Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Awkward Guy Wearing T-Shirt of a Hot Chick Standing Next to Hot Chicks

Don’t be that guy.

And yes, the title sentence of this post is gramatically ambiguous about whether the guy is standing next to hot chicks, or whether his t-shirt has a picture of a hot chick standing next to hot chicks. I blame my junior high school.

# posted by douchebag1
7:14 am January, 11 Eponymous Douche said...

Question: If being the assistant manager running a quarter-a-minute peep show is your chosen life path, would you not be aware that you should comb your hair in the presence of Hustler Hotts? Seems like a natural life lesson to my mind.

7:18 am January, 11 Nancy Dreuche said...

Hey that’s Tiny Dancer Maria’s douchebag! Hands off ladies. Wheezer please confirm, then erase the part of my brain that remembers this shit.

7:20 am January, 11 Nancy Dreuche said...

At Epon Douche, he is assistant to the assistant manager. No self respecting assistant manager would dress like that.

7:26 am January, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

We don’t care about know fucking grammer here, Yo!

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That chick on the right has one tight little body the likes I haven’t seen in person since I fucked the Polish hooker while my wife was in labour. Spinner.

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Cheating Cads

7:26 am January, 11 UFO Destroyers said...

Nancy, you are correct. Same eyebrow ring and same inability to grow facial hair. And yet somehow the same ability to stand next to hotts. Albeit only one-and-a-quarter hotts this time. Brunette looks like she’s straight from the Jersey Shore genetic collection. Blonde could be in the running for a nomination for Best Golden Globes 2012 in about 10 months.

7:28 am January, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

And I don’t think that necessessarily be’s he a douchebags

7:30 am January, 11 Condouchious said...

Looks like Fratpud Juan of Golden Globed Tiny Dancer Maria “fame” http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2011/11/fratpud-juan-cant-believe-his-luck/

7:32 am January, 11 C. K. Doucheter-Haven said...

Why are they all doing the douchebag hokey pokey, putting their right foot in?

7:42 am January, 11 tall guy said...

Body wise blond on right is the business. Sadly her company inventory devalues daily. And the anti fashion police want all three to help them with their enquiries. And Tiny Dancer’s chin fung grip wears skinny jeans the hipster douches!

7:44 am January, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Somewhere in Florida, Pat Boone lets out a torrent of gut-wrenching sobs after seeing what has become of his former pair of favorite loafers.

7:46 am January, 11 Tokyo Sexwhale said...

I would like to take the blond back to the 1950’s so that I could give her beaver a good scolding.

7:51 am January, 11 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Good on Fratpud Juan…altho won wunders ef hiz fraternaty iz uf tha East LA Bean Eatin’ Lowrider variaty.

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.Dem homies luv dem gringa slutz

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.Gueros spellcheckers

7:53 am January, 11 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Speaking of white loafers @Doc Bunsen, how’s your dad?

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.Hardeeharhars…

7:56 am January, 11 Medusa Oblongata said...

Wow, a shirt with a hot chick while standing with hot chicks on a site whose name starts “Hot Chicks”….I shall now call him “The Metadouche.”

8:13 am January, 11 Steve said...

I wanna marry the blonde. Fake tits be damned.

8:24 am January, 11 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Medusa, its a real corundum, that. Like antonym is the antonym of synonym, but synonym is the antonym of antonym. Now pass the bong. No, the really big one.

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Between this pic and the Tiny Dancer pic, I think I’m about to crack the case of the melon smuggling ring wide open. Awkward Juan is going to do serious time. In the trunk of a ’74 Oldsmobuik while I drive it off road until the tires come off.

8:31 am January, 11 tall guy said...

Two of the subject matter in the photo support this theory. http://laddertheory.com/

One does not.

8:36 am January, 11 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy, Are we still talking game theory on this thing? I thought Sir David Douchenborough, (my favorite Canadian) broke that ish down for us back in the dizzay.

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Glutes and Bladders

8:43 am January, 11 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Nancy: Good detective work recognizing frat pud juan. I know the feeling of excitement when you identify a bag from a previous pic, then the shame and confusion of realizing your mind has actually wasted brain cells on remembering these fools.

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And it appears that water does always seek its own level as frat pud has matched up with much lesser quality hotts as Tiny Dancer Maria. She was way out of his league.

8:48 am January, 11 tall guy said...

Dreuche, this week my game stood a fair chance of being lifted. First there was the German woman at my home group, then the aforementioned mate’s ex. Re. the Fräulein: was showing her my natty little roadster after Monday night’s meeting. Walked her back to her car. Mate’s ex is a bit too arty for me. She’s a painter, by which I mean she does daubs. Any tips?

8:56 am January, 11 CB Popped said...

Fratpud w/o his red hat tilt.

9:11 am January, 11 Nancy Dreuche said...

@MPI, thanks, and yes shamefusion is the proper word to describe said feeling.

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@tall guy, yeah I would steer clear of the mate’s ex. Too complicated. As for the other woman, I’m gonna need more info to tell you how to properly play it. But for starters just think “What would Rev Chad do?” and then do the opposite. Also if she has a job, respect that shit. And finally, its not all about you and you can be replaced. Sorry, real talk.

9:31 am January, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Brookline? Do you guys ever beat Newton in anything other than girls are easy at a younger age?

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Jizzers

9:53 am January, 11 tall guy said...

Well she has a job and it plays a big part in her life. Mind you I also have a job, which plays a big part in my life. So we’re on similar ground in that respect. Maybe I can be replaced, but there’s been a bit of sexual tension between us for a while now. Maybe she’s just her playing her game. Maybe she needs a good pounding… You positive I shouldn’t consult Kroeger on this? Seems like it’s right up his dirty little back alley (not a euphemism).

10:15 am January, 11 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Yes. Bewbs. Lots and lots of bewbs.

10:21 am January, 11 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy, I think you should consult the good Reverend. Obviously he is very happy at his current life station. And yes women also play games, some are so skilled at it you don’t even know that’s what they’re doing. Watch out for those chicks, they’ll put a reverse hex on you and you’ll never be the same.

10:34 am January, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ CTDS

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Dead. Thankfully.

11:04 am January, 11 Wedgie said...

Thanks for reminding me that I missed the AVN Awards again this year.

11:17 am January, 11 DarkSock said...

Why own when you can rent?

11:51 am January, 11 fatness said...

Why rent when you can sit across the street in the park with high powered binoculars?

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What?

12:02 pm January, 11 Baron Von Goolo said...

He looks like he combs his hair with a tennis racket.

12:09 pm January, 11 Wheezer said...

Is anyone else’s Irono-meter going off?

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Boobies.

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@Nancy (7:18 a.m.) – You may be correct:

http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2011/12/best-golden-globes-1-tiny-dancer-maria/

12:42 pm January, 11 Nancy Dreuche said...

Thanks Wheezer.

1:30 pm January, 11 Wedgie said...

Either combs his hair with a racket or uses the “There’s Something About Mary” hair gel.

4:04 pm January, 11 grumpy old man said...

DB1: I think what you have there is you misplaced your modifier or you have a dangling participle (dropped in the lingua franca). Keep your eyes on the danglings and the modifiers they’ll getchya !

Are those Pat Boon’s shoes?

4:24 pm January, 11 Nostradouchus said...

I thought this was “hot” chicks with douchebags…

9:22 pm January, 11 Whoop-di-douche said...

Well, I at least appreciate his square chin contrasting with the hot chicks’ x-tra round curves. I just wish the photographers would have the presence of mind to pose the shots to best display such a comparison. Nothin’ beats a man-jaw ’bout ready to munch on a she-boob.

9:24 pm January, 11 Whoop-di-douche said...

He looks like he chopped off a piece of Brunettyhott’s tresses and slapped them on his noggin, sprt of a 21st century Bobbsey Twins look.

12:56 am January, 12 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Mike Patton’s douchebag doppelganger? Creepy.

6:46 pm January, 12 Stephanie said...

Featherhead meth.

6:47 pm January, 12 Stephanie said...

Or Meth Featherhead

8:30 pm January, 12 Sir David Douchenborough said...

After falling off of the map, I now find that those subdued, lanky boys who used to play Magic and talk incessantly about Cloud Strife have all grown up. Sadly, my good sir, just because the crazy, Japan-inspired gel hairstyle looked good on retro 3d rpg games does not mean you should adopt them.

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