Tuesday, February 7, 2012

I'll Take "Awkward Hair Kiss" for $400, Alex

Doe-Eyed Jenny’s youthful exuberance ticks the collective uvula, while Tattbro Jim plays in the D-League.

And by D-League I mean DOUCHE league! Heh, you didn’t see that one coming.

I need a coffee.

# posted by douchebag1
9:54 am February, 7 Wedgie said...

She looks happy to be kissed by a D-Bag. Which says a lot about just how low the bar is set for the current generation of young people in this world.

That bar is so low, Wee Mon can’t even get under it, limbo-style.

10:01 am February, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Armpit?

10:01 am February, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Scumpit?

10:02 am February, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Limpit?

10:11 am February, 7 army (ret) douche said...

my money is on armpit. i think it’s an old spice throwback form the ol’ 3 on 3 deodorant league

10:14 am February, 7 Magnum Douche P. I. said...

A guy walks into a tattoo shop and says “yeah, I’ll have one of everything”

10:19 am February, 7 Douchble Helix said...

“Shinsplint”?

10:19 am February, 7 Douchble Helix said...

“Nitwit”?

10:43 am February, 7 tall guy said...

Walking along the beach yesterday after work I once again noticed the number of tatt bags coming in or heading out for a surf. The bar is indeed low and is gets lower and lower quicker and faster. The tatt industry must be one of the few true growth industries at present. Fuck the bag. Fuck the douche.

10:48 am February, 7 melvil_duchi said...

don’tspit

10:55 am February, 7 Douche Springsteen said...

Nothing drives home the fact that this dude with his arms full of tattoos is a total bad-ass who can’t even smile while his lips are touching the fair skin of a lithe young girl quite like a fruity bright red drink with a straw in it.

@Wedgie – I don’t think she’s quite as happy as you’d think she is. Her mouth may be smiling but her eyes have glazed over in a thousand yard stare. This is the personification of the phrase “grin & bear it”.

11:00 am February, 7 Wedgie said...

^or she’s bombed from too many little red coccktails

11:01 am February, 7 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Suburban eye of community college. Soggy toast dipped in warm milk has more spice. Kill me please.

11:06 am February, 7 The Dude said...

Green-striped rack in the previous pic even makes up for what I’m looking at here.

11:25 am February, 7 Charles Douchewin said...

Apropos of nothing – I peed in a pool once.

.

I think I’m having trouble getting my meme on here.

11:31 am February, 7 tall guy said...

It just seems that every nice-ish girl whether local or from Bumfucksville has an overwhelming desire to be photographed for posterity w/- some tatted-up D-Bag. Not covering new ground here nor has it just come to my attention, however w/- all that it’s still no less annoying. Bags. Irritating.

12:04 pm February, 7 Nancy Dreuche said...

Thats like the kiss your crazy old aunt with the wig and the caked on makeup gives you. You know the one with the 6 cats and the Burt Bacharach collection?

12:07 pm February, 7 Wheezer said...

It’s “Stinkpit,” the new douchewear company dealing with literalism.

12:09 pm February, 7 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

His tattoo appears to feature Harry Anderson from “Night Court” peeking over the left shoulder of Dr. Manhattan.

12:13 pm February, 7 The Dude said...

There seems to be a pervasive trend of literalism as to the douchebag. We must suffer through this pervatory, literally.

12:13 pm February, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Wedgie

.

I haven’t had so much fun looking at $50 US dollars since I beat Chuck Woolery at golf at Disney World around this time of year a decade ago.

.

True story, but I’m not at liberty to say how I knew Chuck Woolery in the interest of continental security.

.

Game Show Hosts

1:20 pm February, 7 tall guy said...

Dreuche, I like cats and Burt Bacharach, although to my credit I do not like the old grandma floral scented talcum powder smell.

.

Cats are good.

1:22 pm February, 7 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I’m beginning to he may not be an actual athlete.

1:24 pm February, 7 tall guy said...

Also, what’s the woozy drink they’re necking? I get that she’d for a Cosmo or some pseudo sophisticated lamearse drink. But don’t get why ‘Bags always chose to drink ’em and drink ’em through a bloody straw.

.

Gayarse.

1:43 pm February, 7 Wedgie said...

@The Right Reverand Chadwick P. Kroeger

Don’t count your chickens yet; I closed that account 5 years ago.

I just read an article on Fox.com titled “Eli Manning Is Getting A Sex Change And Moving To Quebec”. Just thought you should know.

1:46 pm February, 7 Wedgie said...

PS: Pawngo just dumped 8000 Butterfingers bars (that’s 900 lbs worth) in Boston’s Copley Square in front of a sign that reads “Thank You Wes Welker”.

Nice gesture, really. That town has class.

1:48 pm February, 7 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Hairlineolingus

3:50 pm February, 7 Nostradouchus said...

skinpit?

4:21 pm February, 7 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy, I don’t really have an aunt in your price range like that. The closest thing I have us a step British aunt, but she’s like 80. Seriously guy, its not that bad right?

7:07 pm February, 7 Stephanie said...

The next thing is,douches not having enough skin for tatts,so they insert things under their skin to stretch their skin and then gain more space for said crappy tatts. Brought to you by Axe Body Spray and Ed Hardly.

4:25 am February, 9 CB Popped said...

You said it Wedge, Bahstahn’s a classy city.

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