Monday, February 27, 2012
Caption This Pic
Kelly was shocked to discover that the aroma of ‘roid sweat did not mix well with Tequila.
Hot Chicks With Douche Bags
PICTURES OF HOT CHICKS WITH TOTAL AND COMPLETE DOUCHEBAGS. WITH COMMENTARY.
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Hall of Mock
- Pfah
- DarkSock
- Baron Von Goolo
- Troy Tempest
- Steve L
- Wheezer
- Medusa Oblongata
- creature
- Crucial Head
- Mr. White
- Archidoucheis
- Mr. Biggs
- Vin Douchal
- Sergeant Scrote Stain
- boatbutter
- Captain Bringdown
- Whoop-di-douche
- Jacques Doucheteau
- massengill
- Dr. Bunsen Honeydouche
- Mr. Scrotato Head
- Deltus
- The Reverend Chad Kroeger
- mr.reeve
- Wedgie
- Et Tu Douche?
- Eliza Douchcoo
- dbBen
- soy bomb
- DoucheyWallnuts
- I R A Darth Aggie
- jonezy
- Hermit
- Chris in ‘Baghdad
- Douchble Helix
- the douche is alright
- Choad the Douche Sprocket
- Stephanie
- The Dude
- Dude McCrudeshoes
- Sir David Douchenborough
- Il Douché
- Bag A
- douche equis
- Capt. James T. Douche
- Charles Nelson Douchely
- THEONETRUEDOUCHE
- Merle Baggard
- ehcuodouche
- Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
- Charles Douchewin
- FredN.
- Ol' Dirty Douchebag
- In memoriam: bcs
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Fuck! When was the last time I fed the kids? Did I leave the air conditioner on or off?
Shit! I should have done a complete shave yesterday. I’m feeling itchy.
Ya I fucked those guys last night. One was named Jason and the other one was…um…..ummm
I’m getting too old for these all day keggers.
Has anyone seen my dignity? I’m sure I had it when I left work Friday.
What is they call old broads like me hanging around pools full of douche? Is it kitty, honey badger, fox, mountain goat..Oh fuck it I need another crantini and my estrogen pill.
This uses to be more fun when I had a uterus.
Do I really have to shit or is it an anal fissure from yesterdcay?
A perfect picture of the current generation (25-35) when they reach middle age. The joke of the middle-aged men driving sports cars and growing a ponytail are over. Now it’s gonna be the middle aged woman who dresses like she’s 16-23 years old, buys breast implants, and gets tattoos around her waist/tramps stamp.
Whew! These new implants are a job to haul around!
All I remember was him buying me a drink and then I passed out as his roomate was calling me Peg Bundy.
Good thing Jimmy’s real dad was able to bail him out of county after the meth bust at the tire shop. Will that son of mine ever grow up?!!
Thank God poo breath back tatt shoots blanks. Also, I thank God for his hair trigger.
Milfing aint easy?
I’m too old to be having gang bangs with douchebags!
Oh shit that’s the guy who humiliated me sexually last night, what WAS is name?
^Well at least I have his fake dog tags, maybe he’ll call me later.
Sheesh, he could really use some extra virgin olive oil!
Hey, you want foreplay? Well at least act as if you’re awake then.
Not a caption but an observation. I’m almost positive she enthusiastically enjoys all types of positions whenst getting boned. Fact!!!
Looks like I found a use for this bag o’ hammers
Fuck! Did he cum in me I can’t remember?
Ugh! My mouth tastes like cock again!
Anal
Inflicted
Death
Sentence
Shit! I think my uterus fell out in the pool!
Anal fisting, the next day.
“the girl in front of the dragon tattoo”….ammiright or what….oh shit that’s bad.
100000 miles of cock on that ass.
Ow, sooo hungover,….In my day you could lay out at the pool and they’d pipe in some Helen Reddy or The Carpenters, …
Did I roll the windows down for the baby?
“This was so much easier when I was a man.”
“Fuck, it’s gonna be a long flight back to Vancouver.”
why oh why didn’t i take the blue pill?
my puzzler hurts
he looks awful in my Zoomba shorts
The Rev like a machine gun with the comments this morning.
.
This broad gives new meaning to the term ridden hard and put away wet.
“Excuse me Sir. I don’t mean to be a bother. But I just have one more question .” “Where exactly was your cock at around 3 am?”
Whoa! My estrogen shot just kicked in!
My stoopid kid just did whaaaaaa….. aw fucck!
Why, why, why do I always fall for that line about him being a doctor?
Oh God, I hope all the girls at the office never see that ATM video I just made in order to pay my bar tab!
Shit! I took the last RU-486 pill even though I just did anal. Damnit!
Who knew it really burns so much when you get all that smegma in your eyes?
I should have washed my hands after I got done fisting Dragon Back and BEFORE I started on the fried chicken.
Good Lord, I think I feel another one of those cum-in-the-sinuses migraines coming on again.
Let’s see, the last thing I remember was him standing above me with my hand like this….
Do I have enough coat hangers in my purse….?
I’m getting too old for DVDA!
Shit, when does Planned Parenthood open this morning?
I think my twat has steam coming out of it!
I can’t believe I fell for the “World’s Best Sword Swallower” joke again!
Oh shit! That was a cum fart I just felt in my bikini bottom!
Ugh, my lips are so sore I think this time I’ll have to drink through a straw for TWO weeks.
She just farted and realized a 10 inch cock just fell out of her ass!
Why do they call it a glory hole? I don’t FEEL glorious.
Fuck! I think one of my implants burst!!
I don’t ever remember playing “sit-n-spin” like that when I was a kid.
“I said don’t get it in my eye!!”
I guess I’d better go and get my stomach pumped Elton John style.
Well I guess its back to sitting on the inflatable donut cushion.
Please honey. Not now. Mommy has to get to her shift at the Wyld Stallyon in 5 minutes or else we’ll starve for another 3 days.
Fuck! Where did I put that coupon for Plan B?
Dammit! My asshole just fell out again!! Wait… Hey catch that don’t let it roll into the sewer!!
I understand why everything else hurts, but my ears?????
Oh Fuck! It’s the year of the Dragon.
Now where did I leave that punch card for the abortion clinic, 10th one is on the house? Dammit this’ll only be #9!
“I have to quit this bare backing nonsense”….
Let me think now, I can’t remember if I swallowed or not but if I recall alcohol is antiseptic sooooo all the tequila should kill the herpes virus? Right?
Does anybody know where the ice machine is? After an all day gangbang a girl’s gotta get some ice for her pooter!
Knew it was a bad idea to take more than 10 loads in the mouth at once, I need some maalox!
Good thing these bikini bottoms have belt on them otherwise I’d be kicking the piss flaps all over the place.
Why didn’t I take the tampon out BEFORE the orgy started?
Whew! Doing those scenes with a speculum just ain’t what it use to be!
I’ll never hear the end of it if Dad finds out I was the one he nailed in the Little Bo Peep outfit.
That donkey wasn’t wearing a condom was he?
Did I pee in the horse or did the horse pee in me?
Wait?? How many ping pong balls were there again? 1,2,3… awe fuck!
Kelly’s expression is common among women suffering from back pain induced by breast implants. It is even more common among women with back pain induced by breast implants and ruined livers from the pain meds taken for the back pain from the breast implants.
Let me think… will medicare cover a torn asshole?
Boy howdy is my gynecologist gonna be pissed this time!
That gyroscope in my monkey hole gives me such a headache.
^piss flaps! I thought that was a Canadian thing.
Ugh! You’re saying I even took Nancy Dreuche with a strap-on?
“She works hard for her money …”
Shit! What did happen to that rubber fist I saw sitting on the nightstand last night everything is such a blur?
Her vagina smells like burnt rubber.
Is it two in my pink and one in my stink or the other way around? Aw, who cares anymore.
Does anybody know if a Midol will take the sting out of getting donkey punched?
For this first time in his dedicated career, Agent Jack Bauer regrets going soooo deep undercover.
Ugh! I can still smell balls on my chin and upperlip.
Those midgets said everything looked OK with my ovaries right?
Let me think a sec… and no. that’s right you can’t get pregnant from anal sex, whew! Dodged a bullet there!
It’s a good thing I’m standing right now because I sure wouldn’t be able to get up if I did a split right now.
If anybody says the words rusty, trombone, bow tie, or blumpkin I gonna blow!
I think that aardvark tickled my liver. Never again.
Okay so I don’t blow my diet… let me think how many calories are in cum? Times X amount of loads… so let’s see carry the 1 and yep I don’t have to eat again for 32 days!
Mental note: when Lexington Steele says he wants to go spelunking just say no.
Her vagina looks like the creature from PREDATOR!
After having more meat in one afternoon than can be found in a Chicago stockyard, Kelly decides to finally go vegan.
C’mon Boss we’re at 1000 MUTHAFUCCKA!
Will workmans comp cover a prolapsed vagina?
Awww! Fuck I just blew out my NuvaRing!
Whoa. Kelly clearly has MILEAGE.
I don’t wish to be crude, but everything about her suggests that her naughty bits have seen more traffic than the Lincoln Tunnel.
The focus it took to keep himself tucked was starting to wear on poor Armando.
“That’s the last time I let Melissa McCarthy choose the restaurant.”
It wasn’t even noon and she was already down to a DD. Candy knew that, soon, her cursed gypsy taytays would once again need to feed.
Despite the misgivings of the backers, production had already begun on the XXX parody of Contagion.
Ya mean this is what Whitney felt like? I’m not opening that 8-ball Bobby.
Fuck! The right one sprung a leak!
A still from the hit feature “Airtight Cougars 12:Mission Vegas”
“Fuck. I wish I had chosen to get both tits the same size”
The right one is making a squeaking noise like when you pinch a balloon and let the air out slowly.
Phew. I haven’t felt hot flashes like that since the Baron locked me in the Iron Maiden.
.
And fucked my monkey hole with his paddle.
.
“Two dragons raping a penguin? Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit huffing spray paint”
Fainting Cougar, Obvious Dragon.
Kelly’s only clue to what happened last night was $200 in her monkey hole, and a note on her dresser that said, “Thank’s for letting me pee in your butt”
With a perfect storm of bad parenting and legendary family fertility, Kelly shouldn’t be surprised she just became a 45 year old great grand MILF.
^ would that make her a sabre-tooth tiger instead of a cougar?
Another fratboy wants the bondage special …
.
When will it end?
I think my left boob is going AWOL.
Oh shiz, he has the same tat as I do!
Kelly was having a good time
Until Maurice bought her that 14th Mojito
And then jammed his gyroscope
Into her monkey hole
“I will never blow my son again!”
“I can’t believe I wore the magnetic bracelet being that i have this plate in my forehead!”
This chlamydia has made me so darn forgetful! Now where did I leave my clit ring?
I can’t believe that Warrant’s lead singer died and they aren’t playing poolside at happy hour!
This French silicone is giving me a headache.
LOL at old bleeth’s boobs and waist….
.
“That’s when she found out what dude’s thought of her chest.”
My IUD gets heavier each year.
Kelly? more like Steve.
“Oh, how I wish he’d put his shirt back on.”
“God damn, my cunt is on fire.”
“What did they fill these things with, concrete?”
“The girl with the dragon tattoo”
“This Prada purse is as heavy as my fake boob bags”
“ugh,I’m as sick as that douche bag behind me,Jesus Christ,he just farted”
“Oy vey, I have a headache from listening to all of the guys who made fun of me still trying to get into my little pants!”
the vaginoplasty pamphlet never said this was a side effect.
I think I farted and….jizzed in my pants
The Girl With The Dragon Poo-poo.
I dig the waistband frontal tramp tattoo strongly suggesting an “artistic” pussy that would otherwise be considered defiled.
What? only 142…143…
No amount of fake tits will make up for no hips. Even the crustacean Mongoloid isn’t impressed.