Monday, January 23, 2012

HCwDB of the Week: Blender Barry and Boobster Connie

Last week saw a lotta crud.

There was EuroTimmy gets Lucky. There was the most garish Jesus Bling since Judas Iscariot threw out that bloody rag. There was squirrel vomit, choads at underwear parties and choads at underwear parties. And there was CokeBag.

We even had Champagne Katie gnaw.

But it was last week’s Blender of Societal Turd that offered the greatest dialectic. Those douchelips alone are enough to warrant significant societal mock. Toss in Boobster Connie’s confusing mix of librarian herpster stripper boobage, and the image was toxic enough to win/lose the HCwDB of the Week.

Oh, and congrats to the winner of the HCwDB Draft Street game, jrock6, followed by Notorious, dry99, bgriff32, and chitownhustler. Your humble narrator came in 10th.

Lots of great pics sent in to me over the weekend, so HCwDB is well stocked for a quality week of mock. But for now, your humble narrator gnaws an under-microwaved Pop Tart.

# posted by douchebag1
7:45 am January, 23 Eliza Douchecoo said...

BOOBIES!!!!

A little disappointing that there wasn’t a payout for 26th place. Oh well, at least there’s boobies.

8:15 am January, 23 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Like Barry here climbing the hallowed hills of Boobster Connie, a lot of people are going places they don’t deserve this malice-filled Monday. Newt the racist hypocrite finds a way to resonate with the racist hypocrites in the American South, and rides the conservative train to wacky town. America has been there before, and it seems a lot of them like it. Conservative losers get to think their god, gays, and guns agenda is being pushed while their leaders get to shovel cash into their pockets. It’s a symbiotic relationship between two scavengers. Very rare and unnatural, but there it is.

.

The hated Patriots arguably win, but it looks more like the Ravens prematurely ejaculated in their pants before they could consummate a win.

.

Then there is SanFran. Kyle Williams sucks. It’s a fact. But what about the coaching staff that didn’t think to bench his 1 flubbed punt return, no receptions, ass before he had a chance to flub a second punt return? Williams should be riding the pine on Sunday, acting as a practice dummy during the week, for the NFL minimum salary. Coaching Problem. <-capitalized because it’s a diagnosis.

.

What was McCrude thinking Friday? How do you pick 3 players who see about 2 minutes of combined playtime? 2 of those fuccers had big salaries too. I don’t care if their femurs are broken off and sticking through their livers, they should get their hyperthyroidal, overpaid asses out on the court and make me some money.

8:18 am January, 23 Et Tu Douche? said...

Was it me or did niners coach harbaugh act like a little bitch again during the brief post game handshake? oh yeah BOOBS fake but nice.

8:32 am January, 23 Wedgie said...

I hate football. From now on, it’s ice curling and synchronized swimming for me.49 guys kill it for an 59.5 minutes and one scrubby second-string tool undoes an entire season on two muffed punts. And he’s only playing because the regular guy is “hurt”.

How bad are you fuccen hurt now, you pussy.

Bite me.

8:34 am January, 23 Wedgie said...

Ok, now that I have lanced the boil of hatred for Kyle Williams, who I believe should instantly go into the Closet of Poo, I will address Gynochin’s cousin in the above photo.

Fuck you, Giants Fan.

8:43 am January, 23 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Wedgie, there’s always sex with women to fall back on during these tough times. As you know, my door is always open to provide guidance in this arena. And no it is not my back door.

.

Great boobies pic today DB1. The gang could sure use a boobster shot right now.

8:43 am January, 23 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Giants play in the Jerz. ’nuff said.

9:30 am January, 23 Vin Douchal said...

Brady played horribly. Was it the vaunted Baltimore defense and their attempt to injure on every play or just too much Gizzelle skank on Tommy Boy that eventually allowed the game to come down to a shanked FG?

.

.

I’ll take it. The Pats have two weeks to prepare for yet another Boston v New York showdown. The two most hated sports cities meet again in a game that everyone has to watch while not rooting for either.

.

I wanted the Giants the whole time bring ’em on. Revenge is nigh. Finesse team, my ass

.

9:32 am January, 23 Wedgie said...

^Hey Vince, your melon is on fire.

9:36 am January, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Connie would look better naked, with her turd button on my cock.

9:55 am January, 23 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Boobster Connie is an excellent choice.

10:24 am January, 23 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Steamy Black Guy Head!!!

10:43 am January, 23 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

You couldn’t pick two teams for the superbowl that I couldn’t care less about. Which is a shame because I love football. A forgettable batch of Giants and a Patriots quarterback you want to forget. Yes, I’m still a bit chapped about the Packers mailing in the latter half of the season, but New York does absolutely nothing for me and the Patriots are still confirmed cheaters in my mind. So f*ck ’em both. We’ll host our annual party at the Scrotato Head compound but I’ll focus on the commercials while eating and drinking myself sick during game time. And at the end we’ll all go “Hey, who won? Did anyone watch the…? No? Ah well, is there any shrimp left?”

.

Oh, and her librarian glasses are cheap $2.99 novelty glasses that say “Night Ranger 2010” on the right ear piece.

12:10 pm January, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Kyle Williams is a name that wasn’t in my vocabulary until yesterday. It is now my favorite but not that of his myriad fans sending him death tweets.

.

And poor Wedgie man, your team lost more than the

Giants won. The pain must be endless. The G-men may win the prize if Brady becomes a cripple. 9-7 can’t win twice by luck and happenstance.

.

All you hatters know that we go through this every football and hockey season. Go Habs. Be patient.

12:45 pm January, 23 Douche Boyardee's Cheese and Bagaroni said...

I got 6th place!

8:59 am January, 25 DouchYouWannaDance said...

DB1, you’re missing a growing Bleethy new trend I’ve pointed out before:

Glasses w/o lenses as a fashion accessory.

Leave a Reply

What is 7 + 2 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)