Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Hot Chick with Sarah Jessica Parker

Yeah, it’s Wednesday and I got nuthin’.

Time for your humble narrator to head to the kitchen, pile up a Turkey and Swiss, and down it with a Mr. Pibb and a tasty side dish of still-in-production Hostess Cherry Pie.

And a gander at a pear chomp suckle boobie hottie suckle thigh don’t hurt neither.

Beat that last sentence, Homi Bhabha.

# posted by douchebag1
4:06 pm February, 29 Wheezer said...

Thanks for posting my submission, Boss!

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‘Sock’s gonna be sooooo torn by this one.

4:07 pm February, 29 Bones Molloy said...

Genius

4:21 pm February, 29 Et Tu Douche? said...

The hott is giving the all to rare equine eye of I enjoy bronco busting and the horse seems flustered either that or he just spotted some guy in mickey mouse ears heading down the beach in his direction with a shit eating grin.

4:30 pm February, 29 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Like the Old Choad, she’s hung like a horse…

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Wait what?

4:51 pm February, 29 Vin Douchal said...

WTF is Homie talking about? I felt dirty just reading it

4:54 pm February, 29 Bigphatnotadouche said...

For months we debated Hall of Hott with some middling Hotts up for vote.

I nominate the blonde suckle side boob thigh bikini pear for Hall of Hotts.

Stallions

5:03 pm February, 29 Vin Douchal said...

A hot chick hired to jack off a horse

And here’s where I will get coarse

Aiming at the jar

He jizz’md too far

Up into her butt with much force

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Hey it’s Wednesday here, too

5:13 pm February, 29 The Dude said...

That’s fuck’n hilarious!!

5:35 pm February, 29 Vin Douchal said...

This could be fake, but either way it’s funny:

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kim-kardashians-fat-ass-gets-stuck-in-a-swing

5:52 pm February, 29 Jeet Kune Douche said...

The very fact that such a blonde Venus exists proves conclusively that there is a God.

There is NOTHING that I would not do to that horse – or let that horse do to me – just for the privilege of being able to talk to that Blonde Venus on the phone for up to 3 seconds.

5:58 pm February, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Agreed about SJP. I’d like to drive that chattle train off the same cliff as Coldplay and it’s boyfriend Gwyneth, I says. Fucking Matthew Broderick is way past rot rack at the store. Fuck off Matthew you were never funny unless tortured by Jim Carrey, an embarrassment to all Canadians. Do Jews control everything besides the fucking White House too? Now I loves me my Jews but your railroad car is going off the Obama peace train rails like Geitner on a fucking Crazy Train to Bernankeville. Keynesians. Monetarists I says. Son.

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Funny thing about an Irish wake for a 93 year old warrior, his fucking friends are all fucking dead and a whole bunch of people show up anyway listening to Glenn Miller (respect). He grew up just down the highway from me. I think my great-grandma blew him for rations. If he knew what pieces of shit would run the world after he was dead he would have had a peaceful life on the farm without a hip full of Nazi schrapnel saving your Yankee asses from the mighty Genghis Khan and the earth shattering smell of the Dreuchenator?

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Depressionists! fuck you Bernanke, Geitner, Summers, Paulson and the rest of you fucking Rothschild crooks. I wanted to retire you pieces of shit. You Harvard douchebags fucking each others Bilderberg asses are running out of time cause I’m coming after you you fuckers. Knives, teeth, and a tube a liverwurst is all the collective need to bring you asshole to your cowardly knees.

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Gumps

5:59 pm February, 29 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Bigphatnotadouche, atta boy! And the fact that you’re not intimidated by the horse’s schwantzun tells me you’re packing some mighty fine heat yourself.

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That horse looks sad, DarkSock must have just broke up with it via text.

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Night mares on P Street

6:01 pm February, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

And the hot chick is hot. And I’m fucking drunkkk.

6:10 pm February, 29 The Dude said...

I predict ‘Sock sees no problem here. Bang the blonde, pee in the horse afterwards. If you pee first, it takes forever to ejaculate.

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This message was brought to you by TMI, Inc.

6:18 pm February, 29 Wedgie said...

Nice looking fillies.

6:20 pm February, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That bad writing contestical would be one by won

rev. Chgad Thelonius any week of the day, the contiguous flatterry and the husbandry of Malfeasants are complimentary til the dis-ordained fluffery of the scullery deacon, to wit: a confluence of the obligatory pounced upon these lest ablilified for it’s obsequience seemingly is purpundified by bomblast of hyperbolism.

8:16 pm February, 29 Wedgie said...

^Makes perfect sense to me. Must be time for rehab.

8:41 pm February, 29 troy tempest said...

Why go searching for obscure prose when you can make your own?

http://www.elsewhere.org/pomo/

The Expression of Paradigm: Conceptual theory and Batailleist `powerful communication’

Jean W. M. Scuglia

Department of Literature, University of Massachusetts, Amherst

1. Narratives of absurdity

If one examines conceptual theory, one is faced with a choice: either reject neocapitalist desublimation or conclude that the collective is fundamentally used in the service of archaic, sexist perceptions of society. Conceptual theory holds that the task of the writer is social comment, but only if the premise of Batailleist `powerful communication’ is valid. But Sartre uses the term ‘dialectic discourse’ to denote a mythopoetical whole.

“Sexual identity is part of the genre of sexuality,” says Marx; however, according to Dahmus[1] , it is not so much sexual identity that is part of the genre of sexuality, but rather the economy, and some would say the rubicon, of sexual identity. Bataille promotes the use of conceptual theory to challenge hierarchy. It could be said that the subject is contextualised into a Batailleist `powerful communication’ that includes language as a reality.

Any number of narratives concerning not theory, as Debord would have it, but subtheory exist. Therefore, Lyotard suggests the use of conceptual theory to analyse art.

Sartre’s essay on neocapitalist desublimation suggests that reality is capable of significance. However, the collapse, and subsequent dialectic, of neomaterialist cultural theory prevalent in Rushdie’s Satanic Verses is also evident in Midnight’s Children, although in a more self-fulfilling sense.

The primary theme of the works of Rushdie is a subcapitalist whole. Therefore, a number of discourses concerning Batailleist `powerful communication’ may be found.

2. Conceptual theory and cultural narrative

“Sexual identity is dead,” says Lyotard. Bataille uses the term ‘the posttextual paradigm of discourse’ to denote the role of the reader as poet. It could be said that in The Ground Beneath Her Feet, Rushdie deconstructs cultural narrative; in Satanic Verses, although, he affirms deconstructivist pretextual theory.

Cultural narrative states that the goal of the reader is deconstruction, given that truth is interchangeable with reality. Thus, the subject is interpolated into a patriarchialist discourse that includes culture as a reality.

The main theme of de Selby’s[2] analysis of Batailleist `powerful communication’ is the absurdity, and some would say the futility, of precultural narrativity. Therefore, the subject is contextualised into a cultural narrative that includes reality as a paradox.

The opening/closing distinction depicted in Rushdie’s Midnight’s Children emerges again in The Moor’s Last Sigh. Thus, the primary theme of the works of Rushdie is a self-sufficient totality.

1. Dahmus, Z. ed. (1989) Batailleist `powerful communication’ in the works of Rushdie. University of North Carolina Press

2. de Selby, I. Y. A. (1976) Subdialectic Dematerialisms: Batailleist `powerful communication’ and conceptual theory. Schlangekraft

10:08 pm February, 29 The Dude said...

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing Sarah Jessica Parker.

1:22 am March, 1 Lady Godiva's Piebald said...

does this mean matthew broderick is darksock?

1:40 am March, 1 Nostradouchus said...

Lesbo Mexican donkey show!

3:53 am March, 1 tall guy said...

This has been a good thread, but I have a question that changes the subject: Cuban heels? Douche ? The standard guitarist exception notwithstanding.

4:57 am March, 1 Doucheywallnuts said...

Castro is a huge douchebag, whether or not he plays the guitar.

5:37 am March, 1 Sir Huddleston Fuddleston said...

Isn’t this the same chick that posed with “Kohlman”?

8:02 am March, 1 Lev said...

Homi did beat that. And by “that” I mean “the English language with a sledgehammer”.

10:34 am March, 1 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Troy

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No fair taking examples from academia. Everyone knows we’re all self-important dicckheads who love nothing better than to swing our dicks wildly in every direction in the hopes that someone else will stop masturbating long enough about the importance of their own research to listen and then critique it with a poorly thought out premise that they will try to publish as a piece of “scholarly” work that will serve as nothing more than another “feather in the headdress” for their curriculum vitae which only serves to swell their tiny member up further (at least in their mind). I believe it goes by the moniker “publish or perish” if I’m not mistaken?

12:49 pm March, 1 CB Popped said...

Sarah Jessica Parker, L O L !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1:27 pm March, 1 DarkSock said...

I’d pee in both their butts.

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Wait…there’s a bad writing contest? Why are we not in it?

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pee pee ponies.

1:21 pm March, 2 Wedgie said...

Gyroscope

1:21 pm March, 2 Wedgie said...

Monkey

1:22 pm March, 2 Wedgie said...

Hole

11:01 pm March, 4 Little Willie said...

I’d tap blondie’s ass in a heartbeat. Now if she’d only turn to her left and bend over and “smile” for the camera…

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