Saturday, January 28, 2012

Comment of the Week: Choad the Douche Sprocket

Choad the Douche Sprocket reflects on Fraternity life in the Lena’s Cry For Help thread and wins the coveted HCwDB of the Week:

————

I wasted 2 1/2 years of my youth in a fraternity… and outgrew them before I was 21.

Everything about them was social Darwinism in action, a race to the bottom with a bunch of good ole boys destined to remain that way until called to that great bourbon distillery in the sky.

If any Sigma Nus from Vanderbilt University in the early 70s are reading this, you were a bunch of racist, sexist, drunken, stupid, fratbags then… who, I’m sure, have raised a bunch of stupid, red-state, sexist, alcoholic, know-nothing, fratbag, future middle-managers now…

…just the sort Lena (above) enjoys breeding with.

Her cry for help is more hollow than a Kanye West apology.

Santorums

———-

# posted by douchebag1
12:48 pm January, 28 Wheezer said...

I’m sure DoucheWeasel disagrees with this selection.

12:58 pm January, 28 Douchble Helix said...

A treat from DH. The only editing is I flipped Renee.

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http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/267/leaners.jpg/

2:24 pm January, 28 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Whoa! DH!! Bringing Back Renee!!! You Shoot (!), I Shoot(!!), we all score!!!! As my local Shop Rite says – This is a Can Can Sale!

2:29 pm January, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I can only agree with Choad cause we didn’t have frats here, just smelly hippy dorm mates stuck in the sixties although the decade ended with them preparing for kindergarten and there were no Pull-Ups back then so maybe the smell was because they hadn’t had a clean as for 19 fucking years.

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Fucking Honey Badger don’t care about DoucheWeasle. What a bitch!

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Graduates

2:29 pm January, 28 troy tempest said...

Te plural of Santorum is Santorae.

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latins.

2:37 pm January, 28 Stephanie said...

Drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.

2:40 pm January, 28 Wheezer said...

@DouchbleHelix –

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BOOBIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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No really, I’ve never seen boobies before. My engorged cockk, The Kleenex Corp., The Vaseline Corp., and I all thank you.

3:07 pm January, 28 Douchble Helix said...

ty [blushes]

3:35 pm January, 28 Nancy Dreuche said...

@DH, I didn’t think you could top “Spinners”, but this latest installment is quite provocative, its like they all have boobs and are displaying them in a similar fashion. I’m thinking “Cleavers” would be a good title.

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Frat douches are just another group of dudes I would be able to infiltrate and then slowly control. Next.

3:43 pm January, 28 Wedgie said...

Original “Lena’s Cry” photo is eerily reminiscent of a photo from the floor of the U.S. Senate I saw recently. Frightening, isn’t it?

The State of the Union is: we’re fucced.

4:15 pm January, 28 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

CtheDS: I learned long ago not to have the fraternity or not to fraternity arguement with people. Kind of like religion and politics, taboo subjects that only cause to infuriate. You obviously did not have a good experience. I did. All I can say is that you get out of it what you put in, like many things in life. If you just use the time to drink to excess and act like an ass, that’s what you get out of it. But if you put time into the organization I think you can get a lot out of it, mostly learning how to deal with and manage peers. There’s my two cents.

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Why the fuck would you get a tatt of a skull with a crown on your chest / neck ?

6:47 pm January, 28 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Actually, when you think about it, Douchebaggery seems to be primarily a Blue State plague.

To wit:

California – choadscrotiness is everywhere, both north and south, especially of the metrosessual kind.

New Jersey – a deeply blue state that spawned the de-evolved mutant freak sub-breed of Jersey Shore scrotoxicity so popularized by MTV.

New York – think of all the Long Island baglings and baguettes which have corroded the ‘series of tubez’ with images of their vomitous lives.

What is going on in Blue States that creates such stains upon the collective soul of Humanity?

7:39 pm January, 28 Douchble Helix said...

Doesn’t this guy kinda bring to mind a white(ish) KD-4?

8:08 pm January, 28 Mr. Biggs said...

Checkmate Sprocket. Couldn’t have summed it up better myself.

8:31 pm January, 28 Benjamin Doucheraeli said...

Drunk’s a way to go through life. Stupid helps. But Hey! I went to Vanderbilt, dammit. Though I was born in the early 70s.

Once got invited to help a girl study on the Tri-Delt swing, offering a sweeping vista of frat row. All her sistahs would come up and say “who’s your friend, Molly?” Thus letting me know it was a signal honor.

Um, what were we talking about? Got distracted there.

8:40 pm January, 28 Vin Douchal said...

The dude in this photo looks familiar. Maybe because I did a long overdue dog poop pick up patrol this afternoon in the backyard

8:49 pm January, 28 DarkSock said...

Lena’s innards smell of dumb-cockk sauce. As does her esophagus.

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Stupid cows.

8:50 pm January, 28 Scrotewank Jones and the furry furry Douchetrots said...

The Air Force was the same way. The most infuriating part was people speaking in cliches all the time. If I had to hear one more person say, “I’d complain, but nobody’d listen” one more time, I would have put a shotgun in my mouth, and used my toe to squeeze the trigger.

9:05 pm January, 28 Nostradouchus said...

I’m from the Vandy (Trashville) area and ended up going to Ole Miss. SEC schools are fratbag heaven, and the fuccen good ol’ boys that plague them are the scourge of the Earth.

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At least they gotta compete against the stereotypical Jerz in the Big East.

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These fuccs don’t even care about the athletes that bring ’em glory. They treat ’em like mushrooms – feed ’em shit and keep ’em in the dark. Once they’re done winning, they send ’em back where they came from. No admittance to the GOB network for you, darkie! Modern day slavery as far as I’m concerned.

5:54 am January, 29 Et Tu Douche? said...

Got my drunk on last night making 2 nights in a row, does that constitute being on a bender? .

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Loves me some smoking Latina hotts.

6:42 am January, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^You are bendering. Another day and it will be a bender. When it gets to the point you don’t get hangovers anymore and it takes bottles of liquor to get drunk and you wake up sober feeling like an 80 year old cripple every day, please stop.

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Kroeger fact.

7:22 am January, 29 Doucheywallnuts said...

For as spot on as Chode’s comment is, it is overshadowed by surely what has to be considered as one of the worst tattoos ever. And by that I mean I would love to ejacuate on this girl’s sunglasses, face and throat.

7:28 am January, 29 Doucheywallnuts said...

Another observation; the likelihood of douche increases when there is a requirement to wear any kind of paper wristband in a drinking establishment.

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I too am bending, night one Knob Creek on the rocks with orange, night two Maker’s and ginger, tonight beer on tap that Mrs Wallnuts will deliver to me while wearing her sexy Jane Jetson costume, which, as a result, will need to be dry cleaned post haste.

7:40 am January, 29 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Rev

Thanks for the sage wisdom.

7:43 pm January, 29 Edith Anne Tarbox of Dripping Springs Tx said...

cds nailed it.

what is worse now is that the fratbags from the ass end of southern gentility are finding their sinecures are drying like sorority pussy when the skank hits age 25 on average.they blame everyone but themselves for being useless, past their prime, unlaid and unlayable. the greatest suffering one can inflict upon these creatures is knowledge of a perspective other than the one instilled in them.

when they have to compete, or find the whole wide world does not see the inherent grace and righteousness of their privelege, they take umbrage like paula deen forced to live on nutrisystem.

paleogynocologists.

8:13 pm January, 29 troy tempest said...

That bleethy bint is showing signs. In 10 years she’s gonna have some serious cottage cheese thunder thighs. Esp. after she craps out a sprog or two.

8:00 am January, 30 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Whether you agree with him or not, the Old Choad is humbled by the recognition and your commentaries.

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. and by “humbled” we mean we’ve decided not to launch a fragmentation grenade at the next Greek house we see,

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As to Magnum Douche P.I.’s point, it is understood that positive experiences can come out of the frat/sorority life, but on the whole, the engender, nay demand, elitism and bigotry of all kinds. Their very existence depends on social stratification and prejudice of the “we’re cooler than them” kind — not a healthy attitude for contributing to society.

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.Take for example the Jews at Vandy — AEPi if memory serves — nice guys all, and people I should’ve been friends with IF I hadn’t been brainwashed for a couple of years.

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.Adelsons

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