HCwDB of the Week: Tony the Curdle and Butt Pooch Adriana
From last Tuesday, this pile of rampant rhesus poo fling is all that is Olsen on a Monday.
Or, as W.H. Auden once asked a servant class school boy on a cloudy day in Birmingham in the 1950s, is there anything more annoying than douchelips on a puddlewhack?
Your humble narrator’s incoherence is a clue to deeper meaning.
And by deeper meaning, I mean penguin slap as a euphemism for third world debt crisis.
Wait,… My Random Tom Waits Lyric Generator was accidentally turned on. Sorry about that.
Last week saw Bleeth and Oldbag, Lobes and Greek Crotch Dance, Bathroom Douche Pics and White Trash Cuddle.
But none were billy goat slap quite like Tony the Curdle, or as tasty as Butt Pooch Adriana.
Chalk ’em for what’s shaping up to be a strong first Monthly in 2012, and your humble and confused author for Raisin Bran.
Those really are some bodacious ta-ta’s.
As always, great boobs FTW.
I still feel Wise Black Man Howlin’ Cats pain.
Wise Black Man Howlin’ Cat says, “Figures. Always givin’ prizes to these white motherfuckers. Oh, wait, never mind, dey deserve dat one.” [wails on harmonica as he slips into a dark alley]
Wise Black Man Howlin Cat wants to know why his vote (a pool cue to the groin) wasn’t counted.
I feel like there is some secret code hidden in Adriana’s holy clevite, but I can’t quite make it out.
Wise Black Man Howlin’ Cat won’t vote for any of them jive-ass honkies.
Wise Black Man Howlin’ Cat stores bath soap and love beads in his uncircumcised foreskin.
Wise Black Man Howlin’ Cat grinds asphalt with his toenails.
Wise Black Man Howlin Cat has already broken all of his New Years resolutions.
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with a steel pipe.
Rampant Rhesus Poo-Fling has got to make the list of new band names for 2012. I smell a new Douchie category brewing.
Wise Black Man Howlin Cat foresees The Rev’s Giants winning it all.
Back in the Stone Age…like 1973 or somewheres…Hef and his go-to, PG-13-rated wack factory featured a skinny Scandinavian blonde with giant naturals named Liv or Hedgarthe or something. Ever since those stained pages, we’ve had a weakness for willowy tufts of golden, silken strands upon a pale mons pubis….lying below preternaturally preeminent torpedoes.
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.We aspired to meet one of these beauties (or both of them) for years…but never bagged one despite hundreds of expeditionary pursuits — none, unfortunately to Iceland or Sweden.
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These days, we simply admire these delicious aberrations of nature from afar. And “from afar” we mean whenever we’re viewing one of these on a daily basis:
A Clockwork Orgy
A Fistful of Penis
A League of their Moan
A Midsummer Night’s Cream
A Penile Action
A Penis Runs Through It
A Tale of Two Titties
Alice in Penisland
All Hands on Dick
Ally McFeel
Almost Anus
American Booty
American History XXX
An Officer and a Genitalman
Anus the Menace
Apollo 69
Armaget-it-on
Ass Ventura: Smut Detective
Austin Prowler
Backseat Confidential
Ball the President’s Men
Bang Her Sisters
Barbara’s Bush
Bat Dude and Throbin
Battlestar Orgasmica
Be Inside Her
Beauty and the b**tch
Beaver and Buttface
Beaver Juice
Ben-Hur Over
Benny in June
Between the Cheeks
Beverly Hills 9021-Ho!
Beverly Hills Cock
Bi-Curious George
Bi-Dazzled
Big Trouble in Little Vagina
Boldfinger
Bone Alone
Bonfire of the Panties
Booty and the Beast
Bridget Jones’ Hairy
Buffy the Vampire Layer
Butch Lesbian and the Lapdance Kid
Charlie’s Anals
City Of Anals
Cliff Banger
Cockodile Dun-me
Colonel Angus
Coo-coo for Cocoa khocks
Confessions of a Candystriper
Crimson Ride
Fast Times At Deep Crack High
For Your Thighs Only
Foreskin Gump
Forrest Hump
Free Will Humping
Free Your Willy
Frisky Business
Gang Bang Princess
Gangbangs of New York
Genital Hospital
Little Oral Annie
Little Orphan Anal
Lord of the Cock Rings
Natural Born Thrillers
Night of the Giving Head
NYPD Goo
Oh Brother, Who phukk Thou?
Oh Cum on Ye Faces
On Golden Blonde
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Breast
One Spewed Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Phallus in Wonderland
Picnic at Hanging Cock
Piledriving Miss Daisy
Pimped By An Angel
Playmate of the Apes
Pleasureville
Pocahotass
Poke-’em All: The Movie
Politically Erect
Pornochio
Position Impossible
Pulp Friction
Pumping Irene
Rambone
Rambutt
Rawshank Redemption
Rear and Pleasant Danger
Rebel Without a Condom
Regarding Hiney
Remember the Tightuns’
Reservoir bi**ches
Riding Miss Daisy
Romancing the Bone
Romeo in Juliet
Rosemary’s Booby
Saturday Night Beaver
Saving Ryan’s Privates
Schindler’s Fist
Screw The Right Thing
Tailiens
Tales from the Clit
The Air Down There
The Bare b**tch Project
The Bare Wench Project
The B**tches of Madison County
The Bootyguard
The Cock
The Dirty Dozen Inches
The Dominatrix Unloaded
The Empire Strokes back
The Majesdick
The Nads-u-ate
The Naked Bun
The Next Penetration
The Object of My Erection
The Ozporns
The Pink Mile
The Porn Birds
The Pourne Identity
The Replacement Drillers
The Reproducers
The Rocky Porno Video Show
The Rodfather
The Screwman Show
The Sexorcist
The Sixth Inch
The Slutty Professor
The Sopornos
The Sperminator
The Talented Mr. Lickme
The Texas Dildo Masquerade
The Touchables
The White Stuff
The Whore of the Worlds
The XXX Files
The Yeastmaster
The Young and the Breastless
Thighs Wide Open
Thighs Wide Shut
Three Men on a Lady
Throbbin Hood
Waiting To XXXhale
Wet Dreams May Come
Wetness for the Prosecution
When Harry Ate Sally
White Men Can’t Hump
Who Reamed Roger Rabbit?
Who’s Eating Gilbert Grape?
Whore Of The Rings
Wise Black Man Howlin Cat whittles discarded Dodge Aries into Vespa scooters with his pinkie toe bunions
@ Choad DTS
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Yeesh ^
My favorite is Free Your Willy…or maybe Wetness for the Prosecution.
Wise Black Man Howlin’ Cat jams with Bill Clinton; they trade licks on his whore-Monica.
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sorry…
If Choad didn’t copy and paste that then the judicial system is stopped and all the Vegas restaurants must have closed.
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Exhibitionists
@Rev: yes, no and really no….they just always make me laugh…..;-}
@Choad, thanks for alphabetizing them. Almost as cool as my “I’d rather be fucking” bumper stickers I was thinking about making.
Jesus, Choad, that all you got? Amateur.
@Dude – plagiarizing and cut-and-pasting takes time!
….especially with one hand.
Fuccen Sprocket, you left Edward Penishands off your list?
The second-best porn movie ever made. You, sir, are no Al Goldstein.
Wise Black Man Howlin’ Cats technique for dry rubbing & subsequent slow cooking of Porch Beef is unparalleled.
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Fact!!!!
Wise Black Man Howlin’ Cat has 2 terabytes of porn just for the letter A.
Wise Black Man Howlin’ Cat plays a good Tele when he brings his A game.
Beaver and Buttface…ha ha ha