Friday Haiku
Kate’s Hot Tub Findings:
Pour brown liquid in Tony,
Brown liquid poops out.
jet of hot water
prep for colonoscopy-
new use for hot tub.
— Troy Tempest
Kate’s favorite drink
Combo in the hot tub is
Always “Jack and Cocck”
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Seems there is a use
for handlebar mustaches;
foothold to drown douches.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Filthy, dirt-smudged bleeth,
Asks, “What would Jack Daniels do?”
Make him bearable.
— hermit
Drunken Hottub Nights
Skanks above the Vegas Hills,
This tub needs a flush.
— Mandouchian Candidate
Mustache rides are free
But are they really? Depends
On where you get off
— Jeff Nancy Dreuche
A young Rip Taylor
with his first girlfriend ever
this is why he’s gay
— Medusa Oblongata
Adding whisky to
greasy handlebar mustache
makes for toxic soup
— army (ret) douche
Part-time pool boy knows
Customers are out of town
Raids ‘fridge, fouls hot tub
— Vin Douchal
Salvador douch-i
Lusts for Anna’s paint pot, but
Clocks aren’t all that droop
— Mr. Scrotato Head
Captain Jack gets high
on own supply while bleeth gets
tgrease stains on left arm
— soy bomb
Kate never get spins
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.
— Nepo
jet of hot water
prep for colonoscopy-
new use for hot tub.
Kate’s favorite drink
Combo in the hot tub is
Always “Jack and Cocck”
We need Jack Dagnals
And more bacon strips for the
Epic Fail Time
Seems there is a use
for handlebar mustaches;
foothold to drown douches.
Kate has two guys in
Tub. She jerking camera
Dude with freakish arm.
Wolverine wiped his
Ass and streaked it on Kate’s strange
Shoulder hip. What is that?
Filthy, dirt-smudged bleeth,
Asks, “What would Jack Daniels do?”
Make him bearable.
Jennifer Hewitt
Fucks Inigo Montoya
Must have smoked a seed
Red poop in tub is
Not funny and it smells like
Louis C.K. jokes.
@ myself
.
way to go dumbass. Insert douche for douches.
Kate knows the only
Way to get fucked with leg-arm
Is get victim drunk.
Kate never get spins
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.
City recoils in
horror as these two frolic
in tub. Lights stay out.
Time-Travellin’ Tim
Lost his Penny-Farthing bike
Will ride tramp instead
Kate keeps filling him
with Jack so evidence points
to A.E.S.D*
.
.
.
.
* auto-erotic self-drowning
Chimney-sweep Jill said:
“I moustache you a question”
“How’s your Dick van Dyke?”
Tony blames small peen on
shrinkage but Kate knows better.
Inch worm hard-on drowns.
A conquistador
Has found lost fountain of poon
And stolen our booze
It would take many
more bottles of Jack to kill
all the STD’s.
Think green! Don’t bother
to wait to turn them into
compost. Oops, too late.
So Captain Morgan
Drinks Jack Daniel’s on days off
But don’t take a pic!
Hispano-hipsters
Smell like iguana dung and
Mescal filled urine
The silly pirate
Was soon on unemployment
TMZ caught him.
Porn success leads Ron
Jeremy Junior to
Hollywood hills poo.
Is everyone
Still asleep or what? Wedgie,
How’s Fucking weather?
L.A. in backdrop
Couple revel in escape
From brushfire in hills?
Bottle Service soak
Johnny Depp Douche Wannabe
Eyes Jimmy Snuka
Drunken Hottub Nights
Skanks above the Vegas Hills,
This tub needs a flush.
Mustache rides are free
But are they really? Depends
On where you get off
Whiskey outdoors
Water cleanses pores
Bleeth looks a total bore
Aw, damn you, Wedgie!
beat me to The Captain joke
now I need coffee
A young Rip Taylor
with his first girlfriend ever
this is why he’s gay
Jack Daniels’-fueled farts
are what makes this tub bubble
watch out for the chunks
City of Sodom
burns behind them; he looks back
he’s pillar of douche
Every day they fake it
They”ll fake it
The best they can
Drink this or tweet that
Cooked water with skin bits
Body wash
Adding whisky to
greasy handlebar mustache
makes for toxic soup
Part-time pool boy knows
Customers are out of town
Raids ‘fridge, fouls hot tub
Grease Stains don’t wash off.
No, not those on her shoulder.
I mean those two bags.
Skanky tub boils with
Soupy sludge that not even a
Canibal would eat
Santa Anna Winds
Whip flames through L.A. hills
Porn crew soldiers on
Uncle Tom’s Cabin!
He is Simon Legree. And
She needs more blackface
In another life
Greasy dude was my dealer
High times in Vegas
Salvador douch-i
Lusts for Anna’s paint pot, but
Clocks aren’t all that droop
bleeth of little faith
Jesus walked on the water
drank wine not whiskey
Tonight Jack Daniels
Is Encino-see Pourbon
Cesspool on the hill.
Hey stinky assholes
Get the fuck out of my pool
Oh, Hi mom, who’s he?
Captain Jack gets high
on own supply while bleeth gets
grease stains on left arm
No surfing today
Have workus interruptus
Still no fuccen cure
Her noticing the
fingerprint ink residue
might have saved her life.
Vegas pirate douche,
Definitely unemployed,
Grow the fuck up Kate.
Captain Morgan loves
His gay boyfriend Jack Daniels
Kate wants a threesome