Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Reader Mail: Crotchos Is Turning

Taken on a tourist trip to Mykonos, Greece, Reader Dan submits proof positive of why Greece is facing hard economic times.

And by hard economic times, I do not mean crotch-peen.

No!!… Wait… Crotchos is turning

No please!!… no more turn!!… (although I see you blonde poocher dancer)… I beg of thee!!… no more turn…

Crapos.

This performative Greek Tragedy calls for a Champagne Katie chaser.

# posted by douchebag1
2:37 pm January, 4 baffomet said...

Is that the guy from Right Said Fred???

2:43 pm January, 4 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Lots of dudes in that picture.

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Lots.

2:43 pm January, 4 Vin Douchal said...

Place anal sex joke here _______________ .

2:44 pm January, 4 Vin Douchal said...

We were a lot better off when black bathing suit girl didn’t turn around, also. Looks like she cornered the market on feta on her block

2:44 pm January, 4 Doucheywallnuts said...

Can you say, “DB of the Year Contender?” Sure, I knew you could….

2:50 pm January, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Damn you Boss, damn you. What has been seen cannot be unseen. May a plague of angry sand fleas tap dance on your taint to all the songs from Fiddler on the Roof for 1000 continuous days.

2:51 pm January, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

And why is ANYBODY taking a picture of this?????? Seriously, WTF?

2:54 pm January, 4 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Note to self: Never, ever visit Greece

3:00 pm January, 4 Champagne Katie's Pedicurist's Poolboy said...

Oh dear sweet baby Jesus. A Champagne chaser is needed, spiked w/bathtub hooch and Gardasil to make me tarded enough to forget.

But good news! Champagne Katie has a special FB page for HCwDB fans, on which she actually calls herself “Champagne Katie” (a first in HCwDB history, I’d guess). Sign up here:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Janira-Gaxiola-Kremets-AKA-Champagne-Katie/283168528397316

3:00 pm January, 4 Wheezer said...

Grecian austerity measures must be beginning at their wardrobes. E-FUCCEN-GADS!

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But Champagne Katie could be making her HoH run with this latest photo, even though she’ll prosecute against this site for not installing her sooner.

3:05 pm January, 4 jonezy said...

and Stephanie gets her Christmas wish…

3:14 pm January, 4 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Gathering of the Nepos

3:24 pm January, 4 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Is there no end to Champagne Katie’s body of work? And by body I mean, well, just look at it. I can lobby no more. Time to put it all on the line, and the moneyshot where my mouth is. I’m putting on my sister’s shortest skirt, I’m wearing Russian Red lipstick with extra sparkles, 2-inch fake eyelashes, and circle contacts. Now who do I have Herman Cain in order to Santorum a HoH nomination?

3:26 pm January, 4 soy bomb said...

Jackass obv isn’t an Ace of Base fan like the rest of us.

3:29 pm January, 4 Wedgie said...

I’m not a big fan of that Katie chick, but you’ve gotta hand it to her, she’s cheeky.

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Plagos and Nepos are two of the lesser known Greek islands. And after looking at the pic above, does it really surprise anyone that Drachmas are now worth less than pesetas? And speaking of pesetas, nice marble bag. Made by Queefos, the Greek god of salad.

3:30 pm January, 4 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

The only good thing about this pic… well, there is nothing good about this pic. But Dreuche should be pleased to see some weenus on display.

3:33 pm January, 4 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Someone should smack Champagne Katie’s Photographer’s Retoucher’s Assistant’s Ass Wiper for going overboard on that photo. Looks like she’s wearing a full-on body stocking. Not a pore in sight. Ease up, CKPRAAW, Champagne Katie needs you helping her look gorgeous like Like Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan need someone to help them smoke their meth.

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Oh, and Boss? I hate you.

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I really, really do.

3:40 pm January, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

It’s about goddamn time the peen to vajeen ratio sways to my favor. Check out the dong on that guy. This ones going in the scrapbook for sure. I will need to crop out his annoying face and body but that shouldn’t take too long.

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What to say about Champagne Katie that hasn’t been said. Well, I think that about covers it.

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Evil Bert AND Champagne Katie for HOH.

3:57 pm January, 4 Wolfram74 said...

I’ve just vomited in my mouth.Please place Crotchos in Pooville tout suite .

4:06 pm January, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Champagne Katie’s Hygenist’s Dental Dam, you know what pisses me off the most, its that your puppet is gonna get in the HOH and mine never will. Grrrrr.

4:10 pm January, 4 The Dude said...

Crotchos is giving me an upset stomach. Now I’ll have to Google Santorum to gain perspective.

4:11 pm January, 4 The Dude said...

^ NOT Gargle!

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pervs

4:27 pm January, 4 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

2 things come to mind…

4:30 pm January, 4 Lil' Fartknocker said...

Night at the Coxbury: plenty of grindage and pelvic pinball

4:58 pm January, 4 hermit said...

I give this guy a pass and admire his ability to.express himself without feeling the need to conform to the social dictates of modern society. He displays an unrestrained spontaneity which I find refreshing.

Instead of heaping scorn, let us celebrate this playful and well-hung free spirit.

5:24 pm January, 4 Guid is Good said...

Why is there never a minotaur around when you need one? The Aegean Stables had nothing on this place.

5:27 pm January, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

And on the eight day Zeus created AIDS. And it was good.

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Homos

5:29 pm January, 4 Champagne Katie's Pedicurist's Poolboy said...

Agreed, Scrotato Head, I much prefer her candid shots to the heavily made-up ones. But at least it’s better than that phase when the modeling agency starved her. That was worrisome. Let Katie be natural Katie.

5:44 pm January, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Was that a bad thing to say? Because that fucker Dionysius or whatever the fuck his name was got a whole bunch of us addicted to booze and drugs and partying and shit. Oops, I like Dionysius. Anyways. Hera begot Homer. And Homer begat Bart and Lisa. And Itchy begat Scratchy and the whole fucking mess caved in and turned into a big fucking freeloading session for a few decades. I know a fucker who was moved to Canada for free excellent high school and university, well it’s not really free but if you play the system it is and I don’t want to hear any Canadians say university costs a lot here. Every third person you meet has a BA in Toronto Gay Life. Fuck! So this guy Jim (Dimitrios) was in my school and went to the best university and started a pizza joint in Montreal, good fucking pizza! Never pays taxes like his parents. Takes his cash to Greece amd retires with a Greek pension to the Island of Karpethos or some shit like that.

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Well this fucker also took the Mrs’ virginity. I could of but I was too much of a pig to deflower her at 14 so I cast her off as a free agent and she hunted me down over and over.. you’ve all heard this sick story before anywho’s. So this dude takes his wife and kids and secret pizza sauce back to the homeland and can I get great fucking pizza anymore? Sure I can cause my wife knows the recipe.

.

So the moral of this story is: If a 14 year old girl wants you to fuck her because she was and is still blindly in love with you even though you’re a terrible father, treated her horribly in your drunken past, force her to go to work a week after she had the youngest rotten daughter, cheated on her openly, insult her at every opportunity, and spend your days on this site mocking her and unknown douchebags, then you’re doing pretty good cause the bills are paid nad you don’t give a fuck about Greek problems, and most importantly you were the first in her ass and the hometown pizza tastes the same as it did firty years ago. Sons.

5:48 pm January, 4 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

This is how Greece protests an increase to a 3 day, 5 hour per day, workweek. Later, there will be butt secks. Not as part of any protest, every evening ends in rump stabbing.

5:53 pm January, 4 Champagne Katie's Pedicurist's Poolboy said...

Greek love, Dude

6:03 pm January, 4 Wedgie said...

One of the things I will never forget about Greece was a cabby who told me and my buddy “Girls for babies, boys for pleasure”.

I wish that was a made-up story, but it’s true. All the shit you have ever heard about those fuccen guys is no lie. No wonder their country is going to shit. Pardon the pun.

6:03 pm January, 4 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Skordalia is a tasty Greek dip…that goes great with souvlakia.

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.Crotchos goes great with adipose-assed blonds who think slimy men with accents are “sexy.”

This has greatly displeased the gods and he will soon feel the wrath of Zeus…who will probably curdle his avgolemono.

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.Dolmathes

8:00 pm January, 4 DarkSock said...

Here, since Baron Von Goolo ain’t showed up yet:
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“Man-Hose: The Hams of Fate”.
rf

10:15 pm January, 4 Stephanie said...

Me? That’s my Christmas wish? Hmm. Nope,that dick looks like it was on a medieval stretching machine or that’s where he squirrels his Greek Euros. Insert joke here.

10:23 pm January, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

Oh, now Champagne Katie is starting to realize the springboard this place could be for her. We were all assholes and she wanted to sue us. Now she’s all giggles because we all think she’s hott. WTFE. You owe us an apology, you fickle twat. And eat a sandwich. And tell that douche to lay off the Photoshop. You look like a wax dummy. Emphasis on dummy. But I’d still bobble your bobbs.

10:25 pm January, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

Greek men are puke. I got accosted by a really nasty one when I was in Sicily. I almost tossed him into the sea. Hey, I feel like Rev. Chad and Sock at the moment. I’m sick and I’m drinking theraflu. I know, it’s no NyQuil, but my delicate constitution can’t handle that stuff anymore. The awesome part of being a teetotaler? Taking simple OTC medicines are like the biggest fucking party EVAR. I am hiiiiiigh as hell right now.

10:26 pm January, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

Reader Dan: Why are you in Mykonos and why are you at this gayfuck aretard party? Seriously. And don’t lie, because I’ll know.

10:31 pm January, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

Mr. Biscotti says, “Ah, Mykonos, da gay island.” AAAAHAAH I KNEW IT

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And thiose fuccen greeks are respomsible for this poofbag flutterbutt YANNI .Fuck yes he is the Jihn Tesh of the Mediterranean only with ten times the gayer hair, yes.

10:31 pm January, 4 tall guy said...

Yeah that girls for babies and boys for pleasure is how some Greek men think. Way back in the day I worked for Greeks. A Greek colleague mentioned that back in his homeland he and his crew regularly arse fucked male tourists. Sometime there was a fee involved, other times it was purely sport. So there’s your Greeks.

Also, Dreuche, you like ’em big, eh?

10:33 pm January, 4 Champagne Katie's Pedicurist's Poolboy said...

Still an alkie, Medusa, so the Milk of Human Kindness races through my pristine & unclogged veins.

10:37 pm January, 4 tall guy said...

Oh and I just knew Shamoo Kate would reveal her true colours before too long. She deserves a good hair pullin’poundin’ from behind for that.

Reims.

12:23 am January, 5 Dan said...

@ Medusa … I stumbled on the pics on the Facebook page of a guy I sort of distantly know. DB1 has chosen only the most tasteful from that particular album. Crotchos gets his hands on the tatas of the BBW in the black bikini later on, cupping them Timberlake style. I hope you believe me. I love you.

12:43 am January, 5 Whoop-di-douche said...

Crotchos is turning, and I am retching.

1:04 am January, 5 Whoop-di-douche said...

Ode on a Grecian Turd

2:23 am January, 5 Nostradouchus said...

Dude in the back left snappin a pic. Just saying…

4:47 am January, 5 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I cannot stand the formal looking bathing suits that many bleeths wear. And by that I mean that this picture made me lose my Champagne Katie Boner.

4:55 am January, 5 CB Popped said...

These pics just ruined my year.

I wont stop drinking,,,again.

5:35 am January, 5 Capt. James T. Douche said...

OPA MOTHERFUCKERS!!!! BLLLLEEEEECCCCHHHHHH!!!!!

5:44 am January, 5 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy 10:31a, Go bug or go home right. Seriously though, being petite in stature make almost every guy I’m with feel like a porn star. But that’s just me, that’s just what I like.

5:48 am January, 5 Ol' Dirty Douchebag said...

Speechless. Without. Speech.

5:50 am January, 5 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Medusa, take it easy on the T-Flu, that shit can be addictive. But yeah its better than The Quil fo sho.

5:52 am January, 5 Nancy Dreuche said...

I meant to say Go *big* but I you guys know how giddy I get with the peen talk. Squee!

6:09 am January, 5 creature said...

lotsa clashing fabric on & around Champagne Katie…poor girl needs a stylist & art director…& by that I mean I should spackle her sugar walls

6:17 am January, 5 hermit said...

Nancy 5:50

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You are comparing the spilled grape Kool -aid® found in the drain pipes of an elementary school rest room to a fine Chateau Latour.

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Also I remember when Bill Clinton bombed the Chinese Embassy in Belgrade by “accident.” Couldn’t we nuke the entire nation of Greece by accident. It would put them out of their misery like Old Yeller’.

8:15 am January, 5 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Hermit, I’ve got a Greek friend, so no bombing. You should give Theraflu Nighttime a try. I always have visions of world peace when I drink it.

8:27 am January, 5 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Medusa, Mykonos is the Fire Island of the Agean. But with less sanitation and hygiene. In short, you simply would not go there and wear a green nut-sling with butt floss unless you were jonesin’ for a bonin’. That is a medical fact.

11:42 am January, 5 DarkSock said...

I’m jonesin’ for a bonin’.

2:07 pm January, 5 Hurl Scheibe said...

Crotchos is one of the best names in a while. God damn that was some repugnant shit!!

7:32 pm January, 5 Stephanie said...

Crotchos is a Greek Island,I checked the map.

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