Thursday, January 26, 2012

Mooby Mooby Moo

Too-tight t-shirts and moob reveal punch the Baby Tebus in both the frankincense and the mur.

Li-yen’s emotionally distant Hong Kong-born parents never bothered to be nice to her. And so she dates the Gwai-Lo.

And not just any Gwai-Lo.

Douche Gwai-Lo.

# posted by douchebag1
12:03 pm January, 26 Maxim Kovalenko said...

And meanwhile Li-yen is contemplating killing this douche with bamboo shoots in his eyes. I hope.

12:08 pm January, 26 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

She thinks he’s hot ‘cuz he doesn’t spend all his time in the lab like all those puny little Asian dweebs she grew up with…

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…Whose dry-wall he hangs during the day.

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.Maoists

12:14 pm January, 26 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I have a condition which doctors refer to as “yellow” fever which causes me to inexplicably napalm her guadalcanal with my yum yum sauce!

12:24 pm January, 26 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Hopefully she is just trying to appologize for her family’s dry cleaning biz accidentally shrinking his shirt.

12:24 pm January, 26 The Dude said...

She far in rove with Sum Dum Foo!

12:31 pm January, 26 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

WTF is with all the moobs? Did DB1 make a New Year’s resolution to slowly turn the site cypto-gay? Is he going to slowly acclimatize us so that one day we’ll just be looking at douchebags teabagging douchbags and never realize the format is very different from how it started out?

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Li-Yen has the knowing smile of the Chinese, ever confident that they have a couple thousand more years of civilization in their collective subconscious… and that one day soon the Chinese will be telling the round eyes it is now your turn to assemble iphones for 40 hour days at 30 cents an hour, and for your slutty round eye daughters and girlfriends to offer happy endings to rich Chinese douchebags.

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Masterplans

12:39 pm January, 26 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Dude McCrudeshoes, I would appreciate it if you kept MY master plan a secret. Can’t wait for Teabag Tuesdays and Felchy Friday Haikus.

12:40 pm January, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Mooby Dick?

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Does anybody remember laughter?

12:41 pm January, 26 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Twink:a gay slang term describing a young or young-looking gay man (18–23 age category) with a slender, ectomorph build, little or no body hair, and no facial hair. In some societies, the term chick or chicken is preferred. The related term twinkle-toes, which implies that a man is effeminate, tends to be used in a derogatory manner. The terms can be complimentary or pejorative.

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The term’s namesake is the “golden-colored phallic-shaped snack cake” Hostess Twinkie, commonly regarded as the quintessential junk food: “little nutritional value, sweet to the taste and creme-filled.” Cream is among the well-known food-related euphemistic terms for semen. In Queering Pornography: Desiring Youth, Race and Fantasy in Gay Porn, essayist Zeb J. Tortorici notes that gay twink porn thrives on the production and performance of “consumable and visually/anally receptive masculinity.”

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A twink is “memorable for his outer packaging”, not his “inner depth”. The golden color also alludes to those who are excessively sun tanned. The tanned, “blond California surfer” had been popularized in the mid-1970s before the onset of the AIDS pandemic in the early 1980s, which ushered in the notion of the gay male as physically muscular, clean-cut, and extremely healthy.

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The junk food reference has a number of connotations, including a perceived lack of intelligence and being ideal only for a short term, but not having lasting qualities or being very healthy. Most of these concerns no longer apply, as the definition of twink has broadened, and qualifiers (such as muscle or femme) narrow the meaning to a more specific type of twink.

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Twinks are often clean-shaven to emphasize a youthful, fresh-faced appearance, although many are too young to have beard growth. The term has been used by bears in a derogatory and pejorative manner In some cases, it is a neutral descriptive term, and can be contrasted with bear. Closely related (in the United States) is boi, although this generally represents a more feminine look or a generational way of defining oneself. The term is often modified by various descriptors, e.g., femme twink, Euro twink and muscle twink. The term is often used in the gay porn industry.

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There is a backronym that states that twink stands for teenaged, white, into no kink”, although none of these criteria are either necessary or sufficient to be a twink.

12:52 pm January, 26 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Dreuche, are you sure you are using the internet correctly? You have to be the only chick online who isn’t spammed 28 hours a day with unsolicited male genitalia.

12:54 pm January, 26 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Suddenly, I have more insight into the mind of Bunsen HoneyDouche that I needed…

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Hostess Ho-Mo’s

1:05 pm January, 26 CB Poppped said...

Quite a masterplan Dude McCrude, dont forget about the Red Army being hired to marshall law the streets of major US cities after the great fall.

1:21 pm January, 26 Findertweet said...

Why I love this site:

No one went with a lame, Dane-Cook-ish-like “love you long time” retort.

I thank you.

1:25 pm January, 26 Nancy Dreuche said...

@McCrudeshoes 12:52p, no actually things are slow on the peen spam front. I see more peen here. Plus I hate checking my email. It would just be easier for me if everyone adapted to my tastes. Anywho, Dr. Bs provided a nice breakdown on twinks so slowly but surely everything is going according to plan.

1:37 pm January, 26 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@CB Popped… nah, I see the US getting the economic smackdown. China will talk to some immediate neighbors about the desire for some more elbow room, I think.

2:02 pm January, 26 Twinks said...

For you Dr. Bunsen a full rimjob and anal for half-price homes. Juanita needs her crack. Please call 1-80D- ARK-SoCK.

2:15 pm January, 26 Wedgie said...

Shopping in the children’s department has its perks.

2:24 pm January, 26 hermit said...

I have no real objections to the site going all gay, complete with a Hall of Cockk, as long as it was done in good taste.

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Of course the “Closet of Poo” might take on a bit of a new meaning.

2:38 pm January, 26 Nancy Dreuche said...

@hermit, I mean just from general observation most of the dudes that comment on here aren’t having sex with actual women anyways so maybe a change of scene is called for. Just gayin’.

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I learned everything I know from a fourth grade bully.

2:43 pm January, 26 baffomet said...

Am I the only one noticing the recent trend of posting pics of trannys?

2:45 pm January, 26 Edith Anne Tarbox of Dripping Springs Tx said...

The real trouble here, is that she is his lawyer, this is the court house, and he is there to answer an animal cruelty complaint that he anally mounted a bull mastiff with a mixture of bubble gum, peanut butter, bacon and ground chiorizo loaded into his rectum.

bblue hose.

3:06 pm January, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Nancy

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I assure you that none of the posters and regular commenters here can be gay or fuckless. O fuck I’m too drunk but there are no fagoths on this site besides Stchhouse. And I give it to my wife whom regularly

I have been relatively faithful to except for my college friends wife, my single cousin, and my otjher cousins wife, Darl Sock gets chicks with his catamaran cat house. Wedgie is a surfer dude so he gots all kinds of beach action. And Baron Von Goolo has a dozen slaves hidden in his dungeon to do halloweenie things t.

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WSo screw you Pat Robertson! The faml unit surifes all sundry belligerence qa and intilerance with he bitcheds man.

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Son

3:29 pm January, 26 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Dreuche: I fuckin resent that inference. Some of us happen to be completely hetero and married and the only reason were not having sex with actual women is that we were stupid enough to get married and have kids and fuck the whole thing up and now have wives that have absolutely no interest in sex and would rather sit on the couch and watch Kardashian nonsense on tv or spend hours surfing on the netbook that I bought her, than have a sexual relationship with their husband.

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Bitter

3:35 pm January, 26 Wedgie said...

I am not gay, as far as I know. However, Mrs. Wedgie thinks I just haven’t met the right guy yet.

3:36 pm January, 26 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I find it interesting that I find Asian girls to be very attractive and at the same time do not.

3:37 pm January, 26 Nancy Dreuche said...

@RevChad, brilliant rebuttal, as per usual.

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@MPI, maybe you should have done a little research before you agreed to get married to a dumb bore. I mean I freaking hate Kim Kardashian and the only reason I go on the internet is to remind strangers and friends about how cool I am. So I got that going for me.

3:38 pm January, 26 Wedgie said...

PS: Rev, tomorrow your package goes out. I intend to mail it the absolute cheapest way possible, to aid in the aging process and thus further smooth out the product. If there was a wagon train pulled by squirrels, I would send it that way. Alas, there is not. Therefore, I will send it via regular US Mail, which means you have at least a 50% chance of getting it, and a 25% chance of getting it unbroken.

4:17 pm January, 26 Guid is Good said...

Sidemoob is the new GSR.

4:45 pm January, 26 McCrude said...

I turned a little gay just yesterday. Before that I had big time Game. I’m gonna need to pray myself straight again.

5:07 pm January, 26 USPS said...

Th Druink ans alsome magnificents The Reverenced Suirrel Kroeger will get his booze like he gets his longboards. Scratched and dented. Soms.

5:44 pm January, 26 hermit said...

Rev,

I think Vin is a fan of the odious and evil Pats. You guys should make a wager and keep the game of spin the bottle going.

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That way that bottle could travel through every time zone.

5:47 pm January, 26 hermit said...

^twice

5:59 pm January, 26 USPS via Rev Chad said...

Your fuarkin right Hermit. If I choose to go for the Giants and Vin is in. There is no reason to not send a perfectly normal bottle of Bourbon, witch I can special order here for $50 bucksto the East coast and complete acircuitus root of many leagues or miles or so or fucking shit. piss and salty fucken tears and all. My wife will cut my nutsa off if I drink browm licker anyhooses.

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Linkletters

7:11 pm January, 26 ChestBrah said...

It’s good to see that in the past 2 days real mean with real chests are being displayed. Push ups are good for you and your pecs as evidenced by the bro above.

8:38 pm January, 26 ehcuodouche said...

She’s probably Korean and not Chinese, but she’s hot just the same.

8:45 pm January, 26 tall guy said...

Li-yen has no tits. Mooby Mooby Moo has enough for her.

9:15 pm January, 26 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Talk about an unfortunate name…

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1170780100

9:56 pm January, 26 DarkSock said...

WSo screw you Pat Robertson! The faml unit surifes all sundry belligerence qa and intilerance with he bitcheds man.

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Dammit when is BabelFish going to get off their asses and provide a RevChad-to-English translator?

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$unz

9:58 pm January, 26 DarkSock said...

Awww man…Epstein from “Welcome Back Kotter” just died…

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Aging Demographics

10:05 pm January, 26 The Dude said...

I find it interesting that D. Wallnuts may or may not want to ejaculate on Lu-Yen’s torso.

10:31 pm January, 26 Anonymous said...

Dreuche, I may not be doing a lot of rooting, but it’s not through lack of trying. And it’s girls (or women) I’m talking about rooting, not blokes.

11:12 pm January, 26 tall guy said...

Hey, ‘nony above is me!

11:23 pm January, 26 mr.reeve said...

Man, the douche on the site never change. Carry on.

11:27 pm January, 26 mr.reeve said...

SON

12:13 am January, 27 tall guy said...

@ The Dude, I’d have no such dilemma re. evacuating my gonads; it’d be all over her angelic face given a chance.

2:53 am January, 27 CB Popped said...

^Crude, I hope so, I think I was quoting Henry Kissinger from 1973.

Magnum P.I. just set my biological clock back another decade.

Ah, that Dreuche…..gotta love the gadfly, always stirring up the pot.

Sidemoob sux.

3:53 am January, 27 Jacques Doucheteau said...

i REAlly dont’ know what’s goin on here. I’m so shit-faacesd ass0-crap drunk everything looks all wireed weirddd and disptorted.

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The bitch looks waaaaaaaYY asian and slant y eyed like asian chinese asian slant-eyed chicks look., and his bicedp looks like an over invflated penis with cock rinkg after onetoo many pupmps with the penis pupmp enlarger shit thingk o buuy ouy buy. fawk!

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O fuck – i’m so fuckking drunk fucked up rightnow it makes me shit puke out mu mouth with heavesof shit puke pissing spray.

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. I haite being in a bannd fawk! Plahing guitar gets you dr so drunk with Patron shots and falaming Dr. Peppppppers out my asss dick shit weeed1! MOtherfucker! rock and fuckacking roll you dickk shit asssssfuacks! erp. Fucck!

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Naoew i have the hicccups. shit.

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it’s yer foault muthe r fucker curucial heatd shit!

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damnist. da,n

3:55 am January, 27 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Fawlk@ fack shuit! Cn’at spell f-u-C-Kk, so drunks ca’n spll it!

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.fuxk!.

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5:46 am January, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That Jacques Doucheteau sure can slap da bass. And drink.

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Son.

6:25 am January, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

In fact, I may or may not want to ejaculate on Lu-Yen’s torso and may or may not enjoy it.

7:16 am January, 27 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

^Schrodinger’s spooge… you have both ejaculated and not ejaculated, as well as enjoyed and not enjoyed it, with the past outcome undetermined until some point in the future when you visit the doctor with and without painful burning.

10:07 am January, 27 DarkSock said...

well i’m glad i’m not the only one that got hammered like a 10 penny nail last night.

holy shit I feel like the newscaster on my old 70’s tv when the rabbit ear antenna would get fucked and there’d be two of him. I feel like the fuzzy one with the eyes that didn’t do what the real one’s did. You guys know what I mean?

ima lay down over here by my desk now

1:40 pm January, 27 Stephanie said...

Ramen Noodles.

1:55 am January, 28 Nostradouchus said...

He probably shaves his snatch too.

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