Friday, March 23, 2012
Friday Haiku
Hark! Beldar ConeHead
Consuming mass quantities
Of Goose and Valtrex
Frank will demonstrate
With Kim his new “Butt Juicer”
Sit and spin on head
— saulgoode42
Vegas offers odds
That bandana hides bald spot
Even money bet
— Charles Nelson Douchely
Bandana covers
odd dome, pinstripe suit hides moobs
Bleeth hides dad issues
— Capt. James T. Douche
Pinky’s dress so short
another inch and the world’s her
gynecologist
— SonnyChibaChoad
With no money left
After buying watch. Brett quit the
Rogaine. Wears bad lamp.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
The message is clear
This douchebag needs an ass punch
An ass punch, I says
— Doucheywallnuts
All this guy wanted
Was a pepsi, but Jill thought
He said “a Peptol”
Frank will demonstrate
With Kim his new “Butt Juicer”
Sit and spin on head
Anorexic Ann
Could wear Huge watch as a belt
Is it puke time, yet?
Ann Has OCD
Pink is the color of her
Dress, lips, medicine.
Vegas offers odds
That bandana hides bald spot
Even money bet
Tough guy Mickey clone,
has injury from browsing,
“left-handed” websites.
Ugh, bandana bag
Pounds the Goose with douchey glee
Bleeth stares mindlessly
Ryan’s taped fingers
Show heft of Gi-Normous watch.
Suffered finger sprain!
Pinstripe juicer bag
Saves used condoms for protein
Vuitton Bleeth same deal
The redhead in back
Looks more interesting than
Cuisinart head here.
Bandana covers
odd dome, pinstripe suit hides moobs
Bleeth hides dad issues
Vuitton Bleeth in Pink
Juicer bag’s ass makes big stink
Society sinks
‘Roids shrink nuts and make
Micropeens, pinstripe bag don’t
Care douche life prevails
Hydrocephalus
Paging Doctor Largemann STAT
Push 50 of Goose!
Axle and Paris
Celebrity look alikes
Wee Bono looks away
Red head Viv Largeman
Stalks douchey Ex to the club
Readies shank for kill
The star on his head
Screams out to the hotts
I am bald – beyotch
His skull’s been wacko
Since the gyroscope was put
In his Monkey Hole
Bret Michaels bought watch
With advance money from the
Poison Pub crawl tour.
Knuckles chafed from the
Speed fingering he gave her
Tight young snapper box.
Douchebag located
Low rent mobster sport jacket
Rmoved it from corpse
Pinky’s dress so short
another inch and the world’s her
gynecologist
Katy Perry’s ghoulish
Disembodied head floats in rear.
Ready to cocck punch.
Fake tan. Fake purse.
Hey Mister! Want to buy a
Big gay fucking watch?
Answer to question
“How to break douchebag’s fingers?”
Punch him in the nose
With no money left
After buying watch. Brett quit the
Rogaine. Wears bad lamp.
Big wigga stripes would
Go better with pocket clock.
Calling Flava Flav!
That girl was told she
Looks like Aniston. Must be
Better actress too.
I’d rabbit fuck her
Tight hole until it went through
Chad the Impaler.
Her pussy smells so
Nice it had tones of peat moss
And day old douche mung.
His mother told him
A hundred times, ‘No aspirin
Until you are twelve.”
He didn’t listen.
Rise Syndromes a bugger. Head
Is made of metal.
Pink Bleeth can’t resist
Muscle bag, her snatch will smell
of creatine soon.
Societal loss
Wears pink and has pointy head
Large watch optional
The message is clear
This douchebag needs an ass punch
An ass punch, I says
Sultan of Douche grins.
Fingers taped, Shocker coming.
LOVE the zoot suit, dick.
Mandana of Sun god,
Hand bandaged from wanking,
Does Lounge Lizard.
Axle Rose on ‘roids
Delivers crushing waiste grab
Herniated discs.
Axl’s arrival
makes young Paul Simon depart,
despite the lithe blonde.
fake tim tebow gives
thanks to jesus, chloe-madie
doesn’t watch baseball.
Some people contend
head and peen size correlate.
Not this girlie, though.
Brett Michaels fan club
Lookalike contest winner
All downhill from here
Giant cranium
Contains tiny cerebrum
Hydrocephaly
Double-breasted suit
Plus six pound watch plus headband
Equals cell phone sales
Fingers hurt during
Home self-penetration game
Not gonna stop him
Oblio goes douche
on trip through pointed forest.
Arrow smiles and barks.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Look it up muthafucckas.
Doctor used salad
tongs to pull douche from mom’s snatch.
Sneeze guard impaired view.
Brad’s ‘do rag went up
as soon as he saw Bill. Will
go back down near Gwen.
Holy shit! I thought
dicckheads weren’t real but he proves
they can even thrive!
I’ll bet he can use
that head to speed fucck Plinky’s
mom. The horror I says!
The Big ‘Bag Theory:
Penny sends her pal Leonard
away so she can flirt.
Change that^ last line to: “off so she can flirt.”
Says he’s a “drummer”;
finger tape “proves” it, but he’s
pounding skin later.
Spirograph design
entry point to vaporize
massive head goiter.
Skully still wows hotts
with “extra” stories, but can’t
remove glued-on prop.
So, in other words,
I guess the top of his head
is a balloon knot?
Wheezer is glad ‘Sock
is late; maybe it’ll even
pay off with front page.
.
But if not, I’m still
enjoying the caustic wit
of fellow hatters.
Dark Sock is boating
Haiku waits for no man. New
Buds have me stonered.
Stoned academics
Work slowly. Hot campus chicks
Not into old dudes.
French Canadian
Chicks however. Don’t mind the
Old cock if cash near.
Wedgie is busy
Appraising mansions. SoCal
Dudes are nepos. What?
I should cash Wedgie’s
Playoff betting cash and buy
Some good whiskey. Son.
Beeper watch on the….
Mickey O’Rourke wannabe.
Dumb blonde doesn’t care.