Saturday, February 4, 2012

Comment of the Week: Purple punguine

Short and sweet, Purple punguine sums up American Scrotewank at its purest fraudulence in the Whole Lotta Shite thread, and wins the coveted Comment of the Week:

—–

As a former soldier and a combat vet to boot, am I the only one who finds the wannabe Dogtag bling offensive?

——-

No. No you’re not, P.P. You are most definitely not the only one.

But since the illustrative pic has no hotts, this one’s for you, P.P.

Or perhaps I should say those two are for you.

# posted by douchebag1
12:37 pm February, 4 Bigphatnotadouche said...

Purple:

Thanks for serving. Now go ahead and take the douche out.

12:46 pm February, 4 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Tiny Dancer Maria is looking more bleethy in every new pick. Bomb Squad ? yeah it looks like her fake orange tits are going to explode. I’m afraid she is infected with the virus. I weep.

12:54 pm February, 4 YA said...

Aww WTF, I thought they might be real before. :/

1:03 pm February, 4 YA said...

Okay, using my superior stalking skills, I’ve managed to locate that photo to here:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=264737173570548&set=a.260824267295172.73361.248391778538421&type=3&theater

TDM is Australian??

1:10 pm February, 4 tall guy said...

That’s disturbing, YA. From the pages I looked at it may be TDM resides on Queensland’s Gold Coast. If so, she’s to be pitied more than censured.

1:15 pm February, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

@ YA, you done us proud. Also you back up one of the reasons I keep my Facebook page on lockdown. Anyway, as someone who has banged a soldier (anything to help out my country) I think unearned dog tags are rediculous and should be thoroughly mocked as well as the chicks who fall for it. The dude I gave the business to was in the Airforce and I made him show me a picture of a plane prior to just to make sure. Do not question my methods!

1:16 pm February, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

@ tall guy, with my help you could be boffing her tommorow.

1:20 pm February, 4 YA said...

Tell us more, Nancy…

1:29 pm February, 4 tall guy said...

I’ve already stated my opinion re. TDM, Dreuche. She’s alright, but the way her bleethness increases in every new photo doesn’t exactly surprise me. Plus the only way i’ll travel 12 hours to the Gold Coast and make small talk w/- her drongo mates is if TDM made me bark at the moon, which she so far she has not. A crispy roast duck might get me there though…

1:32 pm February, 4 tall guy said...

Also, Dreuche, so anyone brandishing a picture of an aeroplane cut out of an aviation magazine stands a fair chance of throwing you up in the air, eh? Interesting…

1:52 pm February, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

PP is correct. And a salute to your service assuming you are an ally of course, and I am assuming that.

.

And TDM appears to be a proven paid to party party woo-woo girl and I am OK with that, And by that I mean Boner.

.

And the Superbowl had begun and I am getting drunk as fuck for the next 32 hours.

1:53 pm February, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Nancy spreads her flaps if the breeze walks by.

2:17 pm February, 4 The Dude said...

Bad enough Woody Harrelson feels the need to hide his hairline, but fake tags? uhm, what if he earned them in a movie?

.

.

Super Dome

2:38 pm February, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

@RevChad, this is no time for you to be jelly. Remember I like my steak cooked medium rare. What kind of dressing are you serving on Super Bowl Sunday? I like to know what you’ll be tossing the salad with.

3:21 pm February, 4 Wedgie said...

TDM = PTP

And you guys are a bunch of buzz-kills.

Jelly Dong

3:28 pm February, 4 tall guy said...

Righto, ‘Bagsters, cabin fever’ll set in w/- any further hibernation so as the sun is now officially out (or was earlier on this morning) I’m hitting the beach for a while. I’ll be toting my underwater camera & will try for some action shots. Obviously not in the calibre of Wedgie Jnr, but hopefully good.

.

Coupla things: TDM is rootable. But fake canned & orange hued. Kroeger still lusts after Dreuche. And what’s all this Superbowl shiz? Is that, like, on this weekend? Okay.

.

PTP? WTF?

3:52 pm February, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy, of course he showed me more than a picture of a plane to prove worthy of boning. But I am a lady and I do not divulge those details. I will say that after he sent me a pic of his patriotic peen there was nothing I could do but salute it in my own special way. Once again, I’ve divulged too much. Damn you, my new go to drink. Gizzies, Gin + Izzies. Try it dudes, like I tell all the men I bone, you’ll thank me later.

4:27 pm February, 4 McCrude said...

As I wrote in my earlier exposé, I find the paid to party lifestyle fascinating. I’ve met some of these Bleeths, and they burn Golightly at both ends. I can respect that, as long as they stay out if my wallet.

5:05 pm February, 4 Jeet Kune Douche said...

&Nancy Dreuche

Ma’am, I’m afraid you’ve just opened yourself up to all sorts of aviation-based childish quips, a-la “Landing the Eagle”, “Showing you his Cockpit”, “Pilot to Bombadier”, “Angle of Attack”, etc etc etc…… 😉

5:06 pm February, 4 Jeet Kune Douche said...

OH, and regarding the thread topic: I thought that wearing dogtags without actually having served was illegal, as in Federal Felony.

5:57 pm February, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Jeet Kune Douche, I felt as if the universe was a little out of balance. I’ve got so much shit on you guys I thought it only fair to reveal something from my past. It’s totally worth it.

6:51 pm February, 4 purple punguine said...

Well thank you I would gladly accept her and all of her orangeness, wonder if shes full of Vitamin C?

Yes Rev you would be correce US army and Bigphat as much as i would love to I do believe that taking them out would be in one way or another be some sort of crime, I believe PETA would get mad about attacking helpless dumb animals.

6:53 pm February, 4 Scrotewank Jones and the furry furry Douchetrots said...

The first thing I did was look up the average household income for Queensland to see if a possible pay for play could be made toward TDM. Though I’d love to see Brisbane, I don’t think this one is going to pan out for me. Oh well, let’s hit up Thailand.

6:59 pm February, 4 ehcuodouche said...

TDM has the bleeth pretty bad. Soon, they’re gonna take her behind a sheet at the hospital where she’ll explode.

7:01 pm February, 4 tall guy said...

Dreuche, maybe there’s a book in your stories. Not sure what the writing lark is like over there but here it’s spoiled by publishers and/or writers with no more in their balls and ovaries than stale lemonade. Snobbery and elitism abound yet many writers live quite comfortable on handouts from the Arts Council or literary grants: a glorified writer’s dole.

I say you have, Dreuche. Got a turn of phrase that is. Kroeger too, so perhaps you two can collaborate. Just a thought.

I’m home from the beach for lunch and also to be out of the harsh midday sun. Was nice down there. Plenty of swell, Wedgie! And an abundance of titted (they probably weren’t post-production fitted) woozas. I’ll hit it again this arvo when the tide has changed sufficiently. Cowabunga!

7:43 pm February, 4 Wedgie said...

^Southern ocean; I’m jelly. We get the 56 degree part of the Pacific; it’s full of seaweed, plankton and Mexican sewage so you can’t see the Whitey about to take a nice taste of your ass. Full wetties with hoods, gloves and booties (‘cuz I’s a big fuccen pussy) make us look like tasty seals.

Meanwhile, you guys are trunking it with 100+ foot vis. Must be nice. Send me some pics.

8:24 pm February, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy, c’mon, a book? All I do is talk dirty to you guys under the guise of fighting the good fight (mocking douchebags). I hardly think that warrents a book. Mad props maybe but not a book. And the day I coauthor anything with RevChad is the day Evil Bert gets into the HOH. And you all know that ain’t happening anytime soon.

8:43 pm February, 4 B said...

I think the Little Ball of Hate should get a notta-douche on the basis of Celebrating-the Stanley-Cup allowance, but that’s me.

10:08 pm February, 4 Olddog1 said...

I think it is sad. The wearing of fake dog-tags, that is. As a former member of the US Army I salute my fellow veterans here on DB1’s site and because I am an opened minded sort, I will include members and former members of the USAF in that group. I also salute TDM in a more gallant style.

10:42 pm February, 4 Edith Anne Tarbox of Dripping Springs Tx said...

to be fair, that isn’t a dogtag its a life alert signaller. most people get the bracelet, but if you, like he go spellunking in plinky’s mom’s rib fat, you could earn your own cred.

12:52 am February, 5 tall guy said...

Yo! Wedgie, I snapped a few off this arvo, of which (the usual) less than 10% are useable. I’ll happily post ’em but do not know how to on this site and I do not use any online photo storage sites. Anyway, inspired by the totally awesome surf photography I saw on your son’s site I plan to get out w/- my camera (a Lumix – image quality isn’t great) asap.

2:28 am February, 5 Nostradouchus said...

Better than bashing the guy, how ’bout we send him to the ‘Stan?

6:12 am February, 5 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Dreuche, you are officially the world’s worst cyber detective. YA totally scooped you. I didnt see the Aussie angle coming. TDM doesn’t even look like a felon.

7:02 am February, 5 CB Popped said...

Damn, I had hoped TDM’s breasts were real too…..

7:09 am February, 5 Bag A said...

TDM was called out as an Aussie PTP girl back on December 15 in the comments thread. This fact is ancient history. Mel even gave her real name, so anyone can look her up.

7:24 am February, 5 Doucheywallnuts said...

What’s the call on dog tags being sported along with the other douche assessories and accoutrements in a totally Douchey way by a vet? Is there an exception granted along the lines given to rock stars?

.

It’s taken me weeks to figure out that TDM does not stand for Team Death Match. That being said, her appearance does get more bleethy with each exposure, her forehead grows, and she seems less than attractive. I prefer amateur woo party girls, not those who get paid to show up at douche get-togethers. Bleeth years are similar to dog years; if she is 21, in bleeth years that’s like 27, 22 is 29, 23 is 30 and so on, adding one year to the spread as you age. So by 26 a bleeth woo party girl is 36.

7:52 am February, 5 Nancy Dreuche said...

@McCrudeshoes, that shit got solved, did it not? Now that what I’m talkin’ about. I facilitated it and shit.

7:55 am February, 5 Nancy Dreuche said...

And crap, those Gizzes I drank are some mad truth serum. Sorry I got all tawdry yesterday. Well its Sunday, time to say my B and Jesus grants me a pass.

8:22 am February, 5 tall guy said...

So it’s settled then: PTP TDM fast approaches bleeth to the power of 10. No worries.

8:35 am February, 5 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Bag A, thanks. Either forgot or missed that. And now that the mystery is solved, I agree she’s getting more bleethy. I’d still try to save her, but not all that hard. And by try I mean a swat on the arse and a facial.

9:22 am February, 5 Nancy Dreuche said...

@McCrudeshoes 8:35a, thank you for finally admitting to what I’ve been saying all along in regards to “saving” these bleeths. I feel validated and a little vindicated and a little less vindictive.

1:16 am February, 6 Stephanie said...

Purple,it’s called friendly fire.

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