Monday, January 9, 2012

HCwDB of the Week: Tony the Curdle and Butt Pooch Adriana

From last Tuesday, this pile of rampant rhesus poo fling is all that is Olsen on a Monday.

Or, as W.H. Auden once asked a servant class school boy on a cloudy day in Birmingham in the 1950s, is there anything more annoying than douchelips on a puddlewhack?

Your humble narrator’s incoherence is a clue to deeper meaning.

And by deeper meaning, I mean penguin slap as a euphemism for third world debt crisis.

Wait,… My Random Tom Waits Lyric Generator was accidentally turned on. Sorry about that.

Last week saw Bleeth and Oldbag, Lobes and Greek Crotch Dance, Bathroom Douche Pics and White Trash Cuddle.

But none were billy goat slap quite like Tony the Curdle, or as tasty as Butt Pooch Adriana.

Chalk ‘em for what’s shaping up to be a strong first Monthly in 2012, and your humble and confused author for Raisin Bran.

# posted by douchebag1
7:10 am January, 9 Ohio FJ said...

Those really are some bodacious ta-ta’s.

7:15 am January, 9 Nancy Dreuche said...

As always, great boobs FTW.

7:30 am January, 9 Et Tu Douche? said...

I still feel Wise Black Man Howlin’ Cats pain.

8:12 am January, 9 Medusa Oblongata said...

Wise Black Man Howlin’ Cat says, “Figures. Always givin’ prizes to these white motherfuckers. Oh, wait, never mind, dey deserve dat one.” [wails on harmonica as he slips into a dark alley]

8:16 am January, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Wise Black Man Howlin Cat wants to know why his vote (a pool cue to the groin) wasn’t counted.

8:18 am January, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I feel like there is some secret code hidden in Adriana’s holy clevite, but I can’t quite make it out.

8:30 am January, 9 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Wise Black Man Howlin’ Cat won’t vote for any of them jive-ass honkies.

8:44 am January, 9 hermit said...

Wise Black Man Howlin’ Cat stores bath soap and love beads in his uncircumcised foreskin.

8:46 am January, 9 hermit said...

Wise Black Man Howlin’ Cat grinds asphalt with his toenails.

8:59 am January, 9 hermit said...

Wise Black Man Howlin Cat has already broken all of his New Years resolutions.

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.

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with a steel pipe.

8:59 am January, 9 Wedgie said...

Rampant Rhesus Poo-Fling has got to make the list of new band names for 2012. I smell a new Douchie category brewing.

9:01 am January, 9 hermit said...

Wise Black Man Howlin Cat foresees The Rev’s Giants winning it all.

9:05 am January, 9 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Back in the Stone Age…like 1973 or somewheres…Hef and his go-to, PG-13-rated wack factory featured a skinny Scandinavian blonde with giant naturals named Liv or Hedgarthe or something. Ever since those stained pages, we’ve had a weakness for willowy tufts of golden, silken strands upon a pale mons pubis….lying below preternaturally preeminent torpedoes.

.

.

.We aspired to meet one of these beauties (or both of them) for years…but never bagged one despite hundreds of expeditionary pursuits — none, unfortunately to Iceland or Sweden.

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.

These days, we simply admire these delicious aberrations of nature from afar. And “from afar” we mean whenever we’re viewing one of these on a daily basis:

A Clockwork Orgy

A Fistful of Penis

A League of their Moan

A Midsummer Night’s Cream

A Penile Action

A Penis Runs Through It

A Tale of Two Titties

Alice in Penisland

All Hands on Dick

Ally McFeel

Almost Anus

American Booty

American History XXX

An Officer and a Genitalman

Anus the Menace

Apollo 69

Armaget-it-on

Ass Ventura: Smut Detective

Austin Prowler

Backseat Confidential

Ball the President’s Men

Bang Her Sisters

Barbara’s Bush

Bat Dude and Throbin

Battlestar Orgasmica

Be Inside Her

Beauty and the b**tch

Beaver and Buttface

Beaver Juice

Ben-Hur Over

Benny in June

Between the Cheeks

Beverly Hills 9021-Ho!

Beverly Hills Cock

Bi-Curious George

Bi-Dazzled

Big Trouble in Little Vagina

Boldfinger

Bone Alone

Bonfire of the Panties

Booty and the Beast

Bridget Jones’ Hairy

Buffy the Vampire Layer

Butch Lesbian and the Lapdance Kid

Charlie’s Anals

City Of Anals

Cliff Banger

Cockodile Dun-me

Colonel Angus

Coo-coo for Cocoa khocks

Confessions of a Candystriper

Crimson Ride

Fast Times At Deep Crack High

For Your Thighs Only

Foreskin Gump

Forrest Hump

Free Will Humping

Free Your Willy

Frisky Business

Gang Bang Princess

Gangbangs of New York

Genital Hospital

Little Oral Annie

Little Orphan Anal

Lord of the Cock Rings

Natural Born Thrillers

Night of the Giving Head

NYPD Goo

Oh Brother, Who phukk Thou?

Oh Cum on Ye Faces

On Golden Blonde

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Breast

One Spewed Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

Phallus in Wonderland

Picnic at Hanging Cock

Piledriving Miss Daisy

Pimped By An Angel

Playmate of the Apes

Pleasureville

Pocahotass

Poke-’em All: The Movie

Politically Erect

Pornochio

Position Impossible

Pulp Friction

Pumping Irene

Rambone

Rambutt

Rawshank Redemption

Rear and Pleasant Danger

Rebel Without a Condom

Regarding Hiney

Remember the Tightuns’

Reservoir bi**ches

Riding Miss Daisy

Romancing the Bone

Romeo in Juliet

Rosemary’s Booby

Saturday Night Beaver

Saving Ryan’s Privates

Schindler’s Fist

Screw The Right Thing

Tailiens

Tales from the Clit

The Air Down There

The Bare b**tch Project

The Bare Wench Project

The B**tches of Madison County

The Bootyguard

The Cock

The Dirty Dozen Inches

The Dominatrix Unloaded

The Empire Strokes back

The Majesdick

The Nads-u-ate

The Naked Bun

The Next Penetration

The Object of My Erection

The Ozporns

The Pink Mile

The Porn Birds

The Pourne Identity

The Replacement Drillers

The Reproducers

The Rocky Porno Video Show

The Rodfather

The Screwman Show

The Sexorcist

The Sixth Inch

The Slutty Professor

The Sopornos

The Sperminator

The Talented Mr. Lickme

The Texas Dildo Masquerade

The Touchables

The White Stuff

The Whore of the Worlds

The XXX Files

The Yeastmaster

The Young and the Breastless

Thighs Wide Open

Thighs Wide Shut

Three Men on a Lady

Throbbin Hood

Waiting To XXXhale

Wet Dreams May Come

Wetness for the Prosecution

When Harry Ate Sally

White Men Can’t Hump

Who Reamed Roger Rabbit?

Who’s Eating Gilbert Grape?

Whore Of The Rings

9:07 am January, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Wise Black Man Howlin Cat whittles discarded Dodge Aries into Vespa scooters with his pinkie toe bunions

9:09 am January, 9 Vin Douchal said...

@ Choad DTS

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Yeesh ^

9:18 am January, 9 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

My favorite is Free Your Willy…or maybe Wetness for the Prosecution.

9:42 am January, 9 DarkSock said...

Wise Black Man Howlin’ Cat jams with Bill Clinton; they trade licks on his whore-Monica.

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sorry…

9:49 am January, 9 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

If Choad didn’t copy and paste that then the judicial system is stopped and all the Vegas restaurants must have closed.

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Exhibitionists

9:51 am January, 9 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

@Rev: yes, no and really no….they just always make me laugh…..;-}

9:55 am January, 9 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Choad, thanks for alphabetizing them. Almost as cool as my “I’d rather be fucking” bumper stickers I was thinking about making.

10:40 am January, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Jesus, Choad, that all you got? Amateur.

12:17 pm January, 9 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

@Dude – plagiarizing and cut-and-pasting takes time!

12:17 pm January, 9 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

….especially with one hand.

1:09 pm January, 9 Wedgie said...

Fuccen Sprocket, you left Edward Penishands off your list?

The second-best porn movie ever made. You, sir, are no Al Goldstein.

1:30 pm January, 9 Et Tu Douche? said...

Wise Black Man Howlin’ Cats technique for dry rubbing & subsequent slow cooking of Porch Beef is unparalleled.

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Fact!!!!

1:47 pm January, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Wise Black Man Howlin’ Cat has 2 terabytes of porn just for the letter A.

2:40 pm January, 9 CB Popped said...

Wise Black Man Howlin’ Cat plays a good Tele when he brings his A game.

8:02 pm January, 9 Stephanie said...

Beaver and Buttface…ha ha ha

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