Saturday, February 18, 2012

Comment of the Week: Medusa Oblongata

Resident gorgon M.O. takes down the rich asswipe that is Z and wins the coveted HCwDB of the Week:

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Possibly the greatest pleasure I could have all day would be to walk past him, and with a deft and angry flick of my wrist, flip that drink up in the air and splatter him in cranberry puss cocktail. And as he stood there, gasping, his white outfit now sloppily tie-dyed red, I’d look back, lock eyes with him and growl, “That’s for being a twat.”

Twatterflies

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# posted by douchebag1
12:42 pm February, 18 Et Tu Douche? said...

The Greazepit has dreads now? WTF?

12:42 pm February, 18 Tattiana Groinshavia said...

First! I would prefer to sloppily tie this Eurohottie before carelessly dyeing Ambitious Mummysboy’s chiseled groin with a tattoo gun.

…..

Sponge bob

12:43 pm February, 18 Et Tu Douche? said...

Oh, nice work Madame O.

12:49 pm February, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

Are his eyebrows dreads too? Dreadbrows? Anyways this guy still sucks greased up dongs.

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Solid verbal bitchslap MO.

1:36 pm February, 18 Wheezer said...

If this greasestain putz is a “Mummy’s Boy,” then can we wrap his sorry ass in cloth and seal him in a vat of formaldehyde?

1:40 pm February, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I agreed with the Divine Miss MO when this was first written. I was all over it. And by all over it I mean like every two-bit black Baptist hustler and piece of poo to crawl out from under their cabin and scooge at the chance to talk to reporters because they were very close and profoundly saddened by the ascension to God’s grace of a talented crackhead. Fucking heathens.

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Party at Lenny The Box house tonight.

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Drunken Irish Catholics

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2:15 pm February, 18 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Well written M.O.

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Is Greazepit in a Milli Vanilli cover band now ?

2:35 pm February, 18 Little Willie said...

I always wondered what a tattooed turd looked like. Now I know and am sickened by the sight of it. Somebody please do humanity a favor and flush it down the toilet.

3:18 pm February, 18 The Dude said...

I happen to like cranberry puss cocktails, but that’s very well put, Med

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I call them foofies so there’s no doubt about the lack of machismo. I try to finish them pretty fast so no one soils my white tux.

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I can drink beer too.

3:23 pm February, 18 Et Tu Douche? said...

Mmmmmm…….Party at Lenny The Box house tonight.

4:03 pm February, 18 Wedgie said...

Crazy Dreads Killa

4:04 pm February, 18 Wedgie said...

BTW, for those of you who have never seen the real Medusa, the girl in the photo above looks a lot like her.

My favorite Chicago redhead.

4:06 pm February, 18 Wedgie said...

But if that was the real M.O., she’d have that guy in a headlock and be punching his little dimply chin with gusto. And brass knuckles.

Love ya Red.

4:09 pm February, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

@The Dude, do you own this white tux or do you just rent one for special occasions? I’m doing a book report on bad fashion choices and I would like a first person account.

5:16 pm February, 18 Doucheywallnuts said...

^iIs that Milli or Vanilli?

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Lipsyncers

5:19 pm February, 18 Doucheywallnuts said...

BTW, I’d like to per the first person in this thread call the guy in the photo above a cunt for wearing Mummy’s Boy boxers.

5:22 pm February, 18 Doucheywallnuts said...

I have a party at Louie the Cramp’s hacienda tonight. Then we move over to Morty the Toe’s place for a nightcap.

6:55 pm February, 18 The Dude said...

I don’t have time to read Mummy’s tattoo in its entirety. Are there Crib Notes available?

7:01 pm February, 18 tall guy said...

Nice one, Medusa! Sadly this excrescence lives in Australia. Fortunately, he’s a 12 hour drive up the road from la casa tall guy.

7:30 pm February, 18 The Dude said...

oooh, you speak Australish!

7:34 pm February, 18 Wheezer said...

Fortunately, he’s a 12 hour drive up the road from la casa tall guy.

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Then he’s even farther away from me than I could’ve ever hoped. Thank Tebus!

8:22 pm February, 18 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Wedgie: Based on your description of M.O. and some other clues, I think I found a Model Mayhem page for her. Does that mean her and Champagne Katie, like hang out together ? I gotta get one of those model mayhem things going. I wonder if there is a modeling need for hairy chested guys with moustaches ? I got a sweet 1981 Ferrari

10:40 pm February, 18 Jacques Douchida said...

Sadly this excrescence lives in Australia.

No, really? I’m embarassed for my kind. Where is 12 hours drive from where? Maybe I’m closer and can beat la casa to the punch… being a groin punch… and sweep away the by now entranced vixen who has realised the error of her ways on spying my conservative, timeless garb and classic chiseled good looks etc etc

10:53 pm February, 18 Jacques Douchida said...

actually, she’s not that hot, and her titties are a bit small, but I will still travel and administer a groin punch, taking care to tattoo HCwDB on my knuckles first…

10:57 pm February, 18 Jacques Douchida said...

tall guy even…

12:48 am February, 19 tall guy said...

Your English is everything that can reasonably expected.

5:25 am February, 19 CB Popped said...

The Douche Virus strain has infected all continents.

7:58 am February, 19 Medusa Oblongata said...

Oh, hell, I wasn’t even paying attention. Thanks, Boss! And thanks to all you hunters for your support.

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@Wedgie–I had to scroll back up. Yeah, you’re right, there is a striking resemblance. Only my hair is a lot closer to Sideshow Bob’s.

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Wheezer 1:36 FTW. That, after pulling his brain out through his nose with a hook, of course.

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@Magnum Douche–I assure you, nobody wants me to be model less than I do. I’m 37, and while my face has held up remarkably well, my nethers are melting into pools of lumpy pudding. I’m losing the battle to my carbohydrate problem. The only way I’d get a modeling gig was perhaps as the ‘before’ picture for a laser clinic or something.

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11:26 am February, 19 tall guy said...

It’s funny how the douche become self-consciously defensive and assumes it’s a wholesale condemnation of tattoos when witty commentators here point out the awfulness of tattoos chosen by the douche. Clearly the douche is working with his wits. Obviously the douche will only ever be a part time employee.

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Douchebags: who else dumbs down so naturally?

7:10 pm February, 19 Nostradouchus said...

LOL at ‘Ambition.” I wonder what part of ambition involves rolling around in a club 24/7.

7:58 am February, 20 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I blame her poor choice in men on the rain… Ugh, that was bad

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record skippers

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