Friday, March 2, 2012

Friday Haiku

Michael Bay – King Douche

Pitches concept to Tyson:

“Mike’s Wong Wife Choithes”

Her hair’s gone afro

Since the gyroscope was put

In her monkey hole.

— The Reverend Chad Kroeger


Interracial date

In bizarre love triangle;

John Largeman is watching.

— Douche Springsteen

Number one salesman

At Vegas Bling convention

Wins Mike “Meet and Greet”

— Vin Douchal

Mike Tyson’s next bout

Wynn’s All You Can Eat Buffet

He’ll be champ again

— Magnum Douche P.I.

Baybag blows shit up

Tyson bag blows career up

Douchery never ends

— Capt. James T. Douche

“To Wong Fu, With Love

Needed way more explosions!”

Cocaine-ramble-mouth.

— Douche Wayne

Mike was wife-beater,

can we hope he becomes a

douche beater as well?

— Morbo

# posted by Bagnonymous
7:28 am March, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Mike decides to stick

with ears and not douches due

to high AXE content.

7:29 am March, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Her hair’s gone afro

Since the gyroscope was put

In her monkey hole.

7:29 am March, 2 Douche Springsteen said...

interracial date

in bizarre love triangle

john largeman is watching

7:30 am March, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

After the Borg got

To Tyson’s face he hangs with

Afros and full Khans.

7:30 am March, 2 Colossus of Choads said...

Mike’s pecs too saggy,

to allow shirt removal,

“Unconscionable”.

7:31 am March, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fright wig Asian is

About to get ear fucked while Mike

Get’s it in the rear.

7:31 am March, 2 saulgoode42 said...

It’s embarassing

Miss Oshima’s so fine but

Needs to shave her pits

7:32 am March, 2 Douche Springsteen said...

michael bay whispers

to sultry asian hottie

“try the donkey punch”

7:33 am March, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Vegas NCIS

Tyson goes undercover to

Find gays in Navy.

7:34 am March, 2 Douche Wayne said...

Exhibit “A” at

Tyson’s assault trial: “Mr.

Bay needed a smack.”

7:35 am March, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

In the background, Clint

Black ponders universe. God,

Why am I so short?

7:36 am March, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The bar crowd hushes

In anticipation of three

Way homo smackdown.

7:43 am March, 2 Colossus of Choads said...

SummerSlam grudge match,

Iron Mike Tyson versus:

Hateful Horse-Faced Cunt.

7:44 am March, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Eckscooz me thir. Can

I chew yo nippas nippas?

Nippas I thays. Hatters.

7:46 am March, 2 Douche Wayne said...

Drunken dare: punch in

the face from Iron Mike or

suck face with “Ms.” Tran.

7:49 am March, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Chesty Douche says “You

Chinese. Me play joke. Mike put

Pee-pee in your butt.”

7:51 am March, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That fucking club kid

Is a little long in the

Tooth for boas.

7:56 am March, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

“And from the front, with her pants

off, she looked like Louis Armstrong from

the back.” That is funny shit.

8:23 am March, 2 Vin Douchal said...

Mirage at new low

Siegfried and Roy are long gone

Cirque de Strange Mo’Fo’s

8:23 am March, 2 tall guy said...

Buffet at Enchantment Under The Sea dance

includes ham’n’pineapple pizza

Thurston, I say Thurston Howell Thurd

8:25 am March, 2 Vin Douchal said...

Bad entertainment

Professional Bull Riders

Cowboys are confused

8:27 am March, 2 Vin Douchal said...

Fey magician team

Makes Iron Mike dissapear

Two drink minimum

8:29 am March, 2 Vin Douchal said...

Hangover Fourteen

Todd Phillips one more payday

Straight to DVD

8:30 am March, 2 Vin Douchal said...

Number one salesman

At Vegas Bling convention

Wins Mike “Meet and Greet”

8:32 am March, 2 Vin Douchal said...

Medal around neck

Has been in strange monkey holes

Smells like L.A. dump

8:37 am March, 2 Claude Douchenbagger said...

Even with shirt on,

Tyson wins big boob contest.

But still, the three fail.

8:39 am March, 2 tall guy said...

Success of melting pot inconclusive

Better throw in a ham bone

Coconut cream pie for desert

8:41 am March, 2 tall guy said...

Let’s see if the professor

Can use the transistor radio

To fix this shit, little buddy

8:46 am March, 2 tall guy said...

Christmas in March nativity play

Features kitchen sink drama stars

Who enlivened the disco afterwards

8:55 am March, 2 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Mike Tyson’s next bout

Wynn’s All You Can Eat Buffet

He’ll be champ again

8:55 am March, 2 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Mike Tyson is a

True gentleman and scholar

Now please don’t kill me.

9:00 am March, 2 tall guy said...

Defeated resignation is the true contender

W/- nostalgia and suppressed a close second

Ding!

9:01 am March, 2 tall guy said...

Fuck! Shoulda been ‘suppressed bitterness’

9:18 am March, 2 Douche Wayne said...

Marky Mark just called

wants back his tighty-whities

but keep the hooker

9:24 am March, 2 tall guy said...

David and Goliath

And dude on left with ostrich boa

Marquess of Queensberry

9:35 am March, 2 tall guy said...

Launch for new Marvel/DC title

Cartoon Arms now Cartoon Gut

Better lay off the ham

Drop and give me 20!

10:01 am March, 2 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Two Mikes, One Asian

One double penetration

Away from KO

10:04 am March, 2 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Baybag blows shit up

Tyson bag blows career up

Douchery never ends

10:05 am March, 2 Hong Kong Douchey said...

It is ludicrous

Just how soft I have become

Now we fornicate

10:09 am March, 2 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Baybag pitches film

Tyson in transformers 4

Rise of douchetron

10:16 am March, 2 Capt. James T. Douche said...

C list celebs meet

through mutual jerking off

between Asian taint

10:18 am March, 2 The Dude said...

Boobie sucker thigh

Flamed by hideous sight of

the Baybag-Tyson tag team

10:18 am March, 2 Nancy Dreuche said...

I got to the last

level in Mike Tyson’s “Punch

Out” by eating ham.

10:18 am March, 2 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Out of shape Tyson,

Out of blow Baybag stops for

Snapshot with ladyboy

10:29 am March, 2 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Former champ KOs

buffet at playboy drag party,

Bays next film project.

10:31 am March, 2 Capt. James T. Douche said...

The only thing iron

about Mike Tyson these days

is his bulging gut

10:34 am March, 2 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Hollywood tries to

flush turds that keep coming back

Asian tranny wins

10:49 am March, 2 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Michael Bay churns out

action queefs of the foulest

Tyson digests ham

10:55 am March, 2 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Lost Asian tranny

rubs Tysons Buddha belly

finds glory hole path

11:47 am March, 2 Morbo said...

Spinks … Holyfield’s ear …

Iron Mike needs to add Bay to

list of greatest hits

11:53 am March, 2 Douche Wayne said...

“To Wong Fu, With Love

Needed way more explosions!”

Cocaine-ramble-mouth.

11:59 am March, 2 Morbo said...

Mike was wife-beater,

can we hope he becomes a

douche beater as well?

12:17 pm March, 2 Eponymous Douche said...

Worst. Director. Ever.

Hack.

12:19 pm March, 2 Wheezer said...

Michael Bay says, “NO!

My brother didn’t star on

fuccen Quantum Leap!”

12:26 pm March, 2 Wheezer said...

Stupid fuccen work;

coulda had fun with this since

‘Sock was late again.

12:34 pm March, 2 Wedgie said...

Sock, some disrespect

Rev’s entries, week after week

Are all the same lines.

How many times can

The phrase “gyroscope in her

monkey hole” be used?

12:59 pm March, 2 Wheezer said...

@Wedgie:

.

‘Sock repeats front page

stuff ‘cuz of the gyroscope

in his horsey hole.

.

Well, that’s what I heard

at the Hatter Convention.

Didn’t you attend?

1:16 pm March, 2 Wedgie said...

Thanks, Wheezer.

I will put “monkey hole” and “gyroscope” in all future haikus.

Yours Truly,

Wedgie (Gyroscope Monkey Hole) in San Diego

9:32 pm March, 2 Nostradouchus said...

The chest bling is here.

The fur is way atrocious.

“We’re here and we’re queer.”

11:11 pm March, 4 Little Willie said...

I’d like to watch Mike beat the feather boaed faggot to death with his fists.

Leave a Reply

What is 12 + 6 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)