Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

7:36 am February, 8 Et Tu Douche? said...

Akward Angie wishes she was back in 2007 or anywhere else for that mater.

7:41 am February, 8 Doucheywallnuts said...

I can think of no better word to describe the hat tilt than “tragic.”

7:44 am February, 8 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Moments later Jeff learned why you don’t sneak up on Maggie Q. His hat, which was left spinning in place, survived the roundhouse kick. Jeff did not.

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http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/12/18/maggie-q-jump-kick.jpg

7:48 am February, 8 Medusa Oblongata said...

Elbow to the sternum, Ange. Works every time.

7:54 am February, 8 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Is he planning on stretching out that hole in his hat brim? I’m assuming that’s why there’s that hole in it. And then once he does, he can fulfill his dreams of watching his bros have meat pole jousting competitions through it to win his hand up close and personal. It’ll be like he has a front row seat where he can reward the winner with a nice slurpee followed with a small wreath made of delicately woven parsley.

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Angie on the other hand has to learn the word “NO”. As in NO I don’t want to take a picture with you. NO, I don’t think you’re cool. NO, I do have standards and you’ll never be able to meet them. NO, it will never get any bigger than that.

7:59 am February, 8 jonezy said...

I’ve lost a few limbs in my quest for young boobies too

8:06 am February, 8 jonezy said...

^@DW – as a general ‘Coffee Talk” discussion, does anyone else think the word tragic gets tossed around far too often in today’s media?

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Like the race car driver that dies during a crash- that isn’t really tragic. He chose to do that shit in the first place- he knew the danger. What’s so fucking tragic? Unfortunate at best. Or like the dude/chick that gets paralyzed while skiing. Not really tragic. Shit, even mass flooding doesn’t seem tragic to me, just regular, run of the mill mass destruction.

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Now, Darksock’s annual crawfish and titties regalia ending in an gilligan’s island type shipwreck. Now THAT is tragic.

8:22 am February, 8 Et Tu Douche? said...

Mmmmm…….”Darksock’s annual crawfish and titties regalia”

8:27 am February, 8 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Angie is wearing the latest in Swiss Army necklace technology. You never know when you might need a bottle opener, foreskin cutter, ticket punch, IUD, or nipple clamp.

8:28 am February, 8 DarkSock said...

Jonezy, don’t confuse “tragic” with “epic”.

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Son.

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Hyperbolistas.

8:33 am February, 8 DarkSock said...

And FYI, thanks to the oppressive and small-minded regime at the Mississippi Department of Wildlife, Fisheries and Parks, I am prohibited from operating any water-craft powered by gas or electric motors for a period of 5 years.
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But I can still row fast enough to get to terminal velocity.
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Oppressors.

8:58 am February, 8 Douchble Helix said...

She’s cute. Maybe planning to give it up tonight.

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And that jagoff’s gonna get it. There’s your tragedy.

9:00 am February, 8 Douchble Helix said...

I’m gonna get a tattoo of Darksock’s pic (above) on my chest and neck in tribute to a fallen friend.

10:16 am February, 8 Douche Springsteen said...

Maybe once he starts shaving he will realize, “Hey, I should just keep my hat on straight so I don’t look like a suburban wanksta trying to appropriate black urban culture even though I would get my ass promptly handed to me if I tried to pull this off in any inner city”.

Angie, I’m in apt. 206. I’ve prepared the rosemary infused alpaca butter to anoint your shoulders while three Sri Lankan eunuchs will play ballads from their homeland upon their lutes and you can do that thing where you make your phone ring even though no one called you and make up an excuse about you have to go pick up your bestie because she had one lemon drop too many and can’t drive.

10:39 am February, 8 Doucheywallnuts said...

The word tragic has been co-opted so I think it’s time to redefine tragic on our terms; hat tilt, tragic; this guy with that girl, tragic; smooth jazz, tragic; what I just left in the toilet, tragic.

10:45 am February, 8 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Everything about Angie – her posture, position of her head and shoulders, facial expression, eyes – clearly communicates that if Hat Tilt doesn’t take his hand off her in the next 2 seconds, she’ll stab him in the nards with a kitchen knife.

Angie’s staring at me thru that photo, isn’t she? Yeah…….

11:03 am February, 8 The Right Honorable Member for, The Very Reverend Mother Her Duchal Serene Highness, Dr, Hortense Sussudio Fuckerfaster said said...

its like she is looking through the camera straight into her parents souls and telling them that if they don’t co-sign for her audi tt their grandbabies are going to have to contend with this genetic handicap.

11:37 am February, 8 Stephanie said...

Jeffy thinks he’s cute with the hat,he hasn’t got much else going on.

4:16 pm February, 8 Nancy Dreuche said...

Let the record show this is not my alter ego Jeff. Usually when I am Jeff I go out in blackface. I try to put together the ultimate outfit to have the shit kicked outta me the quickest.

5:51 pm February, 8 troy tempest said...

She never learned her 7 times table.

7:58 pm February, 8 Guid is Good said...

Slice of lemon for the glass = a better class of truckstop. Nice work Jeff.

4:40 am February, 9 Nostradouchus said...

Angie’s directions to the plastic surgeon: Make me look as much like Lauren Conrad as humanly possible.