Thursday, February 23, 2012

Old Man Phineus Cackles Like a Hyena

Lots of wrong going on in this picture.

Daddy issues do not go well with breakfast.

# posted by douchebag1
7:32 am February, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Osama O’Brien here is dressed very inappropriately for a strip bar post 9/11. This girl has had exactly one baby, three appletinis, and a roofy. And by roofy I mean I’d hit it in the ass.

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Arafats

7:41 am February, 23 Et Tu Douche? said...

The only reason stripper bleeth is posing with Old Man Phineus is he’s got a ton of ching and this is just her first step to ultimately get her hands on as much of it as possible.

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The do-rag is a nice touch though.

7:51 am February, 23 tall guy said...

She’s full-on bleeth. Nice face’n’legs though. Agree w/- Kroeger, she’s popped a kid. In fewer than ten years time she’ll turn hideous.

7:55 am February, 23 Nancy Dreuche said...

This old guy probably asked his kids what was hip and happening from 2002-now and he bought everything on their list and is wearing it now. Aviators, do-rag, tablecloth scarf, pooka shell necklace, fedora, and $1000 = photop with paid to pose dancer at strip club. You know Pops you coulda saved some money and just shelled out $1000 and maintained a modicum of your dignity. I’m glad my Dad just asks me for music recommendations, where I always lead off with, Anything but RUSH.

7:58 am February, 23 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy, it be cool if you could come up with a hottie to hambeast timeline that illustrates when the starch bomb typically hits as well as when the matronly/bingo arms go into effect. I think it will help the younger baghunters never bang another woman ever out of sheer fear.

8:01 am February, 23 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Reverend Run bin Arafat bin Kid Rock bin Old Bagghafi celebrates his acquittal on wire fraud charges at Porky’s in Hialeah.

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nutt-busters

8:11 am February, 23 Professor McDouche said...

I can’t be certain, but I think that Phineus has mixed Malibu run with a bit of baby batter in some insane plot to hold onto his youth. There is no way that can work, right?

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Hold on, I almost spilled my rum.

8:15 am February, 23 Capt. James T. Douche said...

That’s just creepy I bet he still uses Clabber Girl brand corn starch on his ballsack to prophylax against batwings, truly vile!!

8:19 am February, 23 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Prof. McDouche, I think you have to drink endangered rhino jizz for that to work. Hey you should ask any of our resident old guys about their anti-aging secrets. Since you’re new here they are The Reverend Chad, tall guy, creature, DarkSock and Vin Douchal. How do I know they’re older? Cuz they get really pissed off at me when I make fun of old guys. I’m thinking off patenting my technique as an age test.

8:23 am February, 23 tall guy said...

Dreuche, while in some respects a semi-hott in other ways she’s barely hott and therefore undeserving of the tireless research involved in the creation of a suitable timeline. However do note her gut, which is already showing signs of outward growth. In fact her navel was once an inny but lately it is fast becoming an outty.

8:25 am February, 23 tall guy said...

Dreuche, not quite ‘pissed of.’ Having reached man’s estate I am actually quite okay with it. Mind you a bit of action with the German would be the icing on the cake.

8:30 am February, 23 scumbag619 said...

plinky’s dad

8:35 am February, 23 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy, you, Vin and DarkSock are in my cool older gentlemens club on here. No worries. And yeah she’s not really worth a lot of time is she? Who is the German again? The woman youre not going to bring up till youve nailed the schnitzel out of her, right?

8:36 am February, 23 Justin said...

He’s gotta pound that metamucil before it starts to gel up.

9:11 am February, 23 Vin Douchal said...

That’s Mister Old Guy to you. Get off my lawn and drive slower you snotrag . And pull those fuccen pants up, The only time I wanna see your ass is when my size 11 1/2 boot is heading that way

9:49 am February, 23 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

He looks like my third cousin Hymie Dershowitz.

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. I wouldn’t bang that bleeth with Medusa Oblongata’s dick.

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.Humberts

9:56 am February, 23 Sir Huddleston Fuddleston said...

The Captain for the win.

10:13 am February, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Dr. Alphonse Mephesto finds yet another willing subject to have 7 more asses grafted onto her after her shift at Lady Godiva’s Excalibur Club. Shown here he’s celebrating the successful addition of her third (and longest) clitoris. He’s happy because it appears to be sentient and looking for a good time of its own.

10:23 am February, 23 UFO Destroyers said...

Colin Quinn

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Obers

10:43 am February, 23 icame isaw idouched said...

Better red than dead.

12:20 pm February, 23 Doucheywallnuts said...

If a picture is worth a thousand words, this picture is worth a thousand punches to the groin. The groin, I says.

12:22 pm February, 23 Doucheywallnuts said...

If brevity is the soul of wit, this picture is the soul of soiled undergarments and Maroon 5.

2:28 pm February, 23 troy tempest said...

What you don’t know is that she’s not paid to pose. Tthat’s Phineas’s latest wife. He got the prenup on her, so his retirement’s safe. She just has to fuck his wrinkly ass for another 4 years and she gets $500 a month for 5 years, a Toyota Camry Hybrid, and his old green and grey bungalow down by the river near the Railroad crossing. The kid’s already 3 years old, and she knows she needs something to work with before it all hits the fan. So, marrying Phineas was a good idea. It’s not like he can fucker her every day – heck once a week is high frequency for him. And he’s nice to her. He treats her well, keeps her and her sprog fed. IT’ll run its course -he knows that and she knows that – but in the mean time, she’s covered under his health insurance, and they live in his comfy Ryland split level snout house out in the exurbs. He made a pile selling thread back in the 70s. Phineas the thread dealer he was. He pretty much cornered the market in the Southwest – his genius was seeing how all of that was going overseas, and so he bought up thread companies supplying sweatshops all through SE Asia. Made a fuck ton of money. Retired in his 40s back in the early 90s. Now he doesn’t care. He ditched the saggy old bitch he married back in the 60s. Traded her whiny ass in for a younger model, and got taken to the cleaners. Luckily, he was left with half a fuck ton of money. So, ever since, he marries these tight little sluts and ditches them when they get cranky or their stupid gets too hard to bear. He’s protected by the prenup, so he doesn’t care.

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So, that’s Mrs Phineas, fuckers. Like you’re gonna get anything that hott when you’re in your 60s. Is she bleeth? 100%. Does Phineas care? Fuck no. Does Mrs Phineas care? Fuck no. She’s got a great deal goin’.

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But where’s the love?

6:08 pm February, 23 Nostradouchus said...

Lots of makeup going on in this picture, too.

8:18 pm February, 23 Stephanie said...

Geritol screwdrivers and false teeth are not enough,she has to touch him and smile too? There’s not enough money for a girl to do that. He’s gross,and so are his “hip pimp clothes”.

I bet he smells like farts and Ben Gay.

6:12 am February, 25 brotherbilo said...

@troy tempest 2:28 : best comment I’ve read here in a while!

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