Friday, February 3, 2012

Ask DB1: A 'Bag Alone?

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DB1,

What is a Douchebag without a Hott? I don’t mean a group of ‘Bags about to descend on Hotts, as we see so often. I mean a full-on douchebag all by his lonesome.

What is he?

Or perhaps the question is, a douchebag all alone is like ________________.

Yours in continued opposition to the ‘taint,

Dan

——-

A douchebag alone is still a douchebag. But without hot chick to create societal distress and the need for grievance in the form of the collective mock, they are simply a clown, nothing more.

It is the ‘bags who ruin pear pics, like Marty Waldouche (pictured here), that deserve our scorn. For on the bumpy road of life, they ruin the view. Like styrofoam in a nature preserve.

# posted by douchebag1
10:20 am February, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

What a fucking knob! At very worst and given the differences in age between myself and the gaggle of hotts, I would be fucking the second flabbiest on the bare dirt behind the evergreen tree on the right.

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Maybe he’s retarded cause two of those behinds are irresistable.

10:30 am February, 3 Douche Springsteen said...

If a douche sprays Axe alone in the club and there is no hott there to be enveloped in the stench-mist, does it still smell?

10:35 am February, 3 Nancy Dreuche said...

Is the hott still a hott with no douchebag to tell her she’s hott so he can score some poon? Isn’t a douchebag without a hott a douchebag who is doing it wrong?

10:43 am February, 3 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Douche or not, this dude is just showing some common sense.

.

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And I’ll take the one on the left.

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.What was the question?

10:44 am February, 3 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

A douchebag all alone is an insecure fool.

10:47 am February, 3 hermit said...

Chick in green better check her hemoglobin count.

10:48 am February, 3 Douchble Helix said...

Gimme the tall one. What is the ‘bag attraction about lakes?

10:59 am February, 3 Nancy Dreuche said...

Dude may be ruining the pic for the rest if you but to me he’s at least still in the game and trying. Holy shit, I’m rooting for the douchebags. Well that’s what hanging around you sad sacks will do to a lady. So I guess I’m going for the Giants this Sunday.

11:15 am February, 3 Wedgie said...

D-Bag. I will give him very minor credit for correctly identifying and then fondling the correct ass in the lineup.

Other than that, he ruined a perfect pic, so for his punishment, Uncle Jemima in the prior pic gets to try out Darksock’s new invention (the solar-powered strap-on; ‘cuz he’s fuccen green you bitches and Earth-Firsters need lovin’ too) on Marty’s soon-to-be-stretched back door.

You might think a solar-powered strap-on is a little strange, but I’ll just point out that those Facebook idiots are about to go public and become gazillionaires for what could be the lamest idea in the history of mankind. “It lets you talk to your friends using a computer”. Yeah, that’s way better than meeting for a beer at the beach, anytime.

Blow me.

11:16 am February, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Where’s Dark Sock with a couple of 250 hp outboards when you need him?

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I peed in a lake on several occasions.

11:38 am February, 3 The Dude said...

Waldouche in this pic wouldn’t be considered douchey if he were holding up something fishy he found in that lake, or would he?

.

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Woody?

11:48 am February, 3 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

One world class fanny, and a lot of laudable efforts that sadly fall short. But far be it for me to complain about so much flesh on display. Pic would be improved if the blue-stripped bikini hott were beating waldouche over the head with an oar.

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4 things I hate: Giants, Patriots, Madonna and Indianapolis. I am rooting for volcanic eruption.

12:22 pm February, 3 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

I’m with @Dude McCrude on three of the four, but I’d substitute Armenians for the G-men.

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..

.Oppenheimers

12:24 pm February, 3 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

This tool’s friends must have decided to skip hanging with females and gone on some manhood camping.

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http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sdo/2370048082.html

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yeah it’s a repeat, but it’s worth another reading

2:06 pm February, 3 crazed aborigine said...

for some strange reason, I just had a flashback to my 4-H days, where we had to go into a barn full of identical (to the untrained eye) livestock and pick out the prize heiffer from amongst the culls. For a perfect score on his livestock judging final, I give this dork a pass. Seriously, can any of you tell me, if faced with this lineup, you wouldn’t grope that ass?

2:30 pm February, 3 I R A Darth Aggie said...

A ‘bag alone is Gollum, but with worse hair and poorer vocabulary.

3:40 pm February, 3 Bigphatnotadouche said...

I give the dude a Notta.

Chicks in bikinis, over looking the water and nature. Hopefully the adult beverages are out of camera range. When the sun goes down the horns come up.

Live in peace my friend..

5:52 pm February, 3 Edith Anne Tarbox of Dripping Springs Tx said...

i would applaud him if he weren’t faking the hammy grab.

sharia lawmen.

5:54 pm February, 3 Stephanie said...

A douche is a douche is a douche. Posing with bikini asses is douche. We can’t see the tatts,so he automatically is douche.

Douche

6:09 pm February, 3 Nostradouchus said...

Chick in the stripes better check her dignity.

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