Friday, December 30, 2011

New Years Haiku

The casino band
For New Year’s Eve Party is
“Death Crabs for Cuties”

Tri-Lambdas’ revenge
not against Alpha Betas
this time, but parents.

— Wheezer

Pasties on Ta-Ta’s
Tends to lead to morning wood.
But ‘Bags are termites

— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt

So, you want band names?
Skanks nips decorated by
A Flock of Sea Gulls.

— hermit

At Tropicana
“Bring A Douchebag Get In Free”
We’re set for a week

— Vin Douchal

andom chump takes pic
of slut machines where he lost
all his life savings.

— Wheezer

Her tits never move
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.

— The Reverend Chad Kroeger

# posted by Bagnonymous
7:57 am December, 30 DarkSock said...

Damned post got hung up;
No, WordPress; YOU go to Hell.
Y’all start posting shit.

8:00 am December, 30 DarkSock said...

Trannies? You decide.
But center dude’s shirt is not
Only half-tucked thing…

8:03 am December, 30 Wheezer said...

Tri-Lambdas’ revenge
not against Alpha Betas
this time, but parents.

8:06 am December, 30 Wheezer said...

Lennerd Krappitz asks:
“Are you gonna go my way?”
Bro in specs says, “Yes.”

8:09 am December, 30 Wheezer said...

My paranoia
says, “Douche won’t die”; ladies do
their tinfoil caps wrong.

8:10 am December, 30 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Pasties on Ta-Ta’s
Tends to lead to morning wood.
But ‘Bags are termites

8:12 am December, 30 Wheezer said...

Let Mayans be right;
twenty-twelve must clean planet
Earth of these roaches.

8:13 am December, 30 Wheezer said...

DarkSock asks: “Trannies?”
If so, I see no Syne of
“ladies'” Auld Wangs here.

8:14 am December, 30 Wheezer said...

The Baby New Year
fills diaper with more welcome
poo than is seen here.

8:15 am December, 30 Eponymous Douche said...

Who roofied the babes?
Platinum Katy Perry
Does blonde mating call.

8:17 am December, 30 Eponymous Douche said...

Glass-eye, slack-jaw douche
Ubiquitous as dog poo
Numbered for ID

8:17 am December, 30 Wheezer said...

Mayans begin new
calendar on “blonde’s” belly;
Dad’s pride continues

8:20 am December, 30 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

The ‘2’ on his arm
Has branded him as douche poo
Bet he smells, don’t you?

8:22 am December, 30 Eponymous Douche said...

Topless frost-tipped babes
Smiling douchebag Wankersons
Satan smirks, taunts me

8:25 am December, 30 Wheezer said...

New Year’s Seacrest Eve:
once the ladies leave, balls drop
in earnest…..and Bruce.

8:29 am December, 30 Eponymous Douche said...

Platinum Katy
Occupies my fantasy
Hardens scratching post

8:29 am December, 30 Wheezer said...

Brunette hott: real boobs?
Between her and half-tuck, two
outta five ain’t bad.

8:29 am December, 30 tall guy said...

Douche in librarian role
Men as ladies
Dude likee bizarro world

8:31 am December, 30 SonnyChibaChoad said...

blondie’s fake cans droop
WTF? Leather boys sport
librarian specs

8:33 am December, 30 Wheezer said...

Tropicana means
“Florida,” right? Real fruits, sure,
but looks like Vegas.

8:35 am December, 30 Wheezer said...

Never mind – no good
way to know which Trop hotel;
douche is everywhere.

8:36 am December, 30 Wheezer said...

Right nerd-bro is ‘2’
so left nerd-bro must be ‘1’;
likes Mr. White’s drinks.

8:38 am December, 30 hermit said...

So, you want band names?
Skanks nips decorated by
A Flock of Sea Gulls.

8:51 am December, 30 Wheezer said...

New word: “Stripsterbags.”
New genre of scrote to start
the new year off wrong.

8:58 am December, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Her tits never move
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.

8:59 am December, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Still shocked by Jacques D’s
Revolting link. I prepare
To drink hard early.

9:00 am December, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

And by early I
Mean now. And by now I mean
Tape on my wife’s tits.

9:01 am December, 30 Bag A said...

A Trop photo op,
The janitor’s an expert…
in foil removal.

9:02 am December, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Carnival Shooting
Galleries were never the
Same with shiny nips.

9:04 am December, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This gang has convinced
Me that my choice in juice brands
Sucks. Back to Sunkist.

9:11 am December, 30 Wheezer said...

Random chump takes pic
of slut machines where he lost
all his life savings.

9:20 am December, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Director and cast
Vegas show, “Dope Slaps For All”
Front row gets greasy

9:22 am December, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Piggly Wiggly slap
Fucks himself with a firm cock
When he sees tinsel.

9:25 am December, 30 Vin Douchal said...

At Tropicana
“Bring A Douchebag Get In Free”
We’re set for a week

9:31 am December, 30 Vin Douchal said...

In Vegas, I’ve been
Drunk enough to do this , too
But not dumb enough

9:35 am December, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

New Years already!
Fuck I’m still hung from the day
That was yesterday.

9:36 am December, 30 tall guy said...

Tropicana serves fish
Uses douche on left’s belt buckle
To plate-up

9:37 am December, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

If I had a forked
Cock for everytime I did
Two trannies I’d have

9:41 am December, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Hey Tall Guy. You blokes
Hate that half-fag Hugh Jackman
As much as we do?

9:45 am December, 30 DarkSock said...

Wheezer is on fire
So I posted his ass twice.
Double Nepos…Son.

9:49 am December, 30 DarkSock said...

And I know RevChad’s
“Monkey Hole” haiku’s been done;
Still funny. Nepos.

9:49 am December, 30 it's the stink said...

douche “agent” presents:
new act Bono Vanilli,
boobs in tin-foil hats

9:55 am December, 30 hermit said...

I can die happy
Rev Chad explains life’s meaning
Nine thirty seven

9:57 am December, 30 Wheezer said...

Holy crap, I got two?
Seventeen syllables: my
creative limit…..?

9:58 am December, 30 Wheezer said...

See how I snuck in
an extra syllable there^?
Too much excitement.

10:36 am December, 30 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Nikki Beach Club crowd
Crawling with douches and bleeths
Ignoble failure

11:03 am December, 30 Ferris said...

Is it me, or has
Christian Bale’s career taken
a turn for the worse?

11:13 am December, 30 Wedgie said...

I couldn’t get mine to post earlier.

1:13 pm December, 30 Jeet Kune Douche said...

My tongue wants to bathe
blaunde and brunette hawt babeage
liquid poomp on scrotes

7:14 pm December, 30 tall guy said...

Yo Kroeger, can’t speak for my fellow constituents, but I can’t stand Hugh Jackass.

1:57 am December, 31 Nostradouchus said...

Abercrombie douche,
Chipendales scrotes didn’t tape,
I want bleeth nipples.

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