Monday, February 27, 2012

Caption This Pic

Kelly was shocked to discover that the aroma of ‘roid sweat did not mix well with Tequila.

# posted by douchebag1
10:50 am February, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fuck! When was the last time I fed the kids? Did I leave the air conditioner on or off?

10:51 am February, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Shit! I should have done a complete shave yesterday. I’m feeling itchy.

10:52 am February, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Ya I fucked those guys last night. One was named Jason and the other one was…um…..ummm

10:53 am February, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m getting too old for these all day keggers.

10:53 am February, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Has anyone seen my dignity? I’m sure I had it when I left work Friday.

10:55 am February, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

What is they call old broads like me hanging around pools full of douche? Is it kitty, honey badger, fox, mountain goat..Oh fuck it I need another crantini and my estrogen pill.

10:55 am February, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This uses to be more fun when I had a uterus.

10:56 am February, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Do I really have to shit or is it an anal fissure from yesterdcay?

10:57 am February, 27 Steve said...

A perfect picture of the current generation (25-35) when they reach middle age. The joke of the middle-aged men driving sports cars and growing a ponytail are over. Now it’s gonna be the middle aged woman who dresses like she’s 16-23 years old, buys breast implants, and gets tattoos around her waist/tramps stamp.

10:58 am February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Whew! These new implants are a job to haul around!

10:58 am February, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

All I remember was him buying me a drink and then I passed out as his roomate was calling me Peg Bundy.

11:00 am February, 27 UFO Destroyers said...

Good thing Jimmy’s real dad was able to bail him out of county after the meth bust at the tire shop. Will that son of mine ever grow up?!!

11:01 am February, 27 tall guy said...

Thank God poo breath back tatt shoots blanks. Also, I thank God for his hair trigger.

11:01 am February, 27 Et Tu Douche? said...

Milfing aint easy?

11:02 am February, 27 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I’m too old to be having gang bangs with douchebags!

11:03 am February, 27 Et Tu Douche? said...

Oh shit that’s the guy who humiliated me sexually last night, what WAS is name?

11:04 am February, 27 Et Tu Douche? said...

^Well at least I have his fake dog tags, maybe he’ll call me later.

11:04 am February, 27 tall guy said...

Sheesh, he could really use some extra virgin olive oil!

11:10 am February, 27 tall guy said...

Hey, you want foreplay? Well at least act as if you’re awake then.

11:11 am February, 27 Et Tu Douche? said...

Not a caption but an observation. I’m almost positive she enthusiastically enjoys all types of positions whenst getting boned. Fact!!!

11:12 am February, 27 Vin Douchal said...

Looks like I found a use for this bag o’ hammers

11:14 am February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Fuck! Did he cum in me I can’t remember?

11:20 am February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Ugh! My mouth tastes like cock again!

11:21 am February, 27 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Anal

Inflicted

Death

Sentence

11:21 am February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Shit! I think my uterus fell out in the pool!

11:22 am February, 27 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Anal fisting, the next day.

11:24 am February, 27 Eliza Douchecoo said...

“the girl in front of the dragon tattoo”….ammiright or what….oh shit that’s bad.

11:26 am February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

100000 miles of cock on that ass.

11:26 am February, 27 Vin Douchal said...

Ow, sooo hungover,….In my day you could lay out at the pool and they’d pipe in some Helen Reddy or The Carpenters, …

11:28 am February, 27 Vin Douchal said...

Did I roll the windows down for the baby?

11:33 am February, 27 Nancy Dreuche said...

“This was so much easier when I was a man.”

11:44 am February, 27 Wedgie said...

“Fuck, it’s gonna be a long flight back to Vancouver.”

11:47 am February, 27 melvil_duchi said...

why oh why didn’t i take the blue pill?

11:48 am February, 27 melvil_duchi said...

my puzzler hurts

11:50 am February, 27 melvil_duchi said...

he looks awful in my Zoomba shorts

11:52 am February, 27 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

The Rev like a machine gun with the comments this morning.

.

This broad gives new meaning to the term ridden hard and put away wet.

11:53 am February, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

“Excuse me Sir. I don’t mean to be a bother. But I just have one more question .” “Where exactly was your cock at around 3 am?”

11:58 am February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Whoa! My estrogen shot just kicked in!

12:10 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

My stoopid kid just did whaaaaaa….. aw fucck!

12:14 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Why, why, why do I always fall for that line about him being a doctor?

12:14 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Oh God, I hope all the girls at the office never see that ATM video I just made in order to pay my bar tab!

12:17 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Shit! I took the last RU-486 pill even though I just did anal. Damnit!

12:18 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Who knew it really burns so much when you get all that smegma in your eyes?

12:19 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I should have washed my hands after I got done fisting Dragon Back and BEFORE I started on the fried chicken.

12:22 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Good Lord, I think I feel another one of those cum-in-the-sinuses migraines coming on again.

12:23 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Let’s see, the last thing I remember was him standing above me with my hand like this….

12:24 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Do I have enough coat hangers in my purse….?

12:25 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I’m getting too old for DVDA!

12:25 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Shit, when does Planned Parenthood open this morning?

12:26 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I think my twat has steam coming out of it!

12:27 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I can’t believe I fell for the “World’s Best Sword Swallower” joke again!

12:27 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Oh shit! That was a cum fart I just felt in my bikini bottom!

12:29 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Ugh, my lips are so sore I think this time I’ll have to drink through a straw for TWO weeks.

12:30 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

She just farted and realized a 10 inch cock just fell out of her ass!

12:30 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Why do they call it a glory hole? I don’t FEEL glorious.

12:30 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Fuck! I think one of my implants burst!!

12:31 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I don’t ever remember playing “sit-n-spin” like that when I was a kid.

12:32 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

“I said don’t get it in my eye!!”

12:32 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I guess I’d better go and get my stomach pumped Elton John style.

12:33 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Well I guess its back to sitting on the inflatable donut cushion.

12:34 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Please honey. Not now. Mommy has to get to her shift at the Wyld Stallyon in 5 minutes or else we’ll starve for another 3 days.

12:34 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Fuck! Where did I put that coupon for Plan B?

12:36 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Dammit! My asshole just fell out again!! Wait… Hey catch that don’t let it roll into the sewer!!

12:37 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I understand why everything else hurts, but my ears?????

12:38 pm February, 27 Douche Moore said...

Oh Fuck! It’s the year of the Dragon.

12:39 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Now where did I leave that punch card for the abortion clinic, 10th one is on the house? Dammit this’ll only be #9!

12:40 pm February, 27 baffomet said...

“I have to quit this bare backing nonsense”….

12:43 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Let me think now, I can’t remember if I swallowed or not but if I recall alcohol is antiseptic sooooo all the tequila should kill the herpes virus? Right?

12:46 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Does anybody know where the ice machine is? After an all day gangbang a girl’s gotta get some ice for her pooter!

12:53 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Knew it was a bad idea to take more than 10 loads in the mouth at once, I need some maalox!

12:55 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Good thing these bikini bottoms have belt on them otherwise I’d be kicking the piss flaps all over the place.

12:55 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Why didn’t I take the tampon out BEFORE the orgy started?

12:56 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Whew! Doing those scenes with a speculum just ain’t what it use to be!

12:56 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I’ll never hear the end of it if Dad finds out I was the one he nailed in the Little Bo Peep outfit.

12:59 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

That donkey wasn’t wearing a condom was he?

1:01 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Did I pee in the horse or did the horse pee in me?

1:01 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Wait?? How many ping pong balls were there again? 1,2,3… awe fuck!

1:02 pm February, 27 Troy Tempest said...

Kelly’s expression is common among women suffering from back pain induced by breast implants. It is even more common among women with back pain induced by breast implants and ruined livers from the pain meds taken for the back pain from the breast implants.

1:05 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Let me think… will medicare cover a torn asshole?

1:05 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Boy howdy is my gynecologist gonna be pissed this time!

1:06 pm February, 27 icame isaw idouched said...

That gyroscope in my monkey hole gives me such a headache.

1:07 pm February, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^piss flaps! I thought that was a Canadian thing.

1:10 pm February, 27 tall guy said...

Ugh! You’re saying I even took Nancy Dreuche with a strap-on?

1:13 pm February, 27 Southern Scrotic said...

“She works hard for her money …”

1:13 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Shit! What did happen to that rubber fist I saw sitting on the nightstand last night everything is such a blur?

1:18 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Her vagina smells like burnt rubber.

1:25 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Is it two in my pink and one in my stink or the other way around? Aw, who cares anymore.

1:26 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Does anybody know if a Midol will take the sting out of getting donkey punched?

1:29 pm February, 27 Baron Von Goolo said...

For this first time in his dedicated career, Agent Jack Bauer regrets going soooo deep undercover.

1:30 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Ugh! I can still smell balls on my chin and upperlip.

1:31 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Those midgets said everything looked OK with my ovaries right?

1:31 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Let me think a sec… and no. that’s right you can’t get pregnant from anal sex, whew! Dodged a bullet there!

1:33 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

It’s a good thing I’m standing right now because I sure wouldn’t be able to get up if I did a split right now.

1:36 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

If anybody says the words rusty, trombone, bow tie, or blumpkin I gonna blow!

1:37 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I think that aardvark tickled my liver. Never again.

1:37 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Okay so I don’t blow my diet… let me think how many calories are in cum? Times X amount of loads… so let’s see carry the 1 and yep I don’t have to eat again for 32 days!

1:38 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Mental note: when Lexington Steele says he wants to go spelunking just say no.

1:39 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Her vagina looks like the creature from PREDATOR!

1:41 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

After having more meat in one afternoon than can be found in a Chicago stockyard, Kelly decides to finally go vegan.

1:41 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

C’mon Boss we’re at 1000 MUTHAFUCCKA!

1:41 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Will workmans comp cover a prolapsed vagina?

1:43 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Awww! Fuck I just blew out my NuvaRing!

1:46 pm February, 27 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Whoa. Kelly clearly has MILEAGE.

I don’t wish to be crude, but everything about her suggests that her naughty bits have seen more traffic than the Lincoln Tunnel.

1:56 pm February, 27 Baron Von Goolo said...

The focus it took to keep himself tucked was starting to wear on poor Armando.

1:57 pm February, 27 Baron Von Goolo said...

“That’s the last time I let Melissa McCarthy choose the restaurant.”

2:03 pm February, 27 Baron Von Goolo said...

It wasn’t even noon and she was already down to a DD. Candy knew that, soon, her cursed gypsy taytays would once again need to feed.

2:06 pm February, 27 Baron Von Goolo said...

Despite the misgivings of the backers, production had already begun on the XXX parody of Contagion.

2:08 pm February, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Ya mean this is what Whitney felt like? I’m not opening that 8-ball Bobby.

2:10 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Fuck! The right one sprung a leak!

2:12 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

A still from the hit feature “Airtight Cougars 12:Mission Vegas”

2:12 pm February, 27 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

“Fuck. I wish I had chosen to get both tits the same size”

2:15 pm February, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

The right one is making a squeaking noise like when you pinch a balloon and let the air out slowly.

2:17 pm February, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Phew. I haven’t felt hot flashes like that since the Baron locked me in the Iron Maiden.

.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiSidenJ5-5&feature=related

2:19 pm February, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

And fucked my monkey hole with his paddle.

.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlSidenJ5-E&feature=related

2:25 pm February, 27 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

“Two dragons raping a penguin? Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit huffing spray paint”

2:31 pm February, 27 Colossus of Choads said...

Fainting Cougar, Obvious Dragon.

2:31 pm February, 27 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Kelly’s only clue to what happened last night was $200 in her monkey hole, and a note on her dresser that said, “Thank’s for letting me pee in your butt”

2:36 pm February, 27 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

With a perfect storm of bad parenting and legendary family fertility, Kelly shouldn’t be surprised she just became a 45 year old great grand MILF.

3:12 pm February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ would that make her a sabre-tooth tiger instead of a cougar?

3:34 pm February, 27 Southern Scrotic said...

Another fratboy wants the bondage special …

.

When will it end?

3:35 pm February, 27 Southern Scrotic said...

I think my left boob is going AWOL.

4:09 pm February, 27 Greg619 said...

Oh shiz, he has the same tat as I do!

5:14 pm February, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Kelly was having a good time

Until Maurice bought her that 14th Mojito

And then jammed his gyroscope

Into her monkey hole

5:14 pm February, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“I will never blow my son again!”

5:16 pm February, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“I can’t believe I wore the magnetic bracelet being that i have this plate in my forehead!”

5:27 pm February, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This chlamydia has made me so darn forgetful! Now where did I leave my clit ring?

5:30 pm February, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I can’t believe that Warrant’s lead singer died and they aren’t playing poolside at happy hour!

6:19 pm February, 27 Guid is Good said...

This French silicone is giving me a headache.

6:21 pm February, 27 Nostradouchus said...

LOL at old bleeth’s boobs and waist….

.

“That’s when she found out what dude’s thought of her chest.”

6:23 pm February, 27 Southern Scrotic said...

My IUD gets heavier each year.

6:23 pm February, 27 woop said...

Kelly? more like Steve.

6:54 pm February, 27 Medusa Oblongata said...

“Oh, how I wish he’d put his shirt back on.”

6:55 pm February, 27 Medusa Oblongata said...

“God damn, my cunt is on fire.”

6:55 pm February, 27 Medusa Oblongata said...

“What did they fill these things with, concrete?”

7:06 pm February, 27 Stephanie said...

“The girl with the dragon tattoo”

7:08 pm February, 27 Stephanie said...

“This Prada purse is as heavy as my fake boob bags”

8:13 pm February, 27 Stephanie said...

“ugh,I’m as sick as that douche bag behind me,Jesus Christ,he just farted”

4:42 am February, 28 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“Oy vey, I have a headache from listening to all of the guys who made fun of me still trying to get into my little pants!”

5:12 am February, 28 Taylor said...

the vaginoplasty pamphlet never said this was a side effect.

6:03 am February, 28 Just Me said...

I think I farted and….jizzed in my pants

6:27 am February, 28 CB Popped said...

The Girl With The Dragon Poo-poo.

3:01 pm February, 28 Ned Ryerson said...

I dig the waistband frontal tramp tattoo strongly suggesting an “artistic” pussy that would otherwise be considered defiled.

8:19 pm February, 28 Stephanie said...

What? only 142…143…

11:58 am March, 1 Vance Cogswell said...

No amount of fake tits will make up for no hips. Even the crustacean Mongoloid isn’t impressed.

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