Friday, January 27, 2012

Friday Thoughts and Links

Wrist Stud Collars.

Keeping wrists protected in case a medieval battle breaks out at high school keggers since 2008.

But Ananda’s large proboscuous boobtasteries perk onward until dawn.

And the lion sleeps with the lamb, knowing full well future babies will be adequately suckled.

Here’s your mostly 1980s nostalgia hued links:

Your HCwDB Book Pick of the Week: “I did a lot of drugs because I wanted to do a lot, I wanted to push all the way to the very very end, and see if I could die.” – Martin Scorsese. “Popcorn pictures have always ruled. Why do people go see them? Why is the public so stupid? That’s not my fault.” — George Lucas

Thanks again to Draft Street for the Freeroll fantasy game they threw for us last week. If you’re diggin’ the site as a sponsor, or won some of that sweet sweet cash with your mad skills, drop me a line. We might try to do another one when baseball season starts.

George Clooney looks amazingly young in his latest film, props to the entire team at ILM. (starts :50 in)

Five Horrible Life Lessons Learned From Teen Movies. So true. But nothing about how Aryans were more popular than you in high school?

Football player Terrell Suggs brings some HCwDB mock to the game.

Just think what America would be like today if they’d kept the original ending of First Blood. Rambo can still eat things that make a billy goat puke.

Anatomy of an urban thug. Answers a lot of questions.

Fratty douchebag asswipe runs for the Senate. Stay classy, Fratbrosephus.

Best Video of the 1980s. Celebrate its genius.

But you are not here to watch the DB1 continue to relive his lost 80s youth in Rosebudian fashion. You are here for Pear:

Ugly Ikea Sofa Pear

The sofa chair may be inexpensive and tacky, but the Pear is pure and suckle chomp.

# posted by douchebag1
12:46 pm January, 27 Wheezer said...

I love Sofa Pear. There’s nothing ugly that I’m noticing in that photo. It’s kinda like a “Where’s Walduglyfurniture?”

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“Look closely…..”

12:50 pm January, 27 Wheezer said...

Now, for the “blonde’s” boobies…..errrrr, ummmmm, speaking of her friends, actually: Is black hair dye the “new bleach blonde,” so to speak?

1:10 pm January, 27 The Dude said...

I’m not one to judge, and this thought has nothing to do with anything, anywhere, but — why hasn’t there been a porno called The Supreme Court? You know, everyone’s in a robe, with nothing underneath and the chicks are totally hot?

1:22 pm January, 27 UFO Destroyers said...

Anybody else notice once these pictures from “Thailand” with the rocks in the wine cellar started showing up, that we haven’t heard much from Medusa or Mr. White. Looks like the waiting room to the Playpen is filling up.

1:26 pm January, 27 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

The Pear is Back!!!

1:26 pm January, 27 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Ananda can barely stand upright with those magnificant cans.

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chiropractor

1:27 pm January, 27 Findertweet said...

All of this 80s talk is bring back memories of early shoulda-been-semitic hott and first Mrs. Ex DB1 hott Mia Sara.

Early Mila Kunis.

1:47 pm January, 27 Morbo said...

Ananda’s magnificent funbags have vampiric qualities. I think they’ve sucked all of the breastflesh away from her two friends. Those girls were both C-cups when they walked into that room.

1:49 pm January, 27 Nancy Dreuche said...

I come here to listen to everyone whine about the good old days, no wait I come here to make fun of everyone who whines about the good ol days. Please people, the 80s were nothing more than neon and Aquanet.

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@The Dude, The Supreme Court: Gavel Gang Bang 5 is something I might consider watching. Everyone knows they finally get it right on the 5 th try.

1:49 pm January, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Those are some tittie-fuckable boobs on blondie, even if she has tiny nipples and huge black areoli and those dark puss lips that some girls have, wait I like those darkish piss flaps and I mean on white chicks in this case FredN.

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I saw Rambo when I was 17 and amped up on Yukon Jack maple whiskey and mescaline, which I snorted of course. When I left the movie I was in such a violent rage I tripped the first girl I saw and pummelled her.

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That Genesis video was controversial as I recall. But I didn’t mind Reagan and Thatcher. Good time. I like that Ikea couch.

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Ecktorpfs

1:51 pm January, 27 Stephanie said...

Yeah,but Genesis still had Phil Collins in it,which is,you know, the same guy making bad songs in the 80’s which cancel out the all of the good things he did.

2:00 pm January, 27 Honey Badger said...

I got a great Friday afternoon stone on.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg

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80’s ruled Son.

2:00 pm January, 27 Wedgie said...

Wait, Rev. You snorted the whiskey?

2:04 pm January, 27 IL Douché said...

RIP– Robert Hegyes, an actor best known for his role as Juan Epstein on the 1970s hit sitcom “Welcome Back Kotter”, died this week

Enjoy a clip from Ep “The sweathog debate team” w/ James Fuccin Woods as the dbag debating coach!

http://youtu.be/WZmlBTgaLEIo

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Ascots

2:13 pm January, 27 Vin Douchal said...

Nah, I give Phil Collins a pass. Genesis was genius in the day’s before Gabriel , then Hackett left. Even “Duke” wasn’t half bad. Rutherford and Banks ran out of material and let the drummer write the tunes, hence the “Prog” dropped off their type of Rock.

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In that time they were huge. How many bands get to be innovative and progressive leaders in their genre then go pop with the same success? They still played “Cinema Show” and a lot of stuff off of “Selling England By The Pound” and “Trick Of The Tail”, monster albums, both of them .

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Don’t believe me, read George Starostin’s awesome REVIEW HERE

>

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2:22 pm January, 27 Honey Badger Kroeger said...

Vin’s right. Duke was a very complicated album. And pretty much the end of their progressive days. I have been trying to play the whole album on drums for 30 years and still cannot do it perfectly. The guys were still on the ball last tour a few years ago.

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Cobras

2:29 pm January, 27 Vin Douchal said...

Re: Photo above

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I see two dildos. The long one in Blondie’s hand and the one in the hat

2:40 pm January, 27 Vin Douchal said...

And,…. live Genesis shows had Chester Thompson. Chester Thompson makes us think of Frank Zappa, Al Gore’s reason for inventing the SG:

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2:51 pm January, 27 Mr. Biggs said...

“But nothing about how Aryans were more popular than you in high school?” salty fuccen tears.

I like tacky Ikea sofa. It means the pear is attainable.

3:09 pm January, 27 Vin Douchal said...

Then,… there’s the OTHER Chester Thompson…

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At the 1:00 mark the baddest badass to ever sit in front of a B-3 takes over:

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Garabaldis

3:24 pm January, 27 The Dude said...

Holy Crap, that’s good kaybee!

3:24 pm January, 27 Wedgie said...

^Righteous, Brother.

3:25 pm January, 27 Wedgie said...

^Brother Vin, that is. The Dude wins the Friday cocckbloccker award once again.

4:11 pm January, 27 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Vin

Thanks for sharing the Zappa & TOP. Where is that Zappa show from? As I’m sure you’re well aware Etta James passed last week and speaking of TOP here’s her playing a third set with TOP & the Grateful Dead NYE’s Oakland, CA 1982.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZeVC6DL3mc

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Turn On Your Lovelight > Tell Mama ; Baby What You Want Me To Do ; Hard To Handle ; In The Midnight Hour

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http://www.archive.org/details/gd1982-12-31.sbd.miller.77301.sbeok.flac16

4:16 pm January, 27 Et Tu Douche? said...

^Loves me some Hammond B-3

4:52 pm January, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Whilst I never was a big fan of Genesis I do love the Hammond B-3. And by that I mean I’d love to ejaculate on Ananda’s large proboscuous boobtasteries.

5:13 pm January, 27 dave said...

Is it just me or does the pattern on the ikea sofa have a vagina motif?

5:18 pm January, 27 Medusa Oblongata said...

I was just thinking about Genesis’ Land Of Confusion the other day. And here it is. Get out of my head, please.

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@ Wheezer: Stellar analogy @12:50. Black is the new bleach blonde.

Mall Slut, circa 1992.

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Mall Slut , circa 2012.

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Either way, it smells like old tuna.

5:18 pm January, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’ll be the first to say that I have no idea what an Etta James is other than I know she’s dead. Also, I would like to state that if it was not for fratbags and hipsters the three words I hate the most, The Greatful Dead, would never have been known. The greatest thing the Dead did was, through the untalent that was Cherry Garcia, was to bring Moobs and Ben and Jerry into the popular lexicon. Fuck Phish. My college dorm mates travelled with the dead selling bathtub dyed shirts and flunked out. The two months without them allowed me to breath the sweet smell of clean again fucking stinky fake hippies born in the mid-sixties. I have issues with smelly 19 year olds.

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Samson and Delilahs

5:29 pm January, 27 Sir David Douchenborough said...

This past summer, I had the pleasure of seeing The (funky) Meters while the younger generation were all clamouring around whatever quasi-New Wave band was performing further down at another stage. It was really a great performance.

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Sadly, since I was so young and naive in the 80s, I was clouded by all the playings of New Kids On The Block by my older siblings. Thankfully, they did like Genesis as well, which sort of balanced things out, though when I did see that music video back then, it reminded me a lot of Troll .. or…Legend…or….Labyrinth. Man, I cannot remember.

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Amnesiacs

7:06 pm January, 27 Wedgie said...

@Rev:

Well, isn’t this some shit. Can’t send your bottle; America’s Chapeau will not allow it. If I lie about the contents, customs will seize your package. And from what I’ve heard about you, your package has been seized enough to last a lifetime.

On top of that, UPS wants $130 to ship you a $50 bottle of Maker’s. That they virtually guarantee will not arrive, thanks to your thirsty Mounties in the Canadian Customs Dept.

So, here’s the skinny. I’ll send you the $50, and you can buy your own. Which means I’m stuck drinking the one with Darksock’s pee in it.

Ladies and gentleman, once again, betting on sports proves to be a zero-sum game. We should have wagered fuccen toothpicks.

7:22 pm January, 27 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

DB1 spent a lot of time in this stone age bomb shelter this week. Maybe he is telling us he needs help?! I hope not, because I’m at happy hour and that would be a total buz kill. If you are out there, DB1, don’t eat any curry and ask to see there is no package before you lay down the cash. Ask for long time, or you’ll get short time and that’s a rip. We’ll send help Monday, or maybe next Monday.

7:23 pm January, 27 The Dude said...

Geezum, poor Wedgie, livin’ the life on a Wedge, dang SON

8:07 pm January, 27 Douchble Helix said...

Anybody got blondie’s phone number?

8:22 pm January, 27 DarkSock said...

rwe

8:35 pm January, 27 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Retard pants and kimono shirt.

9:03 pm January, 27 hermit said...

Wedgie , I’ll keester that bottle across the border for you for $125.00 cash.

10:41 pm January, 27 Vin Douchal said...

Hot Chick with Chipmunk

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11:37 pm January, 27 The Dude said...

DarkSock: I’m willing to bet a lot of money that pic from 8.22p is taken in front of Beverly Hills High School. It’s really weird that I know this.

2:04 am January, 28 Nostradouchus said...

Another try hard Filipino. Notice the height difference.

2:36 am January, 28 Baron Von Goolo said...

I don’t care how ugly the sofa is. I just want to make soup out of it.

5:19 am January, 28 CB Popped said...

Zappa was an underrated guitarist,,,,,,,wait,,,,,so was al most everyone in the 70’s except Van Halen.

7:07 am January, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Wedgie

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Sounds like a lot of grief. Fucking tax and spend commie government here. Free health care is paid by sin taxes man. Email me a picture of the bottle and we’ll call it even. Cause I’m Canadian and polite and shit and you already went to a lot of trouble. Salty fuccen tears.

7:48 am January, 28 Et Tu Douche? said...

I don’t drink that much anymore and when I do I try to keep it to a minimum but last night I got my drunk on old school style. Dare I say The right honorable Rev Chad would of been proud.

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Lushes

8:18 am January, 28 Et Tu Douche? said...

As we all know by now the Rev loves him some light brown sugar which is a good thing. Lolo Jones comes to mind and by comes to mind I mean she’s HOTT!!!

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http://bleacherreport.com/articles/894791-the-10-hottest-female-athletes-of-2011/page/3

8:21 am January, 28 Et Tu Douche? said...

^ http://www.listal.com/viewimage/1164745

8:35 am January, 28 tall guy said...

Hmm, very nice, Et Tu Douche.

8:55 am January, 28 Nancy Dreuche said...

@ tall guy, any news on the cake front? Did you at least get off of home base and are slowly but surely walking to first?

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@Et Tu, I drank more than I usually do yesterday too, two mixed drinks AND two beers. Must be the weather. No cake though, so that was kind of disappointing.

9:21 am January, 28 Wedgie said...

@Rev:

Check is going out for $50; I pay my bets. Kyle Williams e-mailed and told me I must pay up on his behalf.

And, bonus: you get real U.S. American dollars, so with the conversion rate, you actually won $12,000!

Make sure you pay the taxes on it, which I understand is $12,050. Free health care, though.

9:28 am January, 28 Douchble Helix said...

^^^ Wedgie FTW!!

10:03 am January, 28 tall guy said...

Dreuche, the cake ceremony is this coming Monday night. It’s her yearly anniversary in the programme and if memory serves her years number 11 or 12 (details of this part of her life have been poisoned by testosterone). To be frank, I am not convinced of her credentials as a member. But ‘the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop…’ sorta thing. So I try and avoid too much airing of my (unhealthy) skepticism, which is sometimes referred to taking another’s inventory. I trust you’re keeping up with these cryptic ramblings, if you’re as neurotic as I presume you are there’s a good chance you’re presently denying both keeping up and being neurotic. Anyway, the cake ceremony: how ought I dress it? (me, not the cake that is); I’ve a new shirt (Feraud, French cuffs, a rather natty non-gay lilac stripped affair) which goes very well w/- a light grey, slim fitting (Italian cut) suit (it’s not a Douche skinny fit if you know what I mean). And flowers? Yes or no? Any change from my usual home group behaviour and dress might make me vulnerable or at least exposed. Plus she might not want the attention. This shit confuses me. I mean, I could just stay home and catch a beat.

10:45 am January, 28 DarkSock said...

Catch a beat? Does that mean what I think it means?
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I’m keepin’ that one…
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Eavesdroppers.
errehreh

10:53 am January, 28 DarkSock said...

This isn’t her, is it Tall Guy?
rbh

10:56 am January, 28 tall guy said...

That’s cool Sock, your input is always valued.

My aforementioned skepticism has been an ongoing thing for some time. In my home group there are a few I’d put into the doubtful category as well. I don’t hear too many bottles rattling when they share what they were like. Anyway, catch a beat, eh? You’re welcome to use it because as they say use it or lose it.

12:23 pm January, 28 The Dude said...

Off beat here.

2:49 pm January, 28 Edith Anne Tarbox of Dripping Springs Tx said...

keyboards have no place in rock and roll. if you never heard of the doors, and someone played any of their music, you would swear it was a parody band.

lizards

3:23 pm January, 28 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy, by this time you should have come to the conclusion that I am bat shit crazy, what with the alter ego (see aforementioned Jeff), my obvious peen obsession/addiction and my drink of choice, Tang. Clearly I have issues that stem from a perfect upbringing and healthy father daughter relationship. And to top it off when I was younger no stranger or family member touched me inappropriately, except for the creepy dentist who kissed me on the cheek when I was five. A balloon would have sufficed thank you very much. Anyway back to your Cake Ceremony attire delimna. Obviously she was sorta put off by the SMSsay that you sent her. So flowers would be overboard, plus it might cause you to wax poetic about flower shops and the mother’s teat and we’ve all seen the damage can that can do. The suit sounds fine but I’m a little unsure about lilac, then again I prefer earth tones. Show up at this cake thing, eat some cake, try not to say anything that would offend her ( usually when I’m trying to score some wang I keep my responses to a three word minimum. Works everytime.). Walk her to her car afterwards and see if you pick up any signals of interest from her like a giant wetspot immanating from her crotchal area. Unless she’s incontinent that means “Go!”. I’m hoping you can figure out the rest. And if she’s not interested, her loss, she can waste her life dating medium guy. Okay tall guy, I think I speak for the entire gang when I say, I hope on Monday night you put something other than cake in her cake hole.

8:42 pm January, 28 DarkSock said...

score some wang…hell yeah.

11:08 pm January, 28 tall guy said...

Dreuche, you’re so Knots Landing!

12:02 am January, 29 tall guy said...

Okay so i was talking to a girl from the USA today! An ex resident of Chicago. Been out here a year. Total babe! Married. Still, I opened, ran game, then departed. Long blonde hair. Packed into a pair of jeans. Cute accent. I’ll stick with the German but if this Queen of the West from the City on the Make weren’t married I’d be flaunting my BIg Shoulders at her make no mistake! Just saying’…

8:08 am January, 29 Wheezer said...

Re: tall guy’s 12:02 a.m. post – Medusa went blonde????? And is in Australia?

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