Monday, February 20, 2012

Assikus Anonymous Tours New Hampshire

When Mona dropped out of Mass Art to tour New England with the Berklee School of Music’s underground sensation, “Assikus Anonymous,” she had no idea it would lead her so far astray from her artistic dreams, and so close to Denny’s Parking lots instead.

# posted by douchebag1
3:01 pm February, 20 Wedgie said...

I’ll take “Collective I.Q.” and the under, for $500.

3:10 pm February, 20 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

This picture is the reason that I wake-up to a double shot of “Maker’s Mark 46” every morning.

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Dear god peoples. This picture, and its heinous mugging of supreme hottery, is why god will, in fact, not have mercy on our souls.

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No. no, he will not. We will all burn.

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And Ps. Yo Crucial Head, you checked-out Maker’s 46? It’s 94 proof and still as sweet as Mona’s ample sweater puppets. Give it a whirl; your impeded consciousness will thank me.

3:14 pm February, 20 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Fedoras = autodouche? Discuss. The Mrs. and myself saw some preening little dicckliccker prancing around our local Mexican joint last night with one on and I wanted to smack him. My wife said no way because he was too entertaining for her. Consensus?

3:17 pm February, 20 tall gay said...

Yo Dreuche, so the German and I took turns rubbing oil all over each other earlier in the week before we went for a surf. We went out to a club and we ducked into the pisser. I went to me knees and pulled out his piss pipe and gave him a nice rusty trombone. So the bloke finishes off in me face. Perfect date. I gave him me digits and now he won’t return me calls. Care to share some of your mad skills with me?

3:18 pm February, 20 Nancy Dreuche said...

Fedoras = autodouche. Here here, Doc B.

3:28 pm February, 20 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall gay, not to be confused with tall guy, sounds like just a hookup to me. Pretty typical gay dude date actually from what my homo friends tell me. You straight dudes would be jealous at the amount of action a moderately attractive gay dude can net. Anyway, back to your question, text him back, if you don’t hear from him there’s your answer. Head out to the surf and grease up some other lucky H-mo and hit the clubs.

3:30 pm February, 20 Bag A said...

That’s Crapser the Douchey Ghost! (Aug 8, 2008)

3:30 pm February, 20 tall guy said...

Bunsen, It looks to be a felt fedora! I Wonder where he’s hiding the Mummy’s Boy tatt.

3:41 pm February, 20 Wheezer said...

To borrow an oldie from DarkSock: “She is clearly cockblocking.”

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And kuudos to Bag A (3:30 p.m.) for recognizing this piece of sheet. See what I did there?

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I think these wanks wear more makeup than Mona. Really.

3:42 pm February, 20 Wheezer said...

Or “kudos” also works. Damn these trigger/fwapping fingers!

3:51 pm February, 20 troy tempest said...

Um, that’s Berklee boss, not Berkeley.

4:08 pm February, 20 Vin Douchal said...

The ugly is strong here. I think that’s what Assikus/Douchey Ghost is going for: being the nastiest , stinky breath, poorly inked up , bad chin brillo, fish breath wussy that ever stepped out of the shit container at the dog park. …. a true Lose/Lose Proposition

4:16 pm February, 20 Vin Douchal said...

The only way to wash that fugly grille out of my mind was to watch this 37 times:

.

4:29 pm February, 20 army (ret) douche said...

nothing brings out the douche face like low quality eyeliner

4:44 pm February, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Tis id why GOD lEft Greek. Tat Vanesa Hutchers had one tite cunt.

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BNerz

5:03 pm February, 20 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Rev, you are in the perfect frame of mind for storytelling. Would you please do us the honor and tell us about the time you and some celebrities of yore had crazy hijinx. Please. It’s been so long.

5:06 pm February, 20 Nancy Dreuche said...

Wait. Can you even read this Rev? Perhaps you’ve hired a monkey to type your comments for you. Well then hello RevChads hired helper monkey. Let’s hope you’re a little less rascist than your human master.

5:31 pm February, 20 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Wait! That’s NOT shiny Jesus Bling. It appears to be walnut crafted Jesus balls. Wait! More like walnut balls with Jesus cross? So does he get 2 credits for not having shiny Jesus Bling? Or does it even matter for chin pubes, tats, signs and scowl?

.

.

.

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And,

I’d like my balls to follow her balls!

5:43 pm February, 20 super sorta cool said...

that’s jessica jaymes, pornstar

6:13 pm February, 20 Wheezer said...

Vin is primarily responsible for our overflowing spank banks, is he not?

.

Should we ever need a curator for the Hall of Hott, it’s clear that Vin’s the choice.

6:30 pm February, 20 The Dude said...

Googling jessica jaymes is a very nice tonic for the retinal damage caused by these twits. And by that I mean I’d like to pee on her chest.

6:45 pm February, 20 Morbo said...

Mona’s cleavage is actually a cleverly disguised safety deposit box. I see a dollar bill, a necklace, two midgets being held against their will, and whatever dignity these two asshats have left all tucked neatly away in there.

6:48 pm February, 20 Nostradouchus said...

Dude on the left couldn’t help but tell hottie that The Crow was the greatest movie EVER. Seriously.

7:22 pm February, 20 Blah said...

Guy in the fedora defines the category “Most Punchworthy”.

7:25 pm February, 20 Stephanie said...

These are second rate gothsters on the side of a loud mouth douche bag asshole There’s a group like this at every watering hole. The one that’s loud leads the goths into ideas like stealing salt and pepper shakers at Denny’s. Goths should be home listening to Bauhaus where they should be.

And I would be home listening to the same shit from 1980.

7:57 pm February, 20 douche-da-douche said...

lemme see

asshat clown? yep

emo dork? yep

porn smegma storeage system? yep

three strikes and your all DOUCHBAGS

thanks for playing

8:21 pm February, 20 T said...

Bizarro Dave Navarro

9:44 pm February, 20 Vin Douchal said...

If’n you’ve got a buzz on , or let’s say tripping on acid, check out this shit. It’s weird:

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Mouth Eyes Pictures

9:57 pm February, 20 Medusa Oblongata said...

Fedoras are not autodouche. Observe.

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It really should be on a case-by-case basis. Observe.

12:25 am February, 21 Jeet Kune Douche said...

On the left: Lhasa Fever Guy.

On the right: Ebola Guy.

In the middle: An angelic pornstar-lookin’ frosting covered cupcake of brunette slurpaliciousness who is clearly immune to the disease plagues that are boxing her in.

when ever the morning news teases a breaking story of a woman who died walking into oncoming rush hour traffic, assikus’ friends are known to remark “assikus must have gotten laid last night”

4:35 am February, 21 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I LOLZ at hermaphroditic vampire-woodpecker hybrid.

5:53 am February, 21 Capt. James T. Douche said...

This is one toxic mess of a douche, no two way about it!! That chin merkin is out of control and the ginormous wooden Jeebus bling on the string of anal beads really takes the urinal cake!!

Blumpkins

6:17 am February, 21 Ol' Dirty Douchebag said...

A rare sighting of penthouse pet, emo, speed/death metal wannabes. With a bonus of folded dollar bill jammed in bra. Hope everyone’s up to date on your Hep C shots!

8:45 am February, 21 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Medusa

.

I should have clarified. Fedoras as decoration=autodouche.

.

.

.

.

..

habadasherers

9:39 am February, 21 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

I gotta give props to Bag A for recognizing a bag from like 4 years ago. I’m impressed. The guy is aging like a fine wine. And by fine wine I mean the gatorade container I pissed in like 3 months ago on surveillance and just found under the seat of my truck yesterday.

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.

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rank-smell

11:57 am February, 21 jonezy said...

@SSS,

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I began and finished a bottle of MM 46 just this past Friday night- I was not alone, though, so don’t sue me. While not quite a New Year’s Resolution, I’ve been drinking nothing but manhattans these days. Trying to figure out which brands of vermouth and bitters I prefer best, if you have any suggestions…

12:19 pm February, 21 Wedgie said...

Fedoras are not and never will be autodouche. Frank Sinatra wore one. So did Indiana Jones.

So did a hottie in the last Douchies, and she went pretty deep into the brackets before she was (wrongly) eliminated. Which is not the same as being wrongly inseminated, Professor.

10:01 pm February, 21 CB Popped said...

Apocalypse Now.

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