Thursday, February 2, 2012

HCwDB of the Month: Grover McPocalypse and Sarah Lawrence Sarah

A date late to tallying the award because the DB1 is hard at work on new show-stuff, but the regs brought A-Game Mock. And The Grovester and SLS barely took the prize.

And lets not forget Grover McP choke-throttling Heather.

The voters speak:

Douchble Helix: My vote is for Grover, who I think has it figured out, and I’m guessing the Rev is voting for Sarah Lawrence Sarah.

DoucheyWallnuts: Grover McPocalypse FTW. Any time a new species is discovered it is noteworthy – like the Pollinating Cricket or Monitor Lizard – and some may say award worthy. Grover McP certainly represents a new species of douchebag. Greater minds than mine can come up with the appropriate moniker, so until then I will call him Douchebag of the Month.

Dude McCrudeshoes: Appearing without a Hott is no obstacle for McPocolypse, who breaks all the rules, including those of nature. McPocolypse FTW.

Mr. Biggs: ’d have to go with Grover, for taking douchery to the next level, and in an innovative direction at that. Such an undiluted display of herpsterbaggery, encouraged and catalyzed by Sarah McPooch, shows us this toxic new form douchebaggery is taking as it poisons our culture in search of poon. It’s toxic couplings like these that are the reason people hate drum circles and Burning Man.

The Reverend Chad Kroeger: I vote for Grover McPpocolypse and Mons Pubis and I am a hopeless romantic.

icame isaw idouched: Grover FTW. He’s got that look on his fact because a Yak just took a shit on his shoulder.

It was a pretty solid win for herpsterdouche, even with Sarah’s ‘Baguette tendencies. But what do I know. I thought Andy Swirlwind and Freida Garcia were gonna win, and they didn’t come close. Tony the Curdle and Butt Pooch Amanda’s classic HCwDB-ery came in a distant second:

Joey Joe Joe Jr. Shabbadouche: Freida Garcia is sublime, but I have to go with Tony the Curdle and Adriana, because she looks a little like my wife. Yay me!

The others got votes, but I’mma need a coffee to keep HTMLing. So lets let the talking puppet that is Troy Tempest take us home:

Grover McPocalypse and Sarah Lawrence Sarah. Why? Which of the three are you least likely to hire to do anything. The other 3 can pass (barely). Gorver’s still a f#ckin idiot. And Sarah’s skanktastic. She makes my cat sh#t on the bed.

Indeed she does, Troy. But it could also be because you’re feeding Fluffles too much bologna.

# posted by douchebag1
7:42 am February, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@January 13 Baron, Dr.B, Medusa

.

I saw that Chelsea Lately show for 5 minutes last night and she is one fugly, unfunny, lesbeast and I don’t get how she has a show on the tube either. I would rather the pock-marked anti-anglo Mexican Lopez back on TV with his bad diabetic self and his one bad joke.

.

Baggage Handlers

8:06 am February, 2 Edith Anne Tarbox of Dripping Springs Tx said...

a worthy winner, and clearly the abs are the product of an obsession with autofelltatio, the purist douche action known to humaninity.

never in the course of human events have so few tried so much more often than so many to smoke their own.

winstons.

8:07 am February, 2 Medusa Oblongata said...

Oh! Good morning, Reverend. I was left in limbo about the Chelsea thread, and took it to the streets. Yeah, the general sentiment from my investigation is that she needs a three-finger taint punch and then some.

.

Speaking of cat shit, Grover’s hair does indeed look like cat turds.

8:29 am February, 2 C.G. said...

what?!?! winner?

this is just an axed Sandals Resort promo shot of a surf-hippie and one of his sight-seeing mules-for-hire.

8:58 am February, 2 Nancy Dreuche said...

Good to see the Mons Pubis getting a shout out as well. You earned the win Grover. Agree with Medusa on your hair looking like cat turds. Now go hit the Octobong, you’ve got celebrating to do.

9:25 am February, 2 Douchble Helix said...

“The others got votes, but I’mma need a coffee to keep HTMLing. So lets let the talking puppet that is Troy Tempest take us home:”

.

MARIONETTE!!! Jesus Christ, don’t you people know the difference???!!!??

9:43 am February, 2 Nancy Dreuche said...

@DH, why don’t you enlighten us on the differences. I’ve got time.

10:05 am February, 2 Vin Douchal said...

Annoying Smelly Self-Important Shitbums with Skanky Impetigo RIdden Chicks.com

6:33 pm February, 2 troy tempest said...

For me this was as much a vote for Sarah Skankowitz as it was for Grover. She REALLY pisses me off. And Grover – I wouldn’t hire him to shine my shoes much less do anything of value. Besides, I think that surpasses his job description. He can’t do anything of value. He’s a fucking idiot.

.

And yes, technically I am a marionette, but puppet is close enough – marionettes are a form of (jointed and string controlled) puppet.

.

And cuz I’m an old prog rocker, a song about Puppets by Curved Air (it’s not on youtube so dig the lyrics)

Puppets are painting their toes

Making the most out of tea and toast

Puppets are simple to find

Strung up your love for a kite you’ll wind.

** See the marionettes makin’ puppet plans.

See he’s pulling the strings see the puppet dance.

Plastic and papers and paints

Puppets are pretty they dress so quaint.

Puppets who care carry on

dancing the dance

That they danced too long.

(** Repeat )

Puppets with pride in their eyes,

practice the dance

Till it’s time to start

Puppets it’s time to begin,

daylight is coming the lights grow dim…

(* * Repeat)

3:41 am February, 4 CB Popped said...

Troy’s right,,,,,Grover isn’t fit to shine shoes.

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