Friday, January 20, 2012

Friday Thoughts and Links

Trustfund Asswipes at Miami lingerie parties with paid-to-pose hotties punch the Baby Tebus in the nads.

And that’s about all I have to say about that one.

But at least there’s Real World Champagne Katie Pier Pear to keep me hopeful.

Here’s your links:

Your HCwDB DVD Horror Pick of the Week: “”I was not pure. The teleporter insists on inner pure. I was not pure.”

Last chance to get in on the free HCwDB one-day NBA Fantasy Game that Draft Street is throwing in our honor tonight (cutoff to draft is 7pm EST). Help support the site, draft a team and check out Draft Street, and lemme know if you win some cash.

Right. Now. Loblaws is! Having a. Huge. Fro. Zenfood. Sale.

I’ll take Dutch Ovens for $800, Alex.

Rob Schneider participates in the classic Ugly Comedian With Hot Wife sitcom subgenre. Still beats the odious herpstercom trend with shows like “Two Broke Girls” and “New Girl.”

Hip Hop Flute. Played by a future hottie 15 year old Asian Design Major. The hat is douchey but the talent is undeniable.

The future of douchewear. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

In Russia, boob grab you!

Douchebag Merit Badges. Now if only I Could get an HCwDB iPad app designed.

Wanna play a game? See if you can spot the subtle product placement in this clip from Hawaii 5-0. Look closely! It’s subtle.

Lately, I’ve randomly become obsessed with 1970s-era Jacqueline Bisset. And by randomly, I mean boobs.

But you are not here for Wet T-Shirt boobs. Oh wait, you probably are. But you’re also here for Pear:

Updated Allison Stokke Pear

Totally perfect. And totally perfect.

# posted by douchebag1
12:41 pm January, 20 Wheezer said...

All I son’s strokke cockk…..? Uhhhhh, I’m not thinking clearly. Could be all the blood heading down below.

.

Between her and Jacqueline Bigset…..shit, I can’t think.

12:45 pm January, 20 The Dude said...

Allison who? 1000 whats?! Nice grouping there. I’m saving J. Bisset for Happy Hour.

12:50 pm January, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Loblaws bites worse than Subway. Donkey Punch hehe. Jacqueline Bisset, ye will be missed. Some of them just die to young. Pear….Nipples…..Hungry for pizza.

.

Kirks

12:51 pm January, 20 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I was particularly impressed with each slight boob jiggle that followed each grasping. That dude’s got stick-to-it-ness. And by stick-to-it-ness I mean sperm covered digits.

12:52 pm January, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

And Wedgie will owe me the bottle that Dark Sock sent him.
.
Cruzes
.
*****EDIT******
Reverend, you’ll KNOW if it’s the bottle of Maker’s I sent Wedgie.
.
Trust me on that. Heh heh heh
.
D.S.

12:54 pm January, 20 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

DB1 seems to have an endless supply of Champagne Katie pics, yet, not unlike a playground dealer trying to hook the kiddies without giving up too much product, all we get is the occasional, low res. taste of the good stuff.

.

Dragon chasers.

1:02 pm January, 20 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Stokke Pear has sent me into a masterbatory frenzy. And by masterbatory frenzy, I mean MASTERBATORY FRENZY!

1:03 pm January, 20 Douchble Helix said...

Nothin’ wrong with young heather Locklear hott.

.

Any chance of X-games skier pear? For the Rev.

1:09 pm January, 20 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Boob Grab dude must have some serious game. Either that or there is some truth to my suspicion that all Russian girls are secret porn stars.

1:14 pm January, 20 tall guy said...

@ D. McCrudeshoes, check and see what Dreuche thinks. She knows game.

1:20 pm January, 20 Vin Douchal said...

The truth is Putin was right behind the Russian boob guy banging every one of those chicks he fondled.

.

Sorry about the Rob! show. It was not funny. Nor was poor Chelsea Handler’s show.

.

Have to disagree with you on “New Girl”. This is the funniest new show on TV. Zoey D is hott and the three dudes all have their moments of comedy madness. They also had an episode calling out the “Schmidt” character by making him pay into a “Douchebag Jar”.

.

If you Hulu it watch the episode where she walks in one of her roomates when his pants are around his ankles.

.

.

.

Vaccuum sealed for freshness

1:29 pm January, 20 Southern Scrotic said...

I get gooey for zooey.

Russell Brand better stay away.

1:36 pm January, 20 Et Tu Douche? said...

Loves me some athletic pear.

.

I’m envious of Boob guys hands.

.

Hip Hop Flute girl from Pleasanton CA (one of thee wealthiest enclaves in the country) has way too much time on her hands and I bet her look goes over well in her gated community.

.

Agreed about 1970s-era Jacqueline Bisset but don’t get early 80’s-era Jacqueline Bisset wrong as she was the prototypical MILF in the movie “Class”.

.

Last but not least RIP Etta James

2:19 pm January, 20 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy, first off thank you for acknowledging me as an expert in this area. Second off, he has okay game and probably some cash or hell its Russia so jeans and white bread to woo his grope subjects.

.

Beat box flute chick is from the mean streets of P-town eh? Heard they just got a new Super Target and one time one of the employees didn’t change the TP when it was his turn. So yeah, pretty rough streets.

.

And :'( for Etta James. I rarely use emotions but when I do they’re legitimate. Except for my winky faces, those are usually sarcastic.

2:24 pm January, 20 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Vin,

Agree with you on New Girl. Very funny. Loved the episode where she and her boyfriend are trying to do it wild style and she’s in the string lingerie (over her delicates of course…this is network tv afterall), pulling the horrible Mae West female gangster accent and boyfriend (I forget the actor’s name but everyone would recognize him) is out of his element trying an accent of his own…James Stewart. “It’s like and erotic rope course.”

.

Very funny stuff.

2:38 pm January, 20 Wedgie said...

Who’s this Jeff fellow that keeps posting as Nancy?

2:45 pm January, 20 Douchble Helix said...

5:37 of flute girl and no happy ending? Me no likey.

2:55 pm January, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Douchable Helix

.

Thanks man. I am a fan and participant in ski/board culture as you may have noticed. So is Wedgie, the San Fran fan soon to lose his bottle of makers man. But he does his wet.

.

Anyhoo. Sarah Burke has been named as the 4th most boobilicious athlete and now she is dead. I try to find a link to post but I’m kind of drunk. She’s out there on the webs and she was hot and hard and cool. I sent 20 bones to help her husband pay the 550K of med bills.

.

Brainiacs

3:00 pm January, 20 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Wedgie, god damn it Wedgie, Nancy is Jeff. Jeff is Nancy. I am Sam. I don’t think I can make this any clearer. PS if you’re not rooting for our local sports team this weekend I will tell your Smoothie shop that you go to after surfing to discontinue your favorite Smoothie. Do not test me on this.

3:01 pm January, 20 Nancy Dreuche said...

And by rooting I mean rooting hard.

3:26 pm January, 20 Wedgie said...

I would pay good cash money to see you root hard, but only if you are a Nancy and not a Jeffy.

Reverand Chad Kroeger, you are talking up a shitstorm, you fuccen Canadian. I hope your crow-eating speeches will be as frequent and vocal as your pre-game taunting of my beloved ‘Niners.

Go Argonauts.

3:45 pm January, 20 The Dude said...

There’s something about Chelsea Handler’s show that when it sucks I get even more aroused, like I can rescue her or something.

5:05 pm January, 20 Ted Brogan said...

The lingerie girls can’t even *pretend* to put up with this clown, and that’s what they’re paid to do!

5:08 pm January, 20 Medusa Oblongata said...

Donkey punch. Heh heh heh.

.

Yeah. Ugly stupid guy with hot smart chick sitcom. Groundbreaking and hilarious as The Honeymooners. Kitschy and clever as the cartoon version of The Honeymooners in the stone age, aka The Flintstones. Fucking retarded in every incarnation after, worsening as time passes. I thought King Of Queens was really scraping the bottom of that barrel, clearly I was mistaken.

.

RE the Versace show: Anyone who would wear anything that was created by someone who looks like this has some serious perception problems.

.

Russian women, like the honey badger, do not give a fuck.

.

mammaries

5:26 pm January, 20 Nostradouchus said...

Chick on the left: Good body, but needed a new face, soshe got one.

Chick on the right: Obviously disappointed with life up ’til now.

Chick in the middle: Lost.

7:29 pm January, 20 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Looking at that “fashion” I could only think of one thing:

.

7:55 pm January, 20 Wedgie said...

The Chicago Redhead as usual is spot on. We’d call out Donatella as a tranny if you posted that pic and none of us knew who she is already.

Nice Honey Badger reference, too. My wife’s Over-The-Line team is mulling over the use of Randall’s Honey T-Shirts with the name “Honey Vadgers” printed under his picture this summer.

9:28 pm January, 20 Jacques Doucheteau said...

@ Medusa 5:08

.

Agreed. Donatella should not be wearing a leather dress. She looks terrible in leather.

11:05 pm January, 20 DarkSock said...

Jacques, Medusa:

.

Why did you post links to Keith Richard images?

11:26 pm January, 20 Sir Huddleston Fuddleston said...

She could vault my pole any day (she got like five inches over that thing — and I’ve got like five inches…).

11:26 pm January, 20 Mr. Biggs said...

Y’all can thank me for the Stokke pear by helping me organize a Stokke stalker party. Seriously. She’s a Sephardi Jewess, I’m a Sephardi Jew, she’s drop-dead gorgeous, I’m obsessed, what more do you want?

11:28 pm January, 20 Mr. Biggs said...

And it’s not like it’s gonna be easy. Her pics are basically on every testosterone-fueled stalker website known to man. And Medusa.

11:30 pm January, 20 Mr. Biggs said...

Oh, I also did pole vault for a year in high school. And I wasn’t any good at it. Women’s pole vault has to be the most physically gender-intimidating sport I can think of.

5:04 am January, 21 Donatella Versace said...

Zanks you dahlinks for using my goood zide for ze fotos.

5:05 am January, 21 Tim Tebow said...

Baby Tebus. Ha Ha.

6:05 am January, 21 SomeGuy said...

Glad someone else called out 5-0 for the egregious product placement. But the Subway bit was only the latest. Watch any car chase with trucks on that show – I sh** you not, they rip the grill badges off of the non-Chevy trucks/SUVs. Seriously, with the utter lack of attention to anything resembling detail in that show, they pay someone to do that??

7:59 am January, 21 Et Tu Douche? said...

Was not aware of this chick Allison Stokke, which is odd as I come from a track & field family. Thanks Mr. Biggs for sharing.

.

Pentathletes

8:06 am January, 21 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Mr. Biggs, please provide a list of these other testosterone saturated websites. I’m erm doing a study. You guys were my first, so at least you have that.

9:11 am January, 21 Benjamin Doucheraeli said...

@Dude Mc DB1’s stash of Katie pics isn’t even close to exhaustion (er, not that I’d know). Just spacing em out. Do like the crowd of John Largemans she’s gathered. Not even pretending not to gape.

It’s Boardwalk Empire Katie

9:14 am January, 21 Captain Canada Wants To Save Your Nation said...

You Fuckers have got to get a Republican (respect) in as your leader to get rid of this manchurian moslem bent on job stagnation and energy dependence. We have some nice clean oil that we don’t want to send to china. We are waiting for a while for you to take it otherwise it goes through the mountains to Vancouver, Fuck you west coast hipster protesters.

.

I’m kind of drunk cause that’s the way I roll. And I’m with Reverend Chad that the Giants are going to lay a thunderous beat down in hipsterville tomorrow night.

.

T. Boone Pickenses

9:16 am January, 21 Benjamin Doucheraeli said...

Well said, Captain Canada. All this other nitpicky stuff is as nothing compared to cheap oil for life. Not sure it’s posted here, though

9:28 am January, 21 Wedgie said...

^America’s Hat speaks.

1:07 pm January, 21 Nancy Dreuche said...

Re: Real World Champagne Katie Pear, Those are the people skills she was telling us about. I feel like such a bitch for being so condescending to her now.

1:54 am January, 22 Mr. Biggs said...

Dude if you really want a list of all the stalker sites on the web, all you need to do is Google Allison Stokke and it’ll give you a whole list of them. Some random geek blogger even pointed out that his traffic doubled once he put some Allison Stokke photos on his site. I kinda feel sorry for her really. Still committed to finding her and marrying her though. Did I mention I’m a UCLA grad? 😛

1:56 am January, 22 Mr. Biggs said...

Seriously, spandex was invented with bodies like her in mind. Such a perfect use of the fabric. I’m speechless. It’s like spandex poetry.

8:13 am January, 22 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Mr. Biggs, thanks I’ll check it. If they’re only half as funny as you guys I’m coming back though if you’ll have me. Also I’ve never really cared where a guy went to school. My main concern is where his heads at right now.

8:53 am January, 22 DarkSock said...

Regarding “Captain Canada”…now we know that RevChad is a heavy investor in Keystone.

.

.

.

Carbonites.

8:53 am January, 22 DarkSock said...

^And hemp products.

8:54 am January, 22 DarkSock said...

^And anything ending in “-aine” or “-one”. NOT that there’s anything wrong with that.

.

.

.

back spasms

8:55 am January, 22 DarkSock said...

Which reminds me…what’s the going price for a bucket o’ Lortabs in Canada, Reverend? I’m doing a…book report. Yeah.

.

Convo me

7:22 am January, 24 CB Popped said...

Donnatella Versace’s face scares me, always has. It’s surreal.

The future of douchewear = fugly, just phuccen pathetic.

Thanks DB1 for some of the recent pear, I enjoyed skanky pier pear.

King of Queens is badly acted and poorly written. It is a low denominator – the only reason to keep that show on TV is that lead actress’ ass. She has quality pear.

Personally, I think there should be a channel that shows original Twilight Zones, Outer Limits, and Star Treks 24 – 7.

Leave a Reply

What is 6 + 13 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)