Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Kevin's Adventures in Thailand

I’m pretty sure this story ends with a bathtub filled with ice, the smell of iodine, a bucket of horse spittle dumped over a rancid latrine, and the distant whine of a forlorn chihuahua who ate no noodles for dinner.

# posted by douchebag1
2:45 pm January, 25 Baron Von Goolo said...

You see, caw-rej boy?

Hayr so shinee!

Skeen so preedee!

And peenees so biddy-biddy, hoddree show adoll!

Twunnyfye dahruh cesh oh thuddy wiffa PayParruh.

Iss aw goo, caw-rej boy!

2:46 pm January, 25 jonezy said...

do you think he asked her out before or after she got done waxing his chest?

2:48 pm January, 25 Nancy Dreuche said...

Or they probably just went back to her place and he boned her in the foyer. The actual foyer of her apartment not her “foyer”. She looks more Asian than Persian to me.

2:50 pm January, 25 Nancy Dreuche said...

That is racist Jonezy. Not all Nail and Salon ladies are Asian. Some of them are Asian American.

3:03 pm January, 25 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Suckee fuckee fifty buckee.

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.Me love you loooong time Joe.

.

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.Me love you two times, Joe.

.

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.Me love douchebag money even more.

.

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.You pay NOW!

.

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.I give you clap later.

.

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.Pasteurs

3:07 pm January, 25 Vin Douchal said...

A frumpy dude with no chest follicles

Blows his tranny like licking on popsicles

Turns him around

Then goes to town

On digested Thai Fusion particles

3:21 pm January, 25 fatness said...

I had no idea they made a ventriloquist dummy version of a RealDoll™.

3:38 pm January, 25 Sir Huddleston Fuddleston said...

Those are some sweaty nipples.

4:09 pm January, 25 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Total ladyboy she looks like Lou Diamond Phillips for christ sakes!!

4:45 pm January, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I fukishima you long time then blow my cock tsunami all over you in sauna Zyzz.

4:46 pm January, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

If you can shove it up my ass to your elbow you ride for free yankee diddle.

5:27 pm January, 25 Ted Brogan said...

I can smell the cologne through my computer.

5:29 pm January, 25 The Dude said...

I took a huge crap once, looked just like that guy. Same smile even.

5:41 pm January, 25 FredN. said...

That chick is HOT.

5:42 pm January, 25 FredN. said...

Even with the areola sweat coming through the terry cloth dress.

6:39 pm January, 25 baffomet said...

That’s sure as smooth looking tranny.

6:44 pm January, 25 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Spreading western values a couple sticky ounces at a time. True story, for realz. Euro guy livin large in Asia meets a pay for play girl and exchanges phone numbers. By the next nite he has caught a bug and is puking his lungs up. Without thinking anything of it, he texts the girl about how sick he is. Over then next 4 days she visits him 2-3 times a day, bringing him meals and making sure sure he is eating and drinking lots of water. She never asked for a cent, never got a cent.

7:26 pm January, 25 Wedgie said...

Wow, and I always thought “dumb as a box of rocks” was just an expression.

7:57 pm January, 25 Geoffrey said...

crossing legs to avoid presenting the package.

7:59 pm January, 25 Nancy Dreuche said...

@McCrudeshoes 6:44p wait, so they never had sex? She just took care of some random for free?

7:59 pm January, 25 Geoffrey said...

battle of the bulge.

7:59 pm January, 25 Wedgie said...

It really sucks when your date turns out to have a bigger dick than you.

8:01 pm January, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

In the past 24 hours I have seen woe for my brothers in Canada’s toilet. A president without a clue or a cause spewing rhetorical nonsense and big government while hugging a victim of the tea party’s racism induced hate resigning because she just can’t think anymore. A new cake boss crowned, another Supreme Universal Queen honored on toddlers and tiaras, and ink wars on a network that a score ago used to try to teach people that there was something else besides Seinfield and Friends on the television before there were a thousand channels.

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A bellicose and vericose republican contestant on this years poitical wheel of fortune trying to get my neighbors to forget his many philandering and ecclesiastical inconsistencies by pledging to colonize the moon. And of course the tragic return of FredL and his one-pony anti-Reverend Chad travelling minstrel show. I’d give him dog and pony but obviously he can not afford a dog. Fucking guy has a one track mind. Life is a dream man, ball up.

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So it has come to this, the year of 2012, the year of secrets and speculation, that I put forth the manifesto of the ages, The Book Of Lenny. The Book Of Lenny puts forth that any sane-minded gentile person from our toilet be allowed the opportunity to travel to and mate with a Canadian Citizen, gaining full title to the easy tax code ,(you just don’t pay until you’re happy with it), and world class health care, (if you can wait for it) a job in the tar sands making upward of $200,000 per year room and board included (if you have any skill above changing a bicycle’s chain) and freedom of religion as long as you’re not one of those humanists or moslem or hindu or shit cause they eat children for mortal power fuck.

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It can all be yours for a one-time donation of $25,000 to the Reverend Chad Kroeger Family made out to CASH.

All contracts verified by Mrs. Kroeger, a notary public, and sealed with the Family seal. On cashing of the donation, the Mulatto of your choice will be available at an airport hotel in Ottawa. If a Mullato is not immediately available for your desires, Nancy Dreuche and FredL will be on standby at the nearest kennel. I’m wasted!

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Son

8:04 pm January, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^And by gentile I mean genteel. Sorry for any confuscation.

8:13 pm January, 25 Nancy Dreuche said...

@RevChad, I always get giddy when I make front page of one of your rants. Canada’s toilet, touché my out of touch with reality friend, touché. FredL is a sensitive pantywaste and I bitterly share my spotlight with him.

8:49 pm January, 25 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Dreuche, yep. That’s the truth. Sorry no pithy comment this time around. This Douche with his bored looking Thai friend for hire just made me think how they aren’t all bad.

11:54 pm January, 25 hermit said...

Stonewall Jackass & Mary Todd Chinkin’

5:17 am January, 26 The Dude said...

Release the stones!

5:18 am January, 26 Nostradouchus said...

6:19 am January, 26 Wedgie said...

Canada’s Toilet is a bit harsher than America’s Hat. Why go there? Now when you are overrun by Eskimos in revolt, who will save you? Celine Dion?

7:22 am January, 26 CB Popped said...

These DBs have to start buttoning their shirts.

7:32 am January, 26 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Wedgie, for a supposed chillaxed dude, RevChad is like the ragiest stoner I know. And I know my fair share of stoners.

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@McCrudeshoes, I refuse to join you in your open mindedness. How dare you! All douchebags are douchebags. All hots must be saved from them. Gah, its like playing cards with my brothers kids in here.

8:11 am January, 26 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Dreuche, I was not cutting the hott some slack, not the douchebag.

9:12 am January, 26 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

They turned the local landscape supply into a club ? Brilliant

Lou Diamond Phillips ! Right on the head Capt.

10:44 am January, 26 Wedgie said...

Rev Chad smokes weed laced with Anavar.

10:52 am January, 26 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

It looks like the defenses the rocks have built for themselves are holding up nicely. Now they have to decide whether to try to climb upwards or just hurl themselves at these two until they can form a kind of Tell-Tale Heart-type thing.

11:45 am January, 26 Mr. Biggs said...

remember to tuck in your nuts

9:09 pm January, 26 troy tempest said...

file her as a possible “most expensive date” nominee for next year’s douchies.

3:03 am January, 27 CB Popped said...

I know the Canadian National anthem word for word from watching so much puck.

Team Chara for the win.

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