Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Mitch Would Like You to Check Out His Demo, Yo

But not right now.

Mitch be throwin’ major game at his sister Tonya’s sorority bestie exchange student from Morocco, Pilar.

Pilar had never seen neck tatts back in Rabat. She finds them giggly and exciting. Like a Conquistador discovering Mayan gold upon shipreck in the southern moors, she chooses the wrong path, and the Gods do not approve.

# posted by douchebag1
1:43 pm January, 3 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Mitch has leprosy

thinks dusky hawt might cure him

will infect her too

1:44 pm January, 3 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Chintattburnstrap?

Tattburnschinstrap?

Ballchinian neck upchuck?

rusty trombonists

1:46 pm January, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Not having any tattoos I’m not sure how the protocol goes after entering a shop and expressing that I want my entire arm AND neck covered in them. Does it go something like “Yeah, just start at my fingers and I’ll point to stuff on the wall and yell out a color. Then I’ll say ‘Switch!’, point to another one and a yell different color until we get to my jaw'”. Is that how it goes or am I missing something here? It seems like that’s what happened in this case.

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Oh and Boss, Pilar’s delicate skin has been corrupted by a tram stamp. Oh the humanity…

1:47 pm January, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ Tram, tramp, whatever…

1:57 pm January, 3 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Doc B, hey happy new year. I await an epic declaration of love for Pilar’s mullatto glue hole from Sir Reverend Chadmonius. I knighted him while you guys were all out drinking.

2:02 pm January, 3 Vin Douchal said...

This guy looks like one of those very disturbing photos of an Auschwitz survivor, only in this case his serial number was tattoed on by fledgling artist, Einhardt Hartvigsen, later shortened to “Ed Hardy”

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His eyebrows were removed in the usual fashion, with a potato peeler

2:05 pm January, 3 jonezy said...

wretched purse ruining a perfectly good possibility for disembodied holy white triangle.

2:07 pm January, 3 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

I miss the days when a tattoo like that meant that you were handy throwing harpoons from a skiff pitching wildly in 20ft seas instead of working the air wrench down in the pit at Jiffy Lube. Still, Queequeg here has pulled himself a quality little MexiMelt here, so today I’ll tip my hat to him. Whatever hate I feel for his ilk is overwhelmed by the satisfaction of knowing that he will one day be completely unemployable.

2:11 pm January, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

These two fucking goes like this: “Yo tits are so round Mang.”….”You think yous gonna get all up in dis don’t yous homeboy?.”…..”Oh Mang you really wet.”…….”You have some protection don’t yous?”….”Dat feel good bitch?”….”Oh..Oh.. Ohhhhh..Poppy”…..”You know you want it!”…..”Oooooooh Poppy.

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Gringos

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2:14 pm January, 3 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

@Dr. H

Tramp stamp – A really bad tattoo decision. Looks bad on Pilar.

Tram stamp – What happens when a streetcar runs over someone. Wouldn’t look too bad on Mitch.

2:14 pm January, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

2012 is The Mayan Year of the Ear Button.

2:15 pm January, 3 Nancy Dreuche said...

Gents (and I use that term as loosely as Plinky’s Mom’s glue hole) what is the deal with tucking your ears into a baseball cap? Is this a thing, because it looks rediculous?

2:25 pm January, 3 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

The ‘neck’ tat goes up through his sideburns. He looks like rabbinical mayan gangster pirate.

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Pilar has bedroom eyes, and a delivery room belly.

2:28 pm January, 3 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Rev Chad 2:11p. Its like I’m in Spanish Harlem. Seriously though this chick is mullato with a touch of Octomoroon and a splash of quartcroation.

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If glue is made of horse hooves and someone was fond of peeing in said animal it is only natural that the new name for the pickle slit is glue hole. My question for you DarkSock, is there any part of the horse that is safe from your fetish? I’m working on a case right now and your answer could help me crack it wide open.

2:34 pm January, 3 Vin Douchal said...

Don’t tell me “The Bachelor” isn’t awesome, especially you fuckers that can sit through an entire episode of “Is She Really Going Out With Him?”. I’ve got a six year old boy watching that show saying that when he grows up , he wants to be on it. He knows fine bitches when he peeps ’em

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Monica and Hooter’s chick Blakely lezzed it up and I gotta say I was amused. And by amused I mean aroused, RRRrrr!

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2:35 pm January, 3 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

If Pilar isn’t a porn star, she sure has the makings of one. Very sultry.

2:36 pm January, 3 Doucheywallnuts said...

She’s giving the Puerto Rican Eye of Rhino Clit.

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Would you bang a robot?

http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/crux/2011/12/19/xenosexuality-consent-is-the-only-limit-on-what-sex-can-be/

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Xenosexuals

2:36 pm January, 3 Vin Douchal said...

Fuck you Huffington Post and the torturously accented hosebag you rode in on!

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2:40 pm January, 3 Et Tu Douche? said...

Fuck Mitch and his neck tatts. Now onto the good stuff. If you look closely in the background there is the potential for gash/panty peek going on and oh so slight inner boob reveal. I curse that white purse while I wait patiently for the gash/panty peek.

2:41 pm January, 3 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I’m sure he is going places with the multitude of career options that such a flagrant display of body art affords such an individual. You have but 2 choices and that is to do stand in work for Evan Seinfeld or a guest spot on Jackass inserting your whole body into the core of an MRI machine on maximum magnetic output. Kudos to you for the LA tracheotomy tattoo too, innovative yet retarded. Not sure what to make of this Bleeth, She carries in her face that strange exotic look inherent to women of the tropics as well as Trannies and Lady Boys.

2:53 pm January, 3 tall guy said...

She’s the type that’ll pose with an idiot (and she lucked out with this example of an extreme idiot) just for show’n’tell. That she does this with the folks back home is neither coincidence, insignificant nor lost on me. Next!

2:55 pm January, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^I was in a really foul mood with Day Four of the hangover lingering into a body flu until I read “torturously accented hosebag you rode in on.”

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Fuck I hate her and Al Franken and that show they had 20 years ago.

2:58 pm January, 3 tall guy said...

And him: a face that says approve of me and be correspondingly confronted or dislike me on a sliding scale of revulsion i.e. 1=not so much whereas 9=very much, which is, obviously, his preferred level.

Punch first ask no questions later.

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+ He’s probably gay.

2:58 pm January, 3 Nancy Dreuche said...

@DWallnuts, maybe. Why does everyone keep asking me that?

.

@Vin, the only way I could sit through a half and hour of Is She Really Going Out With Him is if RevChad mailed me all of his and Lenny the Box’s stash. No offense DB1, I hate ” reality” TV in general. Your website is still tits though. Vin, I’m glad you’re teaching your son the ropes. Its like my Dad always used to tell me “Every small boy should have an appreciation for fine ass bitches.”. And that’s when I would remind him that I was a girl. And then he would reply, “But you’re so much cooler than your brother.”

3:02 pm January, 3 tall guy said...

Yo, Kroeger! You holding up there mate? What about those Jeeves & Wooster style hangover cures. I think add anchovies, raw egg, salt’n’pepper, worcestershire sauce & tabasco to a glass of tomato juice. Bit of a pick-me-up i’ve heard. Never worked on me, but who knows. Perhaps Dreuche can give you some intensive care.

3:14 pm January, 3 Wedgie said...

That looks a lot like Daisy Marie, the pornstar. I will defer to Vin on this topic, since he is the Jedi master of poonery. But it would be in keeping with today’s theme, what with Jesse Jane and all.

And for the record, I like pornstars. They are vastly underpaid, in my opinion. No amount of money is worth a prolapsed rectum.

Show ’em, Rev.

3:20 pm January, 3 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy, really? This place is so mundane now you need me and Revetitus C to spice it up for you by hurling sexually charged

insults at eachother? What, the pics of extremely hott women like the one above just don’t do it for you anymore? Well they never did it for me either so it looks like we’re in the same boat. The boat that is the SS Plinky’s Mom’s Glue Hole.

3:21 pm January, 3 Vin Douchal said...

I was going to look up porn stars because I had the same sneaky suspicion about this PTP cum funnel being Daisey Marie ……

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But …….

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I found a nice little modeling reel of Bachelor 16 contestant brunette bombshell Blakely Shea instead since it’s semi-SFW

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3:48 pm January, 3 Stephanie said...

And Mitch’s demo sucks dick. Pilar will most likely do commercials for used car salesmen in New Jersey,unless she goes more professional and gets her head shots and actually looks for decent modeling work. She’s at a fork in the road and doesn’t need Mitch around.

4:26 pm January, 3 Nancy Dreuche said...

Hmmm…I wonder what Champagne Katie’s Rectal Polyp thinks about all of this.

4:37 pm January, 3 eyedouche said...

tall guy.

Your sliding scale needs to go to 11.

5:21 pm January, 3 The Dude said...

I would prefer to see Mitch check out.

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No deposit, no return

5:27 pm January, 3 The Dude said...

The thing about Pilar isn’t her body, or her personality, and mos’ def’ not her flesh tatt — it’s her accessible top. You could hang that top on a sack of poo, I’d prolly get tight in the pants.

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Fashionistas

5:41 pm January, 3 baffomet said...

Am I the only noticing Pilar’s massive forehead? Anyways, I’m sure it doubles as a sponge when she gets bukkake.

6:04 pm January, 3 Medusa Oblongata said...

Am I the only one noticing Pilar’s bloated, flappy gunt riddled with stretch marks like it’s a Rand McNally road map? Jeez, you guys. No wonder all these nasty-ass bitches dress they way they do, dudes think they’re hot regardless. Especially if they look like fucking trannies like Pilar. Yeah, i said it. I didn’t say she’s *A* tranny, I said she fucking looks like one. Apparently these trainwrecks are bringing sexy back. Fuck it. Medusa ur doin it rong, AND I’M GLAD.

6:16 pm January, 3 The Dude said...

@baffomet: Pilar’s fivehead is just the tip of the liceberg.

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RCK’s Ear Button FTW

7:11 pm January, 3 Turdacious said...

Marshal nothing mathers

7:37 pm January, 3 Nancy Dreuche said...

Am I the only one that misses HCwDB After Dark?

7:42 pm January, 3 Wedgie said...

My answer to Wallnuts:

Yes, but not if it looks like this trainwreck.

8:10 pm January, 3 Guid is Good said...

This bleeth has the sort of mixed background normally seen in pups from junk yard dogs on heat tied to chain link fences.

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Breeders

1:09 am January, 4 tall guy said...

Listen, Dreuche, let the record show that I find ‘the one above’ not hott. Stretch marks on her stretch marks? Phuleese!

So how about posting a photo, Dreuche?

2:05 am January, 4 Wheezer said...

DarkSock robs the cradle…..?

2:32 am January, 4 網上賭場 said...

she’s hot…too hot for him

5:07 am January, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Wedgie

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Porn filter preventing me from posting prolapse from Canada. Good news is its 20 below zero here and surfs up in SoCal.

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Get Stoked

7:37 am January, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy 1:09p, it would defeat the entire point I’ve been trying to make since day 1 on here. Also, what’s wrong with a little mystery to keep it interesting?

8:44 am January, 4 tall guy said...

Point being, Dreuche? I mean, you’re not a dude are you?

*shudders*

9:05 am January, 4 CB Popped said...

^Dreuche –

Ive worn a baseball cap my whole life since Little Leagee T – Ball.

Now I wear mine to hide hat head, and have some anonimity in the zoo where I reside.

I have never, EVER, put the tops of my ears under a baseball cap – for that is pure Douche.

Champagne Katie’s Rectal Polyp thinks it sucks too – I confirmed this with it via twitter.

9:33 am January, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

@CB Popped, thanks, I haven’t seen it in practice very much I was just wondering if it was intended to mean something. Thanks for checking in with CKRP, that thing is so busy it never returns my calls. I tweet it but I’m not one of the cool kids.

9:37 am January, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy, you’re just gonna have to take my word for it that I’ve got lady parts, and they’re not in my freezer. Just like a take your word for being a tall guy. You don’t see me asking you for a pic. Oh wait, nevermind I almost forgot about my open casting call for peen pics from all of you. You too Stephanie, don’t be stingy.

9:50 am January, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

I meant to say, I do have lady parts and unlike some of you mine are not in my freezer. There, that makes more sense.

10:43 am January, 4 CB Popped said...

Peen Queen was hilarious. 😉

8:25 pm January, 4 Bob said...

I was going to look up porn stars because I had the same sneaky suspicion about this PTP cum funnel being Daisey Marie ……

Vin was right it is the queen of the ebony poled human rotisary chicken act.

12:40 am January, 5 Whoop-di-douche said...

He is really unappealing, and by unappealing I mean, “Why can’t he just peel off those ugly skin tatts, and the equally unappealing face while he’s at it.” But then, her appeal makes his unappeal all the more obvious. HOT CHICK with utter douchebag. VERY HOT CHICK.

2:17 am January, 5 Nostradouchus said...

The tats are to compensate for the fact that he still can’t grow a full beard.

And those pink pants make me wanna knaw….

2:33 pm January, 5 Paultrial said...

That’s pornstar Daisy Marie.

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