Monday, January 16, 2012

HCwDB of the Week: Grover McPocalypse And Sarah Lawrence Sarah

For bringing the rare hippie herpster doucher vibe, and for choke-throttling Heather, Grover and Sarah are a well deserving HCwDB of the Week winner.

And while Sarah’s Douchelips are the main detracting from achieving an enlightened hottie/douchey dialectic, her taut suckle pooch belly was enough to conceivably argue that her lips were merely caught mid-smirk, and she is not as Bleeth as it may appear.

However I realize that is sparse justification. Sarah’s Douchelips may cost this coupling in the Monthly.

Coming in a close second was Marty Deuce and Ripped Jeans Kelly, and Ashley’s Malignant Roadie Ass Tumor.

Yech. I hate malignant roadie ass tumors as much as the benign kind.

Last week also saw the horrifying Atlanta Herpster and inverted douche-shirt.

Not a good week for societal hopes for culture, class, taste, and aesthetics.

I just leaked on a piddle.

Time for Frosted Flakes.

# posted by douchebag1
7:28 am January, 16 Nancy Dreuche said...

Yeah, even though Stephanie would let him tap it, I say this guy still sucks. Also my Bob Marley called joke should NOT have gotten Comment of the Week. Comment of Day maybe.

7:35 am January, 16 Et Tu Douche? said...

Dreadlocks seemed to be a common theme this past week. While angry trustafarian photo crashing Tiny Dancer Maria still cracks me up Grover here is disturbing. He reeks of poo and by poo I mean Patchouli.

7:44 am January, 16 Eliza Douchecoo said...

He’s got the groin reveal down, just not the shaving part.

7:59 am January, 16 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Later, Grover was attacked by a band of old ladies armed with Fabreze.

8:10 am January, 16 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Somewhere, a stage full of plush musicians is missing their drummer.

http://images.wikia.com/muppet/images/2/23/AnimalReplica.jpg

8:50 am January, 16 Capt. James T. Douche said...

That dude looks like a smelly mofo!

8:54 am January, 16 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

You picked the right stinky fucker this week. He’s got the perfect Bob Marley-George Carlin- Rob Zombie-cliche douche face that I’d like to foot stomp into a bloody pile of putrid puss filled dreg shit bung that is almost as bad as watching 10 minutes of modernity’s current pustule of wretch, Louis C.K. Fuck I hate that fat pasty ginger piece of not funny..

.

Girls

10:02 am January, 16 Doucheywallnuts said...

Say what you will about your classic douchebags, but at least they were well-groomed. GROOOOMed. Tis guy represents a new and frightening strain of douchebag, as The Rev put it, Stinky Fucker Douche. Be afraid…

10:15 am January, 16 Mr. White said...

I take issue with the idea that Sarah’s douchelips/duckface is the “main detractor from achieving an enlightened hottie/douchie dialectic.” I feel that one could argue that her Leno chin and Adam’s apple and (not seen here) vestigal tail all argue as forcefully against hottness.

11:44 am January, 16 Wheezer said...

Someone provide enlightenment to a somewhat seasoned baghunter, if you would…..

.

What, I say, what is the allure of draping a dead giant spider between a hat and your head? It’s not like Indiana Jones brought back one of those in his satchel.

12:10 pm January, 16 Mr. White said...

@wheezer

Dreads are one of those things that some people can carry off, and many, many people mistakenly think they are in the aforementioned group. Like this guy.

1:27 pm January, 16 Mr. Biggs said...

I think this flavor of herpster douchebag is not much longer for pants. Between GSR and undie poke, it’s the next logical step to just run around naked flaunting their junk like alpha baboons.

1:35 pm January, 16 Joey Joe Joe Jr. Shabbadouche said...

Aieeeeeee! This guy’s already a front-runner for Douche of the Year.

3:37 pm January, 16 Sir Huddleston Fuddleston said...

To the women who should know better, like our own Nancy Dreuche (or maybe it was Medusa O.), who allowed that, though gross, this dude was bringing enough mojo that they would jump his bones, I say, Jesus, what is wrong with you women? If you’ll give this guy play, you’re never allowed to complain if men forever treat you like shit.

Observations have been made in alpha male societies like chimpanzees that the females will often steal away to the margins of the group to mate with the zeta males. Scientists hypothesize that it’s a kind of insurance policy against genetic drift.

Sounds good in theory, until you witness it firsthand. That dude is gross. Just gross.

3:47 pm January, 16 Wheezer said...

Sir H.F., I am going to guess that was Nancy, because Medusa would most likely stomp a verbal and physical mudhole in this guy’s head and walk it dry.

5:35 pm January, 16 Nostradouchus said...

Congrats to him, but he’ll have to shave his chest if he wants a shot at the Douchies.

5:37 pm January, 16 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Sir H. I wouldn’t touch this turd with Plinkys Moms gluehole.

5:58 am January, 17 CB Popped said...

One of the worst cases of GSR I’ve seen on this site….he doesn’t deserve her pickleslit.

8:28 am January, 17 Sir Huddleston Fuddleston said...

@Nancy D: sorry, it was Stephanie who uttered the unutterable. *Shudder*

8:52 am January, 17 Mr. Biggs said...

Seriously, herpsters like this personify the reason I don’t wanna go to Burning Man.

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