Friday, March 23, 2012

Friday Haiku

Hark! Beldar ConeHead

Consuming mass quantities

Of Goose and Valtrex

Frank will demonstrate

With Kim his new “Butt Juicer”

Sit and spin on head

— saulgoode42

Vegas offers odds

That bandana hides bald spot

Even money bet

— Charles Nelson Douchely



Bandana covers

odd dome, pinstripe suit hides moobs

Bleeth hides dad issues

— Capt. James T. Douche

Pinky’s dress so short

another inch and the world’s her

gynecologist

— SonnyChibaChoad

With no money left

After buying watch. Brett quit the

Rogaine. Wears bad lamp.

— The Reverend Chad Kroeger

The message is clear

This douchebag needs an ass punch

An ass punch, I says

— Doucheywallnuts

# posted by Bagnonymous
6:33 am March, 23 saulgoode42 said...

All this guy wanted

Was a pepsi, but Jill thought

He said “a Peptol”

6:34 am March, 23 saulgoode42 said...

Frank will demonstrate

With Kim his new “Butt Juicer”

Sit and spin on head

6:40 am March, 23 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Anorexic Ann

Could wear Huge watch as a belt

Is it puke time, yet?

6:41 am March, 23 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Ann Has OCD

Pink is the color of her

Dress, lips, medicine.

6:46 am March, 23 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Vegas offers odds

That bandana hides bald spot

Even money bet

6:52 am March, 23 Colossus of Choads said...

Tough guy Mickey clone,

has injury from browsing,

“left-handed” websites.

6:53 am March, 23 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Ugh, bandana bag

Pounds the Goose with douchey glee

Bleeth stares mindlessly

6:53 am March, 23 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Ryan’s taped fingers

Show heft of Gi-Normous watch.

Suffered finger sprain!

6:55 am March, 23 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Pinstripe juicer bag

Saves used condoms for protein

Vuitton Bleeth same deal

6:56 am March, 23 The Dude said...

The redhead in back

Looks more interesting than

Cuisinart head here.

6:59 am March, 23 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Bandana covers

odd dome, pinstripe suit hides moobs

Bleeth hides dad issues

7:04 am March, 23 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Vuitton Bleeth in Pink

Juicer bag’s ass makes big stink

Society sinks

7:07 am March, 23 Capt. James T. Douche said...

‘Roids shrink nuts and make

Micropeens, pinstripe bag don’t

Care douche life prevails

7:18 am March, 23 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Hydrocephalus

Paging Doctor Largemann STAT

Push 50 of Goose!

7:19 am March, 23 Vin Douchal said...

Axle and Paris

Celebrity look alikes

Wee Bono looks away

7:22 am March, 23 Vin Douchal said...

Red head Viv Largeman

Stalks douchey Ex to the club

Readies shank for kill

7:23 am March, 23 Bilbo Douchebaggins said...

The star on his head

Screams out to the hotts

I am bald – beyotch

7:23 am March, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

His skull’s been wacko

Since the gyroscope was put

In his Monkey Hole

7:24 am March, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Bret Michaels bought watch

With advance money from the

Poison Pub crawl tour.

7:26 am March, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Knuckles chafed from the

Speed fingering he gave her

Tight young snapper box.

7:27 am March, 23 Vin Douchal said...

Douchebag located

Low rent mobster sport jacket

Rmoved it from corpse

7:28 am March, 23 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Pinky’s dress so short

another inch and the world’s her

gynecologist

7:28 am March, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Katy Perry’s ghoulish

Disembodied head floats in rear.

Ready to cocck punch.

7:29 am March, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fake tan. Fake purse.

Hey Mister! Want to buy a

Big gay fucking watch?

7:30 am March, 23 Vin Douchal said...

Answer to question

“How to break douchebag’s fingers?”

Punch him in the nose

7:30 am March, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

With no money left

After buying watch. Brett quit the

Rogaine. Wears bad lamp.

7:32 am March, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Big wigga stripes would

Go better with pocket clock.

Calling Flava Flav!

7:34 am March, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That girl was told she

Looks like Aniston. Must be

Better actress too.

7:35 am March, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d rabbit fuck her

Tight hole until it went through

Chad the Impaler.

7:36 am March, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Her pussy smells so

Nice it had tones of peat moss

And day old douche mung.

7:38 am March, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

His mother told him

A hundred times, ‘No aspirin

Until you are twelve.”

7:39 am March, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

He didn’t listen.

Rise Syndromes a bugger. Head

Is made of metal.

7:50 am March, 23 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Pink Bleeth can’t resist

Muscle bag, her snatch will smell

of creatine soon.

7:52 am March, 23 Doucheywallnuts said...

Societal loss

Wears pink and has pointy head

Large watch optional

7:53 am March, 23 Doucheywallnuts said...

The message is clear

This douchebag needs an ass punch

An ass punch, I says

7:55 am March, 23 johnny applesack said...

Sultan of Douche grins.

Fingers taped, Shocker coming.

LOVE the zoot suit, dick.

7:58 am March, 23 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Mandana of Sun god,

Hand bandaged from wanking,

Does Lounge Lizard.

8:00 am March, 23 johnny applesack said...

Axle Rose on ‘roids

Delivers crushing waiste grab

Herniated discs.

8:19 am March, 23 FoghornLeghorn said...

Axl’s arrival

makes young Paul Simon depart,

despite the lithe blonde.

fake tim tebow gives

thanks to jesus, chloe-madie

doesn’t watch baseball.

8:43 am March, 23 FoghornLeghorn said...

Some people contend

head and peen size correlate.

Not this girlie, though.

9:00 am March, 23 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

Brett Michaels fan club

Lookalike contest winner

All downhill from here

9:05 am March, 23 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

Giant cranium

Contains tiny cerebrum

Hydrocephaly

9:09 am March, 23 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

Double-breasted suit

Plus six pound watch plus headband

Equals cell phone sales

9:13 am March, 23 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

Fingers hurt during

Home self-penetration game

Not gonna stop him

11:19 am March, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Oblio goes douche

on trip through pointed forest.

Arrow smiles and barks.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Look it up muthafucckas.

11:21 am March, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Doctor used salad

tongs to pull douche from mom’s snatch.

Sneeze guard impaired view.

11:22 am March, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Brad’s ‘do rag went up

as soon as he saw Bill. Will

go back down near Gwen.

11:24 am March, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Holy shit! I thought

dicckheads weren’t real but he proves

they can even thrive!

11:25 am March, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I’ll bet he can use

that head to speed fucck Plinky’s

mom. The horror I says!

11:26 am March, 23 Wheezer said...

The Big ‘Bag Theory:

Penny sends her pal Leonard

away so she can flirt.

11:27 am March, 23 Wheezer said...

Change that^ last line to: “off so she can flirt.”

11:29 am March, 23 Wheezer said...

Says he’s a “drummer”;

finger tape “proves” it, but he’s

pounding skin later.

11:34 am March, 23 Wheezer said...

Spirograph design

entry point to vaporize

massive head goiter.

11:38 am March, 23 Wheezer said...

Skully still wows hotts

with “extra” stories, but can’t

remove glued-on prop.

11:44 am March, 23 Wheezer said...

So, in other words,

I guess the top of his head

is a balloon knot?

11:48 am March, 23 Wheezer said...

Wheezer is glad ‘Sock

is late; maybe it’ll even

pay off with front page.

.

But if not, I’m still

enjoying the caustic wit

of fellow hatters.

11:54 am March, 23 Reverend Chad stoned writing a thesis and taking appraisal courses said...

Dark Sock is boating

Haiku waits for no man. New

Buds have me stonered.

11:55 am March, 23 Reverend Chad stoned writing a thesis and taking appraisal courses said...

Stoned academics

Work slowly. Hot campus chicks

Not into old dudes.

11:56 am March, 23 Reverend Chad stoned writing a thesis and taking appraisal courses said...

French Canadian

Chicks however. Don’t mind the

Old cock if cash near.

11:57 am March, 23 Reverend Chad stoned writing a thesis and taking appraisal courses said...

Wedgie is busy

Appraising mansions. SoCal

Dudes are nepos. What?

11:58 am March, 23 Reverend Chad stoned writing a thesis and taking appraisal courses said...

I should cash Wedgie’s

Playoff betting cash and buy

Some good whiskey. Son.

11:52 pm March, 25 Nostradouchus said...

Beeper watch on the….

Mickey O’Rourke wannabe.

Dumb blonde doesn’t care.

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