Saturday, February 25, 2012

Comment of the Week: Dude McCrudeshoes

From yesterday’s Tony Tentatively Makes the Rocker Horns for Melodie thread:

—————–

Somewhere in Tony’s past is a whitewashed baby crib with layer upon layer of toxic lead paint. Today, due to deterioration in fine motor skill, Tony can barely make the rocker horns. It’s a heartbreaking condition. That’s why I ask you to give generously to the MPRA: the McCrude Prosthetic Rocker Horn Association. Your generous gift of $1000 dollars or more, or your generous donation of the sexual services of a barely legal quartasian, can help provide Tony with a lifelike hand that, through the use of space age titanium joints and lifelike silicone skin covering, can make Rocker Horns, the Shocker, and even the Spocker a reality for Douchebags like Tony.

McCrude Prosthetic Rocker Horn Hands are available in white, orange, and even darker orange.

—————-

# posted by douchebag1
1:23 pm February, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She’s giving me The Mayan Eye Of Premature Ejaculation And Guilty Burning Penis Morning After. His shirt says WESP. WESP is cleft palate speak for the direction WEST.

.

I brought my passport and criminal record to an appointment at the local port of entry to the US with the Homeland Security, FBI, and Immigration Dudes (respect) today and I am after a seven year exile once again persona grata in your fine country. It will be my personal duty, nay, my personal Odyssey to ski every hill in the northeast and spend my not hard-earned money to bolster the economy of your forgotten New England.

.

Liberals

1:31 pm February, 25 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Rev

Jay Peak is the shit, son!!

1:32 pm February, 25 Et Tu Douche? said...

Those boobs are real and they’re spectacular.

1:36 pm February, 25 Nancy Dreuche said...

McCrudeshoes done it again. m/

1:54 pm February, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Et Tu

.

Indeed. I miss the powdery Glades at Jay and the brutal leg breaking ice at Whiteface. Wilderness/Balsams at Dixville Notch, NH and Sugarloaf, ME are also the shit. Not so much Killington and places closer to NYC. I don’t go for the fashion. just the buzz.

1:58 pm February, 25 Et Tu Douche? said...

@ Rev,

Don’t get Mad River Glen wrong.

.

Plakes

2:27 pm February, 25 Wheezer said...

“…..available in white, orange, and even darker orange.

.

“Even darker orange” FTMFW! Well played, sir! Dude…..um, Sir! Dude…..

2:30 pm February, 25 Wheezer said...

Now that I’ve been caught by the Mayan Eye of that hott brunette Katherine, I must go fwap. She has hypnotic powers, I tell you!

2:37 pm February, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Spocker. Trademark that Dude. Spocker is for the anally adventurous women.

.

@Et Tu

.

Mad River Glen is not for children or snowboards. Once the rotten kids get it going on some local NY hills Jay is first stop for a week. Best accomodations and skiing late season in the East. Going between Easter and summer.

3:00 pm February, 25 tall guy said...

Congrats Dude McCrudeshoes. And those boobies are certainly spectacular.

3:49 pm February, 25 The Dude said...

Spocker?? I am very, very afraid. I’m gonna go hide in those boobies.

4:14 pm February, 25 Olddog1 said...

Two words for Katherine, Wow, Wow.

OK, four;

wow, Wow, WOW! and Yowza!!

5:27 pm February, 25 Sir Huddleston Fuddleston said...

Dude is notta douche.

5:32 pm February, 25 tall guy said...

Is a douche. Signifiers include forefinger ring, wrist band, douchey looking bracelet, clear beverage cup w/- drinking straw. ‘Nuff said.

5:32 pm February, 25 Wedgie said...

Rev, any woman that looks at you gives you the Mayan Eye of Premature Ejaculation.

It’s not their fault. Rub a numbie on your helmet, and cure yourself. You don’t always have to snort all of it, you know.

5:50 pm February, 25 Jeet Kune Douche said...

WHO IS THAT BRUNETTE SLURPINESS??

I’d happily volunteer to be buttraped by a herd of rhinos just to have a chance of sniffing her panties….

5:57 pm February, 25 Nancy Dreuche said...

Guy in the pic gets a notta and a warning to go easy on the jewelry and decorative wrist sweatband. But other than that he doesn’t appear to be too obnoxious. As for the little straw in the drink, as long as he only uses it to stir he may pass Go and collect $200 to blow on drinks for his lady friend here. Allow me to be the first (increasingly awkward) to nom this young lass for HOH. C’Mon you guys, seriously what gives?

6:00 pm February, 25 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Jeet Kune, now you’re talking. I was beginning to think I was in a harem filled with eunuchs instead of whatever the hell you people used to be.

6:17 pm February, 25 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I would hold her upside down by one ankle and finger bang her Spocker style with the other hand. I wouldn’t want to get too much freakier than that on Saturday afternoon at the beach seeing as how there are kids around and stuff.

6:21 pm February, 25 The Dude said...

I’m starting a farm here in my hiding place between her boobies. AND, I’m charting my own personal landing strip!

7:05 pm February, 25 troy tempest said...

I would cheerfully have my face chewed off by termites after being soaked in a vat of clorox for a week just to have the chance to lick the skidmarks off the undies of the creepy old bitch who ran the five and dime where the hottie in the photo’s aunt Thelma, was caught shoplifting a copy of Tiger Beat because she wanted to play with her monkey hole while gazing at David Cassidy.

7:08 pm February, 25 Nostradouchus said...

Amazing funbags are amazing.

his jersey says west, but her boobs point to mecca.

assalaam ilaykim, motherfucker!

and speaking of mother fuckers, he can go play with delonte west for all i care.

cavaliers.

11:33 pm February, 25 The Dude said...

No matter how many visits he pays to his delontist, Mr. West is gonna look like a complete and total douchebag next to this glorious would-be girlfriend of mine.

.

He could have just returned from saving the Middle East from its middleness, scarred but resolved to keep the good fight, shows up next to her, he’d look like a goose-lipped douchebag. Hopeless.

.

She’s mine, fellow baghunters. Put her in the Hall of Mine.

.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….huh?

1:22 am February, 26 Morbo said...

I really want to punch this guy, but then the boobies speak to me in soft whispers and say, “Morbo … let it go.”

And I do. Instead of punching, I’m reduced to giving him a disdainful look and concentrating on the hypnotic swirl of Katherine’s areolae as she giggles and jiggles in the deep recesses of my imagination.

That’s a powerful rack, gentlemen. We must be careful it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands.

1:54 am February, 26 tall guy said...

Yo! Dreuche, since you’re handing out a notta pass for The Shawn, I feel it’s only fair to warn you that I, too, sport a shawn look. Just sayin’, I mean since you’re so into that look and all.

1:58 am February, 26 tall guy said...

…Cept mine’s a bit longer. And obviously looks much, much better.

2:12 am February, 26 tall guy said...

I 2nd the nom for HoH, but further images are required for induction.

3:12 am February, 26 tall guy said...

Yo! Troy T, Vin D and/or anyone else who wants to weigh in w/- an opinion: what’s the MOMA in NYC like. I’ve not just heard of it, and I’ve seen the website, but insider views appreciated.

3:16 am February, 26 tall guy said...

Shoulda had a question mark.

6:50 am February, 26 troy tempest said...

@Tall Guy – the MOMA’s a great Museum. Museum is where you put dead things. So if you like dead art, go!

8:34 am February, 26 Wedgie said...

Do people say “yo” a lot in Australia?

9:01 am February, 26 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy, I never said I was into it, its just at least its not all gelled up and shit.

.

@Wedgie, on my planet we say “and shit” a lot.

9:13 am February, 26 FredN. said...

Maybe I didn’t read the comments close enough, but no one caught that the dude is missing the last joint on his forefinger?

.

Weird.

12:47 pm February, 26 tall guy said...

Yo! Wedgie, rarely do we say “yo” “and shit.”

.

FredN., I noticed straight away. I figured he needed insurance money so had a fake accident at work then went to the doctor who produced a chart giving details of body parts and their monetary value. Surprising was the value of some parts.

1:52 pm February, 26 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

His finger tip was torn off in a tragic Spocker fingerbanging incident. Katherine’s anus is like a venus flytrap. Its not all fun and games Dude McCrudeshoes.

2:15 pm February, 26 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I third the nomination for the HOH, but do not need to see another photo. Her “Sicilian Eye of You’ll Never Catch of Glimpse of My Nethers,” is a classic in teasing and boner inducing moments.

6:39 pm February, 26 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Big effin cans or no big effin cans in the picture this guy is still a douche in my book!! I want to uppercut him in the taint with brass knuckles!! He is giving the Mayan eye of shit head entitlement/I’m better than you/I workout all day and party all night because my family is rich and need taken down a peg or twelve!

Violent impulses!

6:36 am February, 27 CB Popped said...

Mayan Eye for sure,,,,plus cute subtle dainty tippy toe.

6:37 am February, 27 CB Popped said...

It sucks that her hand is blocking the view of her surely wonderful va jay jay.

8:13 am February, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

If you shave your head because you think it’s cool=autodocuhe. Guy has a full head of hair but wants to be bald???? I shave my pate because I’m half bald naturally and look like a dork either way. He needs to be blindfolded and have his nads smeared with peanut butter and then led into a room full of hungry pit bulls. I sure know what mine would do to him.

3:03 pm February, 28 Ned Ryerson said...

Bald headed asshole is an escaped institutionalized retard. It would be fun motor boating those mammeries just before giving her the pearl necklace.

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