Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

9:26 am January, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Make it stop Boss. PLEASE make it stop. We’ll be good, we promise. Just no more of Captain MOBRO 4000, please.

9:28 am January, 17 Maximus Douchius Meridius said...

Forget the questionable belly area, did you not notice the 4-day armpit growth on this broad?

9:28 am January, 17 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Little known fact: In 1973 reality split. In our reality, Goldie Hawn graduated from Laugh-In and launched immediately into several starring roles in major motion pictures, earning 5 Golden Globes and an Oscar in the ensuing decade. In McPocolypse reality, Goldie Hawn never worked again after Laugh-In, and spent her time trolling Venice beach smoking discarded cigarette butts, begging for change, and occasionally blowing hipsters for weed.

9:42 am January, 17 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Here’s a neat little thought experiment… what happens to trustifarian Burlingtonites if you were to accidentally drop them off in say… downtown Kingston, Jamaica? Would their amazing laid-back personalities and rasta schwag carry the day, or would they end up fitted for petroleum filled, vulcanized necklaces?

9:47 am January, 17 Nancy Dreuche said...

Say what you will, but I think Courtney Love is looking damn good here. This guy is still gross. Just fucking gross.

9:57 am January, 17 Douchble Helix said...

Unexamined life or not, I think this guy is having one Hell of a good time. *His* idea of a good time.

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I would consider trading for that.

9:58 am January, 17 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

The Final Jeopardy! answer of “The person in this picture with the most STDs” stumped even Ken Jennings.

9:59 am January, 17 Nancy Dreuche said...

Don’t blow this guy for weed ladies, it is on the par with T.Mills and RevChad weed. I.e pencil shavings laced with Tylenol PM. C’mon you can do better. There’s a guy named T.Dawg who works at the 7-11 by my house who will accept cash for weed aaaand you don’t have to listen to his boring stories before he gives it to you. No fuss no muss.

10:01 am January, 17 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Sex with Grover McPocolypse is roughly equivalent to stealing a shoe from a hobo, removing the insole, and sticking the insole in your mouth and vagina.

10:07 am January, 17 Nostradouchus said...

I didn’t know Grover and Mick Jagger would make so great a couple.

10:11 am January, 17 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Sex with Grover McPocolypse is roughly the equivalent of cleaning out the grease trap at a Burger King and inserting the sludge in your mouth and vagina

10:17 am January, 17 DarkSock said...

Burning Groin Festival?

10:20 am January, 17 DarkSock said...

Sex with Grover McPocolypse is roughly equivalent to pulling the hind quarter off of a month-dead army mule (it should come loose with a lewd boot-in-mud sucking sound and disgourge a mass of what looks like yellow-white writhing living rice) and stick the hair hoofed business end 3″, no more, no less, inside of your mouth, vagina and unlubed asshole.

10:22 am January, 17 DarkSock said...

Sex with Grover McPocolypse is roughly equivalent to beating a lamprey to death with a purple jelly dong and forcing the jagged pulpy mass of it inside of your mouth and vagina.

10:24 am January, 17 DarkSock said...

Star-Bellied Bleethes like maps of Hawaii on thars.

10:29 am January, 17 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Sex with Grover McPocolypse is roughly equivalent to stuffing a haggis with toenail clippings, hemp seeds, and raw clams, and inserting the bloody mess into your rectum, vagina, and mouth, in that order.

10:42 am January, 17 Wedgie said...

So, basically, you guys don’t really care for the Burning Man Festival, is that it?

10:52 am January, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I fucked a girl with smelly hairy armpits and chlamydia once. Sixteen times.

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Man

11:04 am January, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Sex with Grover McPocolypse is roughly equivalent to playing a game of human centipede in a leper colony.

11:06 am January, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Jeez, you’d think Casey Anthony could come up with a better disguise. And that blonde she’s with is pretty trampy too.

11:09 am January, 17 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Burning Man is the most pretentious form of ass-wiper-y bullshit that ever infected upon a bunch of smelly, filthy, hideous poseurs.

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.It makes the Electric Daisy whatever feel like a weekend at grandma’s.

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.Other than that, it’s a great time.

11:14 am January, 17 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Wedgie, in theory I think Burning Man is awesome. But then dudes like Grover here tell me what its really about. which is getting fucked up and then subsequently groped by dirty hippies and RevChads. I don’t have to go to the desert and set shit on fire to do that.

11:20 am January, 17 Stephanie said...

Now,I’m starting to hate this guy a lot. Would you stop posting his photos? The smell is ruining my new laptop.

11:46 am January, 17 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

six minute separation in posts ? yeah I think you two are one in the same

11:57 am January, 17 Nancy Dreuche said...

@MPI, So what if we are? We’re not but, we do have a similar sense of humor and don’t give a shit attitude.

12:10 pm January, 17 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Burning Man AKA Poseurpalooza AKA Hipster-douchebags-akimbo… It’s not any one thing. As attendance has gone up and ticket prices have gone up, the number of idiots has gone up and the average intelligence has gone down. And I’d say any relationship to the original event is now at zero.

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They have many feel good principals. Here is what they currently mean in today’s context:

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Radical inclusion = any who would shell out up to $400 per ticket can contribute financially to Black Rock City.

Decommodification = Really? This must be a cynical joke. See aforementioned $400 ticket and lottery system to get one.

Self reliance = $400 buys you nothing. Bring your own crap.

Self expression = numerous nude parades.

Community = communicable diseases.

Civic responsibility = civic what? This must refer to the 1982 Honda Civics decorated with plastic dimestore crap. Sometimes refereed to cynically as Art Cars.

12:20 pm January, 17 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

refereed? referred.

12:25 pm January, 17 DarkSock said...

@ Magnum Douche P.I. –

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My post followed your 10:11 am post by 6 minutes…are we…

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Holy shit I’m having an existential crisis…

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Zen & The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance readers

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(I could’ve just said “Phaedruses” but it’d have been more obscure than a Goolo pop culture reference…)

12:59 pm January, 17 hermit said...

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance is the best non-chemical acid trip ever.

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Quality

1:15 pm January, 17 DarkSock said...

I agree, Hermit.

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Lilas.

2:17 pm January, 17 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

D.S., we can’t be the same, your posts are much more clever than mine. I just like to give Nancy-Stephanie some crap.

2:43 pm January, 17 Nancy Dreuche said...

@MPI, I will not cyber makeout with Stephanie. Wait, scratch that. I WILL cyber makeout with Stephanie, but ONLY if she is a dude with a peen.

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Standards

6:06 pm January, 17 Guid is Good said...

I always though Grover was the Muppet most likely to have a substance abuse problem.

11:42 pm January, 17 DarkSock said...

Guid, You’re insane; have you not seen Beaker, much less Gonzo, Animal and W. Bush?

12:32 am January, 18 Jacques Doucheteau said...

There is more scabies going on in this picture than I’m ready to deal with.

2:10 am January, 18 CB Popped said...

This guy is so dildonic.

8:40 pm January, 18 Stephanie said...

Sorry,no peen here. But speaking of dicks,Grover’s hat sucks.