Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Aesop's Fables: "The Squirrel and the Vomit"

One of Aesop’s lesser known fables. A poignant tale of squirrels, vomit, and a lost princess named Lisa.

# posted by douchebag1
9:24 am January, 18 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Is this the cast of “4 Guys and a Babe” or is this the cast of “3 Douche, 1 Tranny and a Babe”?

9:35 am January, 18 Mr. White said...

My only comfort is knowing that, later that night, Thighra on the left crushed one of their chest cavities.

9:38 am January, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

“No bitch! We don’t go to no stupid college. Who needs edumacation when you have the abs and a diploma from The European School of Bartending and you have hands to lift your shirt up like this.”

.

I’ll tell you who, yo. FredL does.

9:41 am January, 18 jonezy said...

it would seem the Crustacean would make an appearance in this fable

9:47 am January, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

In the near distant future someone is going to make a “Douches Gone Wild” video and I’m pretty sure its gonna be even easier to get these tools to show off their chests than your average soroirity slut. Woo.

9:53 am January, 18 Israel said...

We could only hope and pray for such a day! <3

9:55 am January, 18 The Dude said...

Wow, those guys could wash their clothes on their washboard stomachs. I feel an urge to empty mine.

9:59 am January, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“ThunderThighs frictionally activate! Take the forms of Godzilla turd, blonde woodchuck, BP oil spill rooster, and Dopey Smurf. You three, rub your abs on each other so it sounds like an orca taking xylophone lessons from Ray Charles. That will distract the woodchuck long enough so that I can force her to gnaw this woody thing off my beaver. GO!”

10:03 am January, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Welcome Israel. I always liked you as a nation. Can you take that fucking Seth Myers home cause he’s laid a big stinkload on the collective contribution of Jews worldwide to the general good of society. And he ruined SNL for many of us.

.

Praise be to G_d.

10:12 am January, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Rev, first you hate on Louis CK and now Seth Myers?! It’s like we’re two different people. I hope noone out there thinks RevChad is one of my alter egos.

10:18 am January, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

And ladies in this pic, why bother wearing skirts at all? You,ve got like 1/2 an inch till Holy Triangle Reveal (that’s what these dipshits call it gals I don’t make this stuff up.) so you might as well just do a top with panties and call it a day. Cut out the middleman.

10:22 am January, 18 tall guy said...

It isn’t that I’ve only noticed it just now, but what the fuck is it with the douche lifting its shirt? Holy fucking Holy land. Nothing says I’ve got nothing more than lifting your shirt and showing off your abs like some insecure meathead lifting their shirt and showing off their abs! (Try comprehending or at least speed reading that last sentence).

10:22 am January, 18 tall guy said...

Dreuche, you’re more than a little bitter today. What gives?

10:23 am January, 18 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Hopefully this is like one of those old school fables, where someone chooses to ignore the advice of a wise old relative, and ends up dismembered and in the cooking pot of a cross dressing wolf-witch.

10:25 am January, 18 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Dreuche, I’m willing to bet most of the ladies don’t wear panties. Not that I’m complaining.

10:35 am January, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy, my enforced born again virginity is really getting to me. People shouldn’t have to live this way.

@McCrudeshoes, you’re probably right. So I guess they need a little something to cover their glue holes.

10:40 am January, 18 tall guy said...

Enforced born again virginity, Dreuche? I’ve always imagined you as the out on the town every night-kinda girl, who leaves an ever increasing number of shot down players in her wake.

10:44 am January, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy, nope, bit of a workaholic and a homebody, and thanks to this place I don’t have to go out on the town to shoot down players. 😉

10:48 am January, 18 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

That is one big fuckin broad on the left. Her vag doubles as a duffle bag.

10:59 am January, 18 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Dreuch, in fairness, you probably aren’t going to see actual glue hole. A pickle slit if you are lucky. Meat curtains if you are not. A clit boner if you are very unlucky.

11:09 am January, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

@McCrudeshoes, I thought as long as it wasn’t moose knuckle it was all gravy?

.

@tall guy, and when I call you guys dipshits I mean it in the most loving way possible.

11:09 am January, 18 tall guy said...

Dude on left with vomitous white belt, baby blue – ‘I’m oh-so-cute – shirt and stupid headwear sickens me.

11:11 am January, 18 tall guy said...

I figured that, Dreuche. And if at times I didn’t I always remained hopeful.

11:12 am January, 18 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Smitty lifts his blue tee for the mandatory ab reveal while his eyes plead “I can has meth now?”

11:14 am January, 18 FlipFriddle said...

It looks like mohawk-douche and halter-top scrote are trying to kiss in a kind of bro-hungry-mutual-narcissism way, and Princess Lisa sadly thinks she is the object of their attention, instead of just the evening’s convenient sperm receptacle. Vom-it.

These guys need to be ground up to fertilize the lawns of wounded veterans.

11:23 am January, 18 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Dreuche, nope. I admit it’s not a good for a guy to be picky, but I am. So there you have it. The ideal vagazz should look like the cleft in a firm, ripening apricot. Pastrami tacos are questionable, at best. Anything that looks like a giant squid emerging from an undersea cave is out of the question.

11:44 am January, 18 ChestBrah said...

Great picture you can tell these guys are dedicated to their workouts. I’d definitely work out with them.

11:54 am January, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

@ChestBrah, I bet you would work out with them. And in them. And where’s the rest of your bros? You looking for a new crew to have sex with? Er workout with?

12:19 pm January, 18 Medusa Oblongata said...

Sweet Baby Jeebus. I need a tub of drawn butter for all the lobster in this pic. The one on the far left will drink the leftovers.

12:54 pm January, 18 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I don’t know about the squirrel but I’m puking acorns up just looking at the douchery in this pic!

1:46 pm January, 18 Baron Von Goolo said...

These guys remind me of a clown from my gym. He was impatient for a machine and honestly said “Give it up. You’ll never have abs like these.” So I stood up, looked down on him and said “And you’ll never be 5’10”. Guess we’re even.”

2:27 pm January, 18 CB Popped said...

DB on left should not show his stomach, ever.

2:34 pm January, 18 Chelsss said...

The lord will reign hot coals down upon your heads for being so envious, you know it is a sin. I don’t believe any of you want to spend eternity in the lake of fire, it sounds quite horrid if I do say so myself. It’s such a pity none of you have anything better to do with your time rather than be heartless and talk down on God’s angels. I happen to know all of these people, I’m actually quite close with all of them… They are nothing more than respectable, intelligent, beautiful minded people who like to go out every once and a while and have a great time. You shouldn’t shame them, for you probably do the same thing now, darlings. 🙂

4:25 pm January, 18 Nostradouchus said...

bleeth on the left = not hot

4:25 pm January, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Chelssssssss, since when do respectable people feel the need to show off their abs indoors in a non gym environment?

4:52 pm January, 18 troy tempest said...

Once upon a time, there was a squirrel. And he was a happy squirrel, eating and burying nuts all day. Then one day a man dressed in tight pants, an affliction shirt, with gold chains and giant sunglasses came to visit. He said “Hi little squirrel. I’m really horny so I’m gonna FUCK YO NOW!!!” And he fucked the little squirrel right in the ass with his tiny little dick which was all shrivelated because of all the steroids he took to make his arms all big.

Well, later that day, the man met a girl who was barely dressed at all, and said “Oh fuck me baby!” and so the man started fucking the woman with his tiny pee pee, but couldn’t come. The girl said “I need to drink your jizz baby – I need to gargle your spooge!” So the man ran back to the park and grabbed the squirrel and brought it back to the girl. Then he said “Hey baby – close your eyes and open your mouth…” and she did and he squeeeezed the squirrel so hard all his spooge shot out of the squirrel’s butt and into her mouth, and she said “Oh Baby – that’s so awesome!” And then she opened her eyes to see the bubbling guts and rectum of the dead squirrel dripping out of the squirrel’s butt in the mans fist in front of her face.

.

At that point the girl screamed and said “OH MY GOD!!!! THAT’S DISGUSTING!!!!” And the man said “Well, it’s what you said you wanted baby.” And the moral of the story is: Facials kill. Squirrels.

5:04 pm January, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Chelsssss, they do however feel the need to post squirrel jizz stories, so I guess you could call it a wash.

5:32 pm January, 18 Guid is Good said...

I wonder if these Douches have been doin’ the Chunky Bleeth workout? If she’s on top a couple of times a week I’d probably have a six pack too. Or a coronary.

5:49 pm January, 18 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Sorry Chelsss, I’m not buying that chest baring while out clubbing is anything short of narcissistic douchitude. I don’t care that they saw it once on MTV, if anything following that lead just adds lack of imagination to the list of offenses.

7:03 pm January, 18 Elwood BluezBag said...

Is that Khloe’s long lost half sister?

7:10 pm January, 18 Doucheywallnuts said...

This Picture: Where Latent Homosexuality Crosses the Line and Becomes Blatent Homosexuality

8:29 pm January, 18 Stephanie said...

All I see are a bunch of girls: some work out and some don’t.

All jersey shore wannas.

8:15 pm January, 19 Chelsss said...

@Nancy Dreuche & Dude McCrudeshoes, people are shirtless at clubs in Houston a lot more than you would think. It’s not just them so before you point fingers at one group of individuals I suggest you learn your facts. Unless you know this group personally, I don’t think you should be judging them. Only God can be the judge of anyone.

12:49 am January, 26 jack said...

who ever new A+ abs got B- pussy, I’m gonna stop working out

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