Friday, March 16, 2012

Friday Thoughts and Links

If there’s one stain that I find hardest to get off my shoes after a vigorous round of street pilates, it’s Aging Rocker Choad.

I’ve read that lemon juice and yak spittle helps to get the grime of failed teenage dreams off one’s shoe after stepping into the residue of years of mediocre bar gigs and unpaid medical bills. And no, momentary affections from Giggle Kelly will not rescind the dark voices of fear that Aging Rocker Choad’s cold and distant Father was correct after all.

Your humble narrator prowls the streets of New York City with wandering eye of boobie hottie suckle thigh, East Coast Librarian Hott edition.

Burgers and weight gain are on the weekend agenda.

Here’s your links:

Your HCwDB French DVD Pick of the Week: “It’s an amazing thing really, when you think about it, we learn life’s most important lessons from TV.”

This week in douche-trends: Mantyhose! Or, as the kids call it, ‘Brosiery.’

Maureen Dowd, the always hip and cutting edge editorial writer at the New York Times, gets down with the kids and jumps on the “What’s Wrong with Men?” bandwagon.

Epic Fail blog brings the Moob Fail.

For those who haven’t seen this, visionary director Sam Gavite takes us behind the scenes of a “Skweezy Jibbs” video shoot.

Vegas brings the herpster subtext into the text.

In Russia, Transvestite Vampire Douche Freaks ‘bag hunt you!

Duckface: The Race for the Cure

But you are not here for Duckface Cure. Well, perhaps you are. But you are also here for Pear. And so Pear shall be:

Mayan Eye of Coitus Pear

Go forth and celebrate the Ides of Jane March.

# posted by douchebag1
12:49 pm March, 16 Douchble Helix said...

That Russian thing freaks me out.

12:51 pm March, 16 Tanath said...

I’m picking up more the Crazy Eye of Samson Pear…

12:52 pm March, 16 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Yeah, thanks DB1. When I wake in the middle of the night screaming from the Russian Transvestite Vampire Douche Nightmare, you’ll be to blame.

12:59 pm March, 16 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fuk me! I think tose tags ruined my birthday, St .Patties, AND MOTHERS birthdsay this weekends. I think that now thisa shall be my last biraday. 47 is the end. I will comit death ny boiling lamb stew while on heroine in fromt of my fiends and familys thiking of blonde pare.

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Successors

1:01 pm March, 16 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Gotta say – the zoom icon for Mayan Pear is a BIG Tease!

1:06 pm March, 16 The Dude said...

When it’s cold out, I wear bicycle tights under sweat pants for a little extra warmth. But I never model the tights, because no one would pay me.

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Is giggle Kelly really Going Out With Him?? Ghaaaaaaa!!

1:24 pm March, 16 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I’d gladly stab MEoC Pear or Jane March. IYKWIMAITTYD.

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Repeatedly, until spent.

1:49 pm March, 16 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

Somewhere on this earth, someone — or something — has had the Russian Vam-penis inside of it.

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I will not sleep well tonight.

2:02 pm March, 16 Doucheywallnuts said...

The Russian Vampire Tattooed douchebag has given me writer’s block, and I have nothing to add….

2:03 pm March, 16 tall guy said...

Pear is hott despite having a back stamp.

2:38 pm March, 16 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Holy Fuck!! Someone put a stake through its black Cossack heart of douchey darkness!! I thought the fringe world of douche oddities had peaked with Brazilian Emo Hulk but I thought wrong!

Doucheferatu

3:25 pm March, 16 Wedgie said...

mantyhose….brosiery…..guylons.

6:28 pm March, 16 Jeet Kune Douche said...

DB1 – your lemon juice and yak spittle tonic for removing douchetar is insufficient. An appropriately effective solution can be made from an Aqua Regia of Sulfuric & Nitric acid, laced with gasoline and cobalt 59. Apply to douchestain generously, light a match and immediately retreat to a safe distance. Be advised – material should be handled with lead gloves, and an isolated breathing apparatus should be used at all times.

For elimination of larger waste deposits (such as an entire douchal entity), substitute gasoline with naphta and dispense thru a flamethrower. Minimum safe distance is 50 ft. Lead-lined full body suit highly recommended.

12:17 am March, 17 Nostradouchus said...

He doubles as her ghey hair dresser. Convenient.

12:22 am March, 17 Stephanie said...

How does she put up with a guy who swipes her clothes?

5:13 am March, 17 CB Popped said...

Not digging this particular Rockerbag – going for a Axl – Steventyler – BlackCrow’s vibe.

That’s one too many silk scarves bucko.

He’s poo.

She’s sugar and spice.

5:28 am March, 17 Lurker said...

Today’s pear reveals the tiniest bit of nipple, thank the Mayan gods!

6:51 am March, 17 Little Willie said...

David Schwimmer’s retarded brother. That Russian vampire faggot takes it up the ass a lot because those teeth scare off the blowjob candidates.

7:23 am March, 17 Et Tu Douche? said...

Mmmmm………… Mayan Eye of Coitus Pear.

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Shamrocks

8:27 am March, 17 Wheezer said...

She has a back stamp? I’ve been gazing upon her since yesterday and only saw chewable cheek and blue lace…..oh wait, there it is.

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Going back to the cheek and blue lace now…..

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Blarney stoners (not just RevChad)

9:10 am March, 17 tall guy said...

She has good jugs as well, Wheezer! Don’t tell me you didn’t notice ’em. If you didn’t you may need to take Nancy Dreuche’s stalker correspondence course.

9:13 am March, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Sweet fuck I’m still drimk from last night. Somebody broke my tin whistle and bhodran. Drunk dogans.

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9:27 am March, 17 tall guy said...

I suggest an Irish coffee as a hearty pick-me-up, Kroeger. Then, back into it.

10:58 am March, 17 Wheezer said...

Great jugs on lacey Mayan Eye Pear, indeed! But I guess I was guarding against going in to me “Irish” mode – I didn’t want to let slip the “What a fine li’l lass” comment that could get me slapped.

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Brogues

12:31 pm March, 17 Wedgie said...

Hey, bitch-slap me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that Francine?

12:33 pm March, 17 Wedgie said...

It’s her. Check out the Hall of Hott pic 2.

Not sure this guy is an upgrade from Liptatt.

1:23 pm March, 17 Wedgie said...

Make that Mack the Nozzle. Sorry, my blood alcohol level is elevated you fuccen leprechauns.

11:06 pm March, 17 Douche Springsteen said...

Did you guys see Ivan Largemanevich in the last pic of the Russian transvestite vampire series? He is haunted as we all are now.

4:41 am March, 19 wonderdouche twin said...

Mayan Eye is smokin!, even with the tat! I prefer this tat coverup better tho.

http://retardmedia.com/uploads/2008/05/Haley-Hart-1%282%29.jpg

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