Thursday, February 2, 2012

10th Grade Melvin Looks Not Where He Points

With Carla at the Junior Prom, 10th Grade Melvin just peaked in life.

A forty year career in sanitation on the outskirts of Jersey awaits. So perhaps we should let him have this moment.

Then again, douche-hair. No pass.

I will wait until Carla turns 18 before drooling on her kneecaps like a weathered Bedouin camel satchel soaked after monsoon.

# posted by douchebag1
4:07 pm February, 2 Wheezer said...

They always start this shit when they’re way too young for it. If these fuccen kids would wait ’til they’re – ohhhhh, I dunno – at least 158 before gelling their hair and acting like chumps, perhaps I could forgive.

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But what do I know? I’m just a fuccen dead ghey hatter.

4:31 pm February, 2 Magnum Douche P. I. said...

I’d like to cross her Rio Grande.

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What ?

4:35 pm February, 2 Magnum Douche P. I. said...

Of course once she’s legal.

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Chris Hansen

4:36 pm February, 2 Wedgie said...

DB1 can wait to drool if he wants to….this is America, after all. Land of the free, and so forth. My vote is for immediate drooling, from my chubby. And she’s already 18, guys. Otherwise, you can’t work in the Champagne Room at the Spearmint Rhino, like Carla here. BTW, her stage name is Mercedes, and you better fuccen tip her right, needledicks.

4:44 pm February, 2 Southern Scrotic said...

Nooooooooooooooooooo comment.

4:53 pm February, 2 Nancy Dreuche said...

I think she has a peen. And its pointed right at us.

5:09 pm February, 2 The Dude said...

Hot Children with Douchebags. Yikes.

5:17 pm February, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d sauce her taco. And that bottle rocket in the butt story is classic frat pud.

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Pledges

5:28 pm February, 2 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

She’s probably legal somewhere. Let’s just say I’m in one of those places salivating in a completely legal and non-threatening way.

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Flame-like bonfire hair = autodouche PLUS scalping with putty knife.

5:37 pm February, 2 The Po-Po said...

Wedgie is Pedos. Where’s my $50? A guys got to buy some clams, yo!

6:36 pm February, 2 eyedouche said...

I always wondered what Susanna Hoffs looked like before The Bangles…

7:00 pm February, 2 troy tempest said...

He won’t be working “the outskirts of NJ” collecting trash. “His Kind” aren’t exactly welcome in Warren County. No, he’ll be pulling trash closer to NYC in Passaic or Union County. Because he lives in Kearny. so it’s easier to get there than Belvedere…

7:00 pm February, 2 troy tempest said...

I knows my Jerz.

7:06 pm February, 2 Nostradouchus said...

That fucking hair. I’ll never get it.

8:11 pm February, 2 Wedgie said...

Dear Fuccen Canada:

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I sent your check via U.S. Mail and it took three, count’em, three genuine United States stamps to do it. The check was written on January 28th, in the Year of Our Lord 2012. Also known as the Year of the T-Bill in China, if you’re keeping track.

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Don’t panic just yet. The Mounties probably won’t steal a check, I mean, come on, it’s not like I sent you cash, or some killer bud from the local “cooperative” (also known as the Sinaloa Cartel).

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Just take a chill pill, Arellano-Felix. It’s just money, brah.

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Sheckos

8:14 pm February, 2 Wedgie said...

PS:

Tonight I busted out the Darksock-pee-bottle of Maker’s. Damn, that was good stuff. Who knew that a little bit of Gulf Coast architect piddle mixed in with your whiskey would smooth it out that well? Like Grampa Wedgie used to say, “Sobriety is for pussies”.

8:18 pm February, 2 Stephanie said...

Douche bag hair = troll doll hair.

11:34 pm February, 2 DarkSock said...

You liked that custom bottle didn’t you, Wedgie?

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Drew Pees.

3:55 am February, 3 The Po-Po said...

Just stirring the pot Wedgie Pedos.

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5:28 am February, 3 Nostradouchus said...

And Carla looks not where she applies makeup…

5:59 am February, 3 Wedgie said...

Gobbler’s Knob.

3:45 pm February, 3 DB's Bar & Grill said...

the bag looks like Oompa Prompa’s little brother. Or should that be ‘little bag’?

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