Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Esoteric Wednesday

Sad Packers Fan should not have worn the sparkles on the nails.

# posted by douchebag1
2:19 pm January, 18 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

The problem is that they live in Wisconsin. If they can’t win the superbowl, they have nothing to look forward to all winter but the siren call of daddy’s antique shotgun whispering on the cold, cruel wind.

2:24 pm January, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

Yeesh. Not to sound insensitive, but it is just a game. So I guess there is crying in football? No wonder I don’t really follow it.

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No seriously, this chick really loves football.

2:24 pm January, 18 CB Popped said...

BWAAA – HAHA,HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA….

2:24 pm January, 18 Vin Douchal said...

Pathetic. This better be 99% alcohol induced or we need to trade Wisconsin to Canada for three hott actresses and a net minder ( not named “Luongo”) to be named later

2:31 pm January, 18 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.

2:33 pm January, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Has anybody ever been to Green Bay? I have. There’s not a fuccen thing there and what is there is covered in green and yellow. Churches, fire hydrants, you name it, it’s covered. And there’s a bar on every corner. No, really. THERE IS A BAR ON EVERY FUCCEN CORNER! So this videodoesn’t really surprise me at all. Just another typical drunken grizzly (who’s up at her winter weight) lookin’ to find some excuse not to fall through the ice one last time.

2:43 pm January, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

^Damn that’s cold Doc. Like literally.

3:01 pm January, 18 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Raclette, when made properly (and garnished appropriately), is a fine winter’s dish on a cold January evening.

3:15 pm January, 18 Wedgie said...

Wow. At least when the Chargers lose, I can paddle out into the lineup and feel better in a half hour. Which, by the way, was after half our games this season.

3:15 pm January, 18 Doucheywallnuts said...

“Hey Rodgers! Douchecount Double Check!”

3:16 pm January, 18 Doucheywallnuts said...

“Hey Rodgers! Bleethcount Doublechin!”

3:17 pm January, 18 Doucheywallnuts said...

Did she say she wore her Matthews jersey because she ate her Rodgers jersey?

3:21 pm January, 18 The Dude said...

The only time I ever cried about football was when I skinned my knee playing flag football in second grade. I didn’t even start crying until I saw blood running down my leg. Thankfully I didn’t have sparkles on my fingernails, that would’ve been awful. And I didn’t start drinking until high school, unless you count the times I hung out at my friends’ older brothers’ barmitzvahs sneaking some of those little ceremonial shots.

3:34 pm January, 18 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

It’s OK. We’ll always have Giant Spider Invasion.

3:46 pm January, 18 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

You make Peggy sad.

4:02 pm January, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Looks like Ed Gein will have a lot to work with this winter. Besides all the moderately priced lamp shades, you’ll be able to purchase small, uniquely shaped disco balls with a Packers theme to them.

4:12 pm January, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

At least they still have their cheese. Trust me, that IS something.

4:42 pm January, 18 troy tempest said...

Buhwehwehwehweh – packers lost – wehwehwehweh – sparly nails – wehwehwehweh – WTF? Talk about crisis of modernity – this blubbering idiot is driving DOWN A HIGHWAY in a nice car after attending a spectacular football game in a huge stadium and because her preferred team lost, it’s like her father or her dog just died. Fuck. Shoot me now.

5:27 pm January, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

To be followed by a San Francisco fans’ inconsolables next Wednesday and FredL’s mothers text bill for last month. Just saying. FredL is a shill.

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Mother Kroeger expressed her disdain for bad manners this evening as my daughter touched a piece of meat being retrieved from the serving plate with her fingers. An elaborated conversation dismissed this young folly when the realization was made that texting at the dinner table or anywhere in public is equalled only by public suckling of baby soothers or self-fellation in a public arena as the scourge of the new millenium presents itself as unfulfilled youth and anxious elders in the need of mothers teat.

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A degeneration of the millenials to child-cocks as Stackhouse once wrote so stupidly has led us down a slippery path to one from whence no adults will arise. A permanent underclass of the self-absorbed loin juice of yuppy scum. I’m too young to be a yuppy. Too old to be GenX. But just right to see a generation absolutely lost in occupation, hipsterisms. political correctness gone awry, ambiguous sexuality and X-Box syndrome. These people may be able to pilot a drone into action from a Colorado bunker and God bless them for it. But if the kids between 18 and 28 were called action now the West would be caught with no pants bent over like a twelve year old in a Virginia grow-op.

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The Worstest Generation raised only on disposable diapers and Bisphenyl formula bags rotting their brains and creating obese players while filling the refuse dumps they protest so loudly against. The really stupid ones stick out as douchebags exerting their Alpha status and peacocking to one another as the only of the species’ generation brave enough to procreate. And the yuppies spend another decade ignoring their unwanted, spoiled, entitled offspring as they spend their unemployment checks on gym memberships as the effects of gravity become unreversable and the foreclosure notices more frequent.

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The douchebags take hold for a short period of time starting coincidentally with the most communistic president in history who denies the continued reliance on fossil fuels as he buries his head in the sand oblivious to the smiling Massuchusetts Mormon riding a bulldozer of moderation to Washington. A prophecy does not come to pass as the Age of Aquarius dawns onto a new group of youngsters, The Indigo Children who will keep the species on course to that distant star and not into that dark night. The Last Waltz was almost played, but death and rebirth our collective salvation.

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And fuck you and your sparkly nails you fat bitch. Giants one fair and square.

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Plagos

5:30 pm January, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^won

5:36 pm January, 18 Guid is Good said...

This is why the Chinese are eating your lunch Americans…. …sparkly nails.

6:33 pm January, 18 hermit said...

We don’t want your filthy oil Rev. The Chinese will be glad to take it though.

We’ll be busy here with Solyndra, useless Government-subsidized windmill farms and other monuments to stupidity.

6:37 pm January, 18 Blah said...

Can you imagine having to share a car with that? I would have driven off a cliff.

6:55 pm January, 18 Budo said...

“I don’t care about pretty!” Yeah, no kidding.

6:56 pm January, 18 Doucheywallnuts said...

But I like the XBox….

7:04 pm January, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

@RevChad, how dare you. My local sports team will pull through. And if they don’t I will shit in someone else’s pants while thinking about my first love eating fish out of my second love’s fish fryer while watching Family Guy. And you know how much I hate eating fish!

7:09 pm January, 18 Massadouchetts said...

1997 New Orleans – a Superfan did NOT wear the Away game grundies that day. NE lost to GB, tragically.

I blame the Tuna for using an escape plan rather than a game plan.

But be sure of this – Never has the mistake been made by Superfan – Ever.

Except when his wife slipped up in early 2008 and Eli Douching stole the show.

Divorce can be bitter and ugly – especially for the kids.

“Respect the Streak” Crash Davis knew it, Nuke LaLouche learned it, Annie Savoy lived it.

8:06 pm January, 18 Wedgie said...

It rubs the sparkles on its nails.

8:17 pm January, 18 Stephanie said...

The Giants played strip ball the whole game,boys.Just watch it more carefully. They won,but simply by not playing real football. And the Packers were not playing their usual team working together selves. It happens. But not because some dumb bitch got drunk,watched them lose,and then cried about it. Actually I shed a tear or two myself. Who wins that many games in a row?

There’s plenty of things to do in Wisconsin:ski,go ice fishing,drink,sledding/tobogganing,ski drunk,get into the sauna,shovel snow,catch up on your Ed Gein projects in the basement,you know…and drinking. All of the liquor is cheapest here…suckers.

Even spinning your car in circles on the road ice is fun.

And then there’s the cheese and sausage and grilling out mid winter that never gets tiresome.It melts the snow off of the patio.

8:40 pm January, 18 Wedgie said...

^You forgot to mention that you can buy a house for less than the cost of many fine automobiles. Yippee.

9:15 pm January, 18 schlicht bindenburger said...

what a tasty mugwamp she is. get some o dat frumunda cheese with your spatch and smear it on a triscuit…10 secs inda micro and there’s some good tucker!

5:26 am January, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Hermit

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Nothing wrong with Alberta oil. The only dirty things to come out of Canada are Shannon Tweed and Pamela Anderson.

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@Stephanie

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I don’t feel your pain. And I’m sure Wisconsin is a great place to live. Kind of like Fargo. Ice fishing sucks balls.

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Sparkly Cheeseheads

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6:42 am January, 19 Ohio FJ said...

I am with Vin Douchal – first word out of my mouth – pathetic

8:15 am January, 19 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Wedgie,

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Houses are cheap in Wisconsin because they tax the wholey living f*ck out of you for property. Lived there for one year a short while ago. Anyone buying a house over $100,000 is going to take it up the ass. Anyone buying a house for under $100,000 is buying a piece of crap that’s either been around for 50 years or more, or its a 1500 square-foot shoe box.

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I preferred to have a real house instead of a landlocked ice shed and so begrudgingly took it up the ass.

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When we moved on after one year it took almost another year to sell the place, and that was when the market was moving up at a heavy click.

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But someone’s got to pay for those state government pensions.

10:22 am January, 19 Mr. Biggs said...

Well, I hope this little girl found some vindication.

1:29 pm January, 19 Medusa Oblongata said...

JIMINY CRICKET WITH CRABS ON A POGO STICK, IT’S A FUCKING GAME, YOU ASSWIPES. And shame on a grown-up, fat, drunk nitwit with a piece of foam cheese on her head, blubbering her big ass back to the suburbs over a bunch of overpaid steroid apes losing a god damn game. This is 89% of why I detest professional sports. I hate the fucking fans and their emotional tirades over wins, losses or these butterfingered gorillas dropping a ball. The Arizona border is littered with the severed heads of migrant workers and empty crack vials. Children are born with brain defects in America, the richest and most powerful country on earth (sort of) because their mothers can’t afford a damn bottle of vitamins and a bag of oranges. Old fats who can’t even figure out how to operate a cordless phone are shutting down the internet and everything we eat was either made in a lab or treated with chemicals that were made in a lab. Our money is worth less than toilet paper and my generation will die penniless on potato farms. And you, Beluga Beth, are sobbing hysterically over the tragedy of your football team losing a game. I club you viciously with a tire iron and move on to your family next.

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Favres.

4:52 pm January, 19 Nancy Dreuche said...

Medusa FTW.

5:39 pm January, 19 Stephanie said...

@Medusa,you seem kind of angry. People are over that game already.And yeah, it’s a shame to place sports on such a high pedestal.It’s a diversion. I don’t think anyone committed suicide over it. You should run for office and fix the country. I’m serious.

The foam cheese head things are warm though.

6:22 pm January, 19 Medusa Oblongata said...

FUCKING BREAD AND CIRCUSES, DAMNIT!!! If people want a contest, I’ll give them one, by cracky!!! All death row inmates will be forced to participate in gladiatorial spectacles on Pay Per View, the money will go to fix the shitty schools so we can stop churning out an endless parade of nitwits. The survivor of the gladiator match wins a lifetime of drug testing in the lab so we can set all the monkeys free and find a goddamned cure for cancer already.

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Military service will be mandatory, one year for every man and woman at the age of 18. All households will be required to have an AK-47 for each adult living there. All criminals MUST be shot on sight of said criminals in action. Tax breaks if you kill serial rapists or child molesters. With crime down to zero, the police will be used to operate ice cream trucks in suburban neighborhoods. They will also randomly beat bank CEOs into a drooling, crippled stupor in order to keep them all honest.

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OBLONGATA 2012. I seek a running mate.

6:33 pm January, 19 ArmChair Douchebag said...

Wow, they run a stop sign @21 secs; losing a football game could’ve been the least of their worries. Idiots. Wait, that’s redundant, they’re Packers fans.

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