Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Esoteric Wednesday

If you ever wondered what deepest darkest fears haunt the subconscious of suburban, white America, now you know.

# posted by douchebag1
11:28 am January, 25 Hermit said...

Good to know those Louisiana Purchase Cards are being put to good use.

The American taxpayer should be very proud.

11:34 am January, 25 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

It’s good to see that the rap world has left behind unflattering stereotypes and objectification of colored women.

11:40 am January, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

i made it 31 seconds before my That’s-not-even-remotely-hot/sexy/erotic meter pulled the gold plated pistol from the glove box of Rappy McRapsterbate’s Chavelle and blew it’s brains out.

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It’s not a race thing. It’s not an “I hate rap” thing. But seriously, who, or maybe what, would would get stiff over a woman on hand and feet (not knees, feet) shaking her ass like two water balloons set to go?

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My eyes are beyond degraded. They’re screaming “Rape”!

11:49 am January, 25 Hermit said...

This video lost all it’s credibility from the get-go. Women must weigh at least 250 lbs. to enter our local Wal-Mart®.

11:50 am January, 25 IL Douché said...

Ha ha you lames! IL Douché wanna thick and juicy piece of that bubble yo!! ‘Cauze I’m long, and I’m strong

and I’mma down to get da friction on. However, I do prefer Target.

11:58 am January, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

My Wal-Mart is like that , but only on Tuesdays when the blacks drive their Jaguar looking Hyundai’s and run amok with Tourettes seizures and booty shaking with matching hump slings.

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Anyway, that’s not true because there are only thirteen blacks in my town and they are all my various and sundry physicians, so we have to go to Ottawa to see those shenanigans from the Somalis that moved in about twenty years ago. They be gangsta tough now, yo!

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But as I tried to explain in malformed video number twenty -eight yesterday, my tastes swing more in the Mulatto direction. And this tasty Dominican is one fiery little mixed tart for the licking.

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12:10 pm January, 25 CB Popped said...

This is the first time I’ve ever made it the whole way through one of DB1’s warning vids.

I have to admit this. I shut the sound off and watched these women shake the pear.

Quite active pear in my book.

12:21 pm January, 25 Vin Douchal said...

Who says you can’t find a use for a third grade education?

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If Alessandro Volta knew his voltaic pile would allow people to power a portable device that could make this shit 200 years later he’d have jumped in a bathtub with it… b-zzzzt-tzzzztt

12:36 pm January, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

On second look those girls would be very useful to men with limited heart and lung capacity or for those with erection that have lasted more than four hours.

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Geezers

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12:41 pm January, 25 troy tempest said...

just looking at the video for 30 seconds gave me termites.

1:06 pm January, 25 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I hate you Boss. And the person that sent this in. I’m barely abl WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY!

1:21 pm January, 25 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

I guess anything I would say would be construed as racist, which we obviously don’t need in this high-brow forum, so I’ll just add that I can appreciate that the total cost of this video was zero dollars. Borrow Auntie’s Jag, pick up a few hoes from the neighborhood and have them shake ass in the store. Its almost brilliant in its simpicity, if it wasn’t so fucking stupid.

1:24 pm January, 25 Southern Scrotic said...

Sequel to this will be the girls in the kitchen jiggling their butts while making me a sandwich.

1:50 pm January, 25 Nancy Dreuche said...

Wow. Just wow. I’m still laughing. How come cool stuff like that never happens to me when I go shopping. My favorite part was the booty shake in the feminine hygiene aisle. This definitely goes into my why didn’t I effing think of this file.

1:55 pm January, 25 Nancy Dreuche said...

Note to self: if you try lingerie over bike shorts its cool to do it outside of the dressing room. Also, must learn hypnotizing booty dance to woo potential mates/victims. But do it in the auto parts aisle for maximum effectiveness.

1:56 pm January, 25 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

This type of shopping is really getting to be a problem. I was at Saks the other day looking for some Italian loafers (not the kind you find eating dinner at 4pm at Olive Garden) when these ladies came vibrating through the store like someone had put shake-weights into a water balloons filled with tapioca pudding. Mrs. Twittleton? Mrs. Chen-Smythe? I called after them, but they couldn’t hear me over the racket of their own lewd gyrating. They proceeded to try on lingerie, pulling it on right over their D&G velour sweatsuits, all without stopping the obscene whirligig. It was scandalous, I tell you. I blame the Obamas, because you know that Ronald Reagan, god bless his sainted soul, would never allow this type of thing.

2:20 pm January, 25 Southern Scrotic said...

See! See!

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That’s what happens when girls start using shake-weights as butt-plugs.

5:25 pm January, 25 Wedgie said...

Sir Mix-A-Lot shops at this WalMart.

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I cannot lie.

5:43 pm January, 25 FredN. said...

Rev. Chad is as funny as the Greggulator (WFMU Best Show reference).

7:42 pm January, 25 The Dude said...

Rappy fuccen McRapsterbate!! FTW

8:52 pm January, 25 Bret Easton Douchis said...

It’s the Booty Shakin’ Apocalypse!

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And it’s happening at the Wal-Mart.

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Almost as great a retail juxtaposition as that other great Red State Ballad by The Beat Farmers: Gun Sale at the Church.

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Now I must cleanse my eyeballs in hydrogen peroxide.

9:25 pm January, 25 Douchial Webster said...

I was rendered speechless by the sheer inanity of the video and the hilarity of the comments, until the mention of San Diego’s own Beat Farmers. RIP Country Dick, I ate your pizza and drank your beer at the original 9:30 club in DC circa 1985, and you didn’t mind.

1:09 pm January, 28 Beemers said...

That’s fucking gross you all… nothing sexy about this shit at all.. get a life and get a real girl!!!!!! NASTY

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