Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Not Peaches

There is only one Peaches.

But since your humble narrator is amped up on caffeine and tasty processed flavored sugar snack cakes, lets all celebrate some random pear:

Industrial Farming Pear

Because I’m generous like that.

# posted by douchebag1
9:56 am February, 14 Wedgie said...

Suellyn is a farmer?

9:57 am February, 14 Wedgie said...

BTW, this pic is FCwDB

9:57 am February, 14 Hurl Scheibe said...

To me, a succulent piece of pear looks like a heart upside down. The perfect gift for this Valentine’s Day. Thank you, DB1!!

10:19 am February, 14 Hurl Scheibe said...

Boobies. Wow.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2012_swimsuit/models/kate-upton/12_kate-upton_1.html

10:28 am February, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Weird body. All I gave my wife for Valentine;s Day was the shits.

10:32 am February, 14 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

I got a strong urge to slap some tamaters on some buns and start eating.

10:35 am February, 14 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Her body looks like it was put together by a disjointed committee of quarreling 1980s Romanian communists, none of whom could see very well. The scene behind her and the ‘bag looks like a cross between the control room in a nuclear power plant and the pantry at some down-market Vegas douchebag pool party. All in all a disturbing photograph…perhaps it should be kept on ice for the Guggenheim exhibit in 2023?

10:41 am February, 14 Medusa Oblongata said...

Run a brush through your hair, honey. The “I slept in the gutter last night” look is SOOOOOO 1997.

10:43 am February, 14 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Rev, at least its the gift that keeps on giving. And thanks DB1, I usually don’t celebrate this Jewish holiday.but its the thought that counts.

10:48 am February, 14 Capt. James T. Douche said...

He just bangs hookers and points.

10:52 am February, 14 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

The hooded unibomber in the background is not pleased with the crowd of bags and heavy chicks. He prepares his latest device, the exploding D.J. mixer.

11:57 am February, 14 Jacques Doucheteau said...

I get the impression this is the first time Industrial Farming Pear has laid her hands on a rusted out heap of pre-1970 Americana.

.

Well, other then her dad.

12:08 pm February, 14 Jacques Doucheteau said...

And Mattie “tease your hair ’till it starts to fall out” has some hips for….

I was going to say “birthing”, but I’m guessing her diseased uterus couldn’t grow anything beyond mold cultures and forms of life only identifiable through Gram staining (that’s a bacterium joke for all you Org Chem nerds out there).

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Not Peaches pointing, on the other hand, is a tool. Why? Simple math. White LA hat + Ed Hardy knock-off sunglasses = tool.

12:27 pm February, 14 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Shoulder-tatted Mattie would be easier to tap than a Bud Lite keg at a Tri-Delt party…

.

.

…but them thar hips say: birthin’ babies in in her future….and it’s nice to know she has a friend at hand to help her locate the probable father(s) of her offspring.

.

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.Chromosomes

12:27 pm February, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I would call him the Cumquaint instead of Not Peaches. Look up the etymology (I always wanted to use that word in a sentence) of the word quaint to find out why.

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@ Jacques

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While Organic chemists are the oompa loompas of the chemistry world, I’ve never seen one do a Gram stain. Biologists I have and no one really considers them scientists anyways. And even worse are engineers.

12:30 pm February, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I think that retarded show “Ice Road Truckers” did some show where they drove through her hips if I’m not mistaken.

12:42 pm February, 14 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Choad the Douche Sprocket^

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The Three=year-0ld at Brittel’s house, left in charge of the 14-month-old, would agree that she hard earned, ample birthing hips.

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She does not, however, have any WIC credits left for supplemental food and so its paint chips and sour milk lumps until mommy brings home the sack full of bar snax and dry sandwich ends.

1:24 pm February, 14 Los Douches said...

Thick with no ass. That’s some sad-ass white girl genetics, right there.

2:06 pm February, 14 Southern Scrotic said...

That actually looks like Peaches. The ring looks familiar.

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That and the incredibly stupid look on his face.

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Can we get a ruling from Wedgie?

2:27 pm February, 14 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Great, now I got the urge to plow the south 40 pear…

3:25 pm February, 14 Douche Springsteen said...

Douche the pain away.

5:30 pm February, 14 army (ret) douche said...

High res pear… yep…

5:55 pm February, 14 Wheezer said...

I’m starting to wonder if Suelyn Medeiros should have her own little corner of the site a la Ass Pear LaPlante.

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Yeah, she’s a pro, but she’s a pro…..

6:11 pm February, 14 Nostradouchus said...

Boo on the lower half of both these returds, and boo on the airbrush pear.

6:13 pm February, 14 DoucheyWallnuts said...

When trawling for pictures for scantily clad chicks, I prefer female abdomens to be of the pre-menopausal variety.

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Bloatsters

8:10 pm February, 14 Stephanie said...

Well,the Westminster Dog Show has some new breeds this year.

1:36 am February, 15 Jacques Doucheteau said...

OG chem, biology, whatever. Hey, you know what I do know the answer to? What has two thumbs and never went to college? This guy!

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I know, obvious.

1:42 am February, 15 Jacques Doucheteau said...

There are three types of people in this world.

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There are optimists, who see the glass as half full; pessimists who view it as half empty; while engineers see a glass that is twice the size it should be and needs to be redesigned.

6:17 am February, 15 CB Popped said...

Best thing in this pic is the back of the unknown female in blue.

6:05 pm September, 6 Dan said...

This is not Peaches. I know him. Doesn’t have that tatt on his wrist.

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