miranda Kroeger also known by her stage name gicing us a good rimming on the fiddle back when she was a musician. The girl with the red hair may or may not be her. The drummer is probably not me. The singer is a prick. But maybe he doesn’y sing in this tome. Fukcer.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fg-eXN8uxoU
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Fuccen Canadians

6:37 pm December, 14 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“The picture says a thousand words, all of them negative.” This is one of the best lines of this year’s Doucheys. Bravo.

7:24 pm December, 14 CBP said...

Pukey’s yellowed, anemic tongue should be removed by Hermit donning a Hazmat suit and needle nose pliers. FTW.

Thanx Y’all.

7:26 pm December, 14 Lord Whac-a-douche said...

Godammit, I had my money on homeless Phil Collins

8:13 pm December, 14 CBP said...

I may have overlooked the fact that she is displaying possible Coitus Eye and has natural breasts…..fwappidy.

8:23 pm December, 14 Douche Springsteen said...

I’d like to firmly place one hand atop his head and use my other hand to swiftly and forcefully snap his lower jaw shut, in the process severing his hideous tongue, then do my best Bluto Blutarsky impression and casually shrug and say “sorry”.

8:35 pm December, 14 Vin Douchal said...

@ Rev 6:07
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By “probably not me” you mean it’s you, right?
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Traditional grip, nice

9:43 pm December, 14 Medusa Oblongata said...

He’s got for real cauliflower ear.

10:05 pm December, 14 troy tempest said...

@Rev –
This is my kind of fiddle work:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_u6OFTZCRAY

I wonder what mrs K thinks of it.

3:00 am December, 15 tall guy said...

From memory I think I already expressed my disapproval of this deb when she came out. It’s not that she’s ugly, but something about the smarmy look she’s pulling annoys the shit out of me. Nice write up, CB Popped. I especially enjoyed the description ‘dildonic facial expression’. Something makes me think Pukey Bowie has an exclusive on this. Altogether a top read, matey!

4:55 am December, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I love the way the Roadie Hott handles the cord, and by that I mean I have an erection bordering on a priapism.
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Stage Hands

7:04 am December, 15 CBP said...

I tried to utilize some of the hilarious vernacular I picked up from my Senior Baghunters,,,,,

Dildonic was coined by DarkSock. Somewhere in the UK/Australia, there has to be a punk band calling themselves “The Dildonics”…there just has to be.
Paying homage to “The Plasmatics” of course.

Douchal Purity courtesy of Medusa. etc. We could use a page for the new vocabulary created by this site,,,,I’m still unsure what Nepos means.

Ben Lapps has some exellent bass-conga drum, slap – tap technique on an acoustic, no doubt.

Stagehand brunette is interesting. However, I dont think she is working hard enough. 😉

11:02 am December, 15 DarkSock said...

I would add to DouchyWalnut’s kudos these two terms, which also should be added to any HCwDB Douchal Lexicon that was mentioned yesterday:
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“…hotdog water smelling…”
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“…we will pull the tongue right out of your head…”
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Still giggling at those like Sandusky at a cub scout meeting; fine stuff CBP.

1:34 pm December, 15 Stephanie said...

My feeling is that it’s really bad taste funny and not funny about the Sandusky jokes. It’s awful sad stuff. Innocent kids didn’t ask for that. I don’t like picking on kids. But then there’s Pukey Bowie…he deserves it.
Pukey Bowie is a shitbird.

1:53 am December, 16 Whoop-di-douche said...

Pukey Bowie is fingering
a) a Mississippi cotton boll
b) a Reddi-Whip pie topper
c) a cum-as-you-are-party admission ticket
d) rockerbag earwax

5:29 am December, 16 CB Popped said...

^DarkSock, thanks so much.

However, the “Hotdog water smelling” line was from Medusa – our silk and ambrosia adorned, side show Bob hairstyled Baghuntress.

Homage.

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