Saturday, March 24, 2012

Comment of the Week: Doucheywallnuts

The on-fire-in-2012 ‘bag hunter and Hall of Mock enshrinee Doucheywallnuts wins another CotW with this epic takedown of Oldbaggery in the Tony Cappaccino thread:

———

This is a photo of Skinny D’Amato, he of the famous ass punch. He went into the witness protection program 15 years ago with the new name of Corky Callahan. He had been doing work for the Scarfo crime family out of Philly and was a major enforcer in Atlantic City when the Feds caught up to him.

He had been working as a co-producer and correographer of the nightly lounge shows at Trump’s Taj Majal. And by co-producer and correographer of the nightly lounge shows at Trump’s Taj Majal, I mean he was collecting the vig for the Scarfo boys and making sure the boardwalk concessions were making their kickback payments on time and in the proper amount.

The Feds caught up with him by accident. They were running some undercover bunko sting with some of the dealers and lounge waitresses, and Skinny had ass punched one of the dealers who owed the Scarfos money. They found one of Skinny’s cuff links in the guy’s anus, which led to a whole chain of unfortunate (for Skinny) chain of events that resulted in Skinny rolling on the Scarfos.

Skinny moved out to Scottsdale where he opened an exotic bird and fish store under his new identity, and stopped punching guys in the ass. Yep that’s I’m alright.

———

Thassa spicy meatball. Good work DW.

# posted by douchebag1
12:27 pm March, 24 Wheezer said...

The brilliance of DW’s post shone extra brightly in that thread because it followed one of mine. The difference in quality is truly earthshaking.

.

And it’s pretty fuccen funny.

12:55 pm March, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Dat’s some funny shit that asspunch line. Much funnier than the amount of finance mathematics I have forgotten over the years only to fucking take over every fucking Shabazz going through my old books to make sense of this long, long thesis I pursue and shit on at the same fucking time. But it’s the old days that get me through. Visions of Jo-Anne Worley giving somebody a whammy on one of those old Gene Rayburn joints before Chuck Barris went all bi-polar and fuck. Or Paul Lynde smacking people with his droll hatred and homosexual laugh on the old Hollywood Squares. I’ll take Morey Amsterdam for the block Peter. Fuck off George Goebel you old flat-topped fucker.

1:07 pm March, 24 Douchble Helix said...

Charley Weaver is the Secret Square!!

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I skipped that oldbag’s thread, and didn’t read DW’s story. Thanks for re-posting, chief!!

2:06 pm March, 24 Et Tu Douche? said...

DW has been bringing it and by bringing it I mean his stories false or not? are hysterical.

3:15 pm March, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I don’t know how I would unburden my focused mind if it wasn’t for this nonsense, Epic Meal Time, and PornHub.

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Anyways, the broad in the picture with the questionable face has one big fucking rack. And by rack I mean tits.

3:24 pm March, 24 Et Tu Douche? said...

She does have nice “milk churners” or if you prefer “front bumpers”

3:46 pm March, 24 Doucheywallnuts said...

I have tears in my eyes, and not because of the kind words, which I do appreciate, but because of Butter Bleeth’s gazongas. Gazongas, I says.

4:54 pm March, 24 Et Tu Douche? said...

Another things that cracks me up about DW’s post is, as someone mentioned awhile ago, that when i read them I hear it as Paulie Walnuts voice.

5:23 pm March, 24 Paulie Wallnuts said...

The Reverend Chad hears the same thing. That’s why it’s funny.Son. I bet there are a few who don’t hear it that way. And for that they must go back and re-read everything he ever said. And by ever said, I mean I heard a song by a band called The Shins during a low-rate commie-lefty-do-good-and-tax party convention here in Canada the strong on TV and I came here to say that ?The Shins suck balls. Big hipster ball. Balls I says. Son.

5:35 pm March, 24 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Damb – I want that platinum blonde to tie me up and spank me while I’m wearing a tutu.

8:08 pm March, 24 Blah said...

I need to hear DW’s take on the night Lana Turner shot Johnny Stompanato. The name “Stompanato” is too good to be true.

8:32 pm March, 24 Juke Joint Sniper said...

Skinny’s favorite asspunch technique was the dreaded “foaming beef enema”.

9:44 pm March, 24 tall guy said...

Great stuff, Wallnuts! Work like this ain’t be done on no Etch A Sketch.

10:01 pm March, 24 tall guy said...

Also, a bit of humour from an Aussie.

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11:23 am March, 25 Baron Von Goolo said...

Hey boss, I think this epic missive deserves a prize of some kind.

.

How about spellcheck?

11:49 am March, 25 tall guy said...

Okay, how about hoomor.

7:35 pm March, 25 Little Willie said...

Platinum Blondie steals the shot. Very nice pearl necklaceable breasts and inviting lips for giving head. Excuse me while I beat off.

7:54 pm March, 25 tall guy said...

Platinum blond steals the shot? Doubtful whether you’d find matching collars’n’cuffs. Suppose you could jizz on that ski-slope nose.

9:24 pm March, 25 tall guy said...

… Actually, on further inspection it’s doubtless you’d find a cock! Teabag, anyone?

11:56 pm March, 25 Nostradouchus said...

Girl on the left = not hot. Girl on the right = Madam Toussaud’s: The Retard Collection.

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Girl in the middle = Confused.

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