Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Reader Mail: Backwards Baseball Cap Toolscrape

PIC DELETED

Kim snaps and sends in the following :

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not the clearist picture, saw these two at a DC bar. I’m pretty sure she is a gogo dancer and was smoking hot but this dude was a tool. He would give the rock n roll horns in every picture, steal other peoples drinks and make sure he was in ever picture with every girl. I can’t decide if the skinny jeans and backwards cap or pointing finger make him a bigger douche in the picture.

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On an unrelated note, “Real world bar haunting rock n roll horns giving asswipes with gogo dancers” was actually a sentence that appeared in an early draft of Henry George’s 1879 economic analysis, “Progress and Poverty.”

# posted by douchebag1
9:43 am January, 4 DarkSock said...

Looks like a still from “Night of the Living Douche”; I hope he ingests a cigarette butt from one of his stolen drinks.
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In a related note: Am I the only one giggling like a school girl at all the news reports this morning about “Santorum Surges from Behind”?
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How could they NOT know….
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Santorums

9:58 am January, 4 Ferris said...

Let me be the first to take issue with the writer’s classification of this female as “smoking hot,” unless he is talking about the burning sensation she feels when she pees.

10:08 am January, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

Alright, I know this suggestion is gonna blow the outhouse doors off of this stillery, but shouldn’t a backwards baseball cap unless you’re actually umping a real I’ve baseball game be considered autodouche? Or did I just strike out with that suggestion?

10:16 am January, 4 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@DarkSock, my guess is that news guys slipping in some double meaning, like “Santorum more palatable than ever” scores big points with the weather girl hotties. People will do anything for a chance to teabag a weather girl.

10:29 am January, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Michelle Bachmann slid out of the race faster than Santorum out of go-go girls felch hoop.

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10:36 am January, 4 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

Fast forward 10 years…

10:37 am January, 4 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

@Nancy

It would also be acceptable if you are a catcher, or a manager and in an argument with an umpire. Otherwise, autodouche.

Autopunchintheface if it is a mesh back John Deere hat worn in a setting where the nearest farm is at least a one hour drive.

10:37 am January, 4 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

Goddamn HTML. Let’s try this again…

http://allography.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/christian-bale-dicky-eklund-01.jpg

10:40 am January, 4 Vin Douchal said...

The photo says it all. I got nothing.

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Except, I hate this guy and hope he gets finger herpes.

10:43 am January, 4 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

This so called hott now has a permanent address in my nightmares.

10:54 am January, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

@CND, oh yeah, its the catcher that wears the cap backwards to accommodate that face mask thingy. I was gonna make a joke about catching and backwards caps and put a whole gay spin on it Santorum-style but I couldn’t come up with anything clever.

11:23 am January, 4 Et Tu Douche? said...

Dude McCrudehoes said:

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“People will do anything for a chance to teabag a weather girl”

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I agree wholeheartedly especially one of the Vin D’s Latina hotts that he is known to share on this forum.

11:29 am January, 4 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Somewhere in Hoboken that’s an 18-month old standing up in a crib that was recalled several years ago, staring down at the half-empty bottle of curdling milk lying on the floor. He doesn’t cry anymore because the One with the soft voice never responds and the One with the hard voice makes it hurt when he does. So he stands there, the weight of his sodden diaper pulling it down nearly to his knees, sniffing back tears, knowing that at some point the One with the soft voice will eventually stumble in, start crying herself, pick up the putrid bottle, and put it in his mouth before staggering of to have a shouting match with the One with the hard voice.

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Episode One, Season Two, “The Real Chicks-who-were-hot-in-high-school-and-thought-their-looks-would-earn-them-a-cushy-life-with-a-hot-guy-but-who-now-have-to-strip-to-pay-the-rent-and-feed-their-bastard-children of Hoboken”

11:30 am January, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Et Tu, which one? Another baseball question for you guys. If a game goes into super extra innings is there an additional stretch like the one in the 7th inning? I’m talking about like a 90 inning game here.

11:32 am January, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Scrotato Head FTW.

11:38 am January, 4 The Dude said...

This guy belongs in Turdgatory — a place for losers who don’t qualify for the Closet of Poo.

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A leak from a Santorum source can provide quite a juicy tail.

11:45 am January, 4 Et Tu Douche? said...

Apropos of nothing and in honor of yesterdays Wise Black Man Howlin’ Cat this kicks ass!!!!!

11:55 am January, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Et Tu 11:45a indeed it did. Great jam.

12:01 pm January, 4 schlicht bindenburger said...

the cure for the drink stealin skidmark is the laxative spiked girly cocktail which they covet!

12:02 pm January, 4 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Et Tu Douche?

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Smoking jam. Must put the tator tots down in front of this to remind them what real music is and that Pit Bull is a low-talent money hungry douchebag.

12:02 pm January, 4 Capt. James T. Douche said...

If it is something I’ve noticed about douche culture it is no one douche likes to be out-douched by another. Plus most douches tend to be very clannish and form groups. What did we decide a group of douches is again? I went with a cancre of douches myself but feel free to call them what you will. Judging by the write up of how this douche was behaving he has a hugely inflated sense of self importance and in his mind is invincible and he is probably a rogue free range douche traveling solo. He thinks too highly of himself to travel with others it would take attention away from him. At some point during the evening he probably stole the wrong drink belonging to a Bleeth or got a little too grabby on the fun bags of one of the gogo dancers who merrily does the wiggle dance on the preened and axe scented cock of a roided up Jersey shore gorilla douche who is either there with his cancre or in the grand tradition of douches moonlighting as a bouncer at the club. And from there the rest is douche history bouncer/roid douche and the other members of his cancre gladly removed him from the premises by using his head to open the door (which I personally would really enjoy seeing).

12:10 pm January, 4 Et Tu Douche? said...

Anyone notice in that vid a young John Lee Hooker?.

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12:35 pm January, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Capt JT, I thought we agreed that a group of douches was called the NBA.

1:06 pm January, 4 Wedgie said...

Socck, that gives new meaning to the phrase “Iowa Surprise”.

Which could also be the name of his band.

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That girl in the pic above looks like a “don’t go-go” dancer to me. But what the hell do I know? I still think Tori Black is a virgin.

2:04 pm January, 4 Jeet Kune Douche said...

I would be honored if Go-Go Julie granted me the attention of kicking me in the ballz.

As for backasshat punk: YO, SONNY – DELIVERIES ARE OUT BACK.

2:15 pm January, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

If you have a penis (no matter how small or diseased) and you own a pair of “skinny jeans”, being a douche is the least of your problems.

10:24 pm January, 4 Stephanie said...

He’s just looks like a more social bar scene-making serial killer to me. Those eyes say it all Kimmy.

10:38 pm January, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

She is poo. He is too.

12:50 am January, 5 Whoop-di-douche said...

Whoever threw her the raspberries, she sure got a leg (and pooch) on it.

I only mention that because they are tighter than his skinny jeans, er, uh, peg pants.

2:21 am January, 5 Nostradouchus said...

He rolled up the sleeves on his jacket. Don Johnsdouche.

3:04 pm January, 5 d0uchiedouch said...

Bahahaha whata loser

3:23 pm January, 5 Chris said...

I don’t know whats funnier, a pic of my friends being put on this site or you guys posting blatantly ignorant comments.

3:46 pm January, 5 Nichole giguiere said...

I didn’t think I would see my friend on here either or why she took the time to pose for a picture with that loser… But she is NOT a gogo dancer, nor is this the 70’s where that is even still popular. She must have been wearing beer goggles to even stop and say hi to him..

4:29 pm January, 5 Leesburgcrew said...

hey, he might be a douchebag, and he is definitely a huge tool, but he is our douchebag. And she fucks with him and has for awhile so if u were really her friend u would know that u stuck up cunt.

5:04 pm January, 5 :) said...

She looks like a tranny

5:45 pm January, 5 Nadine said...

Hahahha I HAVE to comment… I am ashamed and embarrassed to say I dated this douche 3 years ago for 4 years.. Was a nice kid who’s true colors unfolded… And believe me those stories are true! He has admitted stealing drinks… Walking out of bars without paying tabs… He is a straight up mooches to his friends and even was so me. A couch surfer! He claims to be able to get laid whenever. And continues to still try to hit me up hoping that he will be able to hook up with me. PATHETIC! And that gal is the pic is hideous. I WARNED HER! But she is obsessed with that douche and obsessed with the fact I dated that tool piece. Trust me coming from me and I know him VERY VERY VERY well his name is S———–. He has used the bestest friends and bestest gf (me) he will ever ever EVER have. He is a NARCISISST, that sums it up. He has done me wrong and dirty in so many ways that I could write a novel.

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EDIT: No names please (management)

5:46 pm January, 5 Nadine said...

Oh yea she is NOT hot… But could de pass as the hottest posing drag queen ever!!

8:27 pm January, 5 Medusa Oblongata said...

I believe Nadine has outed herself as the sender of this pic. Way to go, Jilty.

8:30 pm January, 5 Medusa Oblongata said...

…and then bragged about it on Facebook so other people would come and see. Can’t say I approve. I’m much more of a ‘wait in the bushes then deliver a crippling blow to his kneecap with a riot stick, then pee on his face as he cries for help’ kinda gal. Tomato, toe-mah-toe.

8:36 pm January, 5 nadine said...

negative. was not I! this link was passed along to me. quite hilarious!

8:38 pm January, 5 nadine said...

i believe the gal in the photo was the one who posted this onto fb. u don’t have to believe me. but it’s true.

2:20 am January, 6 J.B. said...

On an unrelated leave ur personal life home @madine not a website comment, those rolled up sleeves say it all.

5:59 am January, 6 Nadine said...

Lol Ok thank u for the pep talk 😉

2:20 pm January, 7 DarkSock said...

We are a dickish bunch; that is why you guys rule.

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Outdickers.

4:18 am January, 10 CB Popped said...

Pickle slit hittin’, Gluehole snortin’ cocck ring wearing penii.

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