Friday, February 3, 2012

Friday Thoughts and Links

Chin pubes?

More like 70s chin bush by way of Rip Van Winkle werewolf Sy Sperling miracle gro Chia Pet Star Trek Genesis Project Doctor Who hirsute regeneration formula number nine.

Or something like hat.

And boobs.

Good bless the inner sideboob revealing dress. Take that Victorian Era!

Here’s your links:

Your HCwDB Book Pick of the Week: “In the sunset of dissolution, everything is illuminated by the aura of nostalgia, even the guillotine.”

The great people of Chicago honor the late, great, Don Cornelius with an imprompu Soul Train dance-off. Peace, love and soul, Mr. Cornelius. Sorry to learn how much pain you were in, but may you find peace in the next world.

For a weekend geekgasm: Every Doctor Who Episode Ever in one montage. Zygons for the win.

Speaking of Who, a ‘bag hunter nearly had a whobag jumpoff heart attack when perusing the wine aisle recently.

New Zealand wins a major battle against Douchal Earth! Massive props to the Kiwis as the tide starts to turn.

Tattoo Locations.

Mr. Britney Spears fondles the Future Ex-Mrs. DB1. And a piece of my uvula dies.

A longtime fan of HCwDB asks us to check out his teenage son’s new photography website. and throw him some support. My readers have teenage sons?

When you watch the white rage in our political process today, read Jourdon Anderson’s 1865 letter to his former Master and remind yourself where it comes from. Condescending asswipes making jokes about “food stamps” because they’re still pissed they lost their slaves.

Champagne Katie at the Prom is the greatest image in the history of images.

Pray for poor Kaitlyn.

Who says indie film is dead?

Uhm, yeah. Actually I do. I say it’s dead. Dead as Bingham Ray.

Speaking of indie film, the great Bobcat Goldthwait’s new movie looks genius: God Bless America (trailer). And it’s a cast reunion from One Crazy Summer.

Okay, here it is, you’ve earned it:

Quattro Dart Pear.

Mmmm… Eight slices of doughy pumperfondle.

# posted by douchebag1
12:32 pm February, 3 Wheezer said...

Two things (or maybe 5): I think that’s Boobster Connie sans specs in the main pic.

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And didn’t I submit the Quattro Pear pic once a long time ago? Or maybe it’s also a repeat. No matter! It’s fappin’ time!

12:46 pm February, 3 melvil_duchi said...

pumperfondle

12:51 pm February, 3 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Apropos of nothing DB1….some of your readers have grown sons who are older than MOST of your readers…

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….and who find their father’s obsession with douchebags and your website highly entertaining…

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..

…and also a bit disturbing.

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.But not so disturbing that they refuse to change his colostomy bag.

12:53 pm February, 3 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

If this is in fact Boobster Connie on a 2nd pass, then I submit we rush her into the Hall of Hott! Well perhaps a few more pics to fwap to… I mean to evaluate.

1:10 pm February, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I never thought that the reincarnation of Michael Jackson would get together with Uncle Cracker.

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Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!

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Son

1:12 pm February, 3 Edith Anne Tarbox of Dripping Springs Tx said...

so if champagne katie’s dress matches the car, does that mean her tiara matches her vajazzing? wouldn’t it be embarassing if she vajazzed out the words “prom queen” on herself, and she didn’t win? i mean who’s gonna see it but her date, his bros, their dates, and all their facebook friends? besides other than looking like she would blow a hobo for a swig of wild irish rose what is so special about her? other than the fact she would blow a hobo for a swig of wild irish rose.

its a shame sucks by sucksworse has become what it has become, its a shame that corporate sponsors are whoring it out, and indie is dead because indie distribution is dead, same with music, and touring, and every real reason real people went to sucks by sucksworse. the real shame is that the corporations don’t even need the venue for their feces. they only want it now, because they never could get it, when it was worth having. they are like the dude who goes back home for a reunion, or facebooks up to folks in his home town, and then goes and slags chicks he wouldn’t pee in with dark socks horsewhip just because of who they used to think they were.

1:17 pm February, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Wedgie is a son Whoros!

1:20 pm February, 3 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Wheezer

Good eye, son. That is indeed Boobster Connie sans specs.

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Mmmmm……. Quattro Dart Pear and me thinks the Rev is asleep at the keyboard cause I gotta believe he wouldn’t of missed the one on the right.

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That Don Cornelius video gives me hope in humanity. That was quite cool and a proper way to send off that arbiter of Soul Music.

1:26 pm February, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Is that chick in the gun movie clip the cool daughter girl from Californication?

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And I’ll take mocha grande pear on the right for the boner Alex.

1:27 pm February, 3 tall guy said...

Indie film boob fondle @ 2:11.

1:31 pm February, 3 Et Tu Douche? said...

Re; “Pray for poor Kaitlyn.” The Onion is spot on as I have witnessed this in real life. It’s a dam shame that parents are giving their kids “smart” phones and laptops at 12, 13 years of age. I shudder to think what they will become when they’re in their mid 20’s. Fuck FB, texting, Words with Friends etc; as it is all mind rot garbage.

1:32 pm February, 3 Et Tu Douche? said...

Yes!!!!! The Rev is awake I knew he wouldn’t let that slip by him.

1:42 pm February, 3 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Rev

“Is that chick in the gun movie clip the cool daughter girl from Californication?” if by cool daughter you mean Mia the one that Hank banged not realizing she was 19? then no cause she was smoking hot and the only reason to watch that seasons shows and I can remember her vividly. I’d love to get punched like that.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/3423666/madeline_zima_californication/

1:42 pm February, 3 Nancy Dreuche said...

Fuck water, I’m gonna see if Costco sells Stackhouse wine and buy it to replace all the stuff I drank at my parents house while they were gone. They like to try new things and if my Mom complains I’ll tell my Dad he best keep his whobag in check. Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go pumperfondle myself a sandwich. Happy weekend and shit if you celebrate such holidays.

1:43 pm February, 3 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Wheezer is a genius. I knew I’d recognized those tatas, but Wheezer beat me to it.

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Douchebag seems to have melded chin fung with the type of hand towel conveyor machine you used to find in gas stations. Neither seems very sanitary, though in truth I think the gas station towel smells a little better.

1:47 pm February, 3 tall guy said...

The photo’s are very good as well. Yo! Wedgie, is that the lad who snapped ’em? I remember my old dad used to drive me around Sydney’s Northern Beaches when I was about 12yo so I could shoot Super 8 movies. Memories.

1:54 pm February, 3 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

At least Champagne Katie’s dress will color coordinate when it’s tossed into the back seat. That shows a real sense of style.

1:55 pm February, 3 tall guy said...

Lantern-jawed hott in main pic has glorious boobs. Agree w/- Kroeger though in her more than slight resemblance of The King Of Pop.

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Billie Jean.

Idiot w/- chin beard probably shakes hands limply.

2:25 pm February, 3 tall guy said...

Yo! Dreuche, what’s the John Dory? You’re in’n’out of here quicker than two Methodists having sex. You on a promise or something? Ah, well. Half your luck. Enjoy your weekend, fellow Bagsters. I plan to train a bit, eat a bit and otherwise take it real easy. A mate has, unfortunately, ‘requested’ I ‘help’ him recoup loses from a recalcitrant punter. But that’s another story for another time. The wombat probably deserves a smack anyway.

2:33 pm February, 3 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Boobster Connie looks like she’s smuggling soup bowls in that dress. Meh.

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Champagne Katie proves that good looks and a sense of style don’t have to go hand in hand, and dressing to match the car indicates that when it comes to men she chooses poorly.

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Bourbonists

2:35 pm February, 3 I R A Darth Aggie said...

All I can say about the dart pear x4 is overdressed. Please, ladies, make yourselves comfortable.

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As for Champagne Katie, all I can remind her of is short dress, hood of car, some assembly required.

2:36 pm February, 3 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I peed in a undersized eye-patch once.

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I mock with my mind, not with my feet.

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For reals.

3:10 pm February, 3 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy, hahaha, I like that comparison of my comments to Methodist sex and in my real life I’m known as one-liner Nancy. Medusa pretty much summed it up best by saying I come in here and fart and then leave. Are you gonna be busting chops this weekend tall guy? Perhaps the German broad would like to hear about your rabble rousing. Run it by us first though so we can tell you what to leave out.

3:29 pm February, 3 tall guy said...

Dreuche, I don’t really bust chops – if ‘busting chops’ means hitting idiots. My appearance is based on reputation and strictly for show. He’s a degenerate gambler who owes money all over town. Perhaps I’ll receive a standing ovation.

Re. the German: fairly sure she’s married. I’ve refrained from SMSing a fellow group member to enquire after her (the German’s) marital status. But this Monday I plan to find out. I’ve a hankering to practice my game elsewhere this weekend. There’s plenty of available single lasses around.

3:40 pm February, 3 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

After a girlish tinkle, Boobster Connie will dab her zipper dry with only the softest of expertly condishioned chin fung.

4:03 pm February, 3 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy, run that game wherever you can. Practice makes perfect. 86 the German if she’s married. Never worth it in the long run. There are barbies to be shrimped! Really just one day I should set up that site to help other players get back in there. This gift should not go unshared!

4:40 pm February, 3 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Wait! No second calls for Boobster Connie to join the Hall of Hott???? Now I know there is something in the water that is making all of usyou gay.

4:41 pm February, 3 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Wait! That dint come out right. But you know what I mean.

5:06 pm February, 3 Vin Douchal said...

In Vegas. Shitfaced by 3pm. ….. Banged the old lady with a giant lipper of Kodiak in my mouth……… Thought of new flavor while eating puss…. Tuna chew…. Hit 4 wild deuces at lunch, tipped big titty bartender $50 …. She bent over a lot in front of me the rest of the time …… Asking for Stackhouse wine every where. Until I find it, I will attempt to personally empty every bottle of Crown Royal in the 702 down me freakin gullet.

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Beeshes

5:12 pm February, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^No! Hank’s crooked-nosed bass-playing sassy kind-of- ugly nasal-sounding self-loathing hard-done-by daughter.

I gotta go the Po-Po pulled someone over down the lane and I’m gonna Hi-Def the fuckers.

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Convicts

5:25 pm February, 3 CB Popped said...

Holy shit Quattro – Pear, thanks for my new screen saver DB1.

5:39 pm February, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

ZZ Plotz

5:47 pm February, 3 Stephanie said...

She likes sex with animals,because he’s a goat that’s got a chinny chinny chin.

6:07 pm February, 3 Nostradouchus said...

Dart Pear was the best one i’ve seen in a while, particularly on the right….The chick with chinscrote here looks like Madame Tussaud’s cousin’s rendition of Michael Jackson.

6:59 pm February, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Dark Sock is Missing In Absinthe.

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Son

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And I’m done writing and in about 17 pints and 2 shots of NyQuil. Guttntageben mein heinesenfresiens.

7:30 pm February, 3 Vin Douchal said...

So,… The mother fucckers that decide these things have removed the Slots o Fun craps table . I mean, what bubble headed asshole corporate fuck thought it in anyone’s best interest to remove the funnest 60 square feet on the planet with slot machine attempts at a Nissan Sentra? Fuccen Vegas is losing to the MBA s .

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I’ve seen more airborne pubic hair tonight than a dorm room crabs clinic

8:09 pm February, 3 Scrotewank Jones and the furry furry Douchetrots said...

Another beautiful story woth reading about hot chicks:

possible NSFW:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/03/femen-protests-hockey-world-cup_n_1253271.html?ref=world#s662362

8:16 pm February, 3 Vin Douchal said...

I am fuuuuuuuuccked up . Typing on phone and pissing at the same time. What do I win?

8:58 pm February, 3 The Dude said...

Vin D wins the Friday shootout!! Congrats, now get back to the machines formerly known as slots.

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Champeen < – according to Nancy

5:00 am February, 4 hermit said...

Damn, I miss my slaves.

They came in so handy on trash day.

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Not allowing us to use the word s0©¡al¡§t is like a dying cancer patient hiding his cigarettes when the doctor walks in the room.

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.

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Hollow arguments

6:37 am February, 4 Doucheywallnuts said...

I can’t believe slave owners gave up so easily and dropped the whole thing simply because slavery became illegal. I guess they weren’t really that into it. I recall that prohibition didn’t stop people from drinking and selling booze (Kennedys) and the war on drugs and poverty have created more drugs and poverty. The is a pervasive and cooersive arm of the government that is devoted to taxation and collecting taxes, and yet ere are still plenty of folks not paying taxes and looking to exploit loopholes in the tax code. No such efforts by slavers. Interesting.

7:13 am February, 4 Douchble Helix said...

I haven’t even hit all the links yet, but the beat movie, Katie, Connie, the brain dead little girl… DB1’s best Friday Links EVAH!!

7:18 am February, 4 beltman713 said...

What do you call the civil war?

7:29 am February, 4 ehcuodouche said...

bolt ons do nothing for me. quad pear did.

9:10 am February, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

@The Dude, I dont remember ever coining that term but I guess I will take credit for it. And Vin next time youre in the can with your phone why dont you Favre me a pic then youll definitely win something.

9:59 am February, 4 Et Tu Douche? said...

Ahh, chicks who can really blow

11:33 am February, 4 tall guy said...

Yo, fellow ‘Bagsters: Jimmy Buffett? Thoughts? Cool or not cool. Have done the Wiki’n’shiz, but I want your skinny. Objective or otherwise.

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Outback Steak House.

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The Dingo ate my baby…

11:44 am February, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy, I say nottadouche for Buffett. I however am not a huge fan. Too twangy and kinda whiney for my tastes. Then again I don’t like country music and it kinda reminds me of that. So do you guys have Outback Steakhouses there? Have you ever been to one or do you consider it to be an insult to your peoples? I used to boycott the videogame Mafia Wars on account I’m half I-talian. And since I hardly hear about it anymore I’m thinking Mission accomplished.

11:55 am February, 4 tall guy said...

Dreuche, you’re a one woman shutdowner!

Not sure if we have OSHs here. There’s none in Sydney I know of. We have similar style places though, but theme restaurants don’t do much for me. Way back in the day I worked at a place called The Lone Star Tavern, which I’m sure was about as authentic as a wooden nickel. But I do like steak, would be pleased to meet you and have, obviously, meat to please you. (an oldie but a goodie).

Not a huge country music fan either. Gram Parsons is as close as I get, which I’m sure one of HCwDBs musical aficionados will tell me is not country music at all.

12:15 pm February, 4 The Dude said...

Speaking of Dutches, is Heineken beer douchey? Not the commercials, the beer itself. The commercials are great, but the beer tastes terrible IMHO.

12:24 pm February, 4 tall guy said...

One thing I remember about Heineken is that it did not give me a bloated feeling like local beer did. Our VB, Fosters, Swan, KB, Tooheys, Boags to name a few, are all so gaseous. Coopers from South Australian isn’t bad. But it’s well over 14 years since I’ve sucked any of the stuff down so my opinion probably isn’t worth much. Even though I put alcohol on a par with oxygen, my historical ‘style’ of drinking hardly makes me an expert.

12:25 pm February, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

Aw shucks tall guy, I just try to tell it like I feel it. Music, politics and religion, everyone’s entitled to their own opinion. Damn, I just made up a pretty cool credo just now. Anyway, game tip of the day for you, never play the game on a girl who plays the same game. Because she will play along in the beginning to lull you into a false sense of accomplishment, remember this particular type of girl actually likes sex so getting that from her right away is not really a coup, its definitely a win, but not a coup. Anyway, your invitation to eat meat sounds delicious however I think I’ve got a dish here in the States I would like to try again. That’s right Hawaii, I called it The States.

7:02 pm February, 4 Scrotewank Jones and the furry furry Douchetrots said...

Heineken in Europe is nearly perfect tasting. By the time it reaches the Colonies, the skunkiness kills it, but drinking it in Amsterdam is heaven.

9:26 pm February, 4 troy tempest said...

she is thinking – if men like my fake boobies, then they will like my personality too!

8:10 am February, 5 Medusa Oblongata said...

Those tatas in the photo remind me of those plastic-coated league softballs we buy for our three-headed hellhound, Peanut Oblongata. They’re hard as rocks, they bounce funny and the dog plays with them a lot differently than she does a regular, squishy tennis ball. I imagine a man feels the same way about those tits.

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I’ll weigh in on Mr. Palatella’s website, since you yard apes got distracted by ass. I’m going to assume Nick is the young Mr. Tall Guy, based on the surf shots and the lovely coastline. I don’t recognize the city shot, but the dude in the Kayak hints that this is not North America. Correct me if I’m wrong. Anyway, I’m quite impressed by young Mr. Palatella’s work, especially considering his age. He has a remarkable focus on small details, generally not a skill among boy puppies. Despite the sweeping scope of the images, there is a real feel of intimacy there, of closeness, of being right next to Nick and hearing his thoughts on what he sees. I’m normally not interested in landscape photography, but there is something about his focus on one specific target that brings me in, he’s looking at what I would be looking at were I there myself. Well done, young sir, and I’m going to share your work with my creepers over on Facebook.

8:10 am February, 5 Medusa Oblongata said...

^Oh, duh. If I had read “About” I would have seen that he’s in Cali. Derp. Me no like words!

9:29 am February, 7 katyusha rocket said...

Is that Jackson Galaxy? He gets the chicks because he’s a pussy expert….

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