Monday, January 30, 2012

F#ckuhaterz responds to HCwDB

Musical afficianado F#ckuhaterz responded to yesterday’s critique of the melodic efforts of American Scrotelick in the comments threads with the following:

—–

Anyone who hates on this is a jealous idiot who probably f#cks his hand every night to the picture of his 300 pound grandmother! Expression of music is an art form it doesn’t matter who or what Is involved its about doing what you enjoy most! And none of you fags could probably EVER get a girl of that kind to even acknowledge your existence!!!!!!! So bathe in your bath of haterism and misery and try drinking some actright!!!!!

——–

Mmm… actright. It’s like Haterade. Only with more hegemony obeisance.

# posted by douchebag1
1:28 pm January, 30 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Does every angry response to this site have to contain bad grammar and a total disregard for punctuation ?

1:32 pm January, 30 jonezy said...

to wit, dear sir F#ckuhaterz, to wit!

.

Huzzah!

.

(PS, wow this chick is incredible on this post. More please!)

1:34 pm January, 30 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

and tool in the above pic is more concerned with looking cool for the camera than the fact that a semi-hot chick is lifting up her dress, grinding away on his crotch and doing the white man overbite dance face (which is actually a huge turnoff). What the f is wrong with these bags ?

1:35 pm January, 30 wonderdouche twin said...

I think my wife would take offense to being called a “hand”. Obviously my wife is nothing like this women. My wife is educated, has a good job, knows my middle and last name, has seen me in the daylight, even sober.

.

So yeah they are nothing alike.

1:47 pm January, 30 Edith Anne Tarbox of Dripping Springs Tx said...

can you mix up the actright like the purple drank?

1:53 pm January, 30 Skrillah said...

It’s easy to get a dime piece like that to look any guys way. Just flash her a Franklin and she’ll be on your fun stick all night homey…..

She’ll beck anybody for that green………………….

1:54 pm January, 30 Ohio FJ said...

Is this ass clown a fuck-buddy of Stackhouse?

1:59 pm January, 30 Nancy Dreuche said...

First things first Mr.Fuckuhaterz, I am a lady or at least a close facsimile thereof. Second things second, my Grammy is dead so thanks for throwing that in my face. Finally, attractive women acknowledge me all time, but in a totally platonic way. But its cool, because I enjoy the finesse de penisse. So suck on that. Also I thought Baron Von G’s response was the best one in that thread.

2:00 pm January, 30 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Man! I gots me an overwhelming desire to make some fudge.

2:02 pm January, 30 Nancy Dreuche said...

Oh yeah, one more thing. Is there a Diet Actright, because that’s what to momma should be drinking. What I’m implying is that your mother is obese or at least above her target weight.

2:06 pm January, 30 Mr. White said...

An interesting philosophical note to ponder: I think it’s safe to assume that the girl in the video was paid to be there, making F#ckuhaterz’s point moot, at best.

.

I guess we can assume that ActRight ™ ain’t no smart drink.

2:23 pm January, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

That’s Haterbaiting or my name isn’t Ernesto Wigglesworth Priapism III.

2:24 pm January, 30 Vin Douchal said...

I want to bathe in a bath of haterism. Sounds like the sulpur pit at Glen Eden

.

.

.

.

Did I say Glen Eden? I meant Glen Ivy. Nudists are weird

2:25 pm January, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Re: Pic. I would lift that dress just little higher… and by higher I mean it would get caught in the jet intake of a passing plane.

2:28 pm January, 30 Wedgie said...

That girl in the post above has some grade A-1 rackage. I am with Jonezy on this one; more pics must be sought out and published, my good man.

Top notch.

Regarding Jesse Hart’s rant yesterday, I have only one thing to say: You sir, are no T. Mills.

2:40 pm January, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That auburn-haired chick above with the boy sporting an undescribeable Vanilla Ice variant hairdo is one hot piece of Kroegergate.

2:42 pm January, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^And if you add two or three shades, depending on the lighting, cuase I don’t see race only sepiatones, that may be Leah.

2:44 pm January, 30 Baron Von Goolo said...

ACTRIGHT®! It has electrolytes!™

2:59 pm January, 30 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Hey wait one minute! If you were bathing in your bath of haterism and took a pull of Actright, wouldn’t that potentially kill you? I mean, I definitely know that you don’t go mixing toasters with bath water and I suspect bathing in haterism with Actright runs nearly the same risks!?

3:03 pm January, 30 Wedgie said...

I drank some ACTRIGHT several years ago, and it resulted in severe beatings administered to a pair of local white rappers. I was excused from the charges (or, one could say, I beat the rap) with a temporary insanity plea.

The judge, a father of three daughters ranging in age from 17 to 24, was sympathetic to my plight. In his dismissal ruling, he commented that in his opinion, I showed great restraint in “only causing one plaintiff partial loss of vision in his left eye, and rupturing the right eardrum of the other. After all, both plaintiffs lived”.

Yeah, ACTRIGHT. I gotta get some more of that.

3:27 pm January, 30 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The best ACTRIGHT I ever had was spoon fed to me by F#ckuhaterz’s mom after I finished banging her in a 16-hour anal sex session. Yep, there’s nothing more satisfying than being spoon fed ACTRIGHT after jamming F#ckuhaterz’s mom in the butt.

3:54 pm January, 30 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

The woman in the above picture has nice tits.

.

.

.What was the question?

4:02 pm January, 30 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Okay…so you forced me to go back and (try to) watch the video.

.

.

.Did anyone but me notice the dude smells his own hand around the 2:45 mark? What’s THAT all about?

.

.

.You owe me one, DB1.

.

.

.Batemans

4:52 pm January, 30 Jesse Hartq said...

Hey i love the attention thanks for giving me something to read while i was bored., at the end of the day.

i just got more hits on my AMAZING MUSIC VIDEO “RICH BOY” THANKS big kisses and lots of love.

“AND what does me being striaght or gay have anything to do with my music video” ITS 2012 thought that was 1990 talk…… JUST SAYING

do not get me wrong i do understand you DISLIKE my music video and ME thats fine.

and i only delete the comments on youtube if its offensive and dirty. if you just say you do not like it or it sucks or whatever keep it PG or at least pg-13 i would not erase any comments posted to youtube.

5:05 pm January, 30 Fuckuhaterz said...

For all u idiots this is a girl so that’s MRS to all you assumption ass douchebags!!!! HAHAHAHA MAKE SURE YOU KEEP UP ON YOUR ACTRIGHT!!!!!!!! P.S noone said anything about Hateraid but if you wanna throw that in go for it! But it seems as though you guys are already full on that! But it’s apparent that none of you in fact hate Jesse Hart in fact you all have grown obsessed since you waste all day obsessing over him! Keep up the good work idiots!!!!!

5:07 pm January, 30 Fuckuhaterz said...

Oh and doucheywallnuts go ahead and bang my mom have fun with that slut she’s probably looser than your mouth!!! HAHAHAHA never liked my mom so have fun loser!!!!

5:15 pm January, 30 tall guy said...

From the moment I read his first word he had me; by the time I finished reading his first word he’d lost me.

5:18 pm January, 30 Edith Anne Tarbox of Dripping Springs Tx said...

sorry jessie someone is putting Actout, in your Actright, and its making you Actgay, in fact i think they want you to be the spokeperson for a new drink 5 hour Activagina, fruit flavored of course.

its for when your girlfriend has ballet tickets, or wants to go antiquing,or go to a club that plays the music your music tries to sound like, but doesn’t have lucite loafered single mothers working their way through college.

with all due respect, i don’t think some abstruse argument about selling out, or artistic integrity, or career trajectory is going to convince anyone.

5:25 pm January, 30 Wedgie said...

I think fuckyouhaterz might be Demi Moore.

5:27 pm January, 30 tall guy said...

Can I bang your mom as well? Gawnnn! Let me bang her!

5:30 pm January, 30 tall guy said...

Yo! Wedgie, getting any waves? I’m under the pump work wise but may try for the early tomorrow.

Also, are there any waves at Santa Monica?

5:36 pm January, 30 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy, banging that dudes Mom would require you to actually make physical contact with her. Just making sure we’re on the same page in regards to what banging means.

.

@Jesse Hartq, for more cred you should probably spell the name of the guy you’re pretending to be correctly. I’m not one to spellcheck but…

5:38 pm January, 30 Nancy Dreuche said...

Oh my B fuckuhaterz is a Mrs. So tall guy, banging that chicks Mom means youre gonna have to make physical contact with her.

5:59 pm January, 30 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

On the upside, at least fuckuhaterz might be the first person in the history of the Internet to correctly use the word ‘looser’.

So you’ll always have that.

6:40 pm January, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

It’s not just you and your music, Jesse boy. I wish it were that simple. It’s the narcissistic, talentless, self promotional facet of our society that you represent. BTW, Rebecca Black beat you to this shtick. Hopefully the world is tired of YouTube poseurs.

6:47 pm January, 30 ehcuodouche said...

For those who want to read more about Jesse Fart, here’s his imdb bio blowjob.

Jesse Aaron Hart, was born in Olympia, Washington. His mother and father wanted him and his brother to have an education that revolved around arts, creativity and free thinking, so Jesse and Joel began their schooling in Waldorf and alternative public education.

Jesse eventually left school and gave the showbiz industry a chance. He got his first taste of limelight at a hometown pizza parlor during one family karaoke night. He sang Elvis Presley’s “I Ain’t Nothin But A Hound Dog” and surprised audiences with his talent. It was then that people knew Jesse might have a shot in the music industry.

During his teen years, Jesse was hit with a tragedy. His best friend, Travis, died in a tragic car accident. Jesse then realized that he had to take the risk of living each day to the fullest. Jesse also mentions that he feels Travis still gives him the courage to believe himself and his dreams everyday.

It wasn’t too long before great opportunities started showing up at his front door. Aaron Rosenburg, an entertainment lawyer encouraged Jesse to practice his writing and rapping skills. Jesse also began developing his presence on MySpace, where he started networking and increasing his fan base. It was on his MySpace page where he also started interacting with fans and getting feedback about his music personally.

After Aaron realized Jesse’s hard work, he introduced him to Lou Pearlman, one of the music industry’s “mega mogul manager” of new, young talent which included Justin Timberlake and Backstreet Boys. Within days of their meeting in Los Angeles, Jesse was already on the path of a successful career, or at least, that’s what he thought would happened.

Unfortunately for Jesse, Lou Pearlman was charged with several fraud cases. Lou had to flee the country and it became clear to Jesse that his opportunity to work with Lou eventually disappeared. After only a few years Jesse has managed to pick up the pieces touring Brazil with a revamped sound and and endless amount of opportunity in both singing and acting. Now an international celebrity, Jesse is living in Los Angeles pursuing singing and acting.

IMDb Mini Biography By: Anastasia Andrew Veno

Sounds like Jesse is bitter after blowing Lou Pearlman’s cock for a couple of years for nothing. Then he traveled around Brazil blowing cock (people in two countries knowing you blow cock = international celebrity) until somebody took pity on the rent boy and financed his sorry excuse for a music career.

6:52 pm January, 30 Nostradouchus said...

Actually, I’m fucking my hand to a picture of HIS 300 pound grandmother. TOTALLY DIFFERENT.

6:58 pm January, 30 Wedgie said...

@Tall Guy:

Not much action today. But nice & sunny nevertheless. I live in San Diego now, so I don’t know what’s up in Santa Monica. If I go up the coast, it’s Newport Beach for me. But I haven’t been up lately; work is kicking my ass. Wedgie Jr. has been getting all the waves lately. He’s a senior in high school, and gets out at 1:30 pm every day. Your tax dollars at work.

7:28 pm January, 30 Jean Luc Scrotard said...

HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!

I’d rather fuck my hand and my 300 pound granny than look like Vanilla Ice after he spent all his scratch!

Hey BagBOY! It looks like she has to show you where to put your hands!

Women will do anything for money! Even lets a toolbox like you touch em!

7:37 pm January, 30 Stephanie said...

Actually isn’t it about 37 days since another looser came forward and called us losers and haters? I can’t F##k my hand either damn it.

7:46 pm January, 30 Stephanie said...

I’m bathing in my haterism,and I am not miserable,I am clean and ready to F#ck you with my words.

7:49 pm January, 30 Mr. Biggs said...

Hegemony obeisance FTW. And checkmate.

.

Seriously, we’re hatten on THAT? At least pick something better to claim we’re hatten on. Sorry, that’s “we be hatten on.”

7:56 pm January, 30 soy bomb said...

Yo I’m such a hatter, I got a revolving line of credit at Lids® dawg!

8:00 pm January, 30 Scrotewank Jones and the furry furry Douchetrots said...

Anyone who uses the term “hater,” should be killed. Any white guy who uses the term “hater,” should be killed in front of their children. Another plague of our country brought to you by rap music.

8:21 pm January, 30 Wedgie said...

^Killed in front of his children. Nice sentiment, Adolph.

8:40 pm January, 30 DarkSock said...

Fuckuhaterz is so unconcerned about our rants that he posted here about, oh, a half-dozen times to tell us that.

Vanity Vid Hacks.

8:58 pm January, 30 troy tempest said...

Fuck – ya know – it’s like I finally get here at 11.30 at night and you fucks have stolen all the best jokes, and then – OMGLOLICOPTERZ – Jesse “I’m a pathetic third rate nobody making more cultural detritus of less value than the dead skin I rub off my ankle after a shower” Hart shows up and tells us to post criticism of him in a PG13 level on his youtube videos.

.

And THEN – hat trick / trifecta – lightning strikes twice – F#ckuhaterz shows up and pukes up a load of brain drool faster than you can say “bulimia”. Man, it just isn’t fair, cuz by the time I get here all the good mocking’s been done. As soon as I saw her spewing ACTRIGHT I thought of Brawnda, and of course, The Baron beat me to the punchline. Fuck, you people are quick.

So, now I’m just sitting here sipping Makers Mark and typing very poorly and wondering what to say to Jesse and the stupid bint who slags us as haterz.

Well, Jesse, lemme give you a very big important clue: “You’re Toast”. You’re done before you even begun. Yup, you’ve just scuttled any real career in music. How? Because you went right for the bullshit. Your music lacks originality, depth, and anything else of value. You probably wouldn’t know a G7 from a C#m for love or money. You’re a tool, and I can tell you’re tool because you treat others like tools. You’re a fake, and a twat, and you’re old enough to know better, but not smart enough to do anything about it. In short, fuck you.

.

And for the stupid cunt called F#ckuhaterz, lemme clue you in, little babykins – this is the deal: you are living in a fantasy world of cheap energy and resources. Stop licking your own G spot, pull your head out of your monkeyhole (thanks Rev) and get a clue. No one cares about you or your stupid little life, except me. So take some advice from a puppet and pay close attention cuz I only say this once to dim little twats like you:

Your life is over. Your looks will fade quickly. If you can crap out a sprog or two in the next 10 years your body will be broken and you will be stuck in Mommy hell as your culture collapses around your ears. You’re obviously one of the dumb ones, so you will probably look for someone to blame other than your own selfish ignorant self, so you will likely support some right wing jingo dickwad kleptocrat who will take your money and honour and sell it to the Chinese along with threst of your belongings, and you will die of exposure listening to the sound of a tent flap smacking against a pole on a freezing cold afternoon in some FEMA camp in Oregon in 2025. And the last thing on your mind will be “Rich Boy” by Jesse Hart, and you will cry, finally realising after all these years that you’ve been duped by Rich Boys who only wanted your money and your pussy and your life didn’t mean shit to them or anyone else in your greedy selfish ignorant culture that’s hellbent for Saturday as it spins down the howling vortex of history.

10:26 pm January, 30 Sir David Douchenborough said...

And you are just in luck Faskj;fdatz (I am trying to adopt your cohorts’ internet ebonics; please be patient), for like my colleague to the West, I too feel compelled to chime in despite all the wonderful quips and phrases.

.

My coda may be just a whimper, but in my magnanimity and morbid curiosity, I, like a barely adult fratbag tempted with a body shot by a hygienically questionable bar wench in Central America in hopes of later attaining physical nirvana, am compelled to dive into the miasma. It could be the Dangfield’s; I am not sure.

.

I don’t know if you noticed, but the perceptive BVG has already highlighted the difficulty of your logic. You may believe in the infallibility of your tastes to extrapolate, using tortured pop psychology, that the critics are of lower strata. That would be compelling to me to be sure, well, if I suffered from a botched lobotomy and proceeded to adopt the linguistic rigor employed by those fellows “in da club” you most likely meet. However, since I don’t, you may surprised to learn that people who mock others lead fairly fruitful lives, or perhaps, you dispute just how worthwhile it is for the likes of Mel Brooks to have received an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony. All that self-hating throughout the years does weigh on the faculties. I mean, he should have at least also received a Pulitzer.

.

Try as I might, Flakeyscatz, I simply cannot find any basis for the infallibility you ascribe to this ‘piece of music.’ From what I’ve seen, Antonin Dvorak or Gustav Holst did not on their deathbed exclaim, “The future of modern music lies in derivative repetition of motifs!” Mr. Elfman, Mr. Williams, or Robert W. Smith haven’t been able to confirm unless they like to bang bitches and drink with a sick beat in the tuba practice room.

.

Maybe I am not looking in the right places, but in any event, I can only surmise then that you are engaging in what I have come to have known as Starfucking. However, from I understand from its ecology and anthropology, usually that involves attaching yourself to somebody worthwhile or with the potential to be worthwhile.

.

I think you may have read that incorrectly. It is only later on in life in the “Starfucking succession” that such “Starfuckers” boomerang back to some suburb in the midwest or something. However, if the zenith of your dedication is but at this level, I fear you may find yourself stuck running a Sage Grouse farm and petting zoo in rural Wyoming with a fellow with whom you hitchhiked after your inevitable fall from grace.

.

It is in such a state, Flipperflappyskinfoldjackz, that you will look on with envy at the mating rituals of the Sage Grouse, rituals, which compared to the fatigued foreplay while watching Extreme Couponing, will seem to be the height of natural existence.

.

And thus, I implore, you, Flailinglabialolitickz, to broaden your horizons and know that it is okay for people to dislike some of the things you like. Who knows; it may actually instill some self-awareness and reflection.

12:59 am January, 31 PLANTS said...

We crave ACTRIGHT®

2:36 am January, 31 tall guy said...

what the fuck is Actfuckright?

3:46 am January, 31 Purple punguine said...

Actfuckright…… similar to hateraid but with less fame, you know similar to bottle water and the tap water in T.ijuana

6:51 am January, 31 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Fear is the path to the douche side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

7:12 am January, 31 Ferris said...

I have a question for f#ckuhaterz. Why did you do this post in F#? Something this dark and foreboding should be in a minor key,I’d say. Maybe E minor? I understand you’re a music afficionado, which is why I expected more.

8:20 am January, 31 jesse hartq said...

wow this is all????? i was really expecting more from you guys.. i mean. you use different words but you all say the same thing. so boring

comment when you get something new xoxo

8:26 am January, 31 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Can we all agree that that girl has a nice rack?

.

8:28 am January, 31 jesse hartq said...

What i am trying to say is

if your going to talk shit do it good. leave the person sad like you intended, and not ponder why your life is so stupid lame and boring and not in that exact order but you get what i mean.

be creative. just like you are not impressed with me. i am clearly not impressed by your lack of originality as a failed journalist or column writer for your school paper.

BE CRUEL GET YOUR POINT Across so you do not need to leave multiple comments :)

as i am sure throughout your life you have never done this. but TRY TO GET IT DONE RIGHT THE FIRST TIME :)

8:45 am January, 31 jonezy said...

^ I hate turtles

8:49 am January, 31 Fuckuhaterz said...

This is hilarious! People have no life I’m loving reading this!!! HAHAHAHA

9:22 am January, 31 jonezy said...

^ you strike me as the type unimpeded by the rigors of a daily regiment of cubicle work, where pontificating on the oft hilarious plight of young, preening pop culture ejaculate is one of the few pleasures afforded in your day betwixt the demands of your boss, wife and children.

.

In other words, it is hilarious, but certainly more of a normal life than whatever the hell you got going on.

.

Just glad you love reading this as much as the rest of us. Stay awhile, you might learn something.

11:34 am January, 31 Anonymous said...

As a long time reader this is barely even worth being mocked. I wouldn’t style my hair like that but other than that I can’t make fun of him. I mean blue jean and a white tee shirt is a long way from tribal tatts and Ed Hardy.

2:19 pm January, 31 Southern Scrotic said...

There’s a guy in the photo?

4:47 pm February, 1 Bret Easton Douchis said...

“if your going to talk shit do it good.”

.

Words to live by. Lord Thundering Jesus, tattoo that on my ass cheek, right next to the barcode and the RIF chip (or other accepted Mark of The Beast). It will mark me as one of The New Chosen People….first in line at that Oregon FEMA camp for my allotment of Soylent Green. (thanks, Troy)

.

Fuck you, jesse hartq. You have less to say than a gnat on the backside of the most mangy hound in the pound.

.

Sat through the autotuned P.OS. you claim as a piece of music for a whole 2 minutes. You don’t have the basic skillz to be the man who held the briefcase of the man who tuned Ray Charles’ piano.

.

Don’t get that one? Did I stutter?

.

Sure, I can accept that every age has it’s lyrical idiom, and the current one seems to have the collective objective of lowering pop lyricism to the level of pop Esperanto….even rural illiterates on the Congo understand the lyrics and grinder their pelvises appropriately.

.

RICH BOY, however, is the rancid cherry atop the tainted Cool Whip swirl atop a Fukashima parfait., in that regard.

.

I spent 120 seconds of my life watching this carp, retard, and I want that part of my life back.

.

Sure, “haterz gonna hate” (which knocks the shit out of The Golden Rule as a guide to life), but sometimes it is truly and utterly deserved.

.

Leave a Reply

What is 7 + 7 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)