Friday, February 10, 2012

Friday Thoughts and Links

Clown Joseph mugs the barely legals.

And somewhere, in the afterlife, 2-Pac and Biggie reflect on their contributions to hiphop culture and realize the whole thing was a marketing sham and a creative fraud.

But at least it’s Friday, she said, as Carolyn gives me the hallowed Mayan Eye of Coitus and my nethers twitch like caffeinated grasshoppers.

And I agreed.

Here’s your links:

Your HCwDB Book Pick of the Week is also the first OWSer: “I would prefer not to.”

In Orlando, a girl with no hands was barred from rides at Sea World. Her name? Katie Champagne. It’s a sign. Not a hand sign though.

Nice to see my fellow Jews representin’ on political issues. Now if I could only get Mila Kunis to spank me with a Torah.

No matter your political persuasion, democratic and republican ‘bag hunters alike should agree that John Boehner is a huge douchebag.

Reader lilfartknocker69 is shocked to discover ‘Bag Balm at his local Rite Aid. Sorry mass-marketing companies, but nothing soothes the rash of toxic pudlery.

Giorgio Loves Sonic. Giorgio gets a hearty nottadouche and goinpeace.

We all know that the Unholy Grieco is the Source Douche for the modern ‘bag plague. But let us not forget that WKRP’s Bailey Quarters set the template for the modern Boobie Hottie Suckle Thigh Librarian Hott. Not Semitic Hott, like my usual preference, but I’ll take it.

The Holy Football Tebus likes to suckle.

But enough about the Holy Tebus. Lets get to the pear:

God Arch Pear

For buried within its curves lies Archimedes formula for moving the world.

# posted by douchebag1
12:50 pm February, 10 Medusa Oblongata said...

God Arch Pear has made me decide to go back to church. Have a blessed weekend, all.

12:52 pm February, 10 jonezy said...

I bet all his friends call him Harry

1:00 pm February, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

God Arch Pear For Hall of Pear. I would prefer to.

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In the above photo, is her hair purple or is it the lens flair from the douchebag’s hat?

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Dickenses

1:00 pm February, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Giogio was ordering for Nancy D. You guys have some excellent food choices down there.

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Supersize

1:10 pm February, 10 Wheezer said...

God Arch Pear can take my rod “and” my staff from me if she so desires. I will spare my rod and spoil that lovely child.

1:17 pm February, 10 Wedgie said...

This is why I love my wife:

I’m reading that story above about the girl with no hands being barred from the ride at Pee World, and she walks by, looks over my shoulder, and says: “No hands, huh? Wonder how she wipes her ass?”

Gotta love those Del Mar girls.

1:27 pm February, 10 Eponymous Douche said...

Fresh no more. Pasta vendors unemployed.

1:35 pm February, 10 Et Tu Douche? said...

Mmmmmmm……God Arch Pear & Erin Drewes jugs.

2:05 pm February, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Acorn bling?? WTF?

MC Numbnuts

2:15 pm February, 10 CB Popped said...

Boehner is a boner. Not the good kind…

Arch Pear, and Quattro – Pear from a few weeks ago belong i the Hall of Pear hott – and Quattro should have come with a warning label because it just wasnt fair to show that to a soon to be 43 year old guy with marriage hangups.

The worst show on TV isnt Jersey Shore,,,isnt King of Queens it is undoubtedly – – –

Toddlers and Tiaras…..be very afraid. I caught the last 20 minutes (avoiding King of Queens) and was left speechless.

2:16 pm February, 10 army (ret) douche said...

this is a douche of the ‘green revolution’ as he appears to be solar powered

2:28 pm February, 10 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Taco Ballin’? Uh, if you see that face at you local Taco Bell, run screaming.

2:29 pm February, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Toddlers and Tiaras is terrible, but it depends how you view it. My little daughters think it’s hilarious and the Mrs. and I go out and get stoned before descending to the TV pit. King of Queens sucks cocks.

.

And the Norwalk virus has hit the household. Maybe I should mail Nancy some licked stamps so she can lose a few stone. note: a Stone is a British measure of weight, chaps.

2:30 pm February, 10 UFO Destroyers said...

Not shitting you Wedgie. Clicked to view the “Look Ma, no hands” video and what imbeded advertisement should pop up but one for toilet paper. Go figure.

2:32 pm February, 10 Vin Douchal said...

Ass Pear is none other than, Jaime Koeppe, featured many times in these parts. Y’know, I can’t remember my mother’s telephone number but for some reason I can remember all these chick’s names….

2:37 pm February, 10 UFO Destroyers said...

Toddlers and Tiaras is an abomination on all innocent five year olds, but for something that is abhorrent, do not watch either one of these, your eyes will rot out: Big Fat Gypsy Wedding or Dance Moms. I’ve kicked a lemur being held by a five year old after seeing Dance Moms.

2:39 pm February, 10 FlipFriddle said...

Ahh… Bailey, Bailey, Bailey…. yum.

2:39 pm February, 10 CB Popped said...

^Chad,,,well, I have to admit there was some decent MILF action on Toddlers and Tiaras. They are nuts, which somehow makes them hotter.

I did forget how hott Bailey from WKRP was, even next to Lonnie Anderson. (FWAP).

Yeah, above douche looks like Halloween etc.

2:51 pm February, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

It’s good to to have the ol’ Rev Chad back, I was beginning to think all that cooking for Super Bowl Sunday made ya soft. I’ll pass on anything you have to mail me my good man. If I want to throw up I’ll just picture you and Creature naked. Yes, you two do seem to pal around a lot. People have been talking. Sure, six of them are in my head but the other two are legitimate. Anyway, enough tomfoolery, I can barely make it a minute or two in to all the shows listed above. Dance Moms looks the worst. Doesn’t anyone ever think of the children anymore?

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Have a great weekend all. I’m gonna be watching myself on the big screen (small Indie project) and let’s hope that camera only added 10 stone this time. Am I right ladies?

2:57 pm February, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fuck I just found this in an email. Ultimate Douchebag sport. We might as well just open the last of the seals tonight and call it quits. DB1 should have found this by now. Are ya sleeping man? Canada has a team but stun guns arew banned here except for the feminine po-po.

.

3:03 pm February, 10 Vin Douchal said...

There’s a lot of overlooked Semitic Hotts such as Alyson Hanigan, Amanda Bynes, Amanda Peet, Ashley Tisdale, Brooke Burke, Caprice Bourret, Elizabeth Banks, Jamie Lynn Sigler , Gwyneth Paltrow, Emmy Rossum ( RRRrrr!) , Jennifer Connelly, etc….

And Yasmine Bleeth..

.

You can’t spin a dreidel in this town without knocking into a hot little jewess

4:23 pm February, 10 creature said...

hey ND the good rev & I will use ya as a fingercuff…more outta pity & sport than desire…but y’know the two of us have humpped alotta desperate ho’s

5:07 pm February, 10 Vin Douchal said...

Giorgio is awesome. He’s welcome at my songwriters group anyday. Free coffee and tea, brah

5:27 pm February, 10 Nostradouchus said...

The one on the right is the only one with a peen.

5:46 pm February, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

@ creature, sooo glad you’re back. Why did you pussy out again? You were busy diddling your vajayay? Remember when you cried when I got in the Hall of Mock. I sure do. I’m still there bitch. Cheers.

6:55 pm February, 10 Wedgie said...

Vin: Jamie is the shizzle. Don’t worry about your Mom’s phone number, hell I can’t remember my kid’s names half the time, but go ahead and ask me about Vincent Jackson’s average yards per catch last season, or Philip River’s QB rating.

It’s called being a man, dude. Wear it with pride.

Now, when’s my wife’s birthday, again?

7:58 pm February, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Vin’s List ^ (not to be confused with Schindler’s List) made me realize that I have Yenta Fever. And by that I mean I’d love to have Amanda Peet and Amanda Bynes anoint me with a little Blowski on the Schmeckle.

8:50 pm February, 10 creature said...

Giorgio has inspired me to do that with a ukulele

….& Nancy, you’re still not funny, honey, but I’m sure your drawers smell like limburger cheese…which is pretty funny…so keep on tryin’, I’m sure you’ll get it one day

9:03 pm February, 10 creature said...

…btw, I hope Tebow prays to those cans, for they are godly

12:42 am February, 11 Douchble Helix said...

$34.92 at Sonic, and not a single item of real food. Ah, The Good Life In America!!

4:10 am February, 11 CB Popped said...

Dreuche in an indie film is waycool….Im gonna check out the Dancing Mom and Gypsy Wedding material now.

4:19 am February, 11 CB Popped said...

Well, I cant bring myself to watch Abby Lee Miller,,,,fuck that.

Her face alone says it all.

7:48 am February, 11 The Dude said...

Do the girls in this pic have vajaynays under their arms?

.

.

Birth Control

8:31 am February, 11 tall guy said...

@ CB Popped, perhaps it’s way cool, but it really depends on whether her coquettishly bared ankles also make an appearance.

9:27 am February, 11 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy, fraid not tall guy, but to capture the black hearts and simple minds of our audience there is some implied nudity. Skin to win! We’re trying to at least get 11th place this year. Perhaps an ankle shot would have rocketed us up to 10th but there’s always next year to try that.

10:00 am February, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Dudes, I am going out on a limb here but the new Van Halen cd, “A Different Kind Of Truth”, is quite possibly the best album they’ve ever done.

.

Perhaps a review is in order but for now let me say, .

Eddie continues to amaze with his ability to find new ways to showcase his unique skills. Many a time I caught myself fist pumping before realizing it

.

Wolfgang is an absolute monster on bass and the songwriting on these tracks makes me think Michael Anthony could not have kept up nor played in the same room with these guys

.

Alex is so fast and synchopated on these songs the cd runs the risk of losing his perfromances. His kit is spread kind of tight so a lot of his fills are swallowed up. Vin, The Producer, might have EQ’d differently and spread his toms out. Meh, it’s all good

.

David Lee Roth has hit his peak. He can’t possibly turn out better lyrics and vocals than these tracks show

.

.

I’m gushing a little, but after 10 listens on the headphones , the way God intended, I cannot find a flaw in these songs.

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BTW, get it at Target for a fun bonus DVD. Fuccen Dave is awesome

10:10 am February, 11 Et Tu Douche? said...

Got my party on Rev Chad stylie last night still drunk and still thinking about Erin Drewes jugs. KDTU is gonna rock the house tonight.

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Sticky Fingers

10:18 am February, 11 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Michael Anthony was always the weak link. He is/was the Fredo of Van Halen.

10:40 am February, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Van Halen. not Van Hagar:

.

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Tattoos

11:32 pm February, 11 Baron Von Goolo said...

Yeah yeah yeah TDM TDM TDM enough already.

Why isn’t our favorite PTP bucket of choad-chum, Bree, in the HOH? There’s your travesty, right there.

1:03 am February, 12 Baron Von Goolo said...

^ Oops – wrong thread.

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