Sunday, January 1, 2012

Best Pear: Shower Pearfection

And since it’s the New Year, lets give out one final belated 2011 Douchie Award. For Pear must always come in the rear. Or something.

Happy 2012!!

May all your Pear be prime, and your Douchebags nonexistent.

# posted by douchebag1
8:34 am January, 1 Wedgie said...

Hangover

8:35 am January, 1 hermit said...

Wow, ……………………..

.

.

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just wow

8:55 am January, 1 Nancy Dreuche said...

That shower is handicapped accessible. Nice. The old rich guy she must be sucking the cash out of must be in a wheelchair. In fact he or a midget must be taking the pic. Or maybe he’s a midget in a wheelchair. Either way nice ass.

9:00 am January, 1 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Nice as it is, (and by nice, I mean bonerrific) why is this categorized as Douchepose?

9:12 am January, 1 YA said...

That’s Tahiticora

9:18 am January, 1 Nancy Dreuche said...

@CND, its kind of a staged pic, like its posed for to get attention. That’s what douches do right? Have we been on the same site together? Am I taking crazy pills again?

10:22 am January, 1 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Mulatto Leah? I hope she shaves now or the faces of men the world over will succumb to her charms and be nose-raped to a bloody pulp.

10:37 am January, 1 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Damb!

I just wanna put that on an ice cream cone and…..Go To Work!

10:55 am January, 1 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Brothers and Sistas around the world will unite this year to find a cure for the scourge of mankind, the hangover. The movie too, fuck.

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It will be feated with a performance by the greatest band of all time. These guys. Turn down the bass.

.

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Wow! My eyes get really blue when my blood alcohol level is in the .400’s.

11:27 am January, 1 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Rev, your eyes get blue and your videos get “Not Found”. Nice work Ace. Happy New Year!

11:29 am January, 1 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

FYI Tahiti Clara doesn’t do nudes. Only tasteful swimsuit pics like this one, that seems to feature a fully loaded 747 fleeing her vagina: http://www.modelmayhem.com/portfolio/pic/25911910#25911910

Yeah, sometimes it’s best not to look beyond the pear.

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Polyphonies.

11:54 am January, 1 bandolero999 said...

BABOING

New year badonkadonk

1:08 pm January, 1 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Problems with vids today. Fuccen alzheimers (no respect).

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Maybe this will work.

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1:09 pm January, 1 tall guy said...

How’s this, Kroeger? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKd4EpQPRbg

2:03 pm January, 1 Medusa Oblongata said...

I only ever found one cure for a hangover. Unfortunately, it involves not drinking. Turns out there’s no cure, only prevention. Sorry, Rev, I spent a lot of years researching in the field.

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In the meantime, NDAA has passed so it’s legal to toss us all into the gulag. I’m gonna go masturbate ’cause I imagine being in shackles will make it difficult.

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Terrorists

2:04 pm January, 1 Nancy Dreuche said...

@McCrudeshoes, can’t go wrong with a tatted up vajayjay. At least its not Homer Simpson. I think there should be a Hall of I Don’t Do Nudes on here. There seems to be a lot of classy ladies who would fall into that category.

2:43 pm January, 1 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I really cannot stand the faux marble finish in handicapped showers. And by that I mean I’d love to ejaculate on Shower Pear’s lower back and glutes.

3:06 pm January, 1 Jacques Doucheteau said...

When I’m in the right mood like today, after a lengthy night of boozing it up while shooting off scores of illegal fireworks, and a morning of mimosas and caviar after busting out a four mile run in the sub-freezing Oregon fog to kick that hangover’s ass down the street; I like to kick back next to a roaring fire and throw some classic CCR on the ol’ turntable.

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Ahhhhh! Chilaxin’.

3:13 pm January, 1 Jacques Doucheteau said...

A tatt of a 747 above one’s axe wound is pretty tasteless, but rest assured there are far worse ones out there.

.

Seriously.

3:14 pm January, 1 Jacques Doucheteau said...

I mean, seriously disturbing

3:21 pm January, 1 Jacques Doucheteau said...

But it’s not all vagina horror stories. There are some women who do GOOD things to their vagina. Like exercise them.

.

3:31 pm January, 1 tall guy said...

What happened to good old fashioned fitness celebrities?

3:33 pm January, 1 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Nance, seems to be a model mishap thing… “Sure I’ve been doing softcore waiting for my big break, but hear ye, you who are reading this, I’m like super experienced and don’t contact me for anything other than the cover of Maxim and/or $10,000 in which case I’d blow a dead person. Mmmkay?”

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Jacques, I’ve learned not to follow your links.

8:29 pm January, 1 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Ya know as much as I would fear Tatiata would rip my peen off with her super human muscular vageen, I would basically give up my left arm to throw one in her. Just sayin.

9:07 pm January, 1 Wheezer said...

Yep, I wanna lightly paddle those cheeks. I don’t think she’d mind much.

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That’s what I keep telling myself.

10:01 pm January, 1 DarkSock said...

I would merrily toss 178 newborn kittens into a roaring wood-chipper just for the privilege to be neutered by Tatiata’s Slap Chop.

10:04 pm January, 1 DarkSock said...

Magnum, terms like “muscular vageen” are not tossed around nearly enough in today’s suck-a-fuccen-cockk culture. I salute you, and by “salute you” I mean I will name each individual wriggling raindrop from my 3:00 pm Yogurt Ham-Slap Tempest after you, albeit individually and serially enumerated, for tax purposes.

.

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FUCK THE MAN!!!

10:05 pm January, 1 DarkSock said...

Sons.

10:05 pm January, 1 DarkSock said...

Cum Carne.

10:28 pm January, 1 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Who takes a shower with a bathing suit on? Next you’ll tell me she uses condoms.

5:59 am January, 2 CB Popped said...

What a fuccen ass!

I’m a pear man. Always have been, and I will give you my reasons;

If a woman has a nice pear, all is good in the world. A nice pear usually means nice legs, and if she has that going on, it stands to reason that her Vajay Jay is also above average.

So a nice pear = 3 for 3. Ill sacrifice boob size anyday for uber – suckable pear gnaw.

7:23 am January, 2 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Following up on Jacques’s comments and links.

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http://io9.com/5843446/the-most-revolting-vagina-dentata-sound-effect-of-all-time-%5Bnsfw%5D

7:30 am January, 2 Douchble Helix said...

For the first time in my life, I’m afraid to follow links on HCwDB.

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Make it stop!!

12:11 pm January, 2 Jacques Doucheteau said...

@DoucheyWallnuts

That movie looks awesome, and I WILL see it. I love the Japanese and Korean gore film genre, starting with Ichi The Killer, Tokyo Gore Police, Battle Royal, and of course Guinea Pig 2: Flower of Flesh and Blood.

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http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=0bd_1275055641

12:44 pm January, 2 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I just love the term “vagina dentata,” and think it could have wide-ranging application. Rock band, Bowl Game, Appetizer, Cocktail, Cafe Name, etc.
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***EDIT***
…and rhymes with “Hakuna Matata”…
– D.S.

***EDIT***

9:31 pm January, 2 Nostradouchus said...

Where’s the BBQ sauce?

10:11 pm January, 2 DarkSock said...

[Homer talking to Sideshow Bob, discussing what sort of appetizer to serve at Bob & Selma’s wedding]

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Homer : “Well, you can’t go wrong with cocktail weenies – they come wrapped in this tasty little package and are served with a delicious red sauce: it looks like ketchup, it tastes like ketchup, BUT BROTHER, IT AIN’T KETCHUP!”

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