Thursday, January 5, 2012

Mr. Tibbs Shows His Nieces Adriana and Bonnie His Fine Corinthian Leather

Mr. Tibbs, like the 1975 Chrysler Cordoba, has seen a lot of miles over the past 36 years.

But until the tread falls off, Mr. Tibbs will keep on truckin’.

# posted by douchebag1
11:48 am January, 5 DarkSock said...

Why, it’s Ted (stomach) Turner!

11:48 am January, 5 DarkSock said...

Smokey and the AssLick

11:48 am January, 5 DarkSock said...

B.J. and the Bear

11:48 am January, 5 DarkSock said...

Welcome Back, Clotter

11:49 am January, 5 DarkSock said...

8″ Is Enough

11:50 am January, 5 Ferris said...

Wow. Paul Hogan has NOT aged well.

11:54 am January, 5 Et Tu Douche? said...

I’m diggin that hat

11:55 am January, 5 Et Tu Douche? said...

Burt Reynolds is cool in my book.

11:59 am January, 5 DoucheyWallnuts said...

That Stan Lee sure can pull some hott bleeths!

12:00 pm January, 5 DoucheyWallnuts said...

His D & B Combo looks like an old catcher’s mitt was crossed with an elephant ear.

12:01 pm January, 5 DoucheyWallnuts said...

BTW, my Aunt Sue and Mom had a three-way with Ricardo Mantalban in 1976.

12:13 pm January, 5 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

This is what happens you get roped into a New Years Eve party at Outback Steakhouse. Don’t ask me how I know, but trust me, you don’t want to be looking at these leathery old nipples when you are trying to choke down your blooming onion entree, which comes after your blooming onion appetizer, but before your blooming onion icecream. Try the blooming onion shiraz… it’s oniony.

12:15 pm January, 5 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

The Pimp of Outback must have rubbed some corn syrup on his nips. Draws the chubster hotts like flies, it does.

12:22 pm January, 5 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy’s bare chest grosses me out almost as much as Donnatella Versace’s bare chest.

.

Gad. It’s like she has a pair of premature babies on her chest.

12:26 pm January, 5 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Speaking of distended abdomens, pregnant male bodybuilders?

12:35 pm January, 5 Wedgie said...

^Now that’s some rich Corinthian leather, J.D.

12:51 pm January, 5 Eponymous Douche said...

Mr Tibbs is my hero. I have always been intrigued by the idea of wearing a feather, but short of having one stick out of my ass I could never figure out how. Now I know. Well done Mr Tibbs. Well done sir.

12:56 pm January, 5 jonezy said...

coincidentally I was watching Kahn last night.

.

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man-titties

1:07 pm January, 5 jonezy said...

Looks like the redhead is ready to play porch beef pinball.

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Jelly Dong Kong?

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One-eyed Centipede

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Asstehemroids

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Dong

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Rectal Invaders

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Missile Command – shit, that one was easy

1:09 pm January, 5 jonezy said...

Cervix Joust

1:17 pm January, 5 tall guy said...

In another time and another place Mr Tibbs was a Warhol superstar.

1:31 pm January, 5 The Dude said...

KAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!

1:41 pm January, 5 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

DB1: I believe its time to put up a disclaimer on the site indicating that some links provided by posters may cause severe nausea, retinal damage and / or thoughts of suicide.

1:59 pm January, 5 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Back in the early ’70s, after a stint as a mercenary working to infiltrate a leftist Turkish organization based in Soke, I decided to take it easy for a while and moved to Corinth for the summer.

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I had a small tin-roofed shack I rented for the summer at a cost of about 50 Lira. It had nothing in it but a cot, and a small crate to sit on. Sometimes I’d catch a fish and cook it over a fire outside my shack. Most meals I took at a cheap café nearby. Each morning I’d go down to the beach for swim and to bathe in the ocean. It was at the beach that I met Calliope. She used to sunbathe naked 3 or 4 days per week, and would often join me for a bottle of retsina; sometimes something more if she was bored. I was running low on funds for my evenings of retsina with Calliope, and so I asked her about finding a job for the summer. She told me to apply for work at the leather tannery in town because she knew they were hiring.

.

So the next morning I put on a workshirt and some jeans, and headed into town to apply. I was in luck. This was the only tannery in Corinth, and Chrysler had to buy a certain amount of leather from them for every car they sold. The story goes that the add guys had no idea what Corinthian meant. They just liked the sound of the word. But after some left handed Jewish lawyer figured out that Chrysler was just putting good ole’ American cowhide into their cars, there was a lawsuit, a settlement, and an unexpected windfall for the Koumos and Sons Tannery of Corinth, Greece. The Koumos family could not keep up and, sure, they would hire anyone willing to do a bit of hard work.

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Papa Koumos could tan a hide smooth as butter, but he had no idea how to run a business. His elder boy, Alexander, was the hard worker of the two siblings… sometimes actually bothering to show up. I never saw Olek, but I learned he came in at least often enough to skim some money from the shoebox Papa Koumos used as his accounting system. Mama Koumos was a huge brick of woman, didn’t speak a word of English, and was in a perpetual state of fret over the misdeeds of her two boys.

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I spent about 2 hours a day scraping hides and stirring the big vat of lye. That was considered a full day for anyone other than Papa Koumos, who was a workaholic and put in at least 5 hours every single day of the week.

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I had been at it for about 2 weeks when it all went to hell. I came in one morning to find Alexander standing over a bloody, battered, and naked young boy. The boy ran off as I turned to confront Alexander. “Hush,” he told me, “this is nothing for a Greek,” and some nonsense about how he was a mentor to the boy, teaching him about love and life. “Just don’t tell Mama,” he said, “you know how she worries.” That was it for me. I can’t tell you much more about my last day in Greece. But if you are driving a 1975 Chrysler Cordoba, take a good look at the seats. It might just a have a little bit more of the Koumos family Corinthian leather in it than you were expecting. I did a fine job on that last hide if I do say so myself. Every bit as good as Papa Koumos. Just don’t tell Mama Koumos. I’m sure she misses her sweet boy, but she’s better off not knowing.

2:21 pm January, 5 Doucheywallnuts said...

Hgh ruined bodybuilding.

3:26 pm January, 5 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

What in the F*CK is in his right hand? a dildo fleshlight?

3:28 pm January, 5 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

…I’ve often found it appropriate to brandish one of those whenever my nieces were around.

..

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.Humberts

3:36 pm January, 5 Nancy Dreuche said...

Well, he’s wearing a cross so he can’t be that bad. Jesus wore leather sandals and this guy has got a leather chest.

4:02 pm January, 5 Baron Von Goolo said...

Jacques’ link said it was Donatella Versace’s bare chest. It said it. It’s not like it was onfuscated in any way. I was warned. I knew what was going to happen and I clicked it anyway. Now I have eye cancer and it’s my own fault. Fuck.

4:03 pm January, 5 Baron Von Goolo said...

*obfuscated.

.

…….fucking wordpress…..

4:04 pm January, 5 Baron Von Goolo said...

THE TYPOS AREN’T MY FAULT! I HAVE FUCKING EYE CANCER NOW!

4:42 pm January, 5 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Donatella is way past ripe. My dad had a Cordoba with a liitle nub in the front seats rich hide. The only flaw on the leather of an otherwise very flawed car. It may have been the foreskin of that young Greek boy saved by Dude McCrude.

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Boyslammers

5:41 pm January, 5 Medusa Oblongata said...

The Yellowtail 2012. We can just put that one to bed now.

7:23 pm January, 5 Stephanie said...

Tan hide makum nice purse.

10:16 pm January, 5 DarkSock said...

Nope. That’s not Donatella. That’s one of those Scottish bog mummies they find from time to time in the old peat bogs.
sr

1:27 am January, 6 Jacques Doucheteau said...

There are few worse tanned hides out there, but there are plenty more esoteric tans.

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That’s no fine Corinthian leather. That’s rawhide.

4:29 am January, 6 Nostradouchus said...

Dundee went metro.

8:19 am January, 6 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Just so long as they don’t call him MISTER Tibbs!

5:38 am January, 9 CB Popped said...

I love the music of the Scottish Bog Mummies…

Theyre almost as good as Katie’s Rectal Polyps on acid.

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