Thursday, December 29, 2011
Mr. Boatbagus Flexes Douchily
For Mr. Boatbagus, Jesus bling and douchepose bring out even more of the hottest 19 year olds from the greater Wisconsin area.
Proving yet again, that even heaping greased up shoescrapes can draw a flock of giggle hott if they own a boat and a cooler of Bud Light Lime.
Minxy Laura grooves with taut back arch, and the pelicans of my mind swoon like candlewax.
My pelicans have giant mouthfulls of disgusting chewed up fish. Gentile Natalie Portman is a little Zaftig in a boobie way.
.
.
Boobie
I see we’re gearing up for the 2012 Douchies already. Go back to Amhurst Mr. Boat Bagus, and take your bikini clad hotties with you! No…wait.
.
Leave them here (tapping fingertips together rhythmically and squinting eyes).
It looks like a Russian Mail Order Bride convention.
With the Douchies still fresh in the mind collective, Boatbag here is putting in a hard dib to go wire-to-wire.
.
.
Companions.
Some of the hotts are wearing elaborate jewelry, which leads me to believe, thus is orchestrated paid to posery and not heading out in the open seas with Capt. Lubing. In fact, all of their hairs are nicely coiffed, another sign that none of them plan on swimming. So why the bikinis? Photoshoot for this idiots album cover. Now I have been wrong before, but it really is quite rare. Also I’ve been watching the Sherlock series in BBC so I’m picking up a few things. You know aside from every girl’s dream of being tag teamed by Dr. Watson and Sherlock. Not the Basil Rathbone version though, gross.
Damn; she looks less gentile and less Natalie and less Portman here.
.
But I’d still let her Basil my Wrathbone.
.
.
.
Sleuths.
Bagus is clearly too awesome for me to understand what’s happening in this pic, but I’d be more than happy to plug girl-on-left’s leak. See, she’s giggling like “omg! I’m leaking! Weeeee!!”
.
.
Floaters
I’d also tidy up her exposed bikini tan line.
.
.
Crotchless
This guy started a new trend 45 minutes ago called pejazzling.
.
It’s photographical fact. http://www.unicornbooty.com/blog/2011/05/19/vagazzle-launches-penis-bedazzling-pejazzle/
.
Sick American Pigdogs
heck, I’d torpedo their holds below decks
A-Hum. I think it was censored cause Db1 ( capitalized for respect) has blocked my porn webhole. Anyhoo, it was a picture of a tanned gay with a pejazzled thing.
.
Rolling Timers
Looks like “personal watercraft” on a trailer in the picture and they better shoot the pictures fast ‘coz the repo man is about to arrive.
I call paid-to-pose hotts. Sure, no high heels, which is always the telltale sign, but extra time spent on morning ritual evident. Milky white skinned-ankle tatt hott still pick-o-litter. Snake tatt wanker still punch worthy.
@RevChad, posting pictures of weenus, its finally happened you’re finally catering to my visual needs. I always felt like the odd woman out here. Vajayjay this, boobie suckle that, porch beef this, underboob that. I just felt left out is all. Well not anymore. Even though you’re copy and pasting skills are fubar it is the peendazzling thought that counts. And DB1 should appreciate the fact that you’re trying to make this place more inviting to the ladies. I mean the goal of the site is to educate the ladies of the dangers of dating a douchebag so….if there are no peen loving ladies on here its um…how do you say “homoerotic circle jerk” in French? I look forward to more peen pictures in the future. Here and in general. I have a feeling 2012 is going to be my year.
REV: Thankfully DB1 put the block up cause I always click a REV Link and really don’t need to see any of that.
I’ll agree these girls look paid to pose. Boatbagus rolled his Hummer (leased and three months behind in payments) through the lot of the Oshkosh Mall and grabbed up the hottest things he could find and sold them on the concept of his new music video: Bitches, Buds (light lime) and Boats, Yo !
Rev, please post links of bejazzled vajayjays only. No one needs to see your blinged out mini-gerkin.
Fuccen Canadians.
Japanese pron has vayjay/peen bloocked in some kind of pixelatio. It looked pretty silly to me, the one time I looked at J-pron.
.
.
V for Vengina
the brunette on the left is the ideal candidate for completely random lottery ticket sex with someone you never speak to, or look for again, until years later you get roped into travelling on business to a town where the nicest hotel is the hampton inn, and you turn on the tv to the local news to try to figure out which parts of town you should avoid after dark, and you see you one time totally dirty skank doing weather and consumer tips features.
you are already freeing yourself of business attire, you your travel cramped package in your hand as you see her on screen for the first time, the relief is palpable and the boys need to air out a bit so you lay back on the bed,and try to figure out where the tv news folks might go for a drink after the show.
In my own demented maritime fantasy, I’d lube Laura’s luscious labia with some spf 30 and wax her pelican in the poopdeck with my bedazzled cockkswain, all the while wearing tall rubber boots as she calls out stroke, stroke, stroke in broken Portuguese.
Just when ya think Petri Gallagher (Hey, are we goin’ with that?) has the first Weekly sewn up, along come Boatbagus to gurgle something sounding like: “Hey, waitaminnit here, bro! I got th’ douchepose workin’ all up in this here boat; ain’t no otha clown gonna get in mah grill, nowutuhmsayn?”
.
The gaggle of hotts and the second pic has given Boatbagus a chance against Petri, but I still like Petri’s chances in the first Weekly of 2012.
Thought that was Sophie Simmons on the left there for a second…
Didn’t Mr. Boatbagus dance for minstrel shows and county fairs throughout the South?
^ Maybe that was Mr. Scrote-dangles.
I wanna bang Minxy Laura’s mom.
Nice naturals here,,I think.
hermit, did you break Laura’s Portugese? You must have an enormous schwanzstucker
.
.
I’m going freestyle drunk and stoned Cristmas-style with this one as soon as I get back from the holding pen.
.
Wee piggly-piggly how do your young tufts grow? A little bit of slop. a little bit of poo. “Drink it. drink it” the water fountain says. “Let my garden grow big for you and your friends.” The ground squirrels scurry about afraid of the bayonet that has fooled them so many times before.
.
Another scurry, another decade, the wee Piggly-Wiggly rolls on a little bit older and bigger. Rabbit says, ” Another war mate, best be getting in your hovel.” The ground squirrels scurry about about afraid of the yellow gas swiftly approaching. “My lungs are liquifying Mr. Piggly-Wiggly.”
.
Piggly Wiggly strutted on eating whatever he could find and mating twice. Once with the proper gender. Ground squirrel still licks his nuts.
.
“How do I tell the North from the South, Piggly-Wiggly?” asked the pot-bellied pig. “Look for the ones he Americans are bombing and sacrifice yourself to the Commie ones.” said Piggly-Wiggly. “Run. run, as fast as you can the Napalm and Agent Orange is coming to ruin our fields.”
.
Good thing it hit the gook vllage. Mr.Piggly-Wiggly counts his blessings. So many slaughters. So many twists of fate to escape the peril he did over those years.
.
Forty years on Mr. Piggly-Wiggly lives in his bomb shelter. Eisenhower and Sinatra sing their well-staged Victrola and the rare neighborhood TV. Saddened by what he has seen, Mr’ Piggly Wiggly starts beating hisfamily in the black-and-white wall-papered walk up his in-laws told them he would live in if he refused college and a career in the family wholesale business.
.
Piggly-Wiggly has a bad day in 1968 and stabs a few brothers at an anti-war rally. After puttingup his house for bond he gets out, offs a few cops and is killed fleeing the lawman on I-69.
.
Piggly-Wiggly the Second is 48 years old. He likes Springer. Pawn Stars, Cheese Pork, and stateswith loose gun-control. In his spare time he likes TeaBag Party Rallies, Baptist Church Protests, and hanging Dear Leader Obama in effigy. He votes for Clinton, buys a house for three dollars down with his 300K Wendy’s night supervisor job.
.
George 43 is elected. Bombs for all. The ground squirrel gets called up on his Reserve Commission (respect) as a hemisphere is drawn into questonable quagmire.
.
Piggly Wiggly refinances his house with cheap money and a mortgage that was done without any dillegence since the market can only go up and up and up.
.
Cher’s cute litle daughter decides she wantsa to be a man ans we all wake up in 2012. Time is following no sequence or series. The band plays on. Piggly Wiggly lives in us all waiting to escape and free us from our material bonds. And he waits, not evicted, because he believes in the Chad.
.
God bless you Piggly Wiggly and give a chee
Great I come back to comment on how this douche is Martha’s Vineyard’s Tupac. Read RevChads whatever and now I want a BLT. Thanks Rev, I was trying to cut down on pork products. You’re not helping.
Hottie redhead ate a 55 gallon drum of crisco between camera clicks. She can keep her overworked balloon knot to herself now. Southern fried tuna bait.
A fractured retelling of twentieth century history?
A reminder to get groceries?
A neurotic fairy tale?
A quasi-autobiographical confessional?
Or an anguished cry for help.
.
It’s anyone’s guess.
anti-psychotic fueled ramblings?
Is Piggy Wiggly the pig that lives in RevChads mouth that tells him to do stuff?
.
.
.
.
Red Coke and Rums
I cooked two — count ’em, two — burgers on the grill, alone with a beautiful sunset. I flexed like Bagus, but I wasn’t on a boat, and there were no P2P hotts watching me flex.
.
.
I do have a nice bottle of Pinot Grigio.
.
.
Did
Looks like one of these broads is going bowling. Maybe that’s the Chinese chick’s forearm?
In 1979 I took some blotter acid and experienced first hand what Rev Chad is writing about.
Best night of my life. Donna Summer blew me.
I think it was her, anyway. But I was on acid, so maybe it was just a big fuccen Canadian tranny.
Great BJ though.
Is Martha Stewart the Martha of Martha’s Vineyard? Just askin’.
.
.
Bad fuccin manners
Bad manors.
Can ya tell I popped off a Popov? I’m still pullin’ for the gal on the left.
.
.
Flotation devices
Flex Luther and the 5 Spinners, with future ex-Mrs. Dude on the left.
.
.
Awight, I give up, but she knows I’m here for her.
Gotta take the futrue ex-Mrs to a nude beach, clean up that tan line.
You know, Dreuche, I was thinking along similar lines re. female numbers here just this afternoon while washing my old Ford. We need to encourage more, but can you handle the competition? I mean, presently you have your choice. And what a staggering selection you’re presented with on an almost daily basis.
In other news, I’ve been “invited” to a NYE dance. It’s kind of a singles scene situation. Some bird who an American mate of mine knows/dates organises such things throughout the year. I may go, but strictly for material, however the invite stated “dinner suit – if you have one” Not too promising, I’m sure you’ll agree. The facilitator bird is Chinese so perhaps there’d be a fair sprinkling of Quartasian wool. Who knows? Maybe I’ll stay indoors and yell stuff at passers by as they make their way to the railway station.
Pe/Vajazzling? Seriously?
.
Well, I suppose there are worse things people could be doing to their genitalia.
Whatever, fuck this shit.
.
Bring on the Friday pear!
@Nancy D from yesterday, the jewelry, bikini, make-up, done-up-hair on bleeths is not necessarily de facto indicative of a staged picture. Here in the Jerz, bleeths go to the beach this way. I know, as in a previous life I hung with such types, without needing to resort to being a douchebag. The sex was great, but the conversation was lacking, so I was only able to handle about 18 years of such a shallow existence. I have since found out that there is plenty of good conversation and a serious lack of great sex.
I couldn’t make it through Jacques’ first link. That is some of the sickest penis dissecting shit I have ever seen.
@DW, all talk no sexy time is no way to go through life. But being able to hold a conversation is important. Lord knows the dudes I seem to attract are sure chatty Kathys. It’s like jeez man save something for the pillow talk. Men, can’t live with them, can’t bang em without them telling you their life story.
@tall guy, whatever you do watch out for trannys. NYE is when they usually strike.
Nancy, truer words were never spoke. Last NYE, my tranny went tits-up on me. Left me stranded in a dicey neighborhood full of a bunch of weird looking dudes in women’s clothing, no less. Then I was stuck with a $2k bill for a new valve body and torque converter…
Oh, wait. Nevermind.
Pikers.
must…stop…clicking Jacques links…..
.
.
.
can’t…stop…clicking Jacques links…..
Anybody here seen the movie Sick: The Life and Death of Bob Flanagan, Supermasochist? Very good documentary if you don’t mind watching genital self-mutilation.
Don’t worry, it’s just a link to rottentomatoes, not the movie itself.
You guys and your dissected penises. Fuck you. I say kittens are cute. Look at the sweet widder bitty kitties.
http://kittensforever.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/kittens4blog1.jpg
Following in the spirit of Troy’s link comes Golden Loves Guitar. It’s definitely worksafe and will give you a chuckle, especially if you’re a dog lover like I am.
.
Of course, I find a certain kinship with this pup: his expressions change almost as mine do as I’m looking over Vin’s various hot babe links – I grow disappointed when they stop, but out comes the tongue again when they resume.
@Jacques, I guess I should have been more specific. Unmutilated peen pics preferred. Also if you could convert them to sepia time that would be fantastic. I like the old timey feel of it. Thank you for your continued attention to this matter.
.
@Troy, kittens are lame. Hence why I spend all of my time here instead of CatFancy.com. I thought we already went over this.
I’ve seen Sick,the Bob Flanagan Story-he’s something else,isn’t he? It’s isn’t just about genital mutilation. Well, he was sick to begin with so he made it into a documentary which is one way to get your art on.
I liked it and thought it was touching,although he’s pretty well “out there”. Not for the faint of heart. I do like the whole Re Search series of people,the books,and docs. Fun people.
I like kittens too,figure that one out.
Oh,and why can’t a large tsunami come by and knock these idiots off of the boat they don’t even own or couldn’t even afford to rent the water space a month.
Shark bait.
Looks like the chick on the left is well on her way to a Michigunt…
For kittens and unmutilated penises, go to Thailand. They have everything. 800 Baht will reserve you the Kitten Room in one of Phuket’s infamous massage parlors.
.
In the room you will find a chair with a 3″ diameter hole in the seat, and a basket taped to the bottom with a half dozen declawed kittens inside. Dip your balls in a catnip slurry, have a seat, and welcome to Heaven.
Bleeth on the left is in dire need of some jazzercise.
“Michigunt”.
.
Snork.