Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Clayton Runs With The Goose

And somewhere in suburban Wichita, a lonely grackle chokes forlornly on a cigarette butt.

‘Happy Valentine’s Day,” says the grackle.

# posted by douchebag1
3:51 pm February, 14 baffomet said...

A whole lot of WIN in this picture.

And by win, I mean the winner of the donkey crap award.

3:55 pm February, 14 soy bomb said...

Why couldn’t this douche run with some scissors instead?

3:59 pm February, 14 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I’m not sure if middle Bleeth is giving a circle O hand gesture or the Mayan Eye of Get this Fucker away from me!!

3:59 pm February, 14 Et Tu Douche? said...

Dude in background looks like he’s pinching a douche.

4:02 pm February, 14 Wedgie said...

It’s no accident that the happier girl is farther away from him. The really happy ones aren’t even in this pic.

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Do my eyes deceive me, or does the grackle have the dreaded mark of the bag on its forehead?

4:02 pm February, 14 Et Tu Douche? said...

^……deuce, actually same difference.

4:07 pm February, 14 Et Tu Douche? said...

Grackles are alright in my book, mischievous bastards that they are.

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Dive Bombers

4:09 pm February, 14 IL Douché said...

‘Wow, today’s pics are like a master class in douchebag finger pointing techniques.

4:12 pm February, 14 tall guy said...

Rhinestone bracelet=equals hipster douche.

4:19 pm February, 14 Hostile Grackle said...

That choad looks like a wannabe lawyer. Me and my boys will teach him a fuccen lesson:

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http://www.infowars.com/articles/science/birds_attack_people_houston.htm

4:33 pm February, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Intense Mona wants her Ovaltine

4:34 pm February, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Intense Mona is rolling a booger that she’ll wipe on Clayton’s white tie after the photo

4:35 pm February, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Intense Mona’s labia are extremely different lengths

4:38 pm February, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Intense Mona has a mole on her arse in the shape of an English Pound – £

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Sterling

4:39 pm February, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Intense Mona’s pussy stuble could kick Clayton’s ass

4:41 pm February, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Intense Mona’s mascara is actually her dead Mawmaw’s ashes mixed with Elmer’s glue

4:48 pm February, 14 Stephanie said...

And then the guy in the back puked all over them. Oh,I wish.

4:48 pm February, 14 Wedgie said...

Clayton might run with the goose, but he mates with the chimp.

5:01 pm February, 14 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

I. Miss. College.

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Sincerely,

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The Depressed Drunkard formerly known as Sergeant Scrote Stain AKA Captain Scurvy AKA The Frightened Ninja AKA Tom’s Foolery AKA Fish Slap’s Conscience

5:14 pm February, 14 Et Tu Douche? said...

Intense Mona demonstrates her patented technique for rollin’ the raisin.

5:21 pm February, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Intense Mona’s cleavage is 50% due to penile erosion.

5:35 pm February, 14 army (ret) douche said...

haha penile erosion. that gets my vote for comment of the week. does 2012 mark the return of the nuclear douche goggles? or is multi ring fingers the ominant trend?

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when you mock into the abyss, the abyss sits there with with a stupid look and points.

5:41 pm February, 14 Wheezer said...

Intense Mona is measuring Clayton’s maximum (ahem) “girth” between her fingers.

5:42 pm February, 14 Wheezer said...

Intense Mona is counting syllables on her fingers like so:

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“Eeny meeny miney mo, drive my knee into his scrote…..”

6:15 pm February, 14 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The second douchebag trend I have noticed for early 2012, in addition to the retard look, is the “pull-my-finger/smell-my-finger” pose. Looking at these two skanks I would say Clayton is offering us a sniff.

6:16 pm February, 14 Nostradouchus said...

Bleeth in the middle is a vet…many rides on the roofie rollercoaster.

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The one on the left is a rookie…Clayton is seeing to that. The white tie is a distraction.

7:59 pm February, 14 Stephanie said...

Chick in the middle puts her make up on with a roller and a stencil.

Tammy Faye Baker

9:27 pm February, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Intense Mona has a grackle nest in her biznatch

9:29 pm February, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Intense Mona eats couscous with her vestigial clitoris

9:30 pm February, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Intense Mona can pee her pants…… when her sister’s wearing them

9:31 pm February, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Intense Mona’s favorite wine is guacamole

9:33 pm February, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Intense Mona met Donkey Douche in DUI school

9:35 pm February, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Intense Mona has granny pannies made of designer lettuce

9:46 pm February, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Intense Mona’s favorite character on New Girl is Hannah Simone

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But wishes there was more vampires on the show

9:47 pm February, 14 Vin Douchal said...

I’m fuccen bored waiting to give the old lady the “Valentine’s Day Pounding”

9:55 pm February, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Hannah

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Fuccen

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Simone

9:58 pm February, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Aaaaaaaaaaaand scene. Good night folks

10:04 pm February, 14 Bret Easton Douchis said...

That pointing finger sure is red….

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…perhaps it was recently removed from a Baboon Sphincter…

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Intense Mona’s stare reminds me of the look my favorite Inflat-a-mate gave me as I unpacked her from the carton. A few puffs, and that look filled right up.

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10:06 pm February, 14 Medusa Oblongata said...

If heartburn was a person, it would be Intense Mona.

12:48 am February, 15 Douche Springsteen said...

Behind the shades, you don’t see the forlorn look in Clayton’s eyes that say “Fuck, man, coulda replaced those bad shocks in the Topaz for what I just shelled out for this bottle”.

Livin’ the dream.

12:50 am February, 15 Douche Springsteen said...

Intense Mona isn’t wearing eye make-up, she had just been staring down sun all day.

12:51 am February, 15 Douche Springsteen said...

the sun^

that’s old granddad typin’. I’m off to bed.

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alcoholics

4:10 am February, 15 tall guy said...

Dreuche, so as I suggested the last Monday night I asked a mutual friend if the German was married; vague answer, reconciliation suspected. So today seeking facts I ask another female member – fairly attractive Dutch MILF, who’s extremely high maintenance – anyway, turns out she’s separated but still ‘friends.’ A tad askew, yes? Motivated I send the following SMS: ‘I know this is kind of random, but I just had to tell you that you’re just too cute.’ Gold, eh what? I mean, moving like Stormtroppers into Poland! But no reply. We’ve a history of SMS so I thought she’s just not that into me. Pissed off, I sent another: ‘Yawn…’ Which shortly elicited the reply: ‘Lost for words but thank you’

Not a bad effort for day one. Need to step it up a notch tomorrow. Suggestions?

6:24 am February, 15 CB Popped said...

Intense Mona also works part time at Cheapcuts, in a shopping mall located in a relatively unknown part of California.

Penile erosion, lol. Im going to have to start using that one.

6:35 am February, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Intense Mona painted herself in a new shade Burnt Hubris.

7:15 am February, 15 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy, good effort, but I say instead of stepping it up you hold back. Wait to see if she contacts you back and then tommorow move to Phase 2 if she doesn’t. Since you asked her about the other woman, she knows you’re on the hunt. If these two women are competitive frenemies this could work to your advantage. Keep it low key right now. Maybe next SMS ask how her Valentines Day was. Act shocked if she replies, “Lonely, I didn’t really do anything.” Even chicks that say they think Valentines is lame still are on some level bummed if they spend it completely alone. If this chick is high matinence she will definitely think its important. Remember act shocked but do not pity her or go into your flower shop diatribe.

7:24 am February, 15 Evilmoose said...

Think that tie will support his weight? We can only hope.

8:37 am February, 15 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Intense Mona’s hand is in Chi Mudra

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avatars

3:23 pm February, 15 yoyo said...

In the military, isn’t it true, when you are forced to pose for propaganda pictures, you can make a circle with your fingers to show that it was coerced? Is that the signal poor Mona in the middle is sending us?Does she in fact need saving?

8:07 pm February, 16 macfleckchoad said...

Intense Mona is giving us the Cabar Feidh, or deer’s horn; she’s a highland dancer. She couldn’t find her goat horns.

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